I am doing a PhD and I am failing miserably even though I work my ass off.
I've been working out since 5 years (4x/week) but I am still not ripped enough to look good.
I've been going out with RSD-instructors for 2 years but I still can't have a fun conversation with girls or get laid.
Everyday I work really hard on improving myself (reading books, eating healthy, no procrastination) and I push myself despite even having troubles getting out of bed in the morning.
I feel like I work so much harder on myself than anyone I know, yet I produce ZERO measurable results in my life.
I have no fun in my life since I produce nothing at all.
What am I doing wrong?
I don't want to live this life anymore, but I don't want to die either...
>>17133555
Anon, what do you enjoy yourself?
Anon, why are you pursuing PhD when masters are more than enough to get solid job?
Anon, why do you want to be ripped? Isn't being fir considered enough?
Anon, why are you paying for such service as RDS instructors?
RDS?
are those like pick up artist?
is that actually a job?
>>17133555
It's not what you are but who you are.
What do you do that improves on who you are as person on the inside?
What you're doing sounds like somebody who has a fast, shiny expensive car but no keys.
>>17133571
I only enjoy myself when I feel like I am making progress at something. Fun for the sake of fun is bullshit in my opinion.
I don't just want a 'job', I want to make a difference in the world.
I feel like getting ripped is just the next step from being 'just muscular'.
My friend moved to the US to become an instructor, but we went out together for like 2 years before that (Europe).
Too much Ego.
>>17133586
Oh I see, you are living life on hard mode. That is a bold move worth some respect on its own.
>Fun for the sake of fun is bullshit.
You were supposed to answer here: I am having fun only when pushing limits. And I can see it: you are pushing limits of your body, knowledge and even the world itself. Nice :-)
But you see anon, we are simple human beings. With your current attitude, you may fall into burnout thingy described here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout
So to your goals:
>PhD
Even when doing this, uni may assign some really crappy task where you won't be able to have any big sort of impact in your field, because it usually ends like: this hypothesis is wrong or unusable or unprofitable. Making difference requires much more than just hard work. It usually needs a ton of luck with other things. If you don't believe me, just read some bibliography of people who made the difference.
>ripped
If we are talking about looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his formed glory days, you should know it is pretty much impossible unless you go to steroids path. Whole >>>/fit/ is about how first ~3 years you can see progress, then you hit the ceiling. IMHO being fit is more than enough in our current society.
>RDS thingy.
You know that dating isn't science? If it was well described science, then we wouldn't see tfw no gf threads all around 4chan. YOU CAN'T TRAIN FOR THAT. Only advice here is to realize what do you expect from your girl / wife and act like it. And no, there is no objective measurement to see how well you are in dating game. Unless you want to keep record of girls in your bed, which I bet isn't something you want to become (man-whore).
You can live your life on hard settings anon. Just remember to not set your targets too high.
It doesn't matter how hard you work.
What matters is what you are doing while you are working hard.
Spend your time figuring out how to improve your study methods. Spend your time going to /fit/s sticky and professional resources to figure out what is wrong with your exercise routine.
Etc. Get this shit sorted out. It takes the same effort to do a really top tier exercise routine as i does to do a mediocre one. Put in the same energy you are now more intelligently and you'll get the results you're looking for.
And make sure you're getting enough sleep. 7-8 hours. I can't tell you how many people i've run into that are trying to live on 5-6 hours. its ridiculous. Don't do that.
>>17133645
Wow, the burnout article on wikipedia hits it spot on, thanks. I think I've had every single one of these 12 symptomes for a good decade now...
>>17133681
But quoting myself on my own statement:
Maybe I just fell into the trap of Barnum Effect?
And what with people like Elon Musk, Julius Caesar and Steve Jobs? Why can they change the world without having a burnout..?
>>17133736
Did you read their bibliography?
I will quote myself
>>17133645
>Making difference requires much more than just hard work. It usually needs a ton of luck with other things.
Just target the moments when they were deciding what to do: most of the time any reasonable person would go the safe path. They always went the dangerous way. We call it life on the edge. High risk, possible high reward with very big chance of total failure.
I am not saying you shouldn't drop your dreams, but maybe keep a fail save scenario in case you won't succeed. And btw Steve Jobs was the biggest prick on the world with good economic strategy. Funny that even having all the money didn't save him from cancer.
>>17133811
yeah I read all of theirs'. Biographies are my favourite genre in literature.
I see your point.
I got a lot of interesting feedback from this topic, thanks guys.
one last question:
Perfectionism.
I can't be content with anything but 'perfect'.
Even if there is a little thing off, that is good enoug for 99.0%, I can't accept it and maybe waste time trying to improve it or let it go (such as relationships, projects or endeavours).
>>17133586
You're depressed about not being ripped and failing your PHD and you want to make a difference in the world? What difference? What do you want to do? You need a specific, realistic goal and a plan, not "I wanna make a difference". That's a child's dream, might as well want to be a superhero.
A phd and a great body mean nothing by themselves, if you are aggressively pursuing these things only for the sake of improving yourself while having no real goals in mind and no passions for these things you will find yourself empty, sad and lonely. Especially if you think "fun for the sake of fun is bullshit" and focus only on improving yourself, while forgetting about pleasure.
This is not what life is supposed to be about, you're supposed to balance these things.
>>17133853
>I can't be content with anything but 'perfect'.
Most of the population have the opposite problem .-)
Use this rule:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninety-ninety_rule
It applies to everything. Perfection is expensive as fuck. You gotta need to learn how to drop perfectionism. Perfectionism can exists only in mathematics world. The reality is a lot of things, but perfection simply doesn't exists anywhere. If you don't, you will only end up sad in the long run.
>>17133555
>I've been working out since 5 years (4x/week) but I am still not ripped enough to look good.
You haven't been counting your calories at all, haven't you? That and you may be eating junk food as well