How can I get a guy who appreciates me and treats me well? Or is it possible that some women are just so shitty that nobody will treat them well?
Treat yourself well.
Be more independent, and you can start choosing from the good ones.
>>17103828
What if I am so shitty that I can't get anyone good?
>>17103828
This.
Also, learn to spot shitty behavior.
>>17103828
*spoiler* you won't want to be with anyone because you'll realize that people are shit.
>>17103828
This. Respect is something where people will only ever give you as much as you give yourself. The people who are treated like shit are treated like shit because they treat themselves like shit (a big factor in which is them allowing other people to treat them like shit).
>>17103830
If you treat yourself well and learn to love and respect yourself then you won't be so shitty that you can't get anyone good.
In short, be less shitty.
>>17103836
Okay I see and feel like that is true. Atm I am dating a guy who is kind of ignoring me and forgot my birthday. I should just let him go but then I get this feeling that they are so amazing that I want them in my life. Kind of like oneitis i guess. Maybe ditching this guy could be my first step to respecting myself?
>>17103846
The fact that you have to ask is revealing of some dependent behaviour,
Learn to control your own life and make your own decisions or others will do it for you.
>>17103853
Thank you
>>17103846
>I get this feeling that they are so amazing that I want them in my life.
That feeling is called a fear of loneliness.
Being with someone simply because you think it's better than being alone is exactly the type of behaviour that will ensure you never have a fulfilling relationship, ever. If you don't feel respected by this guy and don't inherently want to be with him, then yes ditch him.
Work on your own life, your own ideas and goals and desires, your own hobbies, your own dreams, and learn to take care of yourself (physically, emotionally, and mentally), and you'll attract someone better. Or you can continue disrespecting yourself and keep attracting people who will also disrespect you.
>tinder
>/soc/
Just be out there.
>>17103861
Problem with this guy is that i don't feel respected but i really want to be with him. But you know, this is my life, i feel happier alone because then there is less stress. Always been happiest when i am not dating. Then i meet someone and think "WHAT IF HE IS THE ONE".
I am so messed up but i wanna be better and happy. Things i've done so far: left my cheating ex, started studying to get to university next year, cut contact with bad friends, made boundaries with my family (brother to stop lending money from me and mother to stop calling me while drunk).
I'm just venting here really
>>17103876
kek.
yeah just be out there, and everyone can fuck you over
>>17103876
Lol and i'd never use tinder
>>17103878
The One doesn't exist. This isn't the fucking Matrix. Get that idea out of your head as soon as possible and you'll live a happier life without it.
>>17103880
With such a negative attitude, no wonder you get treated like shit. Actual nice guys stay far away from people like you.
>>17103896
Wasn't me who posted that -op
>>17103896
I'm not her, but I stand by my statement.
Just being available doesn't mean people will treat you well...
...it just means your available,
>>17103896
>Actual nice guys
>>17103892
>no such thing as the one
>not the matrix
How can you know either of those claims are true?
Also, should i give a guy a chance if he starts respecting me when i say that it is an issue? Or do guys ever even do that, change?
>>17103903
Because there being the One would imply there's any hope and this being the Matrix would imply it's not a nightmare.
>>17103909
You can sit a guy down and tell him you don't feel respected and loved and he can apologise and love and respect you more, yeah.
He might also promise to love and respect you more but not actually do it, or he might just outright laugh in your face, but it doesn't hurt to talk about it. Just remember, actions speak louder than words.
>>17103909
You're missing the point.
Take other people out of the picture, live your own life or accept the shitty one you've been given.
>>17103919
Nono, i meant that in the future. Or should i be alone always? Don't think so
>>17103914
3dark5me
>>17103922
Why not?
Nobody needs anyone.
>>17103922
>Or should i be alone always?
You're doing it again >>17103853
>>17103899
Okay. But maybe you still are a negative, shitty person?
I think I see the problem now...
OP was led to believe that being happy means being a parasite and depending solely on other people.
>>17103932
>its negative and shitty to be cautiousand knowledgable of a legitimate problem
>>17103932
Maybe
>>17103830
>>17103825
How about stop being some entitled cunt and put some effort into yourself? hmm? I hate when shit women think they deserve top-tier men just because they have a vagina. That's what privileges gives you
OP is not giving us much to work with. Tell us about your last relationship. How was it? Why did it end? Were you happy?
>>17103943
I could always put up with shit guys and make myself better and then leave the shit guy for some proper guy
>>17103945
I wasn't happy, he cheated on me for two years and i broke up with him but it was hard but i am very proud that i did it.
>>17103949
>I could always put up with shit guys and make myself better
That's like stabbing yourself in the leg whilst preparing for a race.
>>17103949
read that again and cosider the following post: >>17103954
>>17103956
Nah, i wasn't serious. There are some proper advice here but not this >>17103943
>>17103954
Okay. That's sad to hear. Hopefully you will find someone better.
That being said, are you a catch? Do you deserve a top quality guy? Do you have the looks, personality, etc?
>>17103959
>There are some proper advice here but not this >>17103943
How is that not proper advice? I'm telling you to get better. Fuck off. If you expected "aww don't worry a good man iz juuuuuussssttt around the corner. Never settle! You are a wonderful beautiful woman! You go girl" then you came to the wrong place. If you're a shit woman, then you gewt shit men. Women can't get it into their fucking heads and blame men for A-L-L their relationship problems. Improve your looks, attitude, clothing, and get a job/school and don't bitch about it so much. It's steps to achieve for more.
>>17103966
I don't have the looks but personality yeah. I don't have requirements about guys looks, i just want someone who can be loyal, honest, good hygiene, similar worldviews etc. Not looking for a chad. I don't want some partyboy.
>>17103967
Wasn't so much what you said, but how you said it.
>>17103969
How old are you? What's wrong with the usual, going out to look for guys, having activities, dating sites?
>>17103971
I'm 23, and nothing wrong with those things, but the problem is not that i can't get any guy. I want a good guy. So i think what i should do is improve myself, not physically really but other ways. I'm a doormat.
>>17103825
What do you have to offer? What can you offer a guy who treats you well you slut?
>>17103978
Pussy
>>17103980
The real good guys don't give a shit about pussy.
Sucks for all the girls looking for them.
>>17103973
Well, yea, that's the idea. Everyone wants a top class partner. You need to be able to compete with other girls for the best guys.
>>17103987
Wut? All guys, good or not, want pussy.
>>17103987
>The real good guys don't give a shit about pussy.
>>17103990
But you make it sound like that only the ones with 10/10 looks and lot of money and all are the only ones who are good guys. Someone who is not so handsome can't be a good guy? I just want a partner who respects me, loves me, doesn't cheat, is nice to me.
>>17103993
>>17103994
They're all by themselves, building spaceships and painting masterpieces. They've abandoned the custom of relationships. Nobody hugs them and they will probably destroy the world.
I don't know if this helps at all, but sometimes I can be "cold" to my significant others, especially when dating starts. The reason for this, I think, is a fear on my part of being "too clingy", or suffocating, thus driving them away.
This sometimes hurts their feelings, which sucks. I tend to immerse myself in my art, or work, or hobbies, and sometimes I end up not texting back until 6 hours later or whatever.
I think a lot of men have trouble opening up because of this, they've been told a lot that it could turn women off them if they stop being a challenge, or if they become too vulnerable, or if they complain too much. A lot of women see this behaviour as lacking respect, not liking them, etc. when in fact it's just men being unsure of themselves or their position in the relationship.
The step to solving these issues, as always, is opening up a dialogue. Communicate. Tell him of you feel. Forgetting your birthday was kind of shitty, tho.
>>17104034
Actually helped. I hate it when people say that all guys will text you non stop if they like a girl. If a guy doesn't do that he is not into you.
He made up to the birthday thing but he is not very experienced and he is kinda shy about some things too.
I love to help people and that is one reason why i don't want to just give up on him. He is scared that i will get bored of him like other girls have, probably because of this. But cool to hear different perspectives.
>>17104042
Guys will sometimes stop texting for a bit to gauge the reaction.
I see, I see. I can see how lack of experience comes into it, but you gotta be there for your girl's bday, make sure it doesn't happen again. It's good that he made it up, tho. I forgot the date for my current gf's bday two months in, but I made it up on the actual day.
It's good to help, just make sure you don't become his nurse, don't neglect yourself.
>He is scared I will get bored of him.
I empathise with this loads, I can get that in my head a lot, hence my avoidance every now and then w/ gfs.
