Is it a red flag?
Yes.
As a female who historically has had more guy friends than female friends, yes.
I stopped hanging out with all dudes when I was about 18 and realized they were all trying to have sex with me.
I just want a friend who won't try to fuck me. ):
No.
I've been happily married for well over a decade, and I still have more male friends than female. I just don't like hanging around other women, they're too catty and judgemental. My husband has known this about me since we were dating and has no worries. He actually agrees with me. I have one good female friend, and she provides more than enough female drama for me.
It really depends on the woman's personality, though. There's women who like hanging out with men for attention, and then there's women like me, who just prefer the company of men because it's more fun and waaay less drama.
>>17100751
huh. That's something my married brother would feel very insecure about. Maybe he is just paranoid though
>>17100711
>I just want a friend who won't try to fuck me. ):
I don't know if that's really possible, the only female friendships I have where I don't even secretly want to get with them are professional contacts and relationships, people I work with
>>17100678
Honestly, from my experience with being around girls who do, yes. They're usually beta orbiters who are trying to be best buds with her so they can get some and she likes the attention they give. They're red flags just like tattoos and colored hair.
>>17100751
>who just prefer the company of men because it's more fun and waaay less drama
>>17100751
>catty and judgemental
You say that but you're using a negative blanket statement on all women (quite catty) and judging them off of what I assume were only a few experiences. At best all you have is prejudice.
>>17100761
He's too paranoid. My husband and I are best friends as well as great lovers together, it would take a hell of a lot more than our friends to pull us apart. We actually take our vows seriously and totally trust each other. I can't imagine my life without him. And, the few times another guy who we're friends with has flirted with me, we just laugh about it and wonder if the guy realizes there's not a chance in hell.
>>17100768
>>17100766
Sounds like you both are incredibly insecure and overly jaded. That's your problem, not anyone else's.
>>17100774
huh. I've been around a lot of unhealthy relationships in my life and I think yours is one of the first really healthy ones I've seen
good on you
hope everything continues to work out for you
>>17100779
She's literally just relying on stereotypes to get her through life while not realizing she's just another stereotype. Your reply didn't contribute anything nor disproved either post.
>>17100711
It's true, I'm good friends with one of my little sisters girlfriend. I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought of her romantically, but I've never tried anything on her and have even pushed away the hints she's dropped at me a long time ago. I feel like she did that because she figured I was just after sex and didn't want me to be unsatisfied with the time I spent with her, she's just a little sister to me so I told her what's up and we've been close ever since
>>17100784
Well, the best advice about that I can give is to take your relationship seriously, and once you decide to devote yourself to someone and take the vows, hold that dear to your heart. Also, never jump into that kind of commitment without both of you knowing that it's the one. My husband and I dated for 2 years before we got engaged, and then lived together as fiances for another two years before we got married. The best day of my life was seeing him standing at the end of that aisle. No one else there mattered, just the two of us. And we still feel the same way. And honestly, it just gets better with age. Even the sex is better now, because we don't have any inhibitions with each other after all this time. If one of us wants something kinky or particular, we just say it.
>>17100761
I mean of any gender. The last two women I tried to make friends with attempted to hook up with me. I just want a friend. :c
>>17100791
I don't care about proving or disproving anyone's post, I'm sure of my own situation, so what other people think isn't really important.
As a woman with traditionally masculine interests, I hang out with guys a lot, but all of my close friends are female.
I hate it when women imply all other women are Mean Girls stereotypes and they couldn't possibly find another girl as cool and laid-back as them so they just HAVE to hang out with guys. No.
>>17100779
To be taken seriously you need to work harder to show that your reasoning (if exists) doesn't sound like lazy labeling. Or perhaps you could just learn how to use ad hominem less blatantly but in that case, don't expect civilized discussion.
>>17100830
See>>17100816
I came here to answer OP, not to have pointless arguments with people with obvious chips on their shoulder.
The women who claim they hang out with dudes over other women because "all women are catty and have way too much drama" are always the most catty drama filled bitches in the city.
>>17100863
>post written by catty, easily offended female, ladies and gentlemen
>>17100870
>reply written by a woman with no self awareness
>>17100845
>pointless arguments with people with obvious chips on their shoulder
FYI this >>17100830 was my only post in this thread so far.
I just find your way of thinking amusing, perhaps you are offended by other anons' posts (which is indeed filled with the usual abrasive remarks) and feel the need to return the insults by keep making claims and projection about their characters. (A person with nothing to prove doesn't have this need).
But that wouldn't necessarily make you better than them, would it ?
>>17100877
Keep trying, this is going nowhere fast.
>>17100891
Just like your average woman's train of thought.
>>17100889
Never said I was better than anyone, just gave the details of my own experience. My assumptions about other posters are based on the vitriolic replies I received, which isn't any different than most threads here. You seem to really feel the need to pick an argument, which is unnecessary and overkill for the posts I made. I don't know if you're just an unpleasant person or have a chip on your shoulder about happily married people or what the problem is, since you haven't done anything but bitch.
>>17100913
Now you are just being paranoid when I wasn't even a part of your argument. I don't really care about the issue you were on about, but I have some observations.
I call what you did earlier lazy labeling and ad hominem because it really is. And you re still doing it. You probably think I am not allowed to call it out but that's just hypocritical. You just did it to others.
You don't sound like a secure person who doesn't want to get into arguments at all. See, if I were similar to you I would make projection about your character right here.
>>17100751
Found Sloth
>>17100894
#GOTEM
>>17100678
Yes it is OP. Unless you're someone like >>17100711
My sister even was like this and she stopped hanging out with them for the same reason.
If your gut instinct tells you something doesn't feel right, then it's bad news. If it was okay, you'd be aware of it without having to think.
I speak from experience, OP. My first girlfriend, who I recently broke up with, is like this. 18 yo. Girl gamer. She used to be super Christian and then her family rejected the religion so she's still kind of coming out of her shell. I started dating her and she didn't know what she wanted. She was saying she really wants love/serious/long term relationship etc. Only had guy friends. Fought for my attention for so long then realized a relationship isn't what she wanted. Upon asking, she said "your attention didn't fill the emptiness" I said what did? She said "Being single but still being with guys" Basically, she's a budding slut.
>>17100995
>Basically, she's a budding slut.
What the fuck happened to civilization?
>>17101001
I don't fucking know but it kills me. She was honest the whole time too. I was just the one to make her realize she's a slut, which is something I feared at the start. I saw all the red flags and listened to none. I took a chance and lost. Without strong values to hold her, she is following society and just being a slut. She doesn't even know it yet. Right now, she just wants to be "free" and meet and "kiss" guys. I told her you're most likely going to end up sleeping with many. She's too stupid to realize her libido is going to shoot up at around 20. She said "That's the problem. If I want to fuck a bunch of guys fuck yeah I'll do it"
>I know what I want and don't want now though
>I want to be loved
>But I don't want to be tied down
>IDK I'm weird
No, you're not. You're just the most basic bitch I've ever fucked with. Someone kill me.
>>17101023
>I want to be rich
>I don't want to do the work
>I want real love with a sel respecting man
>I still want to be a slut
....It's the same shit
People have no will power anymore
>>17100779
BUTTHURT ROASTIE DETECTED
>>17101038
I feel I've lost a lot of self respect after this. This was way more fucked than I imagined. I fought so hard only to realize she is not longer who I was with months ago. It hurt to watch your view of a girl change completely before your eyes in one conversation. It was like watching the one I loved die in front of me. She's gone, and now there's this bitch I don't care about instead to replace her, yet I still find myself missing her.
Not sure where OP is but good luck to you and anyone else in a relationship.
>>17101064
I mean obviously she is going to regret it later
But idk what you can do.
>>17101135
>I mean obviously she is going to regret it later
>I mean obviously she is going to wish she never did it
>I mean obviously she is going to want something real
>I mean obviously she is going to realize what she had is what she wanted
>I mean obviously she is going to come back to me and want to try again with a straight mind
>I mean obviously this is how things work out
>Right?
A man can dream.
>>17101147
Oki doki
OP here. I've been dating this girl for a few months. Ive always known most of her friends are guys but now its starting to get tiring to think about. The fact that she doesnt have a single close female friend to confide her problems and stresses of life that she cant necessarily confide in with me makes me nervous. Shes likely going to any of those guys for advice and reassurance, and the worst part is ive never met any of them.
The good thing is that about half of them have girlfriends. The other half have been friends for a long time.
Still. I don't like it.
>>17100678
Yes she feels insecure about being alone and that is why they likes to have a harem of beta orbiters. Also dont be surprise if she fucked them too and keeps them around for Plan B.
I think it really depends on the girls personality. If they are just hanging around chatting all the time probably not a huge red flag (especially if these guys have their own partners)
However I think it is true that girls use this for attention. I knew a girl who hangs with a large circle of guy friends and she's fucked 90% of them. Hops back from guy to guy, creates a TON of drama in this friend group.
I think you really need to take it on a case by case basis though, if you simply look at the fact that she has guy friends that reeks of insecurity and you may need to focus on yourself more before dating someone.
>>17100779
Nice projection. Also specially married women should not have guy friends. Your husband is an idiot for letting fool around with other men when your obligations are to be at home with your husband and
kids. How would you like it if your husband had female friends that he when out with.
>>17100751
>>17101265
Has it ever crossed your mind that 90%+ of the men you hangout with would fuck you given the chance?
>>17100678
It can be. But needs to be seen in context.
it is possible that she is an attentions slut , which can imply deeper family issues.
It doesn't mean red flag. Just tread carefully.
>>17100766
I do. I think guys should appreciate that.
>>17100711
Never going to get that from men, honey. Even a lot self proclaimed gay guys will try to fuck you. Have straight female friends and don't go for the bisexual women friends, they're usually cancer.
>>17101295
I don't think you understand how red flags work...
>>17100948
>you don't sound like a secure person
>I call what you did earlier lazy labeling
>I would make a projection about your character right here
Do you even think before you type, or are you so wrapped up in your little pinhead that you can't see what kind of bullshit you've convinced yourself of? Here's a tip, quit worrying about other people and focus on your own interpersonal relationships, that would help you a lot more than projecting on 4chan.
>>17101265
>Your husband is an idiot for letting fool around with other men when your obligations are to be at home with your husband and
>kids. How would you like it if your husband had female friends that he when out with.
1. He does have female friends
2. How fucking insecure are you?
3. I hate to say this, but with an attitude like that, you'll never know what it's like to actually be in a happy, secure marriage.
4. You sound like a religious fundamentalist, just saying.
5. Your beliefs are all fucked up.
>>17101290
This is right unless you are fat. Even if you are fat, this is right.
In all seriousness, unless the guy is repulsed by you, he'd fuck you if he had the chance. There's an easy way to disprove this, but you won't because you know it to be true.
>>17100678
Yes, I have a female friend who is married and has been since before we met. I am not married but in a relationship. I can tell she is attracted to me. I am more attracted to her intellectually than physically, but it's strong enough that I'd love to fuck her. I am actually not convinced I couldn't fuck her if I found the right moment, but wouldn't try in order to preserve the friendship. Now if she initiated it, you'd have use a tow truck to get my dick out of her.
>>17101290
Who the fuck cares? It's not like I don't know what men's nature is. Luckily, the men I'm friends with are also friends with my husband (because we come as a pair), and they'd never try to interfere with that. Not only would I shut them down, but so would my husband. No, we all get along great, go play golf, frisbee golf, basketball, do brewery crawls, go out to dinner, and I routinely buy cigars for everyone. I just don't get along with most other women the same way. Like I said before, I have a very good female friend, and that's all I need. If I need to go shopping or whatever, I do it alone. I have a shoe collection that would make other women's jaws drop, but I don't seek their approval nor do I want it, nor do I need their opinions on my life. I was raised to be an independent woman, and my parents have been married for 52 years now, so I'm firmly grounded in respect and care for my relationships. Frankly, some of you could learn an thing or two from me, but god forbid......
>>17101936
Is someone really a friend if they have ulterior motives, though?
If you weren't willing to shut them down, I promise they'd have no problem fucking you in spite of their relationship with your husband.
>>17100678
This is so contextual. A lot of people have simply said that it is but I do not believe that. There are many natural reasons for a girl to have more guy friends than girls. For one, she might have an unconventional hobby set for a girl which means it's easier to bond with guys. IE she might be a gamer, or she might like tabletop games, or something else which is traditionally a masculine dominated hobby. She might also struggle with the constant emotional highs and lows that come with some social circles.
It's an easy thing to be insecure about, but assuming you're seeing a girl or want to start seeing a girl who's friends are mostly men, you need to evaluate what her motives are and what her personality can tell you about her friendship choices.
>>17100863
This is true as fuck. My first few days at this new jon were chill as fuck. Then I meet one chick who is complete fire. She just starts going off and complains about all the drama going on. I figured maybe this was the true face of this place. Then a week later I find she got pissed off one day and left. And of course I still have noticed no drama. Go figure.
>>17101946
Who cares?
First of all, you can't do a single thing about what other people are thinking. You CAN control what you do, and live by your own standards.
I have no fucking idea whether our friends would have the hots for me or not, but as long as no one tries anything and respects my marriage, there's no problem.
You can't stop people from thinking things, the most important thing is to know yourself and mind your own business.
>>17102009
That's fine I just believe it raises red flags about you and I disagree that this is a good basis for a friendship. You say you can't control what other people think, but you can control who you associate with and the standards you hold to call someone a friend. If someone was willing to hurt my spouse to fulfill an urge they aren't really a friend. Also, if you can't control what other people think, it's silly for you to even be arguing here.
>>17102030
I'm not arguing here, just responding.
Also, since none of our friends have ever tried anything, I'm going to stick with my belief that they're stand up people. I'm not the person who assumed they wanted to fuck me and had no respect for my marraige, that was someone else. I find it strange that people keep trying to accuse me of arguing and trying to drag me through the mud just because I'm happily married and have mostly guy friends. There's not a single thing wrong with any of that. What's wrong with you people?
>>17102056
You're naive. You associate with men because you like the attention and I feel bad for your husband who you have practically turned into a cuck.
>>17102056
I actually agree with you, because you're an individual. However, the jaded opinions of the majority of this thread aren't exactly unfounded. We have a huge cheating and infidelity culture, with over 30% of Western adults confessing to cheating at some point in their life. Add to that a person who has more opportunities than most, and so you probable cause. Again, it's not a fair assumption, since the entire thread is so skin deep, it's not as if the rest of the thread is being wholly unreasonable either.
>>17102071
You're the fucking naive one what the fuck comment is this? How insecure do you have to be that your partner speaking to men makes you a cuckold? and how insecure must you be that you perceive masculine value to women as a purely sexual outlet?
>>17102071
You sound like a petty, insecure person, and I feel bad for you since you have such a distorted view of real relationships.
>>17101163
>ive never met any of them.
welp we got ourselves a real red flag
look OP, you know what kind of gf i never introduced to my friends? the ones I wasn't really into and was sorta embarrassed and looking forward to moving on from. the kind that includes gf's i cheated on.
the gf's i snap introduced as often as possible to my best friends? those were the ones i felt so lucky to be with and wanted to show off and never ever thought of cheating on.
the only guy friends thing, isn't a strictly red flag, i agree with your feeling that stupid female friends who just lie and tell your gf what she wants to hear are useful and great for your own sanity as her bf.
but you've never met any of these dudes? that's sketch as fuck. esp if she is still talking to and/or hanging out with them on the regular
>>17102084
>>17102089
When you bury your husband (he likely will die from shame), I'd love to take bets on how fast you shack up with one of your "friends".
>>17100678
No? All my guy friends are beta-ish geeks who like video games and Doctor Who and shit but they're not out for my equally autistic vag. Some of them have girlfriends who don't share those interests so I don't bond so easily. I have no idea how they get gfs who are attractive and seem socially adept, or rather I don't get why these girls would *ever* date them.
>>17102082
You are right about one thing, happy marriages are not the norm any more, which is just sad. That doesn't make my experience invalid, though. Like I said, people could learn a lot from my husband and myself. We've actually joked around a few times about writing our own relationship book, because we've been married for what passes for eons in this day and age.
I understand people's pessimism about relationships, but I don't understand their need to attack people who have it figured out.
>>17102102
You are a sad, sad little person. Your post doesn't bother me, but makes me feel a certain amount of pity for you.
>>17102102
Even this is an arbitrary comment. You vacuous walnut. I agree that many of her male friends have probably got sinister motives, until they act on them she can't really address them. If she does break up with her husband and end up dating a friend, that's LITERALLY ADULT ROMANCE.
Oh shit, I'm single. Hey this guy is nice, I'll date him.
The reality is that as long as she turns down unrequited advances, she is doing nothing wrong. If their mutual male friends are willing to fuck up their relationship that's not her fault or problem, all that matters is her handling of the matter when she gets the chance to address it, and her having male friends in the first place doesn't predispose her to cheating by default.
Fuck you're a bitter dude.
>>17102056
Why dont you call your "guy friends" right now and ask them if they want sex. Lets see how much of a friend they are :^) they are just wating for the right opportunity when you are emotinally vulnerable so they can fuck you and it happens all the time.
>>17102120
Yep, nothing disrespectful at all about having options to replace your husband right there on the backburner. Sounds healthy to me. Whores everywhere
>>17102131
Having friends doesn't mean she see's them as a back up plan. Having friends can also mean she has friends, people who she shares common interests with or gets along well with, who arbitrarily happen to be men. It does not innately speak to her motives, and your cynical assumption that it does is honestly becoming so asinine it might be a comedy.
>>17102120
What exactly is he bitter about?
>>17102157
Women in general? Can you not perceive the cynicism about peoples motives which is clearly based on a fundamental expectation that the majority of men want to fuck the majority of women and the majority of women hold male friends only to exploit that?
>>17102124
>call my friends and ask them for sex
What kind of fucked up little world do you live in? That's not even a reasonable hypothetical. First off, I'd never do something like that. Secondly, if I did, they'd probably think it was a joke.
And, you know what's even funnier? My husband is actually on a business trip right now, 2 states away, and guess what I'm doing? I worked this morning, and after that, I've done 6 loads if laundry, cleaned the kitchen, went to the grocery store, and then sat here and listened to all you bitter assholes try and force a subject / situation that doesn't exist. I really hope this thread is still around when he gets home tomorrow night, even he'd be amazed at the plight of the pessimists.
>>17102165
To the contrary, I have been in a healthy relationship for over seven years. We just wouldn't consider your arrangement because we are realistic about how men and women relate. Your spouse doesn't have to be your universe, but you should give up whoring around whether it be emotional or physical out of respect for them.
You may joke with your husband about writing a relationship book, but he has either simply given up on your virtue or doesn't mind being the butt of jokes amongst your "male" friends when you two aren't around. I am not trying to fuck you hence why I can be honest. I'm confident that if I knew you, we'd be great friends.
>>17102194
I feel sorry for your SO, because their trapped in a relationship where they're not allowed to be themselves.
You don't know me or my husband, so don't make assumptions about our relationship. I guarantee if he read what you just wrote, he'd want to kick your ass for be so disrespectful.
>7 years
Opinion discarded, come back and we'll talk when you've been married for 18 years.
>>17102203
That's not fair. 18 years of cuckolding him should really only count for partial credit.
>>17102120
This why males need to have a plan b just like women do. cant trust these hoes.
>>17102205
>this much obvious bait
You'll have to try harder, loser.
>>17102107
but do/have you introduced your significant others to them?
that's the important nugget OP forgot in the OP that leads to some of his concern/uncertainty, he's never met any of these dudes
>>17102213
And yet you responded so I think you recognize some truth in the comment. Listen, if he likes being a cuck and disrespected and you like being an attention whore then more power to you both. Live and let live. That said, I am trying to help OP so let's not pretend the two of you represent a model, healthy relationship.
>>17102223
There's absolutely zero truth in anything you've said. It's literally laughable. I didn't even bother to finish reading your comment, I barely got past the first sentence before rolling my eyes. I'm sorry that you've obviously had such shit tier relationships. Sorry you're so jaded and fragile you can't fathom what a truly strong marriage is like. Perhaps you should take some time to explore the world outside of whatever weird parameters you've decided to set for yourself (and apparently everyone else), and realize there's more to life than whatever narrow and suspicious definitions you've set. Seriously, try to learn something here, because the only person you're affecting right now is yourself. I'm all good, and so is my marriage.
>>17102247
The lady doth protest too much
>>17102177
That is right you are not going to do it because you know i am right. Also i hope he reads this because i think he is a cuck for having an attention whore as a wife who needs validation from "male friends"
>>17102259
>assuming I need validation from anyone
Do you even understand what friendship is? Because I really don't think you do.
>>17102258
Nice try, but pass. Bad, bad bait.
When did /adv/ turn into /r9k/?
What about the inverse? I have ZERO male friends who are close, but I would consider myself to be friendly to my friends' boyfriends. Would that be a red flag that I don't hang out with both genders?
>>17102271
The fact that you continue to object not only confirms the insecurity of your position, but it also suggests your need for attention from the men on /adv/. The good news is that none of us can fuck you so at least you can be sure what the relationship is predicated upon for once. I am happy for your husband's sake.
>>17102278
Depends on how friendly. If it's just being social you are fine.
>>17102282
It's hilarious you think that highly of yourself.
You're nothing special, honey. I'm just momentarily bored.
>>17102285
But would guys think it's strange that I have no male friends?
>>17102286
Your male friends not there to keep you company? I bet if you called one they'd come running.
>>17102287
No, no competition so it's probably preferred
>>17102297
Okay. Thanks anon.
>>17102291
I don't need anyone to keep me company except for one person.
Friends are friends, but even then you don't want them around all the time.
You may as well let it drop now, it's not as if you're going to suddenly shake anyone's foundation. Also, your Spanish Inqusitional fun is about to run out, because it's almost time for me to get started on dinner. Too bad no one actually learned from real people's experience, ah, at least I tried.
>>17102308
Well, at least you cook him dinner
>>17102312
You don't read well.
>>17102318
My apologies, I guess it's obvious you must be cooking for your male friends
What the fuck with this argument over someone's husband, take your cat fight elsewhere, no wonder if why neither of you can be friends with other women.
>>17102278
Men and women were never meant to be friends in the first place our interest are way too different. Women care about things like makeup,fashion, and shopping. Men do not care that as much and are interested in things like sports,beer, and Porn. Being just freinds with any guy is a red flag.
>>17102338
I kinda have to agree with you on that. The only reason why I would care for any of those things would be if I were in a relationship with someone that cared about that. My older sister thinks I'm missing out on the male perspective in my life.
>>17101936
>i've never even kissed anyone before
>I'm still qualified to give advice to married women on how to have healthy relationships
hahahaha
why you respond to these people seriously is beyond me. Please don't waste your time further
>>17102338
Not sure if you're serious or if you're just retarded
>>17102620
no, don't you know 3.5 billion people only like a very specific range of things and the other 3.5 billion like another very specific range of things
another thing was people seem to be confusing actions with intent
it's like looking at someone who donates 5 million to charity. They'll point at that and say 'well they didn't really mean it!'. But they still did this good thing, intent doesn't matter. All that matters are your actions in the end. You can have all the best intentions in the world but if you never translate that into action you have done nothing, you're exactly like a person with bad intentions who does nothing.
>>17101265
Why are my tax dollars going to fund wars against ISIS and the Taliban when guys here in the U.S. now think like this?
>>17102338
Go move to the middle east you Dark Ages piece of shit.
>>17100894
Rekt
>>17101802
Nice greentext, I see this is probably the only way you know how to communicate, which is lazy insults and labeling. It has been proven again and again ITT. You know I start to think the other posters are more correct about you than you are about them.
