Long story short, I was going to log into Facebook using my boyfriend's phone, curiosity got the best of me and I ended up reading a couple conversations between he and his best female friend. They've been friends for years.
I know that snooping is never okay, but I saw some things that really stood out to me.
1. He said I sort of "tricked" him into a relationship with me. I had asked him directly if he'd want to make things official and he agreed, so I have no idea why he told her that.
2. He told her that I was crazy after doing...something that he said he didn't mind all that much and sort of brushed off when I was with him. Before that, he had told her that he thinks that maybe all women are basket cases since I'm turning out to be one.
3. Told her that he had a thong, asked if she was jealous of his ass. I know it probably sounds stupid, but I know I wouldn't tell my best friend about that sort of thing.
I want to confront him about these things, but chances are, he'll be SUPER pissed off and might actually end things himself. Should I just forget about everything I saw and move on for the sake of our relationship? I mean, he's clearly REALLY happy with me despite all of my insecurities, so I'm not sure what to do here.
>>17104367
This is why I don't have facebook.
What you did was wrong. You can't ever close that door, no matter what you found. This is dirty intel, and you have to live with that.
>>17104367
Uh yeah, this doesn't salvageable. At all.
You want to earn your man you better learn your man.
>>17104367
There is no indication that he is cheating on you. None whatsoever. Everyone bitches about their significant others from time to time. What he's doing is not unusual. What exactly do you hope to gain by confronting him? Forget you ever saw it, and tell him to change the password on his phone.
>>17104367
I don't get why people dislike this. He shouldn't be mad if he has nothing to hide. Now you know he's talking shit about you. Leave. If you are in a relationship where the other talks badly about you why are you with them? That's not how it's supposed to work. The looking at his fb thing too.. Your partner should always be fine with that since in serious relationships you are supposed to be the other half. It's not like your their sister or friend you are more then that. Get a better guy.
>>17104384
Not cheating on me, but he's still techinically betraying me by telling her that I'm fuckin' bonkers and telling her that I "tricked" him into a relationship. That was when things first started out though, so maybe he just didn't feel comfortable with it at the time.
>>17104391
Do you not think everyone needs to have some privacy to be happy?
>>17104367
How long have you been together?
>>17104402
That is not betraying you.
>>17104413
Talking shit about your significant other? While it's fine to see the bad things in your partner and even knowledge them, this is something else.
>>17104410
Four months, almost five months. We were originally hooking up, then we started seeing a lot more of each other. Since we weren't really seeing other people, I asked if he'd want to be exclusive around the three month mark. Month four rolled around, and so I'd asked him if he wanted to make things official, he agreed.
>>17104421
It's... really not. If your expectation in a relationship is that your partner will never complain about you to his friends, you'd better find someone with no friends.
To be honest, I recognise the surface descriptions of the conversations here. Chances are you implied that if you didn't go official then you would be visiting 'Chad the ex' and as for 'crazy' - it's not too much of a stretch to imagine that a man would describe a woman as crazy now - is it?
Not even going there with the thong thing.
Frankly I think your hormones are raging today and in a few days you will have reset.
If you truly want to stay with him then STOP BEING MANIPULATIVE and try to tone down the cray cray
>>17104431
Holy fuck, this. By venting to your friends you keep your mental health
>>17104442
I didn't threaten to see someone else if he didn't agree to a relationship with me, I asked him if he wanted to, he said yes.
Yeah, maybe I am nutzoid, but my boyfriend still wants to be with me despite that.
>>17104453
>Yeah, maybe I am nutzoid, but my boyfriend still wants to be with me despite that.
Then what is the problem? Be happy with that.
>>17104453
>Yeah, maybe I am nutzoid, but my boyfriend still wants to be with me despite that.
Then you don't have a problem except you're crazy. Aren't we all?
Seems he just did some flirting and doesn't want to hurt her, since they are after all best friends. Happened to me before..
I get stupid like that sometimes, I try to please fucking everybody and end up hurting myself.
You could try to talk to him about it, perhaps not. The choice is yours. I wish I had the answers you seek.
>>17104367
>I know that snooping is never okay,
And now you know why. Good job.
>Before that, he had told her that he thinks that maybe all women are basket cases since I'm turning out to be one.
He's right.
>Should I just forget about everything I saw and move on for the sake of our relationship?
Yes. And stop being so neurotic, nothing you saw is remotely meaningful for your relationship.
The only bad sign is that you're snooping into his shit and getting worked up over minor things.
>>17104453
Here's a hint... If you find yourself replying to someone, 'its only a questiooonnnn', that is a firm indication you have put them under pressure..
Pressurizing concealed as innocence..
>>17104367
>He said I sort of "tricked" him into a relationship with me
>He told her that I was crazy after doing...something that he said he didn't mind all that much
sounds like he was joking, close friends tend to exaggerate things like that, it's a type of idle talk to make things interesting. Especially longtime close friend. They probably both know they aren't serious.
Overall, if you want to confront him, just tell him that you accidentally read these messages when you use his phone. My gf did this once and I chose to forgive her and also to get some sexual favors.
Breaking up is a bit too far though.
>>17104408
You don't hide things from your other half.
>>17104391
>>17104845
OK, I've got to say that the whole "your partner is your other half" idea is bullshit. I am a whole person, and I'm not interested in being in a relationship with anyone who does not also see themselves as a whole person. It's not only ok, it's necessary for people in a relationship to have their own interests, friends and hobbies.
Anyone who tries to deny me my privacy on the basis of "but I'm your girlfriend!" will no longer be my girlfriend.
>>17104870
That's cool but most people want serious relationships. Not flings
