Am I insane? Am I being cheated on? Am I not even in a relationship?
The woman that I love to spend all my time with and have sex with and plan my future with and go on vacations with, wanted me to leave her alone tonight so she could cuddle on the couch with her long time guy friend.
She started by telling me she has an exam tomorrow for finals and she needed to study. I have graduated from college and have a full time job but I also have hobbies like reading that are quiet so I'm not some distracting bothersome lump who doesn't understand college life.
I had just got off a full day of work where I was on my feet for 9 hours without a single break of any kind, it was 8:15PM when I left work and called the woman I am in love with to tell her I was coming over to pick up my computer since she wanted me to stay away from her tonight and sleep on my own.
She put sandwich stuff in front of me and I made dinner from it but before I had even taken off my shoes or felt relaxed at all, she told me I had to leave before her study partner showed up, specifically she said, before "she" shows up. I was curious because she said she wanted to be alone and her excuse was that I was distracting.
Before I could even get half way through the sandwich her study partner had already shown up, it was Luis, her guy friend, the same guy who was at her house all of a sudden the day she told me to go running and working out on my own and that later we would shower together, but we didn't shower together because out of the blue, Luis was there.
I quickly ate my dinner and packed up to start leaving the way she, the woman I love, demanded that I leave. He made a joke about me not wanting to study too, I responded by saying, I actually did want to study but I was being kicked out. She then told me to stay if I wanted. I then proceeded to read and go over some paperwork I needed to get around to doing.
(to be continued)
>>17128492
You haven't even finished, but various parts of this story sound fishy.
>she said, before "she" shows up
So she has no qualms with lying to your face.
>Before I could even get half way through the sandwich her study partner had already shown up, it was Luis, her guy friend, the same guy who was at her house all of a sudden the day she told me to go running and working out on my own
That's weird.
(continued)
Mind you when I sat down to eat there was a table next to the couch she was sitting on and a lonely chair on the other side of the table. She was sitting on one side and had her papers on the other side. Before when I tried to gather her things up to give to her or not sit on, she told me not to, she also wouldn't move the papers over to let me sit this time, she made me sit by myself in a chair on the other side of the table from her.
When Luis entered the house she made room for him and went out of her way to get everything for him, when I ask where anything is, I get a demeaning lecture about how helpless I am.
There we are studying all three of us together with me by myself and Luis on the couch with the girl that I love and she is cuddling up to him and moving things out of their way to she can get closer to him. All the while I am by myself. He starts blaring music and she won't even let me choose music in the car without a fight. And they keep chit chatting about random crap with each other never once even acknowledging that I am in the room.
Then it becomes 11:30PM and all of a sudden I am being told to leave by her and I was curious again, "Is he leaving too or is he spending the night here? Why do I need to leave right now if he is only here to study and his shoes are now off because he isn't ready to leave at all?" I was told I was then making things awkward. Fuck right I am making it awkward, it feels like I am making it awkward for this guy to fuck the woman that I love and says that she cares about me that I am being selfish when I feel neglected by her when other men are around. When she refuses to let me call her my girlfriend, when she calls me her friend, when she calls Luis her friend, when I have to fuck her with a condom on and I am her friend.
I have already been packed up to go, understanding from her that she wanted to wind things down, but he is still there, she expects me to be okay with her winding down with another man?
>>17128517
>When she refuses to let me call her my girlfriend, when she calls me her friend, when she calls Luis her friend, when I have to fuck her with a condom on and I am her friend.
Uh... It sounds to me like you're not in a relationship. Doesn't matter if you love her or not, but she clearly doesn't feel for you in that way. Sounds like you're being used, friendo.
I take back >>17128504
You are not together. This sounds completely normal between a girl and an overly-clingy friends-with-benefits. Not that what she's doing isn't shitty, but you're expecting way too much. She clearly likes the Luis guy more.
You're FWB and clinging to her. Just because you love her and think about a future together it doesn't mean she does. From that sounds of things she doesn't think very much of you at all.
If you can't keep feelings out of it then remove yourself from the situation and stop seeing her.
(continued)
Eventually he gets his shoes on and gets ready to leave, she even unplugs his phone charger for him and everything, after I had to do everything myself and not fast enough for her. They hug and he walks home, she gives me a hug and doesn't even tell me good bye or anything.
When I get home I sent a text to her, that I am home safe and I told her "sleep well", thinking she was also worried about me and wanting someone to care for her and tell her good night. She never replied.
I took a shower and worked out a little to try and pass out and see her tomorrow morning, fresh but I still felt like puking on everything until I die. But I was too curious. I drove by her house and saw her bedroom light was still on, well after I sent her the text, well enough time for him to walk back to her house and fuck her for an hour, I drove by an hour later and the light was off then but why the fuck am I expected to leave before him? Why is it normal for him to spend the night with her? Why is he just a friend and I am just a friend and she refuses to let me call her my girlfriend and she sometimes tells me she loves me but asks me why when I tell it to her.
Story is done. I completely understand if I am crazy, selfish and jealous because that's what she tells me and she tells me she wants me to be more confident and but it's hard to when things like this happen. She thinks I want all her time but I don't, it just seems like if I don't entertain her and take up her time, some other man will. Maybe I am selfish but to me it seems like if any other man wants anything from her, I am nothing. I feel completely lost, I don't want to be alone anymore but this doesn't feel right and I know leaving is the easy answer but does anything ever get better that way?
(finished)
>>17128540
OP, this really sucks. But you need to cut this person out of your life. What you want and what she wants are two very different things. You want a monogamous, clingy girlfriend, a mirror of yourself, that will appreciate you for who you are. She wants to flirt, sleep around, and not take relationships seriously. Let her go, because she doesn't love you in the way that you love her.
>>17128492
>>17128517
>>17128540
>/adv/ is the easiest board to troll
>>17128550
And when she tells me she doesn't want to sleep around with other people? And that she isn't the kind of girl to sleep around? And when she flicks me in the ear if I ever mention a friend of mine who was a girl? Not to mention when she brags about the same girl also wanting to have sex with her. Is she also lying and manipulating me or am I just not understanding the relationship?
>>17128568
This is my real life. This is what happened to me last night. It's been 30 minutes since I drove by her house again to see the light was off.
>>17128568
Why would it be a troll? I've had a handful of delusional, lovesick friends that sound just like OP.
>>17128575
>And when she tells me she doesn't want to sleep around with other people? And that she isn't the kind of girl to sleep around? And when she flicks me in the ear if I ever mention a friend of mine who was a girl? Not to mention when she brags about the same girl also wanting to have sex with her. Is she also lying and manipulating me or am I just not understanding the relationship?
I don't know what the hell is going on here, but you're not in a relationship with this person. She may or may not be sleeping around, I don't know. But she's certainly shopping around for someone, and that Luis guy is probably one of those people. Sometimes you have to completely ignore what someone says and pay attention to their actions.
>>17128587
Should I try to outdo him? For the most part we spend a lot of our time together. Am I just being to available to her? But I worry if I don't see her, she will see someone else. One time her classmate did a song and dance for her in order to ask her to a dance, she of course ended our weekend plans in order to go to the dance with him and said I was insane for being jealous about that. She even lied to me and said she couldn't go until the very night it happened.
>>17128587
Do I challenge him to a sword fight?
>>17128621
Yes
>>17128626
Is it better to do this without her knowing, that way there is no chance of her defending him?
>>17128492
You're being cucked. Eject from that "relationship" asap
>>17128597
>Should I try to outdo him?
You can't, because you're only proving to her how insecure you are. It's not attractive.
>But I worry if I don't see her, she will see someone else.
She'll see other people regardless.
>>17128677
What should I do then, act like nothing happened and expect her to treat me the same way she treats him?
I was going to say that she's definitely cheating on you but then I realized that the two of you haven't even agreed on dating each other. Or have you? Sure sounds like you haven't.
Never assume things. Have a serious talk with her and find out whether or not she wants to date you, which to me sounds like a "no" since she doesn't want to be called your girlfriend.
Noteworthy: she put in some effort in lying to you about her study partner. That's weird to me. If she were just fucking around (literally having sex with everyone, no strings attached) she would've straight up told you she's going to fuck Luis.
Yet she lied. Maybe that's because she's considered really dating you, or she wants you to think that way? Or maybe you're jealous and annoying and she doesn't want you to get in the way?
Fuck, man, I don't know. It sounds like a complicated situation. Either way, you should talk to her and find out what exactly she thinks of your relationship. Tell her how you feel. She's got some explaining to do, don't let her off the hook. She could be one of those polyamorous cunts who fuck everyone and claim to "love" all of them but that wouldn't explain why you're not allowed to do the same.
Last night she invited me to breakfast, now all of a sudden she is too tired. I asked if we were okay but she said I don't listen or trust her. Am I being manipulated or am I crazy?
>>17129307
Manipulated.
