I am running out of reasons to hold on.
I hurt my ankle 2 weeks ago so I'm off work, my dog died a week ago, a day after my birthday and my parents are getting divorced.
Nothing I do is good enough for my father, I live with my parents and tonight he went off on me saying I need to watch my back and be knocked down a peg or my mother will kick me out. My mother overheard and said she would do no such thing and she has no issue with me and said shes at the end of her rope with him and that they'll sell everything and go their separate ways.
Everything that comes out of my fathers mouth is hurtful, nothing is ever good enough, I'm never good enough. He said i dont treat him with respect but I try to, its just hard when everything out of his mouth makes me want to kill myself a little bit more.
I'm currently sitting outside in the dark so when he walks around in the house he wont see me.
I just dont know what to do, I keep holding on and thinking "tomorrow will be better, it gets better" yet everyday theres something else.
I have a boyfriend and I don't know how it would affect him if I passed away, I know he tries to comfort me but he isnt used to it so its easier not to involve him.
I'm worried my mothers going to kill herself and I'm worried how badly my death would affect her.
Being an only child is one of the things thats helping me hold on, but if this is how the next 60 years is going to be, continuously being knocked back down and just shit on in everything I try to do I just cant do it.
I want to cry all the time. I want to sleep all the time. I tried moving out and my ex left me with the lease 2 weeks into moving out. I was lonely and out 6k+ from that. I dont have any friends.
Can someone please tell me how to deal with this?
I'm drowning.
As suspected noone here cares. In reality why would strangers care.
I've got my answer, thank you for helping me.
Well, I think the first thing you need to do is release all of that energy you're killing yourself trying to hold back. You probably don't even notice how tense you are at this point. Usually the best way to do this is to exhaust yourself physically. A lot of people run, but that might be a problem with your ankle. You could still lift, or do body weight exercises though. Physical activities allow you to translate that emotional stress and pressure into physical energy.
Once you're so tired that you can't move, then you should eat and meditate for a bit. Just breath and relax your body. Lie down, don't think about anything, just feel your chest expand and contract with your breathing. Nice and deep. Once you're nice and relaxed, just start looking back at things and reflecting on what has happened. Let your emotion out, and just let everything sink in. Try to let yourself stand in the feet of your mother and father. Don't worry too much about what they're saying, but why they're saying it.
>>17125354
Just as your emotional and physical stress is driving you to irrationality, so it's happening with your mother and father.
I'm not sure what's going on between your parents, but it sounds like your mother really needs you right now. She needs her child to be there, to tell her that she's loved, and that she always will be.
It's not easy to be strong, it's never easy. That's why we respect the strong. You need to be strong right now though. If not for yourself, for your mother. You have the power to get through this, and doing so will make you even stronger.
>>17125351
damn right you have your answer...
why should we care about a fucking needy drama queen?
my opinion?
fuck your father.
tell him to fuck off and help you grow into a productive human being or just fuck off out of your life completely ... no need for his negativity.
that and grow the fuck up.
you must be some kind of stupid to expect life to continue stangnet for 60 fucking years.... you lucky you even have fucking parents or a roof over your head for that matter.
also this website is for 18+ go somewhere else wit your preteen fucking problems.
as alwasy OP is 100% a fucking faggot.
>>17125337
Dude you waited 20 mins
eat dick kill yourself
>>17125379
This guy knows what's up
Op your a piece of shit.
>>17125337
/adv/ is one of the slower boards, don't freak out because you have no answer in 30 mins, jeeze
Also :
>I have someone who loves me, I have no idea how it would affect him if I died
Seriously OP ? Are you that deluded ?
>>17125337
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NfeTavdiY8
