You tried talking to her about it? Asking her why you two aren't as intimate with each other as you'd like to be?
You don't have to put it as brazenly as "Why aren't you putting out?" but you can ask if there's an unspoken problem or issue that's come between the two of you, causing this lack of sex. I wouldn't necessarily suggest you imply she's leading you on, but you can say you miss being intimate with her.

>>17130269
Well I've been with her for 6 years, and she's always been kinda frigid since the first day I met her, sure we have had sex hundreds of times in crazy places and great ways, but now it's dead. I would ask her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings as she has gotten upset in the past because of her lack of sex drive. don't suppose there's such medication that can help her with this ?

>>17130275
Better to discuss it than to have it build up into something bigger. There are a lot of things that affect a woman's sex drive. If she gets upset you need to talk with her about how important being intimate with you is and ways you can work it out. And then maybe think about medication if that is something both of you can agree to.

>>17130238

>so then the rest of the day I'm kinda expecting what she said without having to literally say 'so you know when you mentioned a blow job earlier' but it never happens..

So you don't even try to make it happen, you just wait for her to make the move? You don't have to say "remember what we talked about earlier" just touch her, kiss her, seduce her a bit and let it happen naturally

>>17130281
Trust me, I have started it like 85% of the time while I've been with her, lately I feel like I just can't get the motivation to start kissing and touching etc because I know even if we do start getting sexual deep down she doesn't really want to, she just does it for my sake, but she tells me she wishes she had that wanting feeling for sex but it rarely happens. Also when we do have sex she's tries hard to make out she wants it, but realistically I know she'd rather just not, and it makes me feel bad as well as herself... It's a difficult situation. She will literally say like 'let's do it this way' as if she likes it that way but we be both know it's the way that makes me cum the fastest so it's over quicker.

>>17130300
Not to be "that guy," but is there a possibility that she's cheating on you? There are only two times I've ran across this in my dating experience.

1. The girl had deep seated issues and didn't like having sex. Not her fault at all and I understood completely.

2. The girl was cheating on me. She would try and tease me/use sex to try and influence me for about a week, buy would never follow through. I asked around, and found out she was seeing a co worker on the side.

Other than those two examples, I can only say that from what I've heard, sex starts to die down the longer you're together. The proverbial "marriage sucks" meme.

Good luck, and I hope it pans out!

I've been with my gf 6 years as well and if anything she has become less physical, less confident in actually taking pleasure in having a body and less in touch with her own sexuality over the time we've been together despite us being fairly good communicators.

When we first started seeing one another she was generally up for anything, I'm talking 6 times a day most days for the first few months and daily for the first year or so. We were both fairly wild. These days we are fucking maybe three times a month?

We actually had a pretty huge talk about it earlier and basically it started off with her being completely convinced that she was absolutely physical, confident and involved at all times.

It took describing a few recent scenarios and asking her to tell me what was going on for her to kind of even acknowledge that everything wasn't absolutely perfect in every way.

Like the other night we were in bed and I was kissing her ass and she was telling me to stop. I asked her what was wrong and why did she want me to stop and she said it didn't feel right.

I asked if she liked having her butt kissed and being tickled, she should tell me if she doesn't and she said she did, but it just felt wrong. I was like ok, so I like it, you like it, but it is wrong?

She said yeah that seemed kind of stupid, she just was deciding that it wasn't allowed. I asked what for who and what possible benefit would it not be allowed if we both enjoy it and she said that she felt that it was like she didn't have permission to enjoy it. She didn't feel comfortable.

Like, you are warm, in bed, you've been wined and dined, we are both clean and comfortable and relaxed, but there is some rule in place where this isn't allowed? She said she thinks she hates herself and is telling herself she doesn't deserve it.

I can't fucking make any sense of it anyway. Why does it have to be so complex and intellectualised and over thought anyway?

>>17130359
I understand why you'd think that, I was waiting for someone to suggest cheating. But nahh she isn't cheating, we aren't kids

>>17130365
Because you, who are emotionally simple, are dealing with someone who is emotionally complex to the point where they are unsure what they want, even if they like it. There is such a thing as second-guessing one's own enjoyment for incredibly pointless reasons, such as personal interpretation of morality ("This is wrong" or "I shouldn't be doing this," yet without a reason beyond "it just feels wrong") or having somebody else dictate what is wrong and right (religious rhetoric, parental upbringings, stuff like that).
Respect the fact that your girlfriend doesn't want to do something, but at lease expect a better answer than she hates herself or doesn't deserve your attention. You can reassure her she is deserving of your attention, but it's more difficult to convince someone not to hate themselves, because it's little more than an irrational excuse for irrational behavior.

Personally, it sounds like she's the sort of person who needs some great, awe-inspiring moment of introspection to find motivation to do anything in their life, which is fucking annoying to deal with at best. Shower roses on her, sing her praises from the rooftops, whatever the fuck, just make her understand you appreciate her, and that she should appreciate herself more than her lazy ass is giving herself credit for.

>>17130281
He shouldn't have to. Responsible people that are committed to their partners should be able to remember such a simple thing like sharing each others bodies, especially if this has happened multiple times. Don't you think one of the times she dangled the offer in front of him she would have remembered "oh shit, I never follow through with this!"?

OP, it sucks, but here's what you need to do: Lay down the rules, explain what you want, and what you won't tolerate. Bring up how that's bullshit what she does. Secondly, if there is so much push back, if she is not willing to change EXACTLY what you have an issue with, dump her. I mean, I'm sorry but I've had plenty of relationship experience, and I'm promising you right now you need to be the one in control for a relationship to work. Women claim to want equal rights but that's just another way of filtering out the weaker males. You need to demonstrate that you have the confidence to (and listen to me very clearly) know what you want, demand what you want, and be very willing (because you are capable) to find it elsewhere - which you DEFINITELY CAN. Have confidence! If she won't change, leave. It sucks, but you WILL be happier. I fucking promise. If you are confused, just remember: You are probably more in love of you idea of her, than the real her.

I can't tell you how many women I've had wrapped around my finger because I've gotten old enough to not bother putting up with their bullshit.

>>17130408
>Shower roses on her, sing her praises from the rooftops, whatever the fuck, just make her understand you appreciate her, and that she should appreciate herself more than her lazy ass is giving herself credit for.

Wow.

Fuck. That. The power dynamics are clearly already skewed and you really think bowing to her is going to balance things? What cliche irrational examples btw.

Op... do mot do this. YOU are the fucking prize. She needs to put in work to have YOU. Reward those that deserve rewards. Your gf deserves no reward. Not until she gets her shit right.

>>17130365
>She said she thinks she hates herself and is telling herself she doesn't deserve it.
See, this right here is how females get away with shit no one else logically could. They pretend to be the victims while oppressing others. This is NOT a rare example of this kind of mentality. She wants to deny you and limit your options while also giving off the impressiin that she needs saving. It's brilliant because
1) She gets out of doing what you want to do
2) She absolves herself of any blame or guilt
3) It controls you into working harder and worrying about her - working harder for her to feel better.

Just imagine if Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling were asking her to do these things. Would she still say no? Probably not. So it's not HER that's incapable, it's YOU that she doesn't want to do it with.

Don't feel sorry for women, EVER, unless someone died or got hurt. They know what they are doing.

Unfortunately there is an extremely paradoxical conundrum that faces modern relationships. Everyone has been taught from birth that they aren't obligated to anyone, and what they feel at that moment is the most important thing. If your partner wants sex, and you don't, for instance, that's it. Your needs are paramount to theirs. However that puts you in a position where there is no room to meet in the middle of any argument, so the other party has no choice but to either accept that as absolute, or to leave, which in turn contributes to everyone feeling like they are disposable. If two people in a relationship can't argue constructively, then you really can't do anything except move on.

>>17130408
I can respect the fact she doesn't want to do something, but I'd ask in return that her choices are built from a consistent and rational position.

I'd hope that for her own sake she'd seek to understand and deconstruct her position in order to allow her to understand the drives and desires which truly motivate her and allow her to live in an authentic manner instead of succumbing to irrational and illogical emotional whims which satisfy neither of us and leave her feeling guilty and confused when the outcome was within her control and the scenario is actually pretty pleasant and favourable for her.

Like how many people never figure this shit out and go around feeling deprived and frustrated because they cannot figure out why something feels wrong, yet they never seek to make it feel right?

>>17130445
Well yeah, I feel slightly played by typing it out. Like feel sorry for me because I carry a huge burden, which nobody asked me to pick up, but don't focus upon that, focus upon this huge burden I'm struggling with and your seeming inability to help with it.

>>17130365
>She said she thinks she hates herself and is telling herself she doesn't deserve it.

My only advice, and I think this is a very important one.

Make her go to therapy.
This isn't even about your sexual frustration anymore. It's not healthy to think the way your girlfriend does and if she doesn't take action and take care of the deeply rooted problems which caused her to feel that way she'll sink into depression. Even suicide is possible over the years.
It's nothing impossible to overcome. Just be aware there are issues you need to not underestimate and you need to take care of.
Tell her that and good luck to both of you.

>>17130608
Forgot to mention this is coming form a femanon. And don't listen to all the other Bullshits the other frustrated anons have written. My advice is the only right one.

From the sound of it the spark in the relationship has been lost
Maybe you should talk to her about it
Express your feelings and see if there's a way you would both enjoy getting it back.
Toys can be a great start, fun lubes or games even if you're not 100% comfortable with toys.
Even maybe making an agreement with each other to try and keep up the physical side of the relationship going. Like a different position every day or other day or whatever.
Sometimes even just a romantic gesture can be enough to put her in the mood.

That's only really if the emotional and mental attraction are still there, if they're not then just move on and accept the loss. The end of sex in my relationships is usually the sign that the relationship is over for me, since the physical attraction is usually the last thing to diminish but that's just me. If you're both willing to put in the work this is an easily fixed problem, but you'll need to communicate.