>Brother had disabling accident at 3 yrs old, a few months before I was born
>Dilemma tore mom/dad apart, as dad worked to get away from stress of brother's new reality, mother left to take care of us both herself while he worked
>When I was of age to generally fend for myself, I did my own thing. Video games, playing pretend, or outside with neighborhood pals. Mom had to return to taking care of just brother 24/7, so I was left to myself
>Only around parents (mainly mom) for meals, bathing, trips to store, or bedtime. Never grew a solid relationship with mom/dad because o fit
>Age 10, dad decided to get me into his hobbies. Sports, household chores, etc. At that age I still valued my alone time, and fought with him to not have to do things with him until 17
>Mom still spiteful towards dad, her venting to me, in turn made me spiteful towards dad as well. Made me idolize mom, demonize dad
>Age 15, started learning things from dad. Half of mom's claims were about 75% true, bending truth to make dad look particularly bad
>Didn't believe claims until I started bonding with dad, she would make white lies to try to tear us back apart, drive me back to her
>Started slowly resenting mom for a year. Really argued with her over anything.
>19 now and over it all. Never resented parents for how my childhood turned out. It made me independent, but at the same time, I only see them as caretakers, not friends. My dad and I occasionally do something, but rarely. I don't have anything in common with mom anymore, and don't feel the need to fix it. Seeing dad and I get along bitters her. Am I shitty for not wanting a "friendship" with my mother? I can do VERY small talk, but just don't connect with her, and don't feel a need or desire to.
>>17110764
No your not a little shit as long as they know you love them because that is all they have for you. I had a similar but different relationship with my parents. Dad did what ever he wanted regardless of what was important for the family so he would buy himself things and we would miss a power bill, he also treated me and my brothers like friends not sons. Mom made the sacrifices and had to control the money so we could eat. Parents got divorced and both talked shit about the other. Dad convinced me mom was a bitch but i would realize the truth as the years went on. She was there for me because he couldn't bother to be. She would talk shit about him constantly and berate me for all my choices. I despised both for the longest time, but my punishment for them was being a little shit. For mom i would have nothing to do with her and criticize her and her beliefs with dad i spent time with him but i was never personal with him. He didnt see a single one of my report cards until i graduated high school and never heard about me flipping a car. He became desperate for info and figured i hated him. He often ask if he is a good dad and i respond "you arent a bad dad."
Mom is bitter because i even talk to my dad.
Just make sure your parents know you love them. Just dont be that piece of shit who puts his parents in a nursing home and never visits.
Fuck your parents, you are not supposed to be friends, that's some new age shit. Visit them, keep them informed about your life events, get informed about theirs.
How is your brother, try to be his friend, apart from saying he had a disabling accident you didn't mention anything more.
>>17110848
I didn't mention much about him because there's nothing much for me to mention. We used to be close until things just changed. I honestly don't know what happened. He's in a wheelchair and can only verbalize through mumbles. He expresses emotions through squeals, yells, and his arm movements. His motor skills are very low. He is mentally about a 13 year old. He slowly started to get frustrated with me being around him (Mother thinks he's upset that I can do all these things physically and he can't, which frustrates him) I haven't had a solid relationship with him since I was maybe 14. Sometimes walking into a room will tick him off and he'll start screaming, but my father and I both notice that when it's just my dad, brother and I, he's fine. He laughs and smiles. But around my mother and I, he gets angry. My dad thinks "He just wants to be one of the guys, and he can't do that with mom on his back 24/7"
I'm leaving for college in a few months, and honestly with the situation, my dad says "I want you to come home to visit, but don't feel like you have to. Your mother will drive me crazy but we want you to be happy."
You don't need to be friends with your parents to love them. They did a really shitty thing to you to be clear, but still it wouldn't hurt to forgive them and try to make the best of things. I would focus on patching up your relationship with your brother.
>>17110866
Oh shit anon, that's tough for all. If he is more calm when its just him, your father and you, try to spend more time with them.
Good luck with college anon.
