How long does it take to get over someone?
I dated a girl for 5 months. She dumped me. It's been 4 months.
After the breakup, I started going to therapy. I quintipled the amount of friends I had, took her off all social media, I got really into both my job and my major, expanded my hobbies, went on a trip to Europe, had a one night stand and a couple dates, and got back into regularly seeing my family and old friends.
And yet, I still think of her many times a day. It totally kills me. Getting over a 4-year relationship I had wasn't this painful. We had the best summer of our lives together (her words, not mine), we helped each other through a ton of rough shit in the fall. Then she said that she met a guy one weekend and had more fun with him in one weekend going downtown than in our entire relationship, and that she should dump me before she does so much as hug him. Then she added that "you were always there for me, the sex was amazing, but you don't get it and you never will. So bye for good, just get out of my life, never talk to me again."
She didn't even end up dating the guy, she's just alone now, I've heard about her twice from two different friends. What the fuck?
It kills me. It killed my confidence. I feel like a wreck.
She cheated on you and instead of owning up to it she thought it was better for you to think the feelings disappeared
damn i thought my situation was rough.
good luck op
>>17128309
She's an evil bitch man, I know you love her but you love an evil bitch. If she could do that to you, she wasn't for you. You are also dealing with disappointment and betrayal from a person you love, so no wonder you are struggling.
>>17128318
She didn't cheat on me though. I've seen too many relationships that ended like this (hell, I dumped my first girlfriend when things got unbearable) and the dumper was accused of cheating. She was frank about pretty much everything and anything the whole time I knew her.
I wish she cheated. I really do. I wish I had more reasons to hate her other than what she said.
>>17128350
Yeah I am, is there any way to get over it?
>>17128309
Back when I was in college I had a girl do something very similar to me. Met her when I was 20 and she was 18. Had an amazing summer together and then she out of the blue transferred to a different school 15 minutes away for the fall semester and told me she never wanted to see or talk to me again.
It hurt really, really bad. I kind of know how you feel. The conclusion I came to is this: You'll never truly know why she did that to you. It will NEVER make sense. The one thing you do know is that she was NOT the one for you. Honestly, 4 months really isn't that long of a time for a bad break up. Give it time, but don't let it effect your confidence. People who do that sort of thing to other people are the ones with the issues. A normal human being doesn't say stuff like that to the person they had the best summer of their life with.
There's no quick path to getting over it. Everyone takes different amounts of time. Seeing other girls is a good start though.
>>17128309
My gf of two years dumped me a month ago. I was depressed and mopey for about a week.
It was about some bullshit how we were probably going to break up anyway and that she needed time to find herself. I put off grad school for this chick. Fuck her and fuck your ex-gf.
You won't forget her, but the friend you knew is gone.
Listen to the song For No One by The Beatles. Distill its essence, brew the words in your mind, and move on.
>>17128432
I really appreciate your words of kindness. I just don't know if I should start seeing other girls. The one night stand, the dates, and even just the girls I flirt with don't come close to measuring up. I can easily find a beautiful girl, and an intelligent girl, but someone with dream and drive? This girl was in college before she was 16, she hunted and drifted cars, won a national fashion design award in high school, could drink anyone under the table with hard whiskey, and had drive and a dream to change the world. She insisted on trying every fetish in bed, and could match my stamina and fuck for hours. We talked about philosophy and people for hours, and she got me into robots and electronics.
>>17128444
I was that way when I ended a relationship of many years too, we had actually lived together. But the relationship had overstayed its welcome and we both knew it. This one happened so fast and it blindsided me.
>>17128444
Also, thanks for the song. I really appreciate it. I've forgotten how much I liked the Beatles.
If it makes you feel better OP, I'm in the same boat. Met a girl, went out for 2 months, took her virginity, it was the best time of my life. She split with me last month after becoming cold and distant out of nowhere. Like you I can say with 99% certainty she's not cheating, as far as I can tell she's alone most of the time.
I have a date with a cute girl this week but I just kind of lie there thinking about my ex and blaming myself. The lack of answers is maddening. At least if they just said what the problem is you'd have some self improvement to reflect upon.
Maybe it's not comfort in itself, but at least if this is common enough that it happens to a lot of guys it should be common enough for you to find happiness again in the near future.
>>17128464
Did you ever ask her the reason?
