my girlfriend is chinese, born in china and lived there for ~20ish years until heading abroad to the west for university
I really fucking love her, she is amazing and ridiculously intelligent/attractive
I found out that when she was in china, she was with a parasitic expat who basically used her like a sex toy, leading her on and making her love him even though she knew he would never love him back, while he also used other women
he pretty much went nuclear on her and I know there's not really any way she could resist him due to chinese culture not teaching good sexual practices and proper self-respect and restraint.
she was desperate to have western interaction due to her interest with the west and lack of companionship who understood her and who were interesting to her since all the people around here were steeped in stifling chinese culture
he was much older, maybe 40 while she was 20, had money like she wasn't used to, and he treated her to things in exchange for sex
do you guys think its unreasonable for me to be bothered by this, or is it something that is excusable because of all the cultural and situational issues
thinking about him fucking her and using her disgusts me but I don't know how she could have resisted it
I am sorry for the news but I think that she is already broken girl you should move on.
>>17125695
Your bitch a ho nigga!
And you vouchin fo dat ho!
Damn nigga!
>>17125695
>but I don't know how she could have resisted it
Bait
>>17125715
honestly not bait
the way I think about it is this
she came from a culture that practices essentially what is abstinence only until marriage exclusively and never learned anything about healthy sex and relationships
everything she learned was either from her own stifling chinese culture, tv, or these expats who are usually fucked up people just after sex
>>17125727
Dude, I really think she had a say in all of this. She WANTED to be used.
>>17125695
>cucked by jackie chad
kek
>>17125735
maybe you're right. I think I should talk to her about it more
I just asked her to come by later today, what do you guys think I should say
>>17125740
Let's start by clarifying how do you feel about this.
>>17125754
are you asking me to clarify to you or suggesting I clarify to her, clarifying to her is the first thing I'm going to do
>>17125695
she knew what she was doing
>treated her to things in exchange for sex
she was fine giving up her body for materialistic things.
sorry to say, but you're a cuck anon.
>>17125762
Clarify to you. How do you really feel about this? Do you think you can look past it? How does this change your perception of her?
You don't need to answer me or anything; but you should think about that for a while before talking to her.
>>17125776
I mean I may as well answer to you
I feel disgusted by it
I have no idea if I can look past it, its fine when I'm with her in person but when she isn't here it becomes a big issue
it lowers my opinion of her and makes me question the kind of girl that she is
>>17125764
fuck man I dont know, I definitely can see it the way you do but I can see the way she might have felt too
>>17125781
I'm amazed you don't see the pattern here. She turned west and now you're it. If you're gone she'll bounce to another guy from the west again and again. Here ex knew this and took full advantage. He knew she would never be in love with him nor will she ever be in love with you.
>>17125805
she told me that she was deeply in love with him and desperately wanted him to love her but knew he would never love her back
>>17125695
>I don't know how she could have resisted it
By not wanting it you dumbass. Stop lying to yourself, she was okay with it.
you're pathetic
>>17125737
Holy fuck
>>17125812
I guess I'll ask her if she was okay with it or not
>>17125695
She could have said no, rape is taken very very seriously in China. If she didn't want it then she could have easily gotten out of the situation. If you're girlfriend really is that intelligent, then the worst that guy is guilty of is causal manipulation and even then she was aware of what was going on and at least passively consenting.
The kind of shit you're describing happens all the fucking time in more western cultures as well. If it upsets you then you should probably lock yourself in a room for the rest of your life and never attempt contact with the outside world again.
>>17126276
yeah it happens all the time in the west but it really doesn't seem that unreasonable for me to not be okay with it and to not want to be with that kind of person, I dated several girls before this who would never let themselves become a fuckbuddy for somebody 20 years older than themselves
whether you're ok with it or not, this happens plenty
especially with the more submissive asian grills
if you want a 'pure' one you'd have to go there yourself
then you'd inevitably do what most guys want to do, which was what that older dude did
people do it because it's fun and it makes them feel better
dunno how young you people are and whether or not you're planning to stay together, but if that's the point then stuff like this shouldn't matter too much; depends what she's like
word of advice though: she really won't like it when you'll hold it against her and make her feel guilty about it; it will make you seem quite insecure
try to be ok with the option of her liking it before you talk to her
if she's into it (which she most likely is) it just means you'll have a lot of fun together anon
In case this isn't bait, as a chinese woman I can give some insight.
She was 20, completely sheltered, and you're right that in china you do not learn about what a healthy relationship is. they put value on a stable home.income which a lot of people take to mean, money trumps love. girls are expected to be quiet and standing up for yourself isn't really a value there (more about 'keeping the peace' ). I was in china recently and asked some guy politely to stop cursing out loud in public because it was bothering kids, and all the chinese bystanders stared at me in awe.
How is your gf now? when you're 20 you do stupid things and i'd hope she realizes how stupid it was for her to be in that situation. It's definitely understandable considering she was stuck in an abusive relationship but at least managed to get out. It just really depends on how she is now. I'd just talk to her about it and get her to explain what her life was like back then before making any decisions
Kill yourself
>>17126395
okay your insight here would be extremely valuable I will answer any questions you have
first off she has been in 3 relationships
the first was with a girl, and high school age
the second was with a boy, they had sex 5 times over 3 years and it seemed like he probably was semi abusive/controlling to her in that he forced her to go on the pill
she has isuses with her mother who is disappointed in her for not being womanly enough
after she broke up with her boyfriend she seemed to really change and all kinds of things were different, she became much more obsessed with the west
she spent a lot of time trying to find foreigners and discovered that almost all of them wanted sex which was not what she was interested in
then there's the guy who she did have sex with and she says she did love, who is described in the above post
she is coming over in maybe 10-30 minutes
Pandering over a third world woman - you must be pathetic.
>>17126405
>hurrrrr durrrr I'm a moron
>>17126428
you're fat, pasty virgin.
>these are the girls desperate white dudes go after
I have nothing against fucking girls from other races, but what's white guys and choosing absolutely gutter, bottom of the barrel asian girls
>>17126914
Exactly. Why go for fast food when u have steak at home? Faggots like op just makes himself look desperate.
>>17125695
All women are inherently sluts, any other details are just that, details.
Normally you'd ask yourself... if she was that bothered by the guy treating her bad and using her as a sex toy wouldn't she just leave? Just open your eyes already op, she wanted to be treated like a slut but it's trying to justify her actions by painting the other man in a bad light. Remember that there are always other sidess to her story
