I've recently started dating a pretty reserved guy. It's not that he's shy, just very different from the guys I've been close to thus far. Seems like a real gentleman if you will.
I'm at a loss and I don't know how to behave cause it's pretty clear that we're very attracted to each other but he just won't make a move. Should I take matters into my own hands and escalate it? Can anyone see themselves in what I'm saying and maybe explain how it feels on your side. I mean if I think about it logically it's clear hes into me but the lack of action is making me feel like I might be imagining it.
And no, I don't want to jump into bed, I mean just kissing and stuff. Should I make the move or just wait for him to make it? Would I seem too aggressive?
Go for it. Maybe he's not sure how you feel. Trying to kiss him, then you'll know for sure.
>>17133374
No he knows and he's told me but he won't make a physical move. This is a new experience cause most guys would do anything to fuck you.
>>17133385
Oh do you think he'd think differently of you if you did? Not sure what to tell you in that case. Other than that I still say go for it. How else is it going to happen?
>>17133407
Well I mean he will probably do it at a point but I'm getting impatient. But yeah I'm afraid he'll think I'm too aggressive.
>>17133428
I like that quality. I meant more like maybe he's really conservative or something. It's just a kiss, what's the big deal? I will admit it's strange to me, anything sexual will keep me around. How many times have you met?
>>17133368
Are you dating an Asian guy? Lots of them act this way. I wouldn't say be aggressive to him, but if you want him to start making the move, give him alot of OBVIOUS HINTS and OPENINGS that allow him to make the move. Sometimes he will and sometimes he won't. You mentioned that he's a real gentleman and that's why. Those dudes are so respectful and polite, that alot of times they don't make a move because they are afraid of coming off as an asshole to you. It will become easier as you become closer over time. Good luck.
>>17133475
Around 5 or 6 but we used to work together before so we've known each other longer. He's probably trying to be a decent guy but moving fast is normal these days so it makes me wonder.
>>17133486
>OBVIOUS HINTS and OPENINGS
Such as?
>>17133486
just make a move
kiss him nothing wrong with that and you cant take it wrong like "signals" and "hints"
>>17133368
>tfw no shy, reserved gentleman bf
>>17133498
Such as
>compliments (so that he's sure you like him)
>sitting close to him (so he knows your comfy)
>touching him in suddle ways (shoulder, hands)
>hugs (don't let go so fast, it's a kiss opening)
Guide him with lots of gentle baby steps and be patient. Don't be disappointed when he doesn't because he sounds like a guy worth the wait.
>>17133368
>real gentleman
>he won't even try to kiss me
lol
This is same as with the thread when girl having crush on somebody asked him to bake a cake :-D
Use KISS rule: keep it simple stupid.
Wanna kiss up? What about ask, give order or do it yourself? Because giving mixed signals which makes in your head "kiss me now idiot" will translate in guy's head like: "why is she behaving so weird today?" And even direct command can be pretty romantic or hot for both sides if done right.
>>17133521
didnt work on me, lots of guys dont get stuff like that
a girl was doing all of that the whole day, leaning really close with her face and the point missed my head by a mile
dont play games too long, make a move
>>17133537
fine, but according to how she's describing the guy, he might feel she's too aggressive if she went right for a kiss. He might feel like he's being respectful while she comes off as a girl that can't contain herself and it will turn him off and he'll go looking for some new gentle girl.
How about this? Give him a kiss next to his lips but not right on it. It'll count as a cheek kiss, but do it more close to his lips next time you hangout. He will think you are adorable and you want a kiss but you didn't jump right in.
>>17133559
thats actually really good advice
that worked on me after everything failed
after that i was confused and he had to TELL ME how she felt
and after a day of hanging out with him a hug and a kiss wont be aggressive if you do it in a sweet way if you jump on him and start making out yeah that would be aggressive
but for the love of god if he still doesnt get it just tell him and spare him the trouble, trust me its hell
I'm a pretty reserved guy too and it's pretty obvious in the way I look and act (my girlfriend's admitted she thought she was going to have to make all the moves we were first started dating xD) , but the last few years I've kind of loosened up a bit and forced myself to branch out of my comfort zone and have become insanely assertive (which surprised the hell out of my girlfriend lol).
Just posted something about initiating physical contact that might be relevant >>17133533
Something I've learned, assertive is almost never a bad thing, as long as it's respectful.
You can always tell when someone is respectful, and when someone is not because their intents comes across in their very manner and disposition.
I've had a few women chase me over the years (and in the reverse, I've experimented a lot while dating), and I could always tell which were which. My girlfriend was assertive and aggressive in a pretty respectful way, and I appreciated it.
Don't be afraid to make a move if that's what you want to do, because as long as you're trying to be considerate and your intents are well meaning, it'll be apparent.
>>17133368
>Their (alleged) music makes me want to kill things.
Sounds pretty fucking metal to me.
