Ive only been dateing her for about a month, but ive known her for about a year. Shes a full package, smart, beautiful, very good career and finances, parents are loaded, great in bed, understanding and trustworthy. She like a 10 and im maybe a 7, shes a catch and im trying to hold on to her.
She is moving away with her family to find work and better, cheaper houseing. She has always wanted to move but only got the opportunity just now. She wants to have a nice little townhouse would be a great home at a very cheap price.
We are both in our mid-twenties and have a good handle on life. I have a full time job that doesnt pay much, but its in my field of study. Where i am geographically right now is where ive been my whole life. Family, friends, and all connections to people are here. It seems there would be even more/better jobs for me where she is moving to, but finding friends may be hard. She has expressed that she wants to stay in a relationship with me, and she would like if i moved with her.
I really like this girl, and i dont want to lose her, but at the same time i think a long distance thing would cause too much stress for me to function. I feel my options are:
>move with her. Shes great, the place shes moving to is great, whats to lose?
>do long distance. Shit will suck but atleast you have a reason to take a vacation in a nice place.
>dump her. 'Plenty of fish in the sea' you wont be sad for all too long.
Help me out anons? Are there other options? Ill answer questions if you feel the need to ask.
Thanks in advance.
>>17132782
Always follow when successful people. If you expand your job radius to more than just your hometown, then your chances of getting a better paying job you enjoy increase dramatically.
Don't move for a girl you've been with a month.
Try LDR if you really wanna make it work and can see yourself moving in with her in a year or two. If you're close enough to visit weekly, this is viable.
Breaking up is also viable. There won't be seriously hurt feelings because one of you is moving, so you'll leave things amicably. Because she's out of town you'll move on comparatively quickly.
How easy is it to meet people? Realistically, will you find someone as good as her again? Do you want a long term future with this bird?
Gotta ask yourself these things
>>17132843
Thinking about it purely as a professional and finacial choice is a new way to look at it for me. Thank you very much for your opinion.
>>17132861thabks for the opinion. She would be much farther away than weekly visits would seem realistic. Id be lucky if i saw her once a month in person with the LDR.
It is not easy for me to meet people. Im not very sociable and i tend to stick with in my small comfort zone. Thinking honestly with myself, i dont think i will find a girl like this who is so open and comfortable with me as i am with her. I do see myself having a very long relationship with her. I feel that if id break up with her that id regret it. This moving is the only solid reason to break up with her, and the only reason i feel id do that is to spare me the stress of the LDR.
May also be worth mentioning that she will still be here with me for about another 2 months at the least. So i dont need an immediate decision, just different ways to look at it.
is there a way to move without burning bridges too badly at your current situation so it would probably still be there as a fall back if the move doesn't work out?
LDR is shit. it can be a stopgap short term plan if you have xyz reason to wait some amount of time before moving bc of job shit or w/e
breaking up with her for moving seems completely stupid when her reasons for moving are legit and you are amenable to moving yourself
the only downside to moving you've listed is it might be a little hard to find friends. a 10/10 gril who you like a ton is worth the effort of making new friends and making new friends can be fun
>>17133119
If i was to move, i would always have a place with family and friends in my hometown for sure. My friends are all ones i would hangout with over online games anyway. They wouldnt burn a bridge on me. I still have time to make a choice before she moves. I feel open to the idea of moving, i know it wont be easy but i dont want moving so far away for a girl wpuld make me regret it.
I see no reason why not to move.
What's there to loose really? If things really go south, she isn't your entire life, then you'll make it on your own or move back to your home town.
You are 25 already so I don't understand why you are so stuck in your own little circle. Not blaming you though, but just saying that relocating yourself isn't a biggie at that point in time, if studies or a very good job isn't holding you back. Or a kid, or a mortgage, but apparently there's no such aspects in your situation.
I moved to another country because of a man when I was 19. Young and stupid, and eventually the relationship didn't work either. Over night I was forced to fly back home and live with my parents. I was heartbroken and devastated, but I survived.
It was few years ago, and today I live in that said country I moved when I was 19. Studying in a university and I've gained a lot of new friends. It hasn't always been easy, but I don't regret leaving.
Go for it! Leave your comfort zone. And if she's a catch, it's not said that you'd find anything like her. Or the feeling that you have with her at least.
Mr OP, I wouldn't worry about not being able to find any new friends. Unless your field of work is to sit completely isolated from the outside world, chances are you're gonna have collegues that may very well become your friends to some degree. Then you may meet their friends and so on and BAM you have friends :P As for your old friends, you say that they wouldn't burn bridges on you for moving away. For me, most of my friends have moved away for studies and such but still turn up home every now and then, it's not hard to stay in touch these days.
Lastly though and the most important bit is whether or not this girl is worth it. If you really like her and if you could find a job where she's moving that would suit you then don't see how you could lose anything on this unless you 2 suddenly break up. But if you feel that your relationship is stable enough, go for it :)
>>17133165
>>17133169
I have a similar view of the situation as you two do. Id have to leave my job, but its not great. And i could find a job that is just as good if not better. I feel she is a great enough girl for me to up root and follow her. I just need to take this extra couple months to weight the options. Thanks for your input fellow anons.
>>17133144
you need to be more honest about what is giving you pause. nothing you have said so far makes this sound like a hard decision. roll the dice, go for it, if she's worth it and it works out you could be happy for rest of your life. if it doesn't nbd at least you'll never be wondering what could have happened if you had balls
but you keep resisting that advice, what aren't you mentioning?
>>17133231
I think im just afraid of leaving my hometown behind. What if i cant find a job, or friends, or im unhappy being that far from my friends and family. this would be my first time moving away so far that id lose personal contact. This would be the bivgest change my life has ever had, and i would have alot to adjust. I believe in the girl and my relationship with her, but all the other changes give me a huge amount of anxiety. It sounds like an easy choice to roll the dice , but im not typicaly a gambling man. Its hard for me to justify leaving behind all i know just to stay with this girl when it could end up bad, but just letting her go would suck because i never would of know if it could of worked.
Again, thanks for the input. I hope this was the honesty you were hoping for.
>>17133301
yeah it is, i respect that fear but its not what should make this decision for you. hope you can see that.
what you should do is with the time before the move, plan it out, lay the groundwork so that you do get a good job and hang out with your most important friends, let them know you are moving, see what they say. and talk to your family, get their input/advice/support.
going for it is 100% right because that wondering what could have been shit can gnaw it you for the rest of your life. what if you never meet a girl who is isn't for sure better than this one? you don't want one of those "she got away" things fucking with you for years down the road
this is a risk worth taking but you can still mitigate the dangers and the anxiety of what you are leaving behind by being proactive about it
>>17133321
Being proactive is key for me. I like to plan on critical decisions. I can find decent housing, do some job applications, revise my resume, and the like. I know lomg distance will kill me and i know breaking up with her will be heartless. Moving so far away to be with her seems like a rash decision but its better than voluntarily being emotionally ruined when i have a chance to make it work out well. I have about 2 months to plan it out, so ill try my best.
