I can't live with the crippling regret of wasting the last 6 years of my life
My late teens are early twenties may as well have not happened. I had a shitty high school experience, and a mediocre college experience. This was supposed to be "the best time of my life."
It has taken me 6 years to just barely get a worthless degree in a field I don't want to be in. During my time in college, I made/had no friends, no girls, not connections/networking, and no experiences. If I wasn't in class or at my degree's society club, I was sitting alone in my apartment doing absolutely nothing worthwhile.
I keep reflecting at my life and thinking, "is this really it" when will my life begin.
>>17128344
High school is not the best time of your life. Best time is 28-38. Money, decent-looking ladies, and stability. You got time, OP.
Well what are you going to do about it? Mope around some more or grow a pair? Life's largely what you make it.
You can either sit and regret everything and have your life stagnate, or you can realise that the past is the past and move on
>>17128352
this
I spent my twenties pretty much working for nothing as an apprentice after I decided art school was retarded. Was very unhappy. Put my time in, moved to a bigger town, spent a couple of years finding a good job. Eventually found a boyfriend and fell in love. I can't even begin to try and hold on to how much I appreciate how happy I am now. Life begins in your thirties for some people. Forties for some others too. You have lots of time. Everything will be ok
>>17128352
>>17128352
I hope so. I feel I've failed at the most basic of things. Wouldn't I have shown some sort of promise by now?
I'm 25 and I still live at home. I'm a fucking man child. My friends have traveled to different countries, had 3-4 different corporate jobs and master's degrees by now and here I am being a loser.
I'm having trouble just getting a job. Everyday I think about ending it.
>>17128362
I'll stop moping. But what am I supposed to do from here? No one seems to have the answers. I just want some sombelence of a functional normal life
Pic related
>>17128406
if you're in USA, don't feel too bad. the system started getting set up that way 8 years ago.
housing prices suck. wages stagnant. The ACA passed and extended being able to stay on parents health coverage, high college costs got higher
the only one of these things thats your fault is the college part.
and yes you have debt, but don't be too much shit on your experiences. you never know how they're going to serve you, so learn what you can from them, even if all they do is teach you what kind of person you are or dont want to be
>>17128422
>>17128422
Are we the lost generation?
>>17128344
Nigga you fucked up. Best start applying for soul-breaking, shitty jobs. You'll be regretting them for the next 20 to 30 years.
https://youtu.be/9PB4r_yVuSI
>>17128417
Get off your computer, go outside and figure it out; That's how the rest of us did it. There isn't a cheat code to life, get outside and try something. If you fail, so fucking what? You've found one way not to do something, so go find the right way to do it.
You make your own opportunities anon, they're not going to simply fall into your lap.
And no, you're not the lost generation, you're the first generation who believe nothing is their fault and the reason you haven't got your corporate job / gf / car / apartment / whatever is because he system is geared against you and there's nothing that can be done to solve it. The problem is you're too scared to fail, because you don't know how to.
>>17128710
>Get off your computer, go outside and figure it out;
...kind of fucking advice is that?
Reminds me of that scene in Taxi Driver:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDgXeYlpbOE
OP people like us in their late 20s with no social skills, no networks and no real work experience outside of a dead end job are fucked.
>>17128682
>How about a black russian?
Funny.
>>17128352
>28-38
Oh fuck right off, your prime years are 21-30.
It's the period when you have few responsibilities, when you have time, when you have peak physicality, when you have that last bit of naivety and care-freeness before you start settling down.
>>17128344
This is it OP, you got screwed by God. Take it up with him.
>>17128767
I'm not some neckbeard autist, I have social skills, I can banter with people, i have a girlfriend.
I did decent in school. 3.5 GPA. I don't have much work experience though and it's been incredibly difficult getting that first job.
The whole "college is the best time of your life" is a cultural myth. People look back on this time fondly because you remember more from this period in your life, also because you have more new experiences. And you are going to remember that one crazy night of drinking, not the six other nights that week where you were a bit bored and it was just another day. Loneliness is very common among college students and young people tend to overanalyze and have low self esteem.
Whenever it is researched, old people report most happiness and life satisfaction. Here is an example but this is not exactly the only study http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-35471624
This is because people have an immature idea of happiness. They think being happy means fucking around and doing crazy shit, while day to day happiness has much more to do with being at peace with yourself and enjoying the little things.
Also OP, not to be harsh but do you really want to waste more of your life by letting this regret get in the way? In twenty years you'll look back on your current age and feel that you were still extremely young and carefree compared to having a family and everything, even if it does not feel that way now. All you can really do is adapt a different mindset.
>>17128864
Are you OP? Was I specifically talking to you about having no friends/gf/social skills/education?
Cunt.
leo gura's vids helped me a lot
>>17128869
checked ;^)
>>17128869
>Whenever it is researched, old people report most happiness and life satisfaction.
I guess cos they've reached a point where they feel completed/accomplished/etc and can look back on their lives. (Don't take it out of context, I mean their entire lives not just their 20s.)
>Loneliness is very common among college students and young people tend to overanalyze and have low self esteem.
Man, you're on 4chan, you must know that a chunk of anons are socially isolated.
>>17128918
In part, yeah, but I also think it's because you have a diminishing in responsibilities (even more extreme than being in your twenties, if you were a serious student) paired up with not giving a fuck anymore what people think of them and not dealing with their youthful insecurities.
Sure, but anons are hardly a proper sample. I meant that in general a lot of students are lonely, even if they do experience a lot of things that OP never has. (And with that I don't mean to argue that they don't have it better, just that college being the time of your life is hardly accurate.)
>>17128869
Thanks anon that was enlightening
>Also OP, not to be harsh but do you really want to waste more of your life by letting this regret get in the way?
I don't, but I don't actually know what to "do" in life now. I'm directionless, completely lost. I don't know where to go from here.
How old are you? Because these feels are very particular to a quarter life crisis type of thing. Maybe you can provide some advice if you've been there before.
School was the only thing I had going for me and the only real goal I was working towards. It had structure. I thought perhaps I'd get an entry level job. Now that I'm done I don't what to do from here. I spend most of my days at home because the only thing I did was study and focus on grades and be involved in clubs and activities to get a good job,
>>17128899
Sorry anon I didn't mean for that to sound cunty. It was in reference to the "go outside" guy you were quoting.
I relate a lot to you anon. There's always a ton of people telling you platitudes like go outside. I feel only a few people(like you) truly understand what we're going through...what's your situation?
>>17128991
>What's going on?
Nothing. I just go to work and come back, video games and sleep fills the gaps. 26, no real friends, no gf, have a degree in maths from 2011 that's collecting dust.
I suppose my situation is sorta unique in 4chan, in that I live in a rapidly gentrifying area. Used to be on fire in the 90s and now is starting to be full of hipsters and yuppies and students. And I'm walking alongside them in my shabby uniform for an underpaid job.
>>17129025
>>17129025
>Nothing. I just go to work and come back, video games and sleep fills the gaps. 26, no real friends, no gf, have a degree in maths from 2011 that's collecting dust.
I feel this will be me in a year. I recommend watching syndoche New York or a serious man if you're into films. The first one is very relatable thematically.
It's hard to find meaning in life, a passion or something to strive for. I spend my days like you with escapism on vidya or movies or the Internet to distract from the incredible emptiness.
Math is fairly useful, and you seem incredibly intelligent...why is your degree collecting dust?
I'm sure there is a good reason.
Also it fucking sucks walking around hipsters who are living the time of their life with their hot girlfrienss and their uptight cliques gentrifying your neighborhood with bullshit resturants. I'm very envious of all those trust fund babies.Chicago?
>>17129051
>Math is fairly useful, and you seem incredibly intelligent...why is your degree collecting dust?
>I'm sure there is a good reason.
Used to classed as an unachieved a lot at school but I wouldn't class myself as particular intelligent. It's mainly collecting dust cos it's a 2.2 and I didn't bother applying.
>Chicago?
London.
>>17129025
I feel a yearning to "do something" but I have not figured out what that thing is and the things I have in my head are not really possible to do
>>17129071
>London
>2.2
Holyshit anon are you me?
any advice?!
>>17129104
What was your degree? Don't have any advice but I'm curious to know.
For me highschool was basically like prison where I was bullied and bored out of my fucking mind.
College was a vacuous and draining experience because I didn't really give a shit about my course, I had no interest in living communally or going to parties, and it was hard to make connections when there was no consistent meeting point for people (like you get at work).
The period immediately after college was the worst time of my life. I was 100% completely alone for the first time in my life. No family or friends. I did a job where I got paid peanuts and I was bullied like crazy by the foreign staff there.
But now I'm living with a girl I like and I am self-employed. I had thought I had been depressed for much of my life, but the truth is I was just incredibly lonely and situations that didn't suit my personality. I no longer get particularly down about anything and I enjoy life a hell of a lot more.
1/3
There is zero logic to wasting time and energy on something you cannot change OP. No amount of reflection is going to change the past. None. And you know what, if you had a chance to live it over, you know what would happen? Almost the exact same thing. If you got a second chance almost the exact thing would thing would happen.
Why? Your actions and how you lived life are as a result of your habits and your mindsets. The above is the difference between someone sailing through life pointlessly and somebody sailing through life smashing their goals one by one. And no offence OP, but it doesn't seem like you're any better off now mentally than you were in the last 6 years. Which leads me to believe that if you had a chance to do it over, you'd make the same mistakes simply because you never fixed the cause of your problems. Your mindset.
When you're thinking of the past you're not taking into account the problems and the circumstances that surrounded each choice. You look at in a filtered light that fails to show the whys of all your choices. You didn't ask out a girl? You didn't have enough confidence and you didn't have enough willpower. This isn't the result of the last 6 years, it's the result of everything that lead up to that point, every single precursor to that action. The time you didn't go through with something, the time you didn't put yourself out more etc. Everything thing that happened in those 6 years are a culmination of everything that came before. All the little habits you built, all the mindsets you formed etc. And so when an experience came your way, how you reacted to that experienced depended on the above habits and mindsets.
>>17129681
2/3
So keeping all of the above in mind, what can you do to take control of your life and change? First of all, you need to become more self aware. Start journalling and reflect and analyse your past and your present. Not like you're doing now, you won't be reflecting on it in a "I'm a fucking moron ;_;" type of way, but constructively, learn from it. You'll identify the whys of your action and figure out how you react to certain things. This is important because once you identify your problems, you can start work on fixing them.
Habits and mindsets is what got you into this mess and habits and mindsets are what are going to get you out. ACtions are what change your mindsets, actions are what change your character. You probably know this but you're struggling to get anything done. Well, luckily for you OP habits exist. Habits are actions independent of motivation and willpower. Once something becomes a habit, it's almost autopilot. So even 6 hours of study can become a complete nonissue if you know how to form habits. So obviously, for a lazy individual, habits are ideal. I'm going to post two resources on it, one is a short read on how habit loops work and are formed and the second resource is a link to a TedTalk that's a pretty effective habit forming strategy for lazy people.
>Read this first
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/11/20/power-of-habits/
>Watch this second
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKUJxjn-R8
These two won't fix you, but they're a start.
These won't fix you, but it will begin your path to improvement. There's a lot more you need to learn. But these will get you started.
>>17129684
3/3
Anyway, my final post.
I'm in a Discord chat full of people from Chans who want to improve. There a wide variety of people with a wide variety of problems. One person has been a hikki for 8 years, another person is a 30 year old kissless virgin while another person is trying to start a business. The thing that is in common between everyone is that everyone in it wants to improve. The point of the chat is to support each other on the journey to improvement with resources and advice. There's also the "birds of a feather flock together" element. If you hang around on /r9k/ you'll become more negative. If you hang around a chat with everyone that wants to improve, you'll pick up on that.
If you're interested in joining, just say so and I'll post the invite link to it. Offer goes out to everyone, if you're into self improvement and you want to join a community like the above, just say so.
There are pros and cons of joining.
Pros:
>Exposed to new improvement ideas
>Exposed to a new perspective on an issue you're struggling with
>Exposed to improvement resources that you weren't aware of before
>Advice and support for an issue you are struggling with
>Birds of a feather flock together, surrounded by people who want to improve just as much as you
>Positive environment
Cons:
>Potential to be a massive time sink
>Potential for shitposting or other cancer to occasionally pop up
>Not always improvement tier conversations
>/pol/ tier conversations and views [Although there is a specific channel for this, so you may avoid it entirely]
>May provide no benefit to you whatsoever
>>17128791
>your prime years are 21-30.
if you are some uneducated 9-5 drone who'll be chained down with a wife, house and kids by 25 maybe
>>17129681
>>17129684
>>17129688
Not OP but make me a part of your secret society.
>>17129767
Here you go.
https://discord.gg/0g3Wk6IMl2m0sKT2
As soon as you join post in #improvement.
Say you're age, your goals and how progress is currently doing. Make sure you do this. [And anyone else who wants to join]
Where's that dude that posts the crying baby pic?
>>17129499
What do you do for work?
Thanks anon that was inspiring
> college and high school are the best years meme
The only people who think this are retards who dropped out/got shit degrees and manage a walmart department making shit money
>Why? Your actions and how you lived life are as a result of your habits and your mindsets. The above is the difference between someone sailing through life pointlessly and somebody sailing through life smashing their goals one by one. And no offence OP, but it doesn't seem like you're any better off now mentally than you were in the last 6 years. Which leads me to believe that if you had a chance to do it over, you'd make the same mistakes simply because you never fixed the cause of your problems. Your mindset
This is very true. I've felt like I've floated through a third of my life not really living it. I can't even make good choices, and even when I'm aware of this I don't know how to change. I don't even know what to do next now that there's no "track" for me to be on. I don't know what my interests are, have no hobbies, and nothing to really look forward too.
>When you're thinking of the past you're not taking into account the problems and the circumstances that surrounded each choice....All the little habits you built, all the mindsets you formed etc. And so when an experience came your way, how you reacted to that experienced depended on the above habits and mindsets
this is illuminating anon. I try, sometimes, but nothing seems to go my way. I'm incredibly insecure, have zero belief in myself, constantly feel inferior. I was rejected and bullied a lot as a good and my mindset is incredibly toxic.
