How do I get rid of the idea that getting a romantic partner would make me happy?
>>17111372
By getting a romantic partner who makes you unhappy
>>17111372
You don't.
That shit is preprogrammed.
>>17111372
One day a romantic partner may make you happy but that will come in it's own time, don't try and force something that's not there
>>17111373
I already did. Now I just keep thinking I'd be happy if I could get a boyfriend I actually like.
>>17111387
That might work for straight people - 90% of people are straight, you see straight girls all the time - but that will not be it for me.
This is the loop I am stuck in. I'm stuck in this little village with no gays because I don't have the mental resources to leave and I don't have the emotional support to get to it because I don't have a partner.
>>17111395
Have you tried the online gay community? Being able to talk to someone who is going through the same issue may help. It might even give you more initative to get out or the village
>have domineering mother and passive father
>take antidepressants to kill your sex drive
>work somewhere where there are plenty of shitty people of the opposite sex (if straight, same sex if gay)
>take a uni course with autists of the opposite sex
If this doesn't work then you might as well work through your issues in order to get a partner.
>>17111398
what IS this gay community? Half of Tumblr is gay, I'm there.
The probelm is, to move out, I would have to have a job. To get a real job that makes enough money to make it in a big city, you need a real education (and a very good, upscale one and that, especially since I don't know anyone there and have zero connections) and I don't have the strength and energy to even figure out what kind of a real adult job I'd want to do for the rest of my life. I'm one of those people who literally can't learn things that I have no interest in if my life depended on it, and it does.
I have seriously considered killing myself just to get out of here and I still can't force myself to study pharmacy.
>>17111405
Mom doesn't let me move out, dad's been dead for years, I have no sex drive to begin with (as a matter of fact I hate sex) and my workmates are fine but nobody that I would have an interest in. All my friends are fat girls.
>>17111413
>Mom doesn't let me move out
>let me
wtf how old are you
>>17111405 here
>>17111413
Maybe you could do with a therapist to determine whether you're really asexual or just needing to work through some issues which are getting in the way of letting yourself admit you want sex/love. My advice is to find a therapist who you can relate to.
>>17111469
I've been on hold waiting to get a therapist for a whole month now. These things, they told me, usually take about three weeks to process but they need to prioritize emergencies.
I am never a priority unless I make myself an emergency, it seems.
>>17111508
If you're Australian, get a mental healthcare plan for a psychologist from your doctor.
>>17111534
I'm european, and I've already had a doctor agree that I need a psychiatric contact and sent me a letter to a mental clinc. They've received it (I called to check) but for the past month they've been too busy with more important people to see to me.
I've considered throwing some sort of a dramatic show in order to remind them that I exist. Get drunk and fuck my arms up with a boxcutter or something. I'm going to be an emergency if I need an ambulance, right?
And if I die, that'll end my problems just the same.
when you are unhappy, a new romantic boy friend or a new car cannot make you happy or maybe for a short time, only.
you need to become intrinsic happy.
>>17111714
A new car would enable me to get to work on my own so I can move out and get the fuck away from my family.
A new boyfriend could be enough help and support to get me through the motions of buying a car without fucking up or buying a trash heap as a subconscious attempt at self-harm.
All in all I think it would help to have real, genuine proof that I am not garbage.
>>17111828
I'm the Australian you were talking to earlier. Sucks that therapy is inaccessible for you right now. In the meantime get yourself some regular hobbies/interests to do to get you out of your own head. It won't be a substitute for a boyfriend but you'll feel better about yourself for having your own interests. Try a team sport like touch football because they usually have things like team road trips and regular Saturday night get togethers to keep you busy. Or if you're not sporty, maybe an artistic hobby like music might help you feel better.
As for the money issue, just take whatever job you can get. Right now I work a shitkicker retail job but am still applying for data analysis job so I did with my uni study.
>>17111372
realize this: nothing provides lasting satisfaction.
if you find a partner, they may make you happy for a time... but for how long?
at some point, you will be unsatisfied. you may even feel miserable.
the relationship will grow stale, or maybe even toxic. eventually, you will long for the next thing to bring you that feeling of happiness.
you cannot find that in someone else.
>>17112124
I'm afraid getting outside of my head is not going to happen. It's a very vast place, and I've even forgotten how to disassociate.
How do I develop interests when I don't like anything? Do I just choose a random arbitrary thing to be really, really into and then force myself to it? That didn't work with careers.
I work an irregular shift job so any arranged, scheduled hobby won't do.
I used to sing but I don't live alone and again, my work is irregular. I am not going to be that asshole who starts practicing guitar at 3 am because that's when I happen to be awake.
Is there any instrument I can practice in complete silence?
I have money. My issues with buying my own vehicle are purely out of a combination of little of experience and plenty of mental problems. I have no idea how to buy a car and there's a thoudand ways I could fuck it up.
>>17112155
Life is not lasting. We are not immortal, joy does not need to be infinite to be worth pursuing.
Sorry to be rude, but thinking like you only made me want to kill myself, and not killing myself has become somewhat of a primary goal in my life.
>>17111395
Have you tried praying the gay away?
What everybody needs to be happily functioning in their 20s and above is two things:
A relationship you were invested in that ruined you
and
A relationship you found yourself in, but weren't at all invested in
The first will teach you that it's possible to live alone, and that after the initial pain, life is pretty good.
The second will teach you that being with somebody, just anybody, is not any better than being alone.
Make an online dating profile and date the first decent person you talk with, it'll help.
>>17111372
It won't. It will make you miserable. People are fucked up pieces of shit. Men and women.
>>17113146
I already had the latter. Sometimes I think about going back to him, but now that I've been out of his grip this long, I understand that dying alone is still better than being chained to a needy, annoying manchild with a shit taste in everything.
How do I convince someone that I'm attracted to into actually giving me a shot?
>>17111395
>90% of people are straight
More like 98%
>>17113515
That doesn't help me much.
