Change what you don't like, keep what you do, and accept that you will always be a victim of circumstance if you do not steer the course.

>>17108588
You got yourself here and you can get yourself out if you work hard enough at it, without giving up when it seems unbearable.

Thank you for the contributions so far, bumping because I would perhaps like more input from people. I want to try to have a bit of a dialog here.

Bumping again.

>>17108588

>I have now become the person who i will be for the rest of my life

this is the least true thing I have ever heard.we have underlying 'currents' running through that influence us throughout our entire lives, but you by no means stop changing, even radically, at the age of 25. people are constantly growing, regressing, changing, and changing again.

>>17109092
I can see where you're coming from to some extent but I nevertheless feel trapped. How can I muster up the confidence and the will to force myself to change the way I think, the way I act, etc?

>>17109478

there is njo process to 'muster up'.

think of it this way
>if you dont have the motivation to do something, you wont have the motivation to do the thing that gives you motivation.

if you want to act a ceratin way just do it. how do you want to act versus how you act now?

>>17108588

25 is a hard time of life. You've gotta remember you aren't done changing as a person until your dead, that the cut-off point, after that its written in stone who you are. So don't dwell on dying, A. its boring, B. everyday you live you move further from who you are now.

Find course / opportunities in things you like and enjoy that branch out with something different.
>>17108595
>>17108612
as they said you have the power to change, just remember how much you hate yourself now, and everytime it seems hard use it as fuel. Its not a struggle just dedication to the crafting of you. Don't start with all you 'faults' at once, break them down, what interferes the most, what are the root problems etc etc.

Friends are difficult, as David Mitchell said it sucks that we make them easiest when we're young. Don't drop out of contact with them entirely, but find some new friends with a positive outlook in your newer interests. You have to make good friends otherwise you spiral inwards and get worse instead of improving.

your not worthless so long as seek and make effort to improve, and smile when the sun is lovely and warm.

>>17109522
Thanks for this, this is pointing me in the right direction I think. I really appreciate your perspective.

>>17108588
>and I have now become the person who I will be for the rest of my life.


I'm 30. My life is better than when I was 25. I made a couple of small changes (I started running and stopped smoking) and that snowballed into a whole lot of little changes (more hobbies, change of job, more active in engaging people socially) that make a big difference.

Being 25 is different than being 20. When you're 25 you are more mature, you understand how the world works much better than when you were 20. You do need to make an effort. But its far from over.

Fuck, the EXACT same thing happened when I turned 25 late last year, like 100% exactly what you said. I basically just realized all of a sudden that my life is a fucked up mess, that I basically wasted my life worrying about stupid shit that really doesn't matter, and I kind of couldn't believe who I became and what I'm like now that I'm fucking 25, a fucking grown ass man. Like It's really hard to explain, it's like I matured overnight but have absolutely nothing to show for it and know that in order to fix my life it was going to be fucking TOUGH but it HAS to happen, the way I've been living has been unacceptable. Since then I've started (very) slowly getting my shit together. I realized how sick i was of my garbage dead end job and later in the year I'm going back to study a skilled trade (electrician) as I have a family connection who recently said he willing to take me up as an apprentice, so thank God I'll actually have a real job. I also finally started going to a shrink for my depression, panic attacks and social anxiety and it's pretty early to tell, but some of what he said has resonated and I can see that it'll help if I keep at it. One of my very few friends also said that he wants to start going to clubs and I admitted how much I would suck at it but knew that I HAVE to do it as the fact that I'm very shitty with women bothers me a lot and that I have to stop isolating myself, I'm terrified of all this and don't know if it's going to work out but shits gotta change. I still have other massive problems to deal with such as my early stage alcoholism and overeating but for the first time in my life I feel like I have some real direction and that there is still some hope despite how awful I feel most of the time.

>>17110376
fellow 25 yr old here. i feel the exact same way though my life seemed to have taken the inverse turn from yours. i was an absolute degenerate that couldn't hold a job for more than 3-4 months. i'd make money, blow it all away on partying. i did it since i was about 22, 18-21 was just having fun but some shit happened to me at 22 that i just could not cope with so i partied. it basically ruined my studies, close friends, finances, everything. i got somewhere around 2500 in hospital bills and 20k in student debt and maybe 4k in my bank account atm. i have nothing material to show for my age - car, apt, electronics - nothing. but i have to change and am committed to it. this may sound stupid but i've been meditating for maybe 2 weeks now and it has changed my life way more than any therapy ever has. i haven't drank in only 4 days but for me that is something. today i went back to my old boss and apologized for leaving without notice. turns out he listened and understood and agreed to let me come back part-time at first. i am getting this shit back together.

remember op events have the capability to rewire our brains all the way into adulthood, for good and for bad. it's the reason complete squares turn into drug addicts in their 40s. my dad was an alcoholic until he mansalughtered a lady. he hasn't touched alcohol since and has changed a lot. don't let it get to that level with your struggles for you to have to change

>>17110448
>>17110376
Thanks a lot for your perspectives, it's really eye-opening to me. Didn't realize there'd be so many other people in the same position here.

I don't recall any literature that has 25 as the number where plasticity is cemented.

It is usually some far off age like 60 where it starts to really decline. No man, 25 is still young, no matter what people say. You have two decades to keep it that way

>>17110448
>>17110806
>>17110263
you guys are my heroes and my inspiration