Hello /adv/
I've been dating this girl for about 4 months now. She is the first girl that I've been with in about a year, relationship wise.
Shes a nice girl, very nice. She does cute shit all of the time like send me cards in the mail with little notes on them. Shes very affectionate, and clingy. I enjoy the time I spend with her, but I don't like seeing her more than once a week.
I've tried to make it work, but I fear that I'm just dragging out the inevitable. I don't feel that I have any real future with her, and I need to know how to end it.
Note: I've never broken off a relationship on good terms. Every time I've left a girl it was because they did something that I couldn't stand.
TL:DR - How do I break up with a nice girl, "nicely" without hurting her?
>>17135651
Sorry man, you can't, do it now, literally right now. However make sure you want to go through with your decision. There is no going back. Do it now, if you lead her on any longer she will be more hurt.
>>17135651
why dont u like seeing her a lot?
>>17135840
Basically, I run my own business and I feel that the time I spend with her could be better used.
I work 16 hour days, and if I didn't end up working with the time I spent with her, I feel that laying around and watching netflix isn't a good use of my time.
Im sure its because I don't like her anymore.
>>17136473
>Basically, I run my own business and I feel that the time I spend with her could be better used.
I think you'll feel the same with everyone you'll have it going well with. I think it's because you either get complacent or take her for granted (because you do like her, see 'I enjoy the time I spend with her'), so in your mind, if that's always going to be there, then you want to spend your time doing the thing you like doing the most, which is working.
But the thing is, OP, you'll spend your life just working and working. Ignoring people and anything else that isn't work. You'll wake up several years later to see you have nothing besides the money, and the job. Maybe you'll even lose your marriage (if you'll even find someone who would want to marry you when you're so absent), etc. So rather ask yourself, why you feel you must work so much? Is that what life is for you, just ignoring everyone and just work? Are you trying to fill a void, are you trying to prove yourself? Ask yourself questions like these.
>>17136732
I have dreams. Big dreams. And they're only getting farther away everyday. I'm working toward a future where my kids won't have to worry about things like I did.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to find a girl and slow down, it's just that I know the she's not it. I do need to try and balance my work load though.
>>17137040
Keep this up and there won't be any kids, and you'll find you've worked for nothing.
>>17137141
You're right. But do you you think that cutting back on work will make me feel differently about her?
My thoughts about it are when I find a girl that I really see myself marring, I'll cut back for her
>>17137794
You could just, you know, suggest to do stuff with her that is worth your time. Break up with netflix, not the girl.
>>17137794
I can't tell you if she is the right one or not, you know this.
But I do know that looking differently at your work and realizing you're doing it out of fear, what implications this has, will make you look differently on life in general. It's that fear that you need to work on.
You also have one youth, and the older you grow, the harder you'll be able to make friends. So enjoy the people in your life and spend time with them, so you don't end up having regrets later.
