>cheated on ex
>naturally she broke up with me
>want to get back together
>we still talk
>naturally she gets upset at me at the drop of a hat
Is there any chance at all? She has said if there is a chance it's not very high but the fact that we still talk is giving me false hope.
It was a one time incident and I've spent a while recognizing what led me to behave like that.
The only problem is I'm feeling impatient and every time I try to rush her forgiving me it VALIDLY pisses her off and just deepens the wound.
But she still talks to me. Every single day.
Advice?
She likes you, maybe some day she would get back together with you!
But the fact is you cheated on her and she will never forgive you or trust you again because of that. Even if she breaks down and you snag her back it won't end well, she'll always harbour those feelings of hurt and betrayal and it'll end up eventually destroying the relationship.
For the best of you both, don't get back together.
Hmmm mistakes happen especially if youre young. It will be hard to get her to trust you again, understandably so. Basically youre paying the price for your fuck up and you seem angry about it, didnt you learn as a child that there are consequences for fucking up? Just do the time like everyone else. She talks to you everyday so it seems like she'll get over it, you just have to understand that she isnt necessarily playing games qith you for the sake of it. You put her in a bad spot so she needs to reevaluate you and her philosophies of relationships. It takes time to work things like this out. Like I said before, just do the time diligently and patiently, prove that you mean you're sorry.
>>17124435
I don't know if this helps my case, but it wasn't even PIV intercourse. Drunk heavy petting and I told her almost immediately.
I feel conflicted because for one I hate myself that I did this to her and 2 I hate how I made her feel.
She has told me some days she feels like she'll be able to forgive me. And it's confusing about the trust because she /still/comes to me fr emotional support and her secrets.
>>17124452
> She talks to you everyday so it seems like she'll get over it, you just have to understand that she isnt necessarily playing games qith you for the sake of it.
That's what I tell myself anyway. My logic is that
if she truly and honestly hated me and didn't see a chance at us getting back togehter, we wouldn't be talking every. single. day.
Not to mention like I fucking retard I keep bringing up getting back together and she still talks to me even if that talk makes her mad and remembers the hurt
>>17124493
That's true to an extent but it sounds like she's just emotionally dependant on you and probably not still in love with you.
You can't rush someone into forgiving. You're still selfish as you were when you cheated on her by feeling impatient. Even if you do get back together it won't be the same because she'll always have you cheating on the back of her mind
>>17124503
I know I'm being incredibly selfish. She means an awful lot to me and I hate that I keep trying to rush/pressure the forgiveness.
Do you think I should just go no contact then? If she's dependent on me and I still have these feelings for her but all signs point to it's not working out
>>17124435
Someone arrest this Anon, he's hitting an innocent nail on its head.
OP, she will get back with you in time. But she'll never trust you again. When you go out to a party without her she will believe you are cheating on her. When you say you're going to hang out with the lads she will believe you're out cheating on her. When you say you're busy with work or an assignment or whatever she will believe you're cheating on her. She'll want to go through your phone. Whether she tries to do this depends on how sneaky she can be, but she'll really fucking want to. And all this shame and fear and anxiety and resentment will build, and build, and build, and build, until she's spending all of her time bitching at you perhaps without even understanding why and you'll be there scratching your head thinking, "I thought we put this behind us?"
You broke the trust. Without the trust there is no relationship. Remain friends if you want. Remain fuckbuddies if you can hack it. But abandon all hope of having a functional steady relationship.
>>17124511
I think cutting contact is just about the worst thing you could do if your goal is to get back together. I would do this: have a rational conversation if possible. People make mistakes, you got it out of your system. Tell her that you understand it is difficult to forgive yourself but you want to get back together because such and such. And her keeping communication is confusing but you understand the difficulty of forgiveness and such and such. However you kind of need to know. You cant wait forever in this purgatory, its unhealthy for both of you. Avoid structuring it like an ultimatum even though it pretty much is. Also avoid saying it wasnt even sex. Also try to avoid as many hollow promises as possible, you've proven that your word isnt much good.
>>17124544
>>17124525
Also keep this in mind. Their thesis is right 9/10 times
>trying to pressure someone to forgive you
Why? Don't you understand what betrayal is?
>>17124525
>>17124544
Thank you guys. I'll see what I can do.
>>17124561
I do understand. I'm just a selfish fucking fool and my thought process is very one track goal oriented.
ergo
>she lists problems X Y Z
>I want to fix X Y Z as fast as possible
>I can't show X Y Z is fixed unless she lets me show her
>she doesn't let me show her currently
>problems feel unfixed to me
>>17124422
I tried to hook up with a girl last summer, but she pushed me away because she wanted to get back with her ex boyfriend. He not only cheated on her, but he physically beat her until she was bloody and bruised all over.
Some women have severely low self esteem and sense of worth and will entertain going back with a scummy guys, while others seem to think that a man can have enough redeeming qualities to be given another chance. If your girl is low on self esteem, I would advise against getting back with her. For both of your sakes. But, do what you want.
>>17124638
You can't fix your character. You have no hope of a real relationship and will only fuck her up if you keep trying.
![YZN4oUOy[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HgGzxgR.jpg "YZN4oUOy[1].jpg")
>>17124644
It had to have stung when she told you you were less of an appealing option than the guy who cheated on and beats her.
>>17124663
Of course I can fix my character. It will take work and it will be hard. It's not impossible.
>>17124674
>>17124674
Yeah, but also sort of a wake up call. If I'm honest with myself, I hardly acted like a man. I acted like a shy little boy who doesn't know how to act around girls. Pathetic.
