How do you make new friends or find people that like the same things as you?
Especially when you're socially disabled and have anxiety problems.
Come on guys, I'm tired of being alone.
>>17126412
>>17126525
first and foremost, stop blaming social disability and anxiety problems. i have 'anxiety problems' but i do things anyway becuase i want to. its caused minor brain damage recently, but i bounced back cuz i want to do stuff. when you throw out these conditions like 'especially when you're soiall disabled and have anxiety problems'
you are essentialyl saying that you refuse to do normal methods or anything that sounds uncomfortable and that we should find a magic way for you to meet new people. let go of that. nothing great was ever done due to a lack of fear. it was done despite fear. you have more fear than most people about social situations. so be braver than most people.
the following advice was written up for meeting girls, but it works REALLY well for meeting new friends in general. just disregard the notes specific to hitting on women.
>>17126412
>>17126532
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
>>17126532
>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!
and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.
Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.
meant to post this first:
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
then this:
>>17126540
Not OP but:
>>17126547
>and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.
False. There's nothing about my interest anywhere near me, and I don't have $5 to start my own group.
>>17126570
>and i dont have 5 dollars to start my own group.
than maybe focus on fixing that problem first.
all good information.
>but how do I initiate conversation or have the other person do it?
I ride the train alot to school and see some decent guys that look interesting. but all I do is glance at them and they do the same.
The most I've gotten from a stranger was when a high school girl smiled at me because she liked my shirt.
I'm in college and everyone there stays with their superior white group ( I'm hispanic)
>>17126715
>>17126715
most people are open minded enough to want to make friends. and if they arent, its a bullet dodged so you can walk away knowing that your life is exactly the same as it was ten minutes ago. people just tend to be comfortable in their lives. they may not be seeking friends, but they are likely open to friends. you just got to be a match. if someone isnt a match you did not fail the friend test. you just arent a match.
that being said, the best way to initiate conversation is to intitiate. you'd be surprised how easy it is if you just do it. ive been more proactivei n this sense for two years and i still get anxious and scared and nervous but i just do it anyway cuz im a thrill seeker.
>last week
>sitting on bus
>big ole black guy
>kinda wanna chat cuz bored of 4chan on the phone
>at some points something happens on the bus
>i pull out headpgones ask what happened
>he explains
>from there just keep talking
>great convo
didnt trade numbers but was fun
>week before that
>sit on bus
>asian guy with a turtle backpack
>Ask what the hell is up with that
>says he likes TMNT
>say were mortal enemies cuz i voted for the space rangers in their crossover episode
>we talk nerddom
>we are absolute opposites in the nerd spectrum
>still have a nice chat
>two weeks before that
>some guy walks on
>ugly ass 3/10 of a human being neckbeard, weird eye looking in the wrong direction
>notice he has FLCL shirt
>Talk to him about it
>we hit it off
>good convo
>about 2 months ago
>on bus
>bored
>guy sits down next to me
>ask him where hes headed
>hit it off
>hes new to town surprised how friendly people are on busses (just me so far)
>give him my card
>we go hiking and do dinner sometimes
i actually just texted this guy this morning.
if you are on a train the best thing you can start with is
>hey hows it going, where you headed?
that sort of thing. worse case scenario they just go back to their phone.
Also not OP but at 26 it feels like everyone has overtaken me and my interests never really matched my peers while I was growing up, so I never really met any other nerds/geeks.
And the kicker is I've very occasionally come across other geeks and they're both socially competent and know their shit.
There's nothing like losing at your own game.
