Baby steps that work up to being more comfortable with it. It's not just like someone can tell you a few sentences and it'll undo everything. It's a slow process that's going to take a while. Do something slightly out of your comfort zone more and more and keep expanding what you're comfortable with. Eventually, you'll work up to sexy stuff.

bumping this, I feel the exact same way op. My therapist says it has to do with an inferiority complex, at least in my case

>>17128624
>Baby steps that work up to being more comfortable with it.

Can I get some examples of this? I am able to approach and start convos but I dont have a clue of telling a girl that I like her in any romantic way. I feel that its wrong. Its hard to say.

>>17128635

Well, you don't really say stuff like "I like you romantically, want to be my girlfriend?" Not really how dating works unless you're like a robot or something. At what point exactly do you start to feel uncomfortable with a women? Is it mostly a physical thing? Is it like when a topic about sex or something comes up?

Try to come up with something that makes you feel a out of your comfort zone, but it's still something you feel like you could manage to try to to do more without seeming psychotic. Like if you're nervous about asking a girl out on a date, ask a friend out for coffee. Or ask some ugly she-beast that can have a nice conversation out for coffee just as friends. That way by the time you ask someone you actually care about out for something like that, it won't seem as bad.

Or if physical contact with women bothers you, try to do something NORMAL more. Like shake hands when you meet someone, a quick small hug good bye for friends, stuff like that. It's all baby steps that help you do things you want to do down the line.

>>17128655

I think youre mistaking this as that I'm being nervous around women in general or have difficulty reading social cues and whatnot. Thats not my issue, I can do those things easily.

>At what point exactly do you start to feel uncomfortable with a women? Is it mostly a physical thing? Is it like when a topic about sex or something comes up?

Ive had female freinds tell me all about their sex lives. The issue is when a girl starts to show interest in me and wants to move things forward that I withdraw.

>Like if you're nervous about asking a girl out on a date

Its not being nervous that stops me, that she will reject or wont like me or whatever. its a feeling that me expressing those feelings for a girl is wrong in itself or is an insult to her. Thats the feeling i cannot shake.

>Or if physical contact with women bothers you, try to do something NORMAL more. Like shake hands when you meet someone, a quick small hug good bye for friends, stuff like that. It's all baby steps that help you do things you want to do down the line.

I can do these things. Its only an issue when there is a sexual or romantic implication attatched. Like I said I already have had platonic relationships with women and can engage in them easily.

>>17128687

Hmm, guess I did misread it. How do you feel about yourself? Like the other anon said, something like low self esteem might be it. Like you said you don't seem to feel worthy of the love of a woman. Women are just people too. They have insecurities and flaws and everything too.

Or is it the act of being rejected that is scary even though you feel fine about yourself? Rejection does suck, but rejection really just saves you the time of pursuing someone you don't belong with anyway. Just try to do more low risk types of things. Like asking out people that are outside of your typical zone of friends. Or try online dating and send messages to people. That way you get rejected, only it's not as in your face as real life.

>>17128722
I think it may mostly be a self-esteem issue.

>Like you said you don't seem to feel worthy of the love of a woman.

Yeah, that is very how much I feel.

>Women are just people too. They have insecurities and flaws and everything too.

Rationally this makes perfect sense and I understand, but I still cannot change my emotions about it. I strongly feel that trying to get romantically involved with any women will in the long run be bad for her, I'm afraid that I'll poison her emotionally and spiritually (because thats what bad people do and I feel like Im a bad person).

I think that explains my aversion to both romance and sexuality.

Rejection to me isnt a bad thing either; i think that its just the womans self-defense mechanism to ward of people like me.

Overall, my feelings are not rational, and am looking for outside help because a part of me has always beleived that this way of thinking is correct.

awhgu sorry for this. this is reaching blog-post levels

>>17128742

You'll have to work on yourself and overcome these feelings that you're a bad person before you can truly be involved with someone romantically. I can't really say how to overcome those feelings, because I don't really know where they come from and I'm obviously not a therapist or psychiatrist. They don't really seem to stem from physical insecurities as you haven't brought that up. Just your previous actions or things that have happened to you in the past have made you think that you're a bad person? If this is all just "in your head" and you don't really have any bad things you've done, you probably should talk with someone about it. That kind of shit is hard as hell to work through by yourself.

If it's that you've done bad things in the past (or stuff that you feel is bad), you'll have to come to terms with that and learn to forgive yourself. Or learn that you're not the person you were. You're the person you're becoming. You can't change what you've done, but you can change what you do going forward. The past isn't your future.

Just know that you can get through whatever this is. You definitely deserve some nice lady by your side. You've been a good guy in these internet ramblings at least.

>>17128760
It seems that I have no choice but to see a therapist about this. It sucks, this will probably take years to fix. Oh well, thanks for sticking through.

>>17128797
If you're still here, just wanna say that I stumbled upon this thread LITERALLY thinking about how this is a problem for me and looking for something on /adv/ to ease my mind (at least temporarily).

It's relieving to read your thoughts and I just want to let you know that you're not alone in this, so take whatever solace in that that you can.
I've had a couple of encounters where my insecurities have fucked things up, at least from an internal perspective. I think the only solution is like what was said before, where you've got to try to stop seeing yourself in such a bad light. One thing that may help with that is remembering that everyone is their own person, with their own life, own problems, and that chances are strong in that nobody gives a shit about how you see yourself (not in a bad way, it's just that we're all a little caught up in our own heads; some more than others)

I'm trying to remember this more frequently, but it's definitely hard to actually apply. I'm not as outgoing as you make yourself to be, but I know the only answer is to put your ass to the flame.

I'll be going out sometime this week to try to experiment with the idea, and you're giving me some motivation to actually go through with it. I hope I can do the same for you, just remember that if you're getting any psychological resistance, that someone else from this Bangladeshi crochet board is also gonna be grinding through it