Girlfriend's friend who is also a friend of mine has cheated on her boyfriend, twice, with the same guy in the span of a week.
He only knows about the first time (inb4 cuck) but he said he wouldn't forgive her again.
Do I tell him about the second time? I risk ruining my friendship with his girlfriend and make my gf angry at me, but I hate cheating.
Pic unrelated
Nice quackers
>>17109570
Do what feels right.
>>17109570
>Do I tell him about the second time?
Your hatred for cheating has nothing to with the fact that whatever is going on between them is none of your business.
Stay out of it. The only reason you want to get involved is to satisfy some personal moral code of yours and this situation has nothing to do with you.
>>17109630
Hoe detected
Op it's your obligation to save him from an evil cheating slut
Would you want him to tell you?
Same answer
>>17109634
>Hoe detected
No, I'm an adult man that keeps my nose out of shit that isn't my business. I don't volunteer to get myself involved in other people's drama because I'm not a child.
Like I said, not only is it none of your business but your concern isn't even honesty or integrity you just want to punish your friend.
If you want to be an ADULT about it you talk to your friend and you confront her about her behavior and use your position as her friend to encourage her to do the right thing.
Thats what you should do if you're interested in doing the adult, responsible thing. If you just want to be a snitch, start a bunch of shit, punish her and get yourself a front row seat in other people's drama then tell her boyfriend, sit back and enjoy the fireworks.
Honestly I don't care either way but if you're gonna be an asshole just own up to it. You don't have to try to convince us or yourself that you're doing it because of your morals or whatever.
>>17109663
You're just a lil bitch, bitch
Discuss it with your gf ahead of time so she doesn't feel like you kept her out of the loop. If she's responsible she would agree that it is best. I have had a best friend cheat on a guy who was also my friend. I told him about it, lost my best friend but am still buddies with the guy 4 years later. Its just the right thing to do and you end up with the loyal people in your life when you make loyal decisions.
>>17109669
>You're just a lil bitch, bitch
You'll understand when you grow up.
>>17109678
I'll never understand the 'cuck code' you abide by.
>>17109630
Fuck that.
I'd make it my business.
But then again I just love meddling in peoples' lives.
>>17109570
Nice freinds you have op.
>>17109663
I hope someone cheats on you and no one tells you about it.
>>17109639
this anon asks an important question
also why would your gf be mad at you? that is really strange to me.
i think the thing you can do is tell gf and friend that you are super uncomfortable with this whole thing and you need her to tell him or you will. this puts you smack in the middle of the drama storm but might be a more upstanding way to handle it?
like do they both know you know? why do they expect you to keep this secret? what have they said about it?
>>17109684
>I just love meddling in peoples' lives
Grow up dumbass.
Tell him, it's fucked that she did that and justice needs to be served
>>17109570
>Do I tell him about the second time? I risk ruining my friendship with his girlfriend and make my gf angry at me, but I hate cheating.
Once upon a time before I red pilled, I had an ex girlfriend who said she loved me. I met her friends and her friends liked me too. We hung out together, did drugs together, went on adventures...
Then one day I found out the girl that was telling me she was in love with me and wanted to "keep me forever" was sucking her ex's dick on the side. Her friends all knew about it the whole time we were hanging out.
I was devastated that they had been hanging out with me, telling me how much they loved me, building me up... while every single one of them knew I was kissing on lips that were sucking her ex's dick.
I can honestly say that that event, knowing how much these people acted like they loved the shit out of me while also knowing my ex was taking side dick, started me on the path that led me here today. Today I'm dating the president of the sorority, she's /fit, and she does things like suck me off every morning for 3 months.
So I think you should tell your friend. I think you should tell him because I remember what it was like being your friend... and I am happy someone like you was around to tell me.
BTW, all of those people who knew and didn't speak to me because >>17109663 that isn't my business? Yeah I cut them right the fuck out of my life. I sat them all down and told them I couldn't trust them and I couldn't be friends with them any longer so to please never contact me or bother me again. Two of them cried. They still try to reach out to me, but I'll never crack because people like that are trash.
You could even let it slip in secret to the boyfriend; Like a men amongst men thing. Then have him find evidence and not snitch you. This way you give him the ability to correct things, without causing shittons of drama.
>>17109744
You're a pee pee head, Mr.
>>17109679
>I'll never understand the 'cuck code' you abide by.
Like I said, when you're all grown up it will start to make more sense. Staying out of other people's business or not "punishing" every woman that you think deserves it has nothing to do with cuckoldry. I've been trying to explain but it occurred to me that your adolescence prevents you from admitting that you don't know everything.
Like I said, if you just like meddling in shit that isn't your business just say so. Stop pretending like this about being a "cuck" or men sticking together. You like to punish people and fuck around in their lives.
You like to be the golden moral warrior that rides in on his shiny steed and punishes people for the "greater good" but deep down you're just itching for the opportunity to fuck with people.
Its ok to be an asshole if you're straight up about it. An asshole who shrouds himself in false justification is just the worst.
>I hope someone cheats on you and no one tells you about it.
If it were a friend I'd expect them to tell me. If its just some random fuck-o thats using my shitty relationship as a platform to soothe his own insecurity and get his rocks off I'd enjoy it if he minded his own business.
>>17109796
Now, if he has to LIE to cover up this girl's infidelity thats a whole different thing. That's not cool. Your situation is not the same at all.
If this guy is asking him where she was a certain night and he's forced to lie for her he has absolutely no obligation to keep her secret but to go out of his way to fuck around in a situation that has nothing to do with him is pretty immature.
Every red-pilled /r9k/ fucker in this thread knows for a fact that if it were a guy whose fellow guy friend was cheating you would all be on the side of staying bros. Lets stop pretending like this has anything to do with morals.
>>17110296
You're the ultimate cuck, my friend.
Of course. The guy doesnt deserve to be put through that shit.
>>17110296
>Every red-pilled /r9k/ fucker in this thread knows for a fact that if it were a guy whose fellow guy friend was cheating you would all be on the side of staying bros
Not really. I've seen the exact opposite of what you claim happen many times over. It's not an issue of misogyny or whatever boogeyman you want to roll with, but the simple fact that he (or she in the opposite situation) do not deserve to be fucked over like that.
This follows the very simple rule of do unto others as you wish they would do unto you. In this case, I would absolutely wish someone would tell me if my SO was being unfaithful.
>>17110296
>Lets stop pretending like this has anything to do with morals.
Fuck off. No, seriously.
>>17110296
Just because you are an adult does not make you an ultimate wise wizard lord of sociology.
My father was a marine for 20 years. He told me an interesting story a bout his ex wife.
He was in Okinawa japan. He had a wife while he was stationed there and they lived together. She ended up cheating on him with some dumbass marine. Now marines are a tight group. So if anything happens between them, no mater if you know them on a personal level or not, they are going to know what happend. My father loved that about the marines. So when someone told him that his wife was cheating on him. He divorced her right then and there and sent her ass back to America. He told me he never trusted anyone more than his marines because of that.
If you knew your friend was being cheated on, or someone you know has been cheated on, be a fucking guy and tell the truth. Hidden it from someone is the most selfish thing you can do to a friend. It shows how worthless and untrustworthy you can be to someone.
>>17110028
this doesn't work at all because the boyfriend let her cheat on him once and forgave it but said "don't do it again".
A guy like that. will always break down and end up telling her how he found out. I'd put money on that shit.
>>17110296
this anon has some point but i think you are overplaying how remote the bf is in this situation. his gf and the cheater are good friends he hangs out w/ her regularly. i'm guessing he has contact w/ the bf as well. not as often but he sees the dude.
your "adult" (i doubt you are older than me if we are playing that game) position can't be he shouldn't make any waves in case he's never put in a situation where he'd have to lie about it.
fuck that. this isn't some shit where its crazy remote. where the first thing that happens is you know that X had sex. then later on you find out X has a relationship then you research who X is with and then find a way to get word to them just to see the fireworks.
this shit is too close to home for OP. his gf "would be mad" if he did anything. they've already someone made him complicit in this shit. he's gotta stand up and tell these women that he's not ok with being involved in this shit. and that they need to tell this guy or just dump him already wtf
I say do it, OP.
I had something along the lines of this happen to me in which my girlfriend at the time confessed her feelings to my best friend. He told me and I am glad that I got rid of her.
>>17110302
>You're the ultimate cuck, my friend.
Reply disregarded. Using the word to cuck to derail an entire argument without using even the smallest bit of analysis is the tool of a child.
>>17110340
>Fuck off. No, seriously.
Nope. I've been trolling these boards for awhile and the criticism of females is ten times worse than it is on males for the same behavior. If you can't acknowledge that you haven't been reading carefully.
>>17110382
>>17110415
I highlighted the proper way to handle the situation but the vitriol has just been calling me a "cuck" at this point. I'm still not exactly sure how not taking the moral consequences of someone else's life into your hands is called being a cuck.
Oh yeah, thats right, because she's a woman.
If he really cared about doing the right thing he'd confront his friend about her behavior but at the end of the day its not his place to do the right thing for her because where does it stop? Would it be cool if he broke into her phone and took screen caps or followed her places and took pictures to show to this guy as evidence?
Does he keep tabs on all of her boyfriends and let them know when she does something shady? Where is the line of being moral arbiter of the people around you drawn?
What if it was his friend's friend's girlfriend? Someone he didn't know? A coworker? A complete stranger? All I'm saying is that once you open the door to making it your responsibility to make moral choices for other people its a slippery slope.
On top of that you can't use this moral high ground to explain away his motivation for wanting to do this. Just because you're intervening in a situation where people are being shitty to each other does not mean your cause is just. If that were the case then it would be perfectly alright for me to spy on complete strangers and report their behavior to their significant others. They're still cheating on each other and I "hate cheating" so what am I doing wrong?
>>17110382
>If you knew your friend was being cheated on, or someone you know has been cheated on, be a fucking guy and tell the truth.
But that isn't this situation here. OP isn't friends with the person being cheated on. The person being cheated on has made it abundantly clear that he has some serious intimacy issues and insists upon being with a girl that cheats on him.
He made that choice for himself. If he's that kind of guy then his next girlfriend will probably do the same. So, again, what place is it of yours to intervene in his life and make different choices for him even if you believe they are the better ones?
This guy obviously lets his girlfriend walk all over him. She's fucked and he's fucked. I'm still not sure how jamming yourself in between this situation uninvited is supposed to do anything but damage more relationships?
I think the main motivation here is that this board is fueled by a hatred for dishonest women so when given the opportunity to knock one of them down a few pegs the immediate reaction is always to do so.
I get that. I don't care for dishonest people the same as anyone but when you get to be my age and been through dozens of friends and relationships you come to realize that if you were to take everyone's lives and choices into your hands the only thing you'll accomplish is pissing off everyone you know and spending all of your time and energy being everyone else's referee.
If its a friend who is being hurt the choice is a lot easier. When its a friend doing the hurting its more complicated than that. Making it your personable responsibility to bring their life down on their heads as a consequence for doing things you perceive as wrong seems like a very strange way to conduct yourself.
Thats my personal belief, anyways, and I don't feel like I've been of disservice to any of my friends or acquaintances. If anyone has anything more constructive than "UR A KEK" to add that would be great.
>>17110553
Bottomline is, would you like to know? Because I sure as hell would. That's pretty much it. Now, let's hear how I am wrong and how you are an adult and thus know more.
/adv/ shits on dishonest men as well.
>>17109570
Tell him anonymously. Send him a letter or something. You shouldn't fear social repercussions for telling the truth, but he also deserves to know.
>>17109570
Your both whores desu so fuck off the internet
>>17110574
>Bottomline is, would you like to know? Because I sure as hell would
I already answered that. If it was someone I considered a friend then yes I'd expect them to tell me. If it was some friend of a friend who felt it was his place to butt into my life because of his misplaced sense of justice then I would be very irritated.
No one, by the way, has even mentioned the fact that this guy knows his girl cheats on him and wants to be with her anyways. Obviously he's in love with what he wants this girl to be and not what she actually is. There is a good chance that this guy is in such denial that he might not even want to know. In that case, the only thing telling him would accomplish is more hurt feelings. It wouldn't right any wrongs, it wouldn't punish the evildoer for her crimes it would just destroy a friendship and then these two people would end up being just as dysfunctional after the dust settled as they were before.
You see how situations can sometimes have deeper implications than just "DO IT OR UR A KEK" when you sit down and actually think about it?
>Now, let's hear how I am wrong and how you are an adult and thus know more.
You can think differently. I'm not here to convince you of anything you don't want to be convinced of. I only mention being an adult because with years comes perspective and I can guarantee you that years of perspective can solve literally 80% of the problems I see here on /adv/.
Being young means being reactionary and emotional and head strong and I understand, I was the same way when I was late teens, early 20's. I'm just here to share my perspective.
Only reason I'm being hostile is because people think calling me a faggot and a cuck without responding to anything I said is supposed to be a legitimate debate technique. Its not. Its being a child.
>/adv/ shits on dishonest men as well.
They do, but not nearly as much as they do on women and you know that.
Wtf testing desu
>tfw desu
>>17109570
If he is your friend, then yes. If your gf can't handle that, then dump her.
Help create an environment where lying sluts fear discovery.
>>17109570
>Do I tell him about the second time? I risk ruining my friendship with his girlfriend and make my gf angry at me, but I hate cheating.
How would you feel if you were cheated on and found out your friend knew about it and was silent? Would that be an acceptable excuse to you?
Likewise I think you need to ask yourself some serious questions if your girlfriend would get angry at you over this.
>>17110530
I'm this guy >>17109796 and you are doing mental gymnastics to try and avoid certain simple truths here.
>1 - The guy is already involved.
They're all friends. They interact regularly. Just the fact that OP knows the situation means the situation is public otherwise he wouldn't know it.
>2 - The gender doesn't matter
Yelling about how certain posters would react differently if genders were different is.... irrelevant even if true.
Overall I get the impression you've got an emotional bias regarding this. Also, quit whining about "vitriol" when you ass-plode over every comment critical of you. Do unto others and all that.
>>17110530
lol your slippery slope argument is fuckawful. i get that you are pushing back against an agenda but you are ending up as delusional and agenda-driven as they are.
don't try to handwave this into some generality, we have a specific situation we're dealing with. his not being a moral arbiter, he's asking if its ok to do nothing when someone he knows is doing something messed up to someone else he knows...
get your head out of your ass
>>17110553
oh great, i assume you are the same anon who is advocating doing and saying nothing. now you are just moving the goal posts around
>>17110602
this is def a thing you could do but its really more hurt and confusion and drama for both of these people. really the gf just needs to come clean so they can end this shit or have an open relationship or w/e you do when a guy is this fucked in the head
sad thread OP abandoned a long time ago without any feedback. feels bad
Op here, let me clear up some things
>>17110415
is spot on
No, it's not about a moral code. I want to tell him about it because i care about him
About the "bros" thing, if a male friend cheated I wouldn't protect his ass just for being a man.
>>17110657
>oh great, i assume you are the same anon who is advocating doing and saying nothing
I posted three times about what I think OP should do. If you're going to disagree with me at least read carefully enough to know what you're disagreeing about.
>his not being a moral arbiter
A very subjective point, depending on his motives. You criticize me for making broad generalities but if we're using your unit of measurement here you're doing the same thing
>>17110654
>They're all friends. They interact regularly.
Not once did OP say that. Its not even HIS friend. Its his girlfriend's friend boyfriend. I interact regularly with a lot of people, at what point does it become okay to meddle in their lives and punish them for behavior I deem unacceptable? Thats the question I asked and the one that no one has yet addressed. You guys are picking and choosing the points to respond to and you conveniently ignore all of the ones you don't have good answers to.
>don't try to handwave this into some generality, we have a specific situation we're dealing with.
Bringing up relative situations to compare to a specific one is not handwaving. I gave specific advice on a specific situation and now I'm expounding the idea to explain my thought process.
Thats is basic debate 101, kid. You're juggling logical fallacies and I can't keep up with you.
Argue against the actual points I made, not whine because I made them by bringing up anecdotal evidence to support my statements. Again, very basic.
>Yelling about how certain posters would react differently if genders were different is.... irrelevant even if true.
Its absolutely relevant when some people's only response to my argument is calling me a cuck. Someone made a statement, I brought up an observation I believe highlights the hypocrisy in that statement.
>Also, quit whining about "vitriol" when you ass-plode over every comment critical of you
Talk like an idiot and I'll treat you like one. Simple.
>>17109570
not your business, not your problem.
though you should probably say something to the girlfriend to the effect of "If you're that bored of fucking him maybe you should dump him first"
>>17111025
>They're all friends. They interact regularly.
>Not once did OP say that.
>Its not even HIS friend.
Like I said sir, you're doing mental gymnastics to try and warp the situation to your personal bias. OP is friends with the girlfriend's friend. OP's girlfriend is also her friend. "The Friend" has a boyfriend. OP knows all of the parties and their business without having to try. it's not like he snooped on them.
So the people are all connected to each other via friendship or dating. They are so connected that OP knows his friend's business with her boyfriend. it's reasonable to assume people who are all connected via friendship or dating would spend time with each other. Do you leave your girl at home every time you see your friends? Do you even date?
>You guys are picking and choosing the points to respond to and you conveniently ignore all of the ones you don't have good answers to.
I'm not responsible for your conversations with other people. I posted something to the OP, you jumped on it. That was all you. Be an adult and stop lumping me with other people as if I called you a cuck and stop pretending like you're some kind of victim. I wasn't talking to you and you decided you wanted to tell me off. That was all you.
Your entire "argument" (which wasn't an argument until you came in with an ass-splosion) is that OP should not:
> meddle in their lives and punish them for behavior [he] deem[s] unacceptable
You're logically mistaken because:
>OP's friend made it OP's business by making him aware of it
Whether she cheated when OP was around or told him directly, she involved him simply by allowing him to know. If she didn't want the info out there, she should have cheated more discretely. Now it's OP's choice what to do with HIS public information.
>Punish
OP wouldn't be punishing anybody because it's the COUPLE'S CHOICE what to do after the cheating comes to light. The boyfriend may just forgive again. OP isn't forcing anyone to do anything.
>>17111092
>OP knows all of the parties and their business without having to try. it's not like he snooped on them.
Again, the one doing mental gymnastics is you. OP never divulged the nature of his relationship with his girlfriend's friend's boyfriend and you're warping facts you don't know to suit you. Try again.
>it's reasonable to assume people who are all connected via friendship or dating would spend time with each other.
Again, an assumption you're making to support your point. OP provided none of this information. You're making conclusions based on the fact that without these conclusions your argument would be invalid. I'm sure thats very convenient for you but I'm not going to debate your points based on facts you pulled out of your ass.
> Be an adult and stop lumping me with other people as if I called you a cuck and stop pretending like you're some kind of victim. I wasn't talking to you and you decided you wanted to tell me off.
Have you been to 4chan before? I cited several people's posts in my reply and if you aren't smart enough to differentiate between the individual quotes I cited then thats not my problem. Stop getting defensive over things I obviously wasn't saying to you.
>Whether she cheated when OP was around or told him directly, she involved him simply by allowing him to know.
And thats where our opinions differentiate. Not to mention the fact that OP never mentioned HOW he came across the information. Again, you're assuming that OP's friend purposefully made him aware of the situation but I'm not going to assume because I don't know and neither do you. You're basing all of your arguments on information you don't know. Convenient, but stupid.
> OP isn't forcing anyone to do anything.
Yes he is. By meddling in this situation he's several degrees separated from he's forcing these parties into a confrontation. Maybe you think the "don't shoot the messenger" applies to any and all situations but I don't think it does.
>>17110839
I think your first step isn't telling him its telling your gf or the cheater that he needs to be told. having it come from you directly is a last resort.
if you ever come back you need to expand on why that isn't an option. additionally why do you even know about this second cheating instance? is your gf telling you about it? is the cheater going out w/ you and your gf and getting w/ people at bars?
how did they get you involved in this lying? why would they think it was something you would keep secret? did you know about the first cheating instance and say/do nothing?
>>17109663
Thanks for the pasta, cuckold.
Fun Fact: Cheating is OBJECTIVELY WRONG. There is no perception about it.
Wanna fuck someone else? Leave your partner.
>>17111725
Basically the cheater cheated with another friend of my gf and me, who then told what happened to another friend of ours who then told my gf who told me about it.
I'm closer to the cheater than her bf, but he is still a friend.
