So, I don't really know how to make this short. Posted here already so you might see some similarities but recently there's been something just kinda weird.
Few years ago, after being a disgusting NEET I decided to make a little effort and went back to school. Things went much better than expected. Met quite a few people, made some friends. At some point there was this new girl in class, she was kinda shy, not too popular. She didn't like my friends by that time. After a while these "friends" just quit and I was left alone at class, this girl and I talked to each other a few times. She was cool with me.
We didn't see each other by summer that year, after that we were alone with a lot of new people, I started getting attracted to her. I ignored her on purpose because I felt I wasn't ready and she seemed to be a little bit attached as well. I made new friends, I was pretty successful and all and by contrast she was doing progressively worse. Eventually she kinda faded away, I didn't see her around much.
A whole year later, one of the friends I made there told me she wanted my phone number, which I honestly thought was weird. We talked to each other like back then. So I decided to ask her out and at the last moment plans were cancelled. Some other friend of mine was telling me that it wouldn't work due to some interpretation on how our conversations went and I wasn't too sure.
Cont.
Then something unfortunate happened: one of my former teachers died. It was a rough day, I went to his funeral. She was there as well for a really short time, we didn't talk much to each other. Apparently I was looking gloomy enough and some people took notice. Going back home I thought that she really didn't give much of a shit so I just gave it up like I wouldn't bother talking to her much anymore.
As soon as I get home, I'm still thinking about this whole thing, I'm pretty unstable. And she decides to text me. She tells me "hey dude, you looked pretty sad today, cheer up" "if you need someone to talk to, just bring it here, I'm your friend after all". And what do I do? I tell her about all of my current problems. I unload a shitton of bricks on her without even thinking. She seemed to handle it ok. After ignoring her, after treating her the way I did I just whined like a bitch about my personal problems. We don't know each other enough and I told her more than my family and friends basically.
And now I'm sitting here thinking, have I screwed up badly? She is more of a stranger to me than many people, yet she gladly offered to listen to me and my troubles. Instead of being thankful enough I just decide to dump it all on her. I ignored her, I didn't help when she was in trouble at school and I barely know a thing about her because even though she does look troubled at times she doesn't seem to bother anyone about it. I feel truly like a piece of shit. I know this question is going to sound weird, but what can I do for her at this point? How do I explain something like the amount of time I spent giving her the cold shoulder?
Didn't do anything wrong. With circumstances as they were throughout you two knowing eachother, I'd say things are neutral at worst, looking on decent. Don't be so hard on yourself
>>17117943
It's just that when I look back at that time I focused my attention on other people without realizing that she would most definitely benefit from me being there for her. I tossed her aside and if the roles were switched I don't know if I could handle it the same way as she does.
So where we stand right now, though we don't talk to each other a lot, I told her that I'd be there for her as well. These things, her trying to contact me and just out of the blue being the only person in that funeral who talked to me after that just made me think things through.
>>17117953
Well, nows your chance to set things right with her if that's how you feel. She obviously wants to connect more with you, so no time like the present.
>>17117954
Yeah... I don't really have much to lose right now. She knows through and through how much of a loser I am and she still bothers.
Thanks man.
>>17117969
The good ones see the good in us, even when we don't.
Anytime
