My girlfriend of 8 months left me around a month ago for her ex. I allowed them to hang out occasionally because I was afraid she would leave me if I didn't. Anyways one day while arguing with her about not spending enough time with me she left me for him. I've sort of been thrown into this gut wrenching depression sense then.
I feel as if I put so much more into the relationship then she did and I honestly did everything for her. I'm not even trying to sound like a white knight. So my main problems right now that have thrown me into this depression is that I feel like it's all my fault for letting them hang out and be together when I didn't really want them to in the first place and the fact that she left me after I was being her perfect man. Doing EVERYTHING for her that she wanted. Like I feel like these months of giving her everything she wanted was for nothing. She won't even talk to me now. To put it in relatable nerd terms I feel like I've lost in a multiplayer game where I am against someone who is nowhere near my skill level but only won because they are hacking. (I hope you can forgive me for that analogy lol)
Anyways, how the hell do I deal with the fact that she's gone? How do I stop thinking about her every hour of every day because sadly that's been my reality for the past month?
(p.s. I know some of you will ask why I even care that she's gone if I put in so much more into the relationship. The answer is I have no clue. I love her but don't know why. And I don't REALLY care that she's gone, I more care about the fact that I did everything for her and still lost her in the end. Like I need better closure as it was completely unfair to have lost her in the first place)
Hey, It's OP again.
I forgot to mention that I could easily get some pretty good revenge on her that would definitely end the relationship she's currently in. It's 100% legal and has nothing to do with her personal information/nudes being leaked. I've decided to go against going through with it for various reasons though. The main ones being I love her and don't want to hurt her even though she's hurt me and I don't really want to stoop to that level.
The right thing to do is NOT get revenge right?
>>17122959
I think you should OP. It seems like youve gotten cucked big time.
>>17122959
The concept of being the "better" person is bullshit. Harm those who've harmed you. There's no karma or sin, you're nothing more than chemistry deluding itself into consciousness.
Get satisfaction out of your life however you can find it before it ends.
>>17122959
Do what you wanna, but you're going to look like the bitter, spiteful ex that you are. And if you loved her, you wouldn't want to hurt her - do you really want to stoop down to her level?
Disclaimer: I really don't care what you do, just giving you the other side of the picture
>>17122940
You're an idiot if you think that she wasn't fucking or was at least a bit touchy with the ex. You lost because you allowed yourself to be cheated that way.
You fell for the meme of trusting women and not being a real man who is jealous and controlling.
You lowered your defenses and tolerated shitty behaviour and it backfired on you. Next time never allow any girl alone time with her ex, never allow her to hang out with male friends at weird hours and make sure to check up on her actions once in a while.
>>17122959
>If you kill your enemies you lose
What you said was something equaly retarded. Loving and caring for a person who not only never cared about you but played you for a fool is idiotic.
If it bothered you, you should have put your foot down and told her no. Be more possessive if you have to.
I think a lot of men nowadays don't want say "no" to their woman because he thinks she'll stop liking him or something.
You compared yourself to a white knight where you tried to be the "perfect" man, but it backfired because you gave her too much leniency. Look up the term "yes man" and read around a little bit.
Google doesn't do share links so I'll just post a lmgtfy link
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=yes+man+relationship
>>17122959
Give in to your greed. You deserve it. She never loved you.
>>17123128 here
>>17123102 is right in a sense. You let your guard down and I wouldn't be surprised if her ex "took" her back in a sense.
There is nothing wrong with putting your foot down and telling her no, that she can't see him anymore. You can even reassure her with the "I'm your man now the past is done" shit.
>>17123088
>>17123093
>>17123099
>>17123102
>>17123105
>>17123128
>>17123133
>>17123152
Okay, It was stupid to not have mentioned this in the first place because it's very important to the story at hand. Sorry again.
Anyways my girlfriend and I's relationship has been MOSTLY online the past 8 months because we are both in college in different states. (We did meet in real life)
Her new boyfriend/ex is also in another state, so I was NOT cucked and they haven't seen each other in person for years. I didn't see it as that big of a deal as to say no because they were only playing games together online.
Once again sorry for not mentioning this in the first place as I know this is extremely important.
>>17123133
Also I've decided to go against the revenge. There's no point. It gains nothing to me and I'm 99% sure I'll feel worse after I do it.
>>17123189
oh shit I see now, now I know why you made that analogy earlier. this is some "gamer" drama shit isn't it?
>>17123218
No. I knew it was a stupid analogy but hopefully it helped drive my point lol. I want to make it clear we met in real life and knew each other for a few months in real life before dating. We headed off to college and the relationship was mostly online around the 1 and a half month mark in the relationship due to being so far apart.
>>17123223
Okay that makes sense. I'm not sure then, this is a weird situation. You can't be very controlling online from another state, but the other guy does it quite well. My guess is that because she's more loyal to him, she respects him more. Probably because he was more assertive with his intentions.
That being said, the best medicine is to go out and do you. Meet new people and hopefully new women
>>17123237
It is a very strange situation indeed lol
This is the first relationship I've really been in where I feel like I've truly loved the other person so this is REALLY hitting me hard. Like I said in the OP I can't ever stop thinking about her. I do it every hour of every day. This will stop right? Even if I never really get over it I'll be able to be happy eventually right? Like I'm not crazy am I?
>>17123243
Nah it's normal. It's still fairly fresh that's why. But you can't dwell on it because that'll make it worse you know? Just get out more and clear out your mind.
>>17123252
That's the problem though, I've tried hanging out with friends and playing games, watching anime. You know? Shit I enjoy doing but it really doesn't make a difference because after all the laughing is over I think about them together and it kills me inside.
>>17123102
Lol reading this made me realize that my own ex probably cheated on me with his then ex. Didn't want them hanging out either. Same shit happened. That's why I just don't bother with people who give their ex the time of day. Don't care if it sounds silly or whatever but my current SO and I completely agree with this statement and intact are getting married. So OP listen to this piece of advice especially carefully for future relationships.
I guess it is because you feel that if you give your all, you will get to have that which you desire, and now you have been shown a different view on things.
I'm really sorry you had to go through this. Investing so much time and effort and love into someone only to see it come to nothing is indeed shattering.
And yes, don't get revenge. You'll just have more added to your plate and suffer over that as well.
Try writing her a letter and then tossing it in the bin. Let your emotions out, grieve over this loss. This way you'll cleanse yourself and be able to heal. Maybe take up a hobby if you can or watch Technicolor films as they have a therapeutic effect.
Thanks for all the replies guys. I really needed someone to talk to this about so it means a lot you took the time to read my poorly written post(s).
In the end I will not get revenge on her and I will try my best to move on and make better choices in future relationships.
One last question; I've had an issue over the past few weeks of trying to text her/call her when it's quite obvious she doesn't want to talk to me. Should I give it a rest? When will I know the time is right to talk to her for some possible closure if that's necessary at all?
>>17122959
Revenge is always right.
>>17122940
I dont mean to be rude, dude. But I think she left you because of your grammar.
>>17123368
Typed it up pretty quickly bro. Just wanted to get it out there.
>>17122940
he didnt hack the game he was replaying a saved game.
yes you got cucked big time the closure youre looking for aint going to come.
best thing for you to do is find some other bitch and bang her brains out and get it out of your system. then you put on your bigboy pants and find somebody new.
forget revenge, just delete them both from your life completely that ship has long left the harbour...
>>17123377
>the best thing for you to do is use another person just like OP's ex used him
ok....
>>17123377
Does it even count when it comes to cluster B bitches? Not OP here.
