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Anonymous
2016-05-12 20:09:39 Post No. 17137153
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Anonymous
2016-05-12 20:09:39
Post No. 17137153
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Hello /adv/, I'm at a crossroads. I'm not going to disclose exactly what I've done (not illegal, but don't ask), because in the grand scheme of things it isn't really all that important because it's already been done, but let's just say I did something completely and irreparably fucked my life, financial future, and relations with my family. I've been living a lie for over a year now waiting for the inevitable, and now I'm at the point where I'll have no choice but to put it out in the open. The end result is going to be, no matter what I do, be me homeless, unemployed, friendless and with very little in the way of money or job prospects. There is no begging or asking for forgiveness because I'm 100% guilty, and for the personal reasons that I'm not disclosing they have every right to hate me for what I've done. There's literally no other way that this is going to end. Ideally, knowing for a long time in advance that it was coming, I would have prepared for this, but to be honest I was too depressed/suicidal to care and preferred to live in denial about it.
Anyway, I'll get to the point. Because my shame won't allow me to face my family and it really won't matter if I do or not, I've decided that I want to disappear. Maybe for good.
I'm a grown man, and I can run away from my problems if I damn well please.
I'm caught up between going on a soul searching trip backpacking across America (but I honestly don't even know if that's possible to with no car/money/friends) until I figure out what to do/maybe kill myself, or blowing what little money I have flying somewhere crazy and then partying myself to death. At the very least offing myself sober in a nice hotel room, go out with a bang.
I only have a few days to decide, so any information you could give me about either of those things would be very much appreciated. Any alternative ideas about what I should do, which I know is hard based on what little info I gave, are also accepted.
Also, should I leave a note?
