Dude sounds like a bona fide nutcase. I would move on

Would you be sensitive to it if it happened to you?
If yes try to understand him
I bet it hurts like hell and its noteasy for him

Also 2 years thing, if you have a thing for lets say 1.8 years its 2 years even tho its anniversary is in 2 months

>>17129432
uh, dumbass, he's been saying it's been 2 years for 11months now, including on each of the following dates:
June 2015
November 2015
May 2016

>>17129430
i'm pretty fortunate not to have any experience of the death of loved ones, but i do know everyone copes differently. not sure if i can write his behaviour off as crazy just yet though.

>>17129432
what i mean is that i think he might feel offended if i pick apart and question the timeline he's given to me... like as if i don't trust what he's saying or questioning his memory.

i understand it must be extremely difficult... i do my best to be understanding.

>Also 2 years thing, if you have a thing for lets say 1.8 years its 2 years even tho its anniversary is in 2 months

i considered this too, especially around the time he's told me about how it would've been 2 years right before his birthday. i had thought that would mark the 2 years though since he had specifically pointed that out.

but now today marks 2 years... it makes little sense....

In recent history, I've dealt with several deaths of loved ones:

-my best friend (i found his dead body)

-my grandmother (i was talking to her every day at the time and was very close)

-my mother to brain cancer (i was incredibly close to my mother)

-my cat of ten years that i was incredibly attached to

i was able to get closure within a week or two of all those deaths and move on with letting any of them bother me again after that. And I'm a sensitive person, i cry plenty. But not over the death of the loved ones bc i was able to get closure (in the case of the humans it was with the funeral and burial and support of all our fellow friends and family...in the case of my cat, well, it's a cat). The only thing I wasn't able to get closure on was a gf i loved heavily for 5 years before we had a messy breakup and never talked again. Took me like 8 years to get over her and every girl i was with during that time i pretty much used bc i hadn't gotten over her yet

He's lying for attention and sympathy. He done played you for a fool ese

>>17129482
>>17129500
these don't make me feel very good... if you were in my position, you'd definitely feel like a dick for even considering that.

not to say it isn't possible or that you guys are being dicks. and it's not like i haven't considered dumping him. but it's just a difficult and complex situation for me to get out of.

he is a wonderful boyfriend and is very considerate of me. i do love him very much, and he is easily the best guy i've been with yet. but the weight of his grief for the death of his girlfriend is so hard to take sometimes.

i would feel so guilty to abandon him and i wouldn't feel like i could completely let him go either. although i realize, maybe he is just using me to fill a void. but it feels like he does genuinely love me too.

>>17129422
If he is as sad as you describe, it won't really matter whether it's been 1 year and 9 months or 2 years and 5 months. I could call every range in between 2 years, because I wouldn't want to think so much about the exact amount of time that's passed. Don't think about it too much, except if he still calls it 2 years in 2 years.

Other than that, if your relationship is a strong one you definitely should keep his back. This can strengthen your bond and he will thank you for this when he's over his loss. Unless he's a dick.

>>17129528
It's not mutually exclusive that he loves you and is using you. And 'using you' isn't inherently wrong, everyone gets support from their partners and you said that he is good to you, so it's not like he's using you while bringing nothing else to the table.

You might have a lot to support him through, but if you can and if he can move on one day the relationship will likely be much better for it. I'd suggest you try to gently push him to counselling or a support group. He probably hasn't had many opportunities to grieve properly. He was "just" a boyfriend, no matter how serious and committed he and his late girlfriend were and he's likely been missing a lot of the support he would get had it, for instance, been a spouse that had died instead. Make it clear to him you're still willing to be there for him in any capacity you already are, and that you just think he needs more people he can talk to about it.

Inb4 he murdered her himself, not to make you suspicious OP
It just sounds creepy
Listen to "Paint it black" by Rolling Stones, very much on point

>>17129563
>I could call every range in between 2 years, because I wouldn't want to think so much about the exact amount of time that's passed. Don't think about it too much, except if he still calls it 2 years in 2 years.

that's a good point, thank you. i guess the shock that its only been a year (if all this is accurate) since her passing that i've gotten with him shook me up a little and made me worry.

i guess i'll see what happens.

>>17129571
>I'd suggest you try to gently push him to counselling or a support group.

this is pretty difficult for him, given his work schedule... he is also due for a surgery which he's been having a difficult time to book, again due to his work schedule.

i'll try to suggest this anyway, because i do really think it would help him. but i'm not sure if he will really take this suggestion... he often puts things like this off.

>>17129422
cut him some slack

>>17129422
How did you confirm the death was real without confirming the death date?

>>17129879
his friends and family would mention about her passing to me without me or him bringing it up.

>>17129889
If you're on decent terms with them, express curiosity to them about the details.

>>17129889
Ask one of them maybe. Just say you're confused about the date because he's said a few times "Now it's been 2 years." Tell them you know it's a sensitive subject so you didn't want to ask him directly, but you do want to know the date so you can be mindful of it.

>>17129896
>>17129908
that's a good idea, thanks. i'll have to do that next time...