>got tired of >tfw no gf
>decide to try and pursue a girl and stop waiting for one to pursue me
>decide to go for a girl in my class whom i'm at least on speaking terms with
>she's a bit strange but I like it, she's cool, probably not that different from me
>overcome fears and start having lunch w/ her
>overcome fears and ask her for her number
>overcome fears and ask her out on a date over txt
>get nothing back for a while, assume it's a no
>already preparing myself for rejection and trying to figure out the best way to minimize awkwardness
>takes me leaving the building and receiving her text to remember the room I was in didn't have service
>she says she's busy but would let me know when she's not
I feel great, anons.
Only problem is, where the FUCK do I go from here? Literally every move I've made so far has been planned, but I don't have any ideas as to how to go on.
I don't want to come off as persistent or creepy, but I also don't want to make it seem like I don't care.
I haven't texted her since yesterday, though I did see her in class today.
Should I text her? What should I text her? What do I DO???
>>17112699
>she's busy but would let me know when she's not
That might have been a subtle rejection, m8. Women do that sometimes. They don't want to say "no" directly so they'll keep saying that they're busy or they'll set up a date and make up an excuse in the last second why they can't come.
>>17112708
You're right. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Any tips on finding out if she's actually interested?
>>17112708
this, try one more time if u are interested in her if she says no just keep on the next one, hey at least you did an amizing advance in your life anon keep practicing with other girls
>>17112716
Just let it go, if she's not upfront she probably doesn't like you and she's making excuses to not say no out right. But you made a big leap forward by even talking to her and asking her. Try at it with another girl, you can do it.
>>17112716
Most people are rarely so busy that they can't find the time for one date. She'd probably try to make time if she was interested. Did she react to you in class today?
There are no sure signs of knowing these things, though, unless the girl is heavily flirting which is something that you would definitely notice. That's just how it is.
I had a similar situation. Also didn't want to seem like I don't care. Turned out that some women simply refuse to directly reject guys.
>>17112708
Yup, it could be this.
But if it's not, don't freak out about it. Just take her out for a coffee or something, and if things are going well, roll that in to dinner and drinks or something.
Hell, you could also take her to a park, an aquarium, whatever.
At this point you know each other ok enough that you can probably circumvent a lot of the awkward basics, so what's important is that you just spend time together alone enough to figure out how you get along.
It honestly doesn't matter where you are, what matters is that you two are both somewhere together, where you have enough intimacy to be alone together, and you can have fun doing something that you want to do.
Just make you're doing something you enjoy,
If you are having fun and she's having fun, that tends to combine to create a greater level of fun for you both.
>>17112735
>>17112732
I guess you guys are right. I know she's the type to smile and act nice to people she doesn't like, too. Should I break off contact with her?
>>17112741
I don't think that guy meant that she dislikes you as a person when he said "she doesn't like you", just that she's not romantically interested. There's no reason to stop being friendly towards her. Just act like nothing happened.
>>17112745
You're right. I'll try not to be a dick about it.
>>17112741
>>17112790
Yeah I didn't mean that she doesn't like you as a person, just romantically. If it'll pain you to just be friends then move on. But if you can still be friends without yiu wanting to be more than friends, then stay friends. But regardless, no need to be a dick or anything.
Man, social interaction really is a fucking joke, isn't it? This is a lose-lose no matter how she actually feels.
If I'm right, and she doesn't like me, I've just played the game and made a fool out of myself.
If I'm wrong, and she does like me, I've only played a diffent hand in the same game.
I could confront her, try to get her to give an honest answer, but weather she tells me she really is interested or dodges giving a real answer, I've still gotten sucked into one of the many clichés that fill the world of human intercommunication. Like a scene out of a bad sitcom.
Silly me for thinking all I had to do was treat people like I'd like to be treated and do what I feel's best.
I don't think I'm cut out for this. I think i'll go back to the way things were. I tried
>>17112828
>made a fool out of myself.
But you didn't. Being rejected doesn't make you a fool. Only people with social anxiety will think so. I have a physically attractive and social friend who's good at dating, but initially he was being rejected by women left and right all the time. You'll grow a thicker skin, eventually. Everyone gets rejected. Keep trying and connecting with people will become more natural to you.
You said before
> Literally every move I've made so far has been planned
Don't plan too much, it's not grand strategy.
>Silly me for thinking all I had to do was treat people like I'd like to be treated and do what I feel's best.
>I don't think I'm cut out for this.
And don't wallow in self-pity. You made a step forward.
>>17112828
Shut the fuck up, idiot. You made a great, courageous change in yourself and passed a point of no return. If you have the guts to ask her out, you will have the guts to ask somebody else as well.
Try again. And again. And again. You will fail over 90% of the time, but then of course it's all about the rest.
Here's a free tip - this love mumbo-jumbo is bullshit, but those questions are extremely good conversation starters and are a great way to keep the chit-chat going and create a sense of intimacy and trust.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=1
>>17112699
Threaten to shoot up the school if she doesn't become your girlfriend. Works all the time. I did it myself and now people won't stop talking about me. I went from sad to chad overnight pretty much.
>she says she's busy but would let me know when she's not
that's female for no you idiot
>>17112846
I guess that came off a little more negative than I meant it to.
All I meant was that what I want is to have simple, transparent connections with people and not have to jump through a ton of hoops and follow unwritten laws, and still be left in the dark about weather or not I'm actually doing the right thing.
I just don't want to do that.
'I'll let you know' is a rejection.
>>17112897
>>17112903
I use to be a social retard and I know how you feel. But if you're persistent enough, it'll come naturally. Once you build up confidence, you won't care if you're making a fool out of yourself or not, you'll assume that you're doing the right thing and the other person is being silly. "Normal" people don't overthink things like these so much.
>>17112699
>be me
>meet girl online
>we talk and text for a week
>conversation is going very well
>she's always very definite in her responses
>time comes to make plans
>she lives 2 hours away
>wants me to go to her
>I'm horrible at directions, get lost easily
>Ask her if should would like to come up to me
>tell her I have a bad sense of direction(stupid, I know)
>she text me back with, " I might have to work overtime, I'll let you know")
>haven't heard back from her in a month
Moral of the story. When a female says, she'll let you know or she's busy, it's a non aggressive way of saying no.
You did well though, stepped outside your comfort zone. Build on that.
