My dad left my mom and I when i was very young and in the past few years he's been trying to be a part of my life.
Today was my college graduation and he just called and tried to talk to me. I hung up on him.
Idk I just feel very weird about it all. He's never been in my life before and now he's trying to come back and assume some authority figure over me just because I'm genetically related to him? This probably sounds childish as all fuck, but i just don't feel like talking to him or letting him "back in" despite all my family saying that I should.
What do you all think?
>>17120423
That you don't even know the guy and you're already making assumptions about him. That shows your lack of empathy.
>>17120432
well he didn't show much empathy for my mother when we were growing up
Your point is right, i can understand what you feel but as long as it is not getting uncomfortable for you, you can let him to know you, or get close to you, maybe there can be a good relationship for two of you, not like a typical father-son but still can be worth on the other hand you are always to free to live your life, it is clear that you do not need father figure anymore and it is normal
>>17120438
I feel your pain anon. Don't trust the situation, I did and my father fucked me over right well
My friend was in the same spot
Let him talk to you, atleast, It's just a phone call, you don't have to let him back into you life if you don't want to
>assume some authority figure over me just because I'm genetically related to him
did he really say or imply this shit, or did you just immediately hang up on him without hearing anything he said?
nigga, that's your dad
you don't owe him anything
he doesn't owe you anything
but it's been years, decades probably and you might be both different people from way back when. It's pretty much nothing, but I think you can drop like 5 minutes of your time to hear why he wants to talk to you after so long
You don't have to let him back into your life if you don't want to
>>17120438
Do you even know what happened between them? It seems to me you only know one side of the story.
if he left your life when you were young then its perfectly acceptable for you to refuse to let him back in as an adult
however I'm not saying that's the right decision to make, though I'm not saying its the wrong one either. This is something only you can decide.
>>17120455
He said it was him, I sighed then waited a bit before hanging up.
You father is an old man now and realizes that through his own failings he is going to die alone. He desperately wants to reconcile not because he cares about the people he hurt but because he cares about himself, which is the same reason he left you in the first place. Fuck him, live a good life and let him rot in the pit he made for himself.
>>17120465
MUH MRA
MUH WOMEN IZ LEACheZ THAT DESTROY MENZ
>>17120514
Yes, because women can't do any wrong in a relationship. Not saying that's what happened in OP's case but for fucks sake, it's not just one or the other. People do shitty things to each, regardless of what genitalia they have.
>>17120521
He cheated on her multiple times and admitted to fathering another child, which he then tried to make us all become one big happy family.
>>17120423
>This probably sounds childish as all fuck
I don't think so. Forgiveness is a good thing, but it is not for everyone or every situation. That's a call only you can make. If you are not prepared to let him back in, then you are not prepared to let him back in. He gave up any right to complain a long time ago.
But I do have one warning: it is not a good idea to leave things unsaid. It sounds to me as though you may have things to say. You should say them.
