The semester ended today. I sent this to one of my best friends, been crushing on her all year. She hasn't responded, it's been two hours. Should I expect the worst? She's seen a post in a group chat since I sent it.
>>17120957
>She's seen a post in a group chat since I sent it.
She's not going to reply, she's going to ignore it and avoid you.
>>17120961
Cool, thanks anon
>>17120961
depends on what kind of girl she is
I remember when I was 16 I told this girl I liked her over a message, and she didn't respond for a long time because she was nervous and excited.
Just wait it out OP, it's on her to say yes or no, you don't have to say anything else
99.99% chance she's not interested. Don't send any more texts, just leave it at that and pretend you never said anything. Sending more just makes it more awkward and with time they sometimes forget and you can salvage the friendship if you REALLY want to.
You need to flirt with a girl, not come out and tell her you like her without making you like her first.
>>17120957
Unfortunately, you goofed up in two ways.
One, you were extremely wishy washy and beta with your confession. You never say "it's cool if you don't like me back".
Secondly, you were better off doing this in person. You never confess over the phone, and especially via text
>>17120971
Being good friends for a year and getting really close to someone is gonna get you much farther than "ayy babe lookin good today, lemme buy you a drink, you're cute, you have a nice smile, wanna go out?" with a stranger.
>>17120971
She's one of my best friends. I've been flirting with her for a while and she seemed receptive, but she's really hard to read
>>17120977
Neither of those are flirting and neither of those will make her want a relationship with you.
I pretty autistic
>>17120978
If you've flirted with her before - and enough for her to pick up on it and give you an indication that she's receptive, then you might not have cause to worry. But if she hasn't been receptive to it (or even realized you've done it) then you do. Regardless of the case, going forward word confessions in a less self-doubting way. Expressing self-doubt gives cause for other people to doubt you as well. Even better than a confession would be doing something about it. "The more I've gotten to know you the more I find we click really well, would you like to go on a date with me?" or similar.
>>17120989
Thanks dude, by far best response.
Ill admit, I meant to tell her in person today, but could never get her alone. I won't see her all summer, and absolutely NEEDED to get some sort of closure.
You're right. Shouldn't have added the part about it being cool if she didn't feel the same way, that was vaguely faggy
Not looking good frienderinos
Still no response, she saw another post in our group chat
Fuck
>>17120957
You've been crushing with someone for a whole year, didnt have the courage to tell them face to face, waited for the semester to end then decided to send a measly text like that...Ha...Hahaha...hahahahahahahahaha
>>17121048
You asked for it. She sees you as a coward (which you are)
>>17120957
It's possible that she's just surprisingly shy when it comes to stuff like this. I've had similar situations happen to me, but I don't respond to the other person until they actually tell me they like me in person. If I mean that much to someone, I don't take well to getting something like this via text.
>>17121048
>>17121068
not OP but what would someone do in this situation?
Part of the motivation for them being best friends was the whole relationship thing, won\t the friendship pretty much fall apart now?
>>17121048
man, you have tried.
good job
>>17121077
If that's your only reason for being friends with someone, and not because they're generally just an awesome friend that you like to hang out with, then yes. The rejected party will either be happy with the friendship, immediately sever ties, or they'll slowly drift apart.
>>17121077
First of all, you don't wait a year to tell someone you're interested in them. Attraction is an instantaneous thing whether you want to admit it or not, you probably liked the person you liked way before you even decided to be their friend.
Second, you don't ask someone out, especially someone you know via text. This may seem the "norm" right now cause of apps like tinder but it almost never goes down well. Do it in person, at least that way you show more courage, instead of sending, "I love you please love me back" then throwing your phone away waiting for a response, the fact that he waited till the end of the semester makes this even worse.
And finally, you can be best friends with someone and eventually fall in love, but this is such a rare and lottery way to go about things cause first of, most guys just pretend to be friends with a girl hoping they'll be rewarded and others don't pretend but also hope they'll be rewarded, if you'd been man enough, you'd have asked her out as earliest as possible, that way if she said no, you'd be fine cause you're not attached that much to her anyway, and you can now be friends but in the back of her mind she'll know you were interested in her and an opportunity might arise. Springing it out that you've always loved her is pretty manipulative and she doesn't feel the same makes her out to be the villain when in reality you're the one who should have been more forward earlier.
>>17121094
it's not pretending to like someone hoping they get rewarded, it's more like the euphoric effect of the crush keeping you interacting with her but lowkey, like a drug
you still have fun in the social interactions, but if you were with a cool male friend you would probably have more fun, but you want a GF so you're in this
plus, you don't want to be hanging out with someone you think is perfect for you but rejected you, that's uncomfortable as fuck
Yeah
Idk where to go from here.
I feel like shit, almost positive the only reason is that I'm not attractive
What a great feeling
>>17121094
>>17121122
also, what if you didnt want to ask her out immediately? what if you didn't really think you liked her enough for a relationship until later
>>17121130
only thing left to do is desensitize yourself to rejection by asking out a bunch of girls
after that, you won't give a fuck anymore and everything will feel as inconsequential as if time froze for everyone except you
It's okay OP, you tried, thats the important part. If you ask once you can ask again with a different girl until you find one. Try and be more confident though. I know it's dumb but it's a major turn off if you aren't confidant.
>>17120957
Why do people do this?
Make a move in person or something.
At least be somewhat confident.
You literally phrased this like you assumed she wasn't into you.
Learn from this. Don't do it again.
If you like a girl, kiss her or something. Don't try and talk her into dating you.
>>17121160
Nah, a girl either likes you or she doesn't. Maybe if they were on first impressions I'd agree with you, but in this case where they're 'best friends' it wouldn't have mattered
>>17120961
>She's seen a post in a group chat since I sent it.
of course she did see it. everyone sees their texts. to some you respond quickly for others you take your time. just be patient and give her a break. foesnt mean anything so far
>>17120957
i was gonna say shes not sure but if she was in group chat then she thinks youre cringey
>>17120957
My God, doesn't ANYBODY ever talk to anybody else face to face any more?
A message like that, out of nowhere, is creepy as hell. A human conversation might be a little embarrassing, but at least it would be real.
Has she actually even given any indication she's into you?
>>17121048
Reply with "Sorry sent that to the wrong person"
>>17121407
This, kek.
You fucked up. Don't ever do this.
Don't EVER tell a girl you like her until you KNOW she likes you. Even then, don't TELL HER, make a MOVE on her. Go out and do something with her, make out with her. WAIT FOR HER TO TELL YOU SHE LIKES YOU.
I don't know why guys don't know this shit. A few simple rules will prevent all these kinds of situations. NO GIRL HAS EVER STARTED LIKING A GUY FRIEND BECAUSE HE TOLD HER HE LIKED HER. it just doesn't happen.
It's like saying "i told the cop i'd shoot him if he gave me a ticket i hope he doesn't give me a ticket" learn how girls work and never do this shit again.
Stay inside for a while dude and don't go anywhere near her.
>>17121475
>WAIT FOR HER TO TELL YOU SHE LIKES YOU
Wouldn't this take ages though?
>>17121475
>learn how girls work
x_x
OP I am in no place to talk since I am bad with da girls but I think you missed the boat. You should have talked to her in person, once the term ended so did you window of opportunity.
And waiting till the last few days to talk to her is bad too and give grim chances. Should have been talking/getting to know her for weeks or longer. I am learning from my mistakes with failure with a girl I know.
-don't get to know her just to date her, get to know her to be her friend
->>17121475 probably this is the next step
I did badly but at least not as bad as you :^)
>>17120957
>been crushing on her all year
You idiot. You wait until the year ends to tell her?
You fucking beta idiot piece if faggot SHIT.
Yes expect the worst. You just threw your platonic friendship into the trash. She's taking a long time because she doesn't want to deal with that shit and/or she needs time to figure out how to soften the blow when she tells you "thanks, but no thanks, friendo! :^)"
You would have had a good chance had you told her in the first two months. But you had to pussy out so bad that you wait and lie... LIE to yourself and to her that you had nothing worth letting her know.
You blew it. Go dig a grave, dump your feelings for her in there, grieve, and then move on. Next girl you 'crush' on, you tell her within two months of getting her phone number that you're into her. Tell her via phone call or in person. Don't text her shit that important, okay? That diminishes its sentiment, like when you break up with someone via text. Don't do it.
Stop being a fucking idiot.
>>17121077
>Part of the motivation for them being best friends was the whole relationship thing
Then you were never really friends. Stop being a pathetic Nice Guy. Being someone's friend is not a means of working your way up from the mail room to a relationship. It's not a promotion, it's a completely different animal.
You're just leading people on when you pretend to be their friend in hopes of sneaking your way up the coitus ladder, and you deserve every savvy girl that uses you.
>>17121475
>WAIT FOR HER TO TELL YOU SHE LIKES YOU.
Never going to happen. Girls aren't taught to do this, they're taught to sit and look pretty until someone asks them out. If someone isn't hitting on them, the assumption is that there's no attraction, and that she'd therefore only make a fool of herself by making her own attraction known.
>NO GIRL HAS EVER STARTED LIKING A GUY FRIEND BECAUSE HE TOLD HER HE LIKED HER. it just doesn't happen.
This is a sort of reasonable point. Once a valuable friendship has been established, anyone will generally be more inclined to stick with the safe status quo than risk the friendship and their friend's feelings by 'seeing how it goes' when they don't already share those feelings.
But when you've already got an established close friendship, it inevitably gets messy. And the two of you probably trust each other enough to just talk about it openly come what may rather than suddenly trying to sneakily woo one another, that's awkward as fuck. Acceptable for casual friends/acquaintances though.
>>17121048
Congratulations OP, you just became a little stronger.
>>17121155
>you tried, thats the important part.
He didn't try. He sat on his hands for a year and sent a cowardly text, he couldn't even do it in person. This behavior should not be encouraged.
>>17121048
why is this planet so cruel
>>17121407
this
OP here
I dunno where to go from here. I'm not that attractive, I have weird interests (avant garde music, mtg), I'm kinda tall I guess
I just have a lot of trouble finding girls that even give me the time of day
>>17121725
>Being someone's friend is not a means of working your way up from the mail room to a relationship. It's not a promotion, it's a completely different animal.
Hilarious as fuck since girls are always saying "I like to be friends first with a guy before dating, tee hee".
>>17120957
If it makes you feel better OP, I did literally the exact same thing last night to the point where I thought this was my text for a minute. She responded though.
>>17121475
I mean, this isn't entirely wrong, but it's also not exactly right either.
>>17121048
new phone who dis?
>>17121160
>If you like a girl, kiss her or something. Don't try and talk her into dating you.
This would solve 99% of the problems that pass through /adv/, but these guys just aren't having it.
Also this >>17121475 and this >>17121725
>>17121048
lol "one of my best friends." Hope you don't believe that nonsense either OP. Chances are this girl wouldn't so much as wake up an hour earlier than usual to help you out if your very life depended on it. Stop wasting your time "befriending" girls and learn how to play them.
For simple proof, tell her everything's cool and see how long it takes for your "best friend" to initiate the next conversation.
>>17122948
Go read the Book of Pook. Its free online somewere. Find it. Download it. Absorb it. Live it. Doesn't matter what interests you're into, if you know the fundamentals of what makes a guy attractive to girls you'll do fine.
>>17124065
Honestly, we're really close. We've both been through some shit, I've been really down lately and she's talked to me and encouraged me or w/e
I was almost certain she wasn't into me if we're being honest. I just needed closure
>>17120961
Not gonna lie, that last line kinda kills it.
>"you click with me like no one else does"
That little tidbit makes you sound like
-you've said it to someone else/ the whole thing is a copypasta
-you're desperate. I don't really know how to explain it, but it doesn't give her a subtle, socially acceptable way to back out or decline without hurting your feelings. Plus, it left you a little too open for awkwardness.
>>17121742
Honestly, I've always been the first to say "I like you".
I don't know - the guys I dated flirted with me and eventually got physical at some point (one kissed me, one cuddled me), but I was the first to really SAY it.
Confessing your feelings just feels wrong, I am a big fan of making a move and flirting. Gets you all worked up.
>>17121407
>>17122948
Lift.
