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Hey /adv/ So in the past month my life went from pretty alright
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Anonymous
2016-05-12 05:19:20 Post No. 17135369
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Anonymous 2016-05-12 05:19:20 Post No. 17135369 [Report]
Hey /adv/

So in the past month my life went from pretty alright to absolutely fucking garbage.

>Living with dad and fiance
>have shitty job but it makes the bils and has a nice atmosphere
>dad says corny jokes and is my closest relative
>relationship is great
>live willingly with father, he is not health savvy enough to live on his own
>but we are peas in a pod
>april 19th
>dad comes home acting strange
>dial 911
>paramedics come
>"i dont want to die anon"
>"you wont dad"
>paramedics ask me to leave
>they tell me he died
>last words i said to him were a lie
>cant afford rent anymore so have to live with astranged mother
>she is trying to be close to me but its only weird and uncomfortable given our past
>father gets cremated
>ask to get small amount of ashes in specific urn for me
>rest will be in mosoleum
>go to cremation office to pick up small portion in nice urn
>gives me ALL of the remains
>"sorry anon you have to take all of it, just deliver it to the cemetary yourself"
>carry my dad in a box out to the car
>"how does it feel to be holding your dad in a box" my mother says
>feel my soul leave my body
>dads ashes now sit in my living room
>right next to where my mother put a mattress down so i can sleep
>cant sleep
>put on weight cause depressed as fuck
>fiance gets horny
>havent had sex in over a month now
>lost all drive for art which i used to love
>starting to fail at my job
>boss knows my dad died and is trying to be sympathetic
>but i have no drive anymore
>cant blame them for being annoyed with me
>go to doctor for anxiety medication
>beg her for it
>"no no go to this psychiatrist they will perscribe it"
>have absolutely no motivation or willpower to do this
>panic attacks near constant


Now i lay here, with the only relative i loved dead, no house, listening to my mom have sex, have an unsatisfied fiance, and im getting fat.

Life is garbage guys, im pretty fucking over this life.

Post ending in dubs decides if i off myself.
>>
Anonymous 2016-05-12 05:23:03 Post No.17135383
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Anonymous 2016-05-12 05:23:03 Post No.17135383 [Report]
Besides your dad dying, which sucks, your life is absolutely fine. Definitely not worth killing yourself over
>>
Anonymous 2016-05-12 05:23:54 Post No.17135386
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Anonymous 2016-05-12 05:23:54 Post No.17135386 [Report]
Go to your psychiatrist appointment, get a better living situation move in with your gf if you can, if you don't have enough money to make ends meet you may need to get a second job or find a new job that pays better.

Everyone has a hard time dealing with the death of a parent, especially if you're close. I'm not gonna lie to you and say things will ever be like they were, after your parents die the whole world is a bit grayer and that never goes away. Atleast your mother is still alive.
>>
Anonymous 2016-05-12 06:39:23 Post No.17135633
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Anonymous 2016-05-12 06:39:23 Post No.17135633 [Report]
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>>17135383
Im a fat homeless mooch with no relative left that gives a fuck about me and a fiance that cares about his dick more then how i feel. Why shouldnt i die?

>>17135386
I have no energy anon.. I just sit around, smoke cigarettes, and stare at my fathers ashes. His funeral is on saturday. I have a few hydrocodone to get me through it, but i only have two pills left. I dont know what to do with myself. I just want the pain to stop.

Posting related memes because internet jokes are all i have.
>>
Anonymous 2016-05-12 06:41:47 Post No.17135639
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Anonymous 2016-05-12 06:41:47 Post No.17135639 [Report]
>>17135633
Of course i get the fucking dubs jesus christ.
>>
Anonymous 2016-05-12 08:15:00 Post No.17135844
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Anonymous 2016-05-12 08:15:00 Post No.17135844 [Report]
Don't do it friend. My wife passed away two years ago and I wouldn't have believed back then, that I would be alive now.

Took almost two years before I had any sense of happiness again, but it feels like it's coming into reach slowly.

If anything, commit suicide a remove place like the desert in the woods. The journey out there may be helpful in itself.
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