On a scale from 1 to 10 how cringy is girl confessing her feelings to a male friend?
>>17111921
1. We don't really mind those things at all
>>17111921
As cringy as a guy that never confesses his feelings and lives to regret it years down the line, washed-up, lonely, and depressed.
>>17111921
Depends on how attractive she is.
>>17111921
3 points.
It is expected of human females to being unable to hold their emotions shut in especially combined with period times.
1
if a guy finds this cringeworthy, he is retarded
>>17111932
It's more pathetic than not telling anything, I feel
>>17111934
She's not attractive at all
>>17111948
oh so this wasn't a hypothetical
either way, it still isnt cringeworthy
Zero. If you like someone then tell them. Gender doesn't matter. Love whoever you want and be excellent to each other.
I wish a girl would do this for me since I'm fucktarded and can only note signs when they're too late
>>17111921
>confessing feelings
Never a bad thing.
>>17111985
Are you being serious?
>>17112005
is there a situation where its bad?
>>17112009
Well, I've always heard that it's a creepy move making the confessing side look pathetic, needy or thirsty
>>17112014
uhhh no
obviously if you confess feelings of love to someone you never even talked to then yeah
otherwise, i fail to see a situation where this applies. confessing your feelings takes serious guts, even harder for girls. ive had a girl ask for my number in a cafe, and i thought it was seriously straightforward and she looked awesome as fuck in my eyes
>>17112017
Ok but what happened with cafe girl
>>17112014
People who say that are usually projecting their own insecurities onto the situation, i.e. "I *felt* really desperate/pathetic/embarrassed when it didn't go my way"
You said it's a friend so that's totally different. If it's someone you hardly knew or just met, it'd be strange because you obviously don't know them very well.
I'm not saying you should do it, but putting yourself out there is very brave.
>>17112031
I guess it can be perceived both as brave and as desperate.
>>17112014
B-But if nobody confesses, then how does a relationship happen?
If you don't make it cringy, it won't be cringy. Just casually say, hey, I think I'm falling in love with you, wanna go to a date bro
>>17111958
How I imagine you right now
Its not cringy at all
It can actually be an eye opener and a huge relief
I was glad when my gf told me how she felt
0
Rather have a girl tell me she likes me than constantly fish and make subtle hints. I can't take that shit seriously and always suspect there is something wrong with it.
>>17112132
So what you're saying is that this guy fucks? Seriously, there's one in this thread that does /all/ the fucking and it's him.
>>17112186
This
Dont play games with people
>>17112125
>B-But if nobody confesses, then how does a relationship happen?
>If you don't make it cringy, it won't be cringy. Just casually say, hey, I think I'm falling in love with you, wanna go to a date
Errr... that's actually INSANELY loaded.
A good rule of thumb is to is stay way the hell away from the word "love" until you've been seeing this person for at least a few months.
There is no bigger flag than telling someone you hardly know that you "love" them. In fact, it's actually a pretty damn good way to tank almost any budding/potential relationship on purpose.
>>17111921
Just casually and confidently and ask them if they want to try something--I say confidently because if you're too wishy washy and nervous about it, odds are they won't know what the hell you're talking about.
I remember I actually kind of laughed it off once when my best friend/FWB asked if we wanted to start dating because she said it in such a bizzare way and it was so out of the blue I thought was joking... It wasn't until the next morning I realized she was serious, and by then she'd thought better of it (though honestly, we wouldn't have worked out, I love her as a friend, but we just wouldn't work at all as a couple).
When I was trying to attract the guy I wanted to be with, I tried all the hints under the sun. I tried dropping compliments and flirting consistently for months beforehand and he just didn't respond to it. I assumed it was because he wasn't interested, then one night I just decided to tell him outright.
It was awkward as fuck but he had absolutely no clue that I had any feelings for him at all. This is just what some people are like.
Looking back on it, it would have been far less cringe-worthy if I'd just told him how I felt from the beginning. Most men don't romanticise things like women do, so they won't read into things or ruminate about things as much. Just be straight up, get it out of the way and see how he responds.
>>17112273
So what even happened with this guy? It's nice that he didn't know but did you ever actually end up with him or what?
>>17112273
That guy is me
I couldn't tell she liked me and i cant read body language
The girls friend told me how she cried over what to do and how she wants to do something but i wont like her and what not
Too al girls who make the move or just bluntly tells a guy how they feel
Thank you
>>17112312
>Too al girls who make the move or just bluntly tells a guy how they feel
>Thank you
This.
>>17112273
>Most men don't romanticise things like women do, so they won't read into things or ruminate about things as much.
False. In fact it could very easily be argued that men exaggerate and idealize MUCH more than women (what do you think bragging and fish stories ultimately are?). But combined with a lower social awareness, they can have a hard time differentiated between reality and imagined, so we can tunnel vision on one narrative and can even ignore signs that don't fit it.
As this dude: >>17112251
I saw little hints and clues that my best friend was in to me for months before we started sleeping together and she dropped that line. The thing was, I didn't really think it was anything real. I figured it was all just in my head and wrote it off like that. To me, I didn't really make sense for a lesbian chick to be interested in a guy, and so I saw everything through that narrative.
First girl I ever fell for the opposite happened where I thought she liked me, and I read in to things to fit that story. When I ended up confessing to her how I felt and she shut me up with a kiss, it confirmed the romanticized narrative i'd written out in my head. But, the truth was she wasn't THAT in to me, and i'd been ignoring little things all along. So I got my heart crushed not even a week later. (Honestly, it's been over half a decade and even with all this much more perspective and experience, I still have absolutely no idea how she actually felt because everything I experienced was so rose tinted back then).
The funny thing is I'm normally a pretty objective and self-aware guy who can call out his own actions as well as anyone else's, but even I have my blind spots when it comes to certain things.
That all said, once again, I agree with her saying you should be direct, just don't be overwhelmingly loaded.
I have experience of this from both sides (I've even had someone tell me they loved me after a single date.It triggered more red flags than a communist rally).
>>17112322
Ill never get this
Hmm i dont really like this person..
He told me he likes me? Yeah ill kiss him and tell him i feel the same way
Just be honest
>>17112322
>I've even had someone tell me they loved me after a single date
does shit like this ever happen in a real life? whatta heck??
It depends on how long she's had these feelings. If she confesses immediately, there is no cringe at all. Otherwise, incrwase by about 1 point per month since you became aware you had these feelings.
A similar principle applies to men confessiong to women. There is still no cringe if you confess immediately. Unfortunately, the popularity of Nice Guy/orbiter tactics has pretty much ruined the concept of delayed confession for everybody, and so for men cringe rises much faster: increase by one point per week, rather than per month.
Bottom line: male or female, show some baseline courage and ASK THEM OUT. You have already blown every opportunity you will ever have for it to be less cringeworthy than it is right now, and this is your last chance for the cringe to be this low. The cringe will only increase if you delay any further.
>>17112331
Honestly I get it. She was going through a pretty emotionally shitty part of her life (drug and raped at party, dumped because of it, had her fav 8 yo student get hit by a car and die right in front of her, small town girl getting disillusioned with Los Angeles lifestyle, all in the past 2 years) so she got caught up in the moment and I've always had a knack for being persuasive and getting people swept up in my own pace (it's actually something I had to learn to tone down when I started to seriously date in the months/years after)
I don't at all blame her, it just kind of sucked. Still, I was genuinely glad to have met her and stayed friends 'til she moved away (I mentioned she was getting disillusioned with LA big city life, a few months later she decided to move back home to go to graduate school, she now teaches grade school in Alaska lol)
>>17112332
Yeah. It's also happened to a friend of mine. I remember at the time I joked and nick named her little mermaid (because she also had red hair). They kissed on their first date and the first words out of her mouth were, "I love you". My friend was just like... uhhh. Nope.
>>17112378
Why would you even reveal how long these feelings have been going on? It doesn't make sense
>>17112557
Not that anon but I get his logic. If you ask someone out after knowing them for 4 days, it's a lot different than asking them after 4 months, or 4 years. It sets a different precedent from the get go.
Additionally, i feel like that "cringe points" are toxic. The more you let this shit go on the back burner, the more "cringe points" you build up, and the more "cringe points" you have, the more they actually directly influence the way you act, think, and behave to be cringe worthy.
>>17112665
So assuming we've been friends for five years I have enough cringe points to sink the whole thing down? Why even try then?
>>17112892
Because a 1% chance of success is still better than 0% and a 100% chance of soul crushing regret.
And to reiterate, those "cringe points" build up from the moment you realize you like them, not when you first meet them .
