Thanks for the fucking finger herpes you cunt
Were you one upping me
I didn't even choose my place there
I only wanted you
That was all I need
anyway while you may be busy fucking your way around the town, while we get it on
I'll be gone
Bye then, love
Thanks for being everything
When you're gone
my world and happiness is destroyed
Where ya at?
Intake appointment for anxiety/mood disorder outpatient today. Mum has surgery around the same time.
Worried and cautiously optimistic at the same time. Hoping the surgery goes well and am happy that someone noticed I needed a little more of an in-depth treatment option than what I had to deal with for the last year.
I want to feel like a person again.
I just want the delusions to end. I can recognize them as delusions, but they still linger. People's babies keep dying, and on some level I've managed to convince myself that it's my fault that the babies are dying, and it makes no sense. But I feel so guilty. Like people are being punished for knowing me.
I want to live inside my dreams, because I don't have the power to bring them into the real world. Not that I really need to bring cannibals and sadists into the real world, but at least in my dreams, I'm a hero.
I think I hate myself
You're a fucking coward.
So what if we could never be an item, I still liked to be around you and have a good time. You are such a bitch. It still stings thinking about you. I want to know if life is good to you and if you resolved those 'personal problems' you had with your mom but wouldn't elaborate.
I would give my left fucking arm right now being with you and spending quality time to forget the shit I'm currently going through, but you're doing heaven's know what acting like I never existed.
You're a coward and a coldhearted bitch. If life isn't good to you right now, I'm fucking glad. If your parents still treat you like shit, I'm fucking glad. I try to be the better person and wish you all the best, but the truth is I hope you're as miserable as possible.
>>17100083
>kek
Maybe you should tell her. That shit can stay dormant for years.
>lost virginity years ago
>no one since
>found out I got herpes years later.
I'm over it now
I am half tempted to message her to remind her that the offer for coffee still stands. She has said "I"ll have to see, I usually play it by ear everyday. Lol"
Essentially a no, without completely sealing it of.
I need to get help.
D,
I'm sorry for lying to you about what happened on Friday. I feel terrible taking advantage of your trust, but the fact of the matter is, I can't have you telling my roommates that I'm the one who did it. You know them every bit as well as I do, so hopefully you know what I mean when I say they're crazy and I can't run the risk of giving them the chance to get revenge on me during the last week of the semester, especially when things have been hard enough for me lately. I'm still debating whether or not I should tell you the truth after the semester ends and I move out. I think you deserve to know the truth, but I'm not sure how you'll react, especially after knowing that I lied to you the first time around.
Again, I'm sorry, but this is the way things need to be for now.
R,
FUCK.
You know, I kinda knew it. I already had an idea that you were taken, but I guess I just wasn't prepared to find out for sure. I admit it: I have a problem. I have jealousy issues. I've been jealous ever since I found out that N (someone you don't know) has been taken as well, even though our relationship has never actually gotten romantic. IN MY DEFENSE, there's a big difference between being jealous and acting on jealousy, and I have never acted on jealousy before, nor do I plan to.
Maybe I'll get in touch with you sometime soon. There are some things I need to do first, but I will still do it. For some reason, I get the feeling that I don't have a ton of chemistry with you (which somehow makes me nervous), but still, it's worth a shot.
nothing has really changed
yes, i have moved to another place, yes i met new people, had new experiences, advanced in my field, did new shit, but still, nothing has changed when it comes to you
even though you are on the other side of this continent, even though i havent heard from you, or heard anything about you, i still love you. it will almost be a year, and im afraid to talk to anyone about this. only where i can do it are random obscure places on the internet, just like this imageboard.
hope you are doing well and would like to hear from you. but even if i dont, never mind, i guess ill live.
>>17100083
How many fingers is it on?
If it was just one finger I'd consider chopping it off and mailing it to her. I'd always be terrified to touch my own dick or someone else's vagoo ever again with the ol' herpesfinger.
Is Fernanda a real name?
How do you know she's dating?
Initials?
I'm. I'm not sure why I'm here
I don't know if he's in a relationship now is the truth
I want to know
So I can leave if so
And if not, I would always stay
Whatever the others say
I don't feel like the fun we all used to had. We became more estranged each day. I don't know why but I already feel bored with this fake friendship bullcrap. And I know at least one of you disliked me because you thought I don't want to keep this friendship going. That's kinda true, though. Sorry but I hate being judged when you don't know the true story. Like I said, maybe we're better off dead and follow our own path of happiness and fun.
But honetly I miss the old times.
I'm yours. You're mine.
I just want a little message, a letter, a postcard. An email. Just to know that you still care. If you care.
How will this pan out? Search and wish, so loud. Keep a candle burning. To each his own should learn. Before I turn in envy, I learn through sorrow.
Hey stupid ho! How's the Family Circle? Is this some kind of cult you're attempting to lead? I find it hilarious that a malignant narcissist who posts pics of his weapons arsenal on fb is preaching peace and love. Fuck you.
I know I won't see you tonight because you are pussy. Don't think I wont fuck with you in any way I can. I like to see you whine to the bouncer because I'm standing there staring at you. God, you're 9 years old. The fact that you can't deal with this situation shows me that you're used to targeting stupid bitches who just let you get away with your fuckboy bullshit.
Well, I'm not a stupid bitch. And if it's up to me to be the one to teach you not to fuck with women than so be it. Because this could all be handled so easily. Apologize to me. That's it. You can't do that then you're just a Charles Manson wanna-be manlet. You want to use your crossbow and gun on me? Go ahead. I won't flinch. Do your worst and go to back to jail where you belong.
Cheers!
Hey,
can we please see if this will work out this afternoon? Some may find it to be an odd match but if we delve into each other minds a bit further we may potentially be a good match for each other. D thinks this is a good idea, do you?
-B
I don't know what to think or how to feel anymore. I don't know if I love him anymore. I'm afraid and alone and hurting without him, but I'm afraid and alone and hurting with him too. I'm broken without him but I'm broken with him. I'm nothing without him and I'm nothing with him. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know. It's killing me.
So about a year ago I did something incredibly stupid and for a long time I felt real bad about it. I'm over it but I'm still hating on the fuckboy in question. Lately I've been fucking with him pretty badly and I've found it invigorating. I'm going through some real shit with my family now and it's too painful to focus on, so focusing on this assho gets out my frustrations in a "healthier" way. Hating him has become kind of a fetish with me, actually. But still it's better than hurting my family.
I feel like I'm going down a dark path. I never saw myself amounting to this. I broke up with her, but I feel I'm not moving on, although I feel much better than at the start. I feel everything I do, all my motivation, all my PROGRESS and self betterment I make in life is not genuine. It's not real. I feel it's all based on her, and her seeing it, and her wanting me again, and her being jealous of how I turn out, and initiating contact again with her some day for her things to be different. I feel like once that's over, I'll be empty and stagnant. I wasn't like this. I had motivation come from within me before. Now it's based on something as shallow and fleeting as this.
C,
Message me already.
I want to know if you care.
>>17101099
Initials?
T,
Message me already. Even if it's just to tell me that you don't care. I need to know.
My psychotic episodes as a child were fake.
Damn. First time I'm saying it.
>>17101108
What's your last initial first? I need to know if you are my c
>>17101133
Your initial first please
i know this is gonna sound incredibly stupid, but...
every now and then i'll just go through my social media (twitter, instagram, etc.) and "purge" it, e.g. delete old posts from months ago, getting rid of all traces, etc.
i just feel the need to clean myself up
but im worried about the "real" implications. i suck in social situations 'cause of simular reasons, always thinking over what i should say, how i should present myself, and weird things like choice of words and sentence structure, i HAVE to go over everything in my mind, i have to give it the go ahead. only when IM happy.
same applies to work ethic, etc. i failed a lot of tests in high school for some similar reasons, e.g. i would always over think what I was about to write down, and I would spend forever doing anything.
is this a bad thing, is there a name for it, and any way to "help" it? it's seriously starting to effect me, but is it just part of me, my character? i seriously get panicky sometimes about how i sent a message with a weird sentence structure or something equally stupid.
thanks, hope someone can understand
M,
write to me, write to me, write to me. I know you're on fb, c'mon. I'm bored. My date was shit. I miss you.
I was hoping for something because I thought he was interested. My world shattered when I found out he was seeing someone. It should've been me.
There's this guy I talk to who's always super flirty with me. I kind of wanted to date them since we've known each other for a while and asked them if they were interested in me but was just like "lol nope don't like you i'm just nice to everybody bye".
I really felt like someone was interested in me for once too.
Time to commit seppuku.
You still owe me for those barbecue lays you stole from me in highschool, you fat fuck.
I think you're pretty neat and interesting and would like to be your friend, but every conversation we have feels like you're trying to show off either how quirky or smart you are. I get it, you have a wide range of interests and are really into technology stuff. I do think it's neat, even if I'm not personally interested in it, but all of our conversations end up looping into "look at all this unusual tech stuff I like", and it's just too hip for me, my guy. It's hard to have a conversation when it's all just me being a clueless idiot, you KNOWING I'm clueless and still insisting on bringing it up, and then everything just sort of fizzles when I can only say "that's neat" or get vaguely condescending responses when I ask how something works or why you enjoy it.
>>17101301
I like you. You can reject me if it'll make you feel better.
>>17101042
This is interesting and well written. I feel very much the same way about people. And I think this is where the coin gets flipped, so to speak.
It's like these people you "work" for who reject you are giving you energy after they stole from you. Or maybe we're taking it back from them all on our own, and giving it to ourselves. Through our labors. So who is the "user" and who the "usee?" It's seriously debatable.
This is the theme that is at the very heart of the greatest novel of the 20th century "Lolita" of course. Read it. Because Humbert Humbert deals with this exact "dark path" in his obsession with Dolores Haze. Who is the artist and who is the muse? It becomes murky at a certain point.
>>17101328
Dude if you like me let's just get married or some shit.
>>17101322
Oh honey he likes you and is just showing off for you. Guys do that, and it IS kind of irritating. Now it's funny to me. But just be admiring. He's excited now and he wants you to admire him, probably because he thinks highly of you. Later if it works out he'll be able to reciprocate…
>>17101338
OK. Busy next Friday?
What a fucking gong show show.God, show me a little light at the end of the tunnel. This is getting ridicules. Sorry for all the sins.
I am so naive. Despite being cynical and everything.
Everyone is a hypocrite pos, 'in time you will have a girlfriend' yet they have someone as soon as their previous relationship ended.
>>17100980
Tell him you want to be something. If you both feel like shit at least try to make it work.
>>17101338
>>17101362
Pls respond.
>>17101378
I didn't. often I have gone several months or a year between relationships. I once went ten years between relationships. the first 4-5 years were by choice. after that it was my shit personality getting in the way.
>>17101423
Sure. I'll meet you at the place at the end of your street. 5pm. You know the place.
This bitch gave me warts when I was 19. We stuck it out for a few years after but it became too shitty.
It's been 10 years. I still miss her.
I try and reach out. Get nothing.
Still love her to death.
>>17101435
;-;
5everalone
>>17101465
its ok, you can drive there in your truck.
I'm very likely hearing back from my first choice university within the next few days. Hoping like hell I'll get in.
things from the past come back to haunt me
reminds me i shouldnt ever tell anybody about myself
My wife's anxiety is making me depressed.
I feel like I will never be happily in love. I have several hobbies, make music, art, do some sports and gardening and have many reliable friends. I meet new people through projects for refugees, uni and friends constantly and am able to have interesting conversations with them. Yet only very rarely I meet girls I find interesting (maybe two or three a year). And they either have boyfriends or a good excuse for not starting something serious (e.g. moving abroad for a year or don't want to start a LDR in our country). So I'm wondering if it's just bad luck that for the last many years any girl I have wanted to get to know better and maybe get into a relationship with has rejected the idea... I fear it's not helping that I'm pretty unexperienced sexually and turning 30 this year.
At the same time I think it's pretty ungrateful to be sad and heartbroken about this, when you live in a first-world country, have nice family and friends and the chance to get university education, the best food and water and every medical issue taken care of.
>>17100083
Hahaha op has finger herpes ewwwww
Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage!
>>17101110
Initial from?
>>17101561
Good idea. Especially considering the things in your past, which could come back to haunt you.
>>17101768
Did you already message me?
Time's a-wasting.
I just slept 26 hours straight.
yuo.
http://apollo809.tumblr.com/post/143758233598/020516
I wrote a journal today about victimization and how realizing I was a victim allowed me to become more of a whole person.
(I've started to keep my journals on Tumblr because that way I have an anonymous-ish place to keep my thoughts where I know I can find them again. I always lose the notebooks and stuff I used to keep my journals in.).
It's like a diary, except you don't have to update every day.
Well, me, look on the bright side, you're still alive and capable of functioning.
Take pride in that and keep going. Life is hard but you will prevail if you fight for it.
>>17101469
I don't live on a street.
>>17100083
>thanks for the fucking finger herpes you cunt
Okay, that needs to be on a cake. Yep.
Thinking of quitting my job tomorrow but haven't made my mind up.
It's fucking shit to not have a spine.
Fuckit , me and them. I hope I die soon.
My friend who is also friends with the girl that rejected me is basically saying to just be friendly with her, and down the line it could fall into place. I wonder just how friendly with her he is. Maybe she mentioned something to him that indicates that it may work out between us
>>17101561
What types of things?
I'm still really fucking lonely. It seems like everywhere I look in this city I see couples everywhere and I just want that too. I wish I could be happy alone, but sometimes it feels like the world was build for two.
>>17102262
I feel what you feel man.
>>17102283
Femanon. I feel totally pathetic and naïve and stupid for feeling this way though.
>>17102298
I'm male...
>>17102306
I was saying that I'm a femanon.
>>17102310
My bad, during the day i feel it less but during the night it hits like a truck.
>>17102322
I totally agree. Sometimes I just want someone to talk with and to cuddle. I recently watched a documentary on loneliness and that hit me in the feels.
Well, you say you're attracted to women now, and you got a haircut and all that shit, but I miss you. I miss you a lot. I'm sorry I had to leave.
>>17102327
Did you feel lonely before watching it?
Don't wait too long to say something if you do want to. That is if im not repulsive to you.
>>17102225
things about myself telling people i just have met
people will not shut up even if you beg them to keep it a secret
even people you thought of as friends
even people you thought of as familiy
im going to shut myself in my room again for a few years
>>17102344
Of course.
>>17102479
Try going outside for a walk, that tends to help me a little, would go for one myself right now but it's night already over here.
>>17102500
I'm actually waking right now. Yeah. It's 1:40am here.
I really wish I had a pal who was always up for doing shit and god damn it just absolutely depresses me seeing other people with their friends. I mean, yeah, I have a few, but they're usually really busy.
It just really sucks, and I guess it's my fault as well, for not being worthy of close platonic relations.
>>17102518
hopefully you feel better soon, good luck.
>>17102599
Thanks anon. Same to you!
>>17102459
Good. Because people will only use these things against you if you treat them like shit. So maybe you might not want to open up about your fucked up past with someone and then be a dick. And that's the truth. So stop whining.
>>17101561
I used to run from my past too anon, but eventually you grow and learn but one of the best things to learn is to embrace your past. Don't let people use it as a weapon against you. Ignore that other anon, Your past you are allowed to make mistakes no matter what, You make them to learn from them I don't care if you were a horrible person, I was. One day I didn't want to be and I went and got help and believe me I know what its like to have it weaponized.
Just embrace it, Who gives a fuck, Don't open yourself up to let people be judge jury and executioner. Fuck them nobody has that right except if you broke the law and even then, You pay your dues and then you're released.
Why the fuck should trivial bullshit that didn't actually harm anyone be punished for so long?
Fuck them and live for yourself and embrace who you are. Fuck anyone that tells you otherwise. I'm projecting a bit here sure but man I know the feeling too well.
>>17102612
You deserved it.
>>17102716
I deserved what? You playing your samefag card now?
>>17102685
I think you're absolutely right! Congratulations on forgiving yourself for your rotten behavior.
However, if you're a classy girl (you know, the kind everyone wants to be with and marry and have children with) you are going to run far, far away from someone with a bad past that is google-able. So resign yourself to a lifetime of tattooed tramps.
>>17102685
What, did you shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die or something like that?
>>17100083
>Thanks for the fucking finger herpes you cunt
>>17102599
>Thanks anon. Same to you!
This made my day.
I wanted you here. I wanted you to come with me. I wanted us to fall in love again. I wanted you to see me in the dress I bought for my sister's wedding so you can tell me how beautiful I looked and make a joke about how I'm "actually" wearing a dress for once. I wanted you to slip it off me later so we could make love in the hotel. I wanted to get tired and sunburned while we explored a place we've never been too and discover places to eat together.
But it didn't happen. You're at your home, and I'm here at mine feeling pathetically sorry for myself because I was fool for believing things could work out.
>>17100083
I hate everything, but I hate myself even more.
People think that I don't have any shame due to the things I'm willing to confront, but the truth is that I live in shame and guilt. Confronting myself and others about the things that keep me up at night make me feel like I'm exorcising my demons, but I'm probably just an asshole.
I don't want to change.
>>17102740
Don't even have them~
I did forgive myself as I should have. I harmed noone, Shitty behaviour no fucking doubt about it but I'm not going to waste my life grieving over lost friendships that honestly would have been toxic either way. I got help and amended bridges whenever I could. Those that wanted to stay angry can stay fucking angry I'm not living for them I'm living for me.
>>17102743
No I used to lie online for attention and sympathy in my teens like a retard. Turned out I was neglected as a child and my issues stemmed from home. Therapy was the best thing I've ever done. All I can do is get better and better.
Me and the mother of my child split a few months back. We had been working on things off and on for a while. I was going to propose to her the day after her birthday, roughly a month ago. She blew me off, and repeatedly did so for several weeks until I she finally told me she slept with my best friend of almost a decade on her birthday. They moved in together three days ago. I am so fucking angry, yet it is giving way to crushing loneliness and regret. She is probably doing all the things that made our relationship special with him and it doesn't feel the same. I told her I was going to propose recently. She has been pretty down, I know she knows how fucked up this all is.
But my god do I dream every day she will walk through my door and ask for the ring.
Jesus Christ why are all women such fucking cuuuuuuntsssss
REEEEEEEE
Do fucking all women play games? Are there any at fucking at all that don't that aren't butt ugly
I'll just bring those pills to that party thing and take the whole bottle after ive had too much alcohol. Maybe I'll finally get some rest from everything.
>>17102856
They only "play games" cuz you're shooting out of your league and they don't just want to straight up shit on you. Yeah, women aren't confrontation and generally won't just demolish you. Welcome to life, chump
>>17102889
Im not even that ugly, hot girls literally like my pics all the fucking time, I was gaming a perfect fucking 10 the other night in the club and she was into it, as well as many 8s and 9s. I'm told constantly how hot I am or that I look like famous celebrities
>>17102912
>telling lies on the internet
yeah me too dude totally
>>17102927
>s-someone's talking about having mild success with women on the Internet?
>n-no, it can't be t-true, I've never experienced this
>lol telling lies on the Internet faggot
>>17102937
Okay champ. Why are they playing games with you though?
>>17102459
Ellie?
I really wanted you to be angry enough to fight him because I wanted to hurt him.
Because that's the kind of person I am.
Please talk to me. Even if it's to say that you don't want me around anymore, I just need something. That you miss me, or that you're repulsed. That it was all real or that it was all false. That's all I need. I can't lie and say I'm not worried, even though you said it was useless to ever worry; it doesn't change what happens. I don't know if I should just let you go.
-S
My told m bf I wanted to break up with him. He laughed at me and said I'm not allowed to breakup with him and that I'll regret it. Well so much for being honest.
>>17102953
Obviously I don't know bud lel
It's certainly not an issue w physical attraction though, you're a fucking idiot if you think the world is so black and white that's the only possible reason they would. Keep projecting tho :)
I really don't get you at all. At work, you're all flirty with me and claimed we were dating or whatever you want to call it. But outside of work, it's literally the complete opposite. I make attempts to go out with you and you cancel on them and don't even bother to reschedule or even apologize at the very least. Then you wonder why I'm annoyed and act mean in your words while we're at work. It's beyond disrespectful to me and shows that you really don't care about me in the slightest. The part that really gets me is you blew up my phone and got upset when B joked with you about him seeing me with another girl, and then I hear that you were talking about how you went out on a date with some guy. It's literally one of the most hypocritical things I've ever heard. I'm seriously tired of this bullshit and I'm annoyed that you're wasting my time and leading me on when you never had any real intentions of pursuing a relationship with me. I guess you'll have to use someone else to help you get over your ex with because I'm not gonna be used by you anymore.
You are disgusting
fucking disgusting
Jesus Christ I don't know why do I still tolerate you
Kill yourself
Don't come near me
disgusting disgusting
I'm sorry I told you I didn't love you, mom
Im getting tired of this constant sinking feeling its been going on for years now
I've been crying for >tfw no bf all this time but my psychologist asked me today what do I expect from a man and what do I have to offer and it hit me, it really hit me.
I have no fucking idea who I am and I can't offer anything to anyone.
>>17103128
Same here anon.
>>17103166
Hey, at least now you'll be able to do something about it.
>>17102459
Pick your friends better, trust should be something that is earned over time. If you can find just one person you can confide in about everything then consider yourself lucky.
>>17103166
Same here, man.
>>17103183
I have no idea how to proceed though. I keep seeing only my bad side. As the psychologist said, I became too comfortable in my uncomfortableness.
410 . 919 . 3294, tell me anything you want
>tfw working in a medical environment is uplifting and military work seems like it could be rewarding
>tfw only medical and military work is appealing
>tfw will probably pursue medical career and possibly part time military work after some schooling
>tfw not sure if I'm intelligent enough for nursing or CNA work
>tfw not sure if being a nurse or CNA while serving in the reserves is biting off too much or not
>tfw no life and I still come here to talk about life goals and ambitions instead of sharing them with friends and family
>>17102358
Story?
I get told that I'm handsome and hot, girls check me out a lot, I'm muscular, tall, dress /fa/, funny and smart but I can't get a fucking girlfriend. I was dumped by a girl recently that I'm sure has never had a bf, or had any attention from a guy before. I've gotten laid lots of times and recently, but I just want a nice and sweet girlfriend. Not some hot 10/10 girl, but just a normal nice girl. But I can't and its fucking frustrating. It's easy as fuck to pull a hot stupid girl, but I want a normal down to earth nice girl, and I can't get one. It's so obnoxious.
>>17101800
Initial first then I'll message you.
>>17103272
If what you say is true, you probably intimidate the girls you want to find. Put yourself forward, don't wait for the nice girl to approach you.... she probably won't because of all the hot stupid girls floating around you.
>>17103368
This girl dumped me like two weeks ago and I'm certain I was the first boyfriend she'd ever had. She's smart, nice, funny and down to earth. I thought she's absolutely gorgeous, but I guess people would say she's just normal looking. It was devastating honestly, she was perfect. But I don't have hot girls floating around me, but I do get attention from them.
I don't know if I want to keep doing this or if it will be worth it. things have changed a lot and its really sad. Not like a crushing sadness that hits you all at once, but like this exhaustive sadness. It's slowing me down and burns rather than stings, I just want to curl up or melt to the floor when I think about you
>>17101720
You get a girl off, she gives you herpetic whitlow. Such is life. At least now I have a valid reason for not getting laid!
>>17103383
Well, just because she fit the ideal doesn't mean she was the one.
She could be into a different type of guy at this point in her life. It doesn't mean you can't attract someone like her. It just means that you weren't what she was looking for right now, and maybe she wasn't what you need right now either.
If we are still such close friends, why the hell would you blatantly get angry and do everything in your power to ignore something so important? You are the one acting like a fucking child. You put in some effort to make it seem like you care but the truth is you don't give a shit. I annoy the shit out of you and you think I'm a dumb bumbling retard that can't learn anything or do anything right. Well, maybe if you took the time to make sure I understood and actually helped me when I asked for it, then there wouldn't be issues. Maybe I don't want to fuck random women like you. Maybe I do need more time to do simple things. Maybe I am a slow person. But I'm fighting a battle with my self that you can't see, hear, taste, or smell.
I'm not you. I'm not some super attractive money making womanizer that gets everything he wants but god damn it, I just want some fucking respect. I'm done being looked down on by you. If you just want to keep doing things that way then count me out. I put in a lot of work and I don't deserve this shit. Fuck off with that shit mate. I'm done.
I'd do anything just to be someone else different and better, I hate who I am so very much. I'm a fool, when will this end?
>>17101336
>It's like these people you "work" for who reject you are giving you energy after they stole from you. Or maybe we're taking it back from them all on our own, and giving it to ourselves
I feel like they stole a part of me and I'm fighting to get it back.
>So who is the "user" and who the "usee?" It's seriously debatable.
Yeah, it is. At least I gained SOMETHING I can use, whether temporary, volatile or not, while she goes on as her old self, unchanged. Only in that she learned more about who she is and what she wants.She will continue down that path until she falls and gets beaten down on it. I, however, have already gotten fucked and learned from it. I'm just working on the recovery now.
I'm lost. I don't know what to think of myself, or who I am. I can't feel much of anything. I have many guy friends who like me, but why don't I feel anything? How can I not hate myself? Will I ever get myself into a relationship, or will this numbness linger? I'm afraid of not satisfying my family. My parents want to see their child get married and have children of her own, but I can't even think about marriage. I don't know if I want to go through with it. I can't imagine that person staying happy with me. I hide myself, and I don't think I will ever stop. Why am I like this? How can I tell someone about how I feel without shutting down at the last minute? I don't feel much of anything while typing this. Why? What's wrong with me?
I'm scared my decent job will never come through and I'll be stuck in part time retail hell forever.
It won't be enough to pay my bills. It will never be enough to even drive down and meet you for a weekend.
-and now you're going to be moving further away. I'm scared you will move to the other side of the country with your mom and feel obliged to stay with her because she'd be -alone- out there despite the fact that she's choosing to leave the rest of her family.
I'm scared that even when my job comes through and I get a place for myself? You won't have the courage to move in with me. I'm scared that it will take too long and you'll lose interest in waiting. I'm scared that you pinned your hopes and dreams on me and this job like I have and that it will never come through.
I'm scared that I'm going to be stuck here forever and you stuck there.
i don't know how to deal with passion and love
eventually i express myself to her, my dreams and desires about her, and she's in love with me too but.. i never loved someone, the feeling overdose is too much for an insensitive fuck like me.
i'm meeting her tomorrow and i know for a fact we might have sex within a month, and i'm EXPLODING
I failed out of college 6 months ago mom an dad. Im not becoming that mechanical engineer you wanted me to be and Im sorry for all the trouble that I put you guys through. I knew everyone was cheering me on to do good but I still failed you.
It wasnt even from going to any parties that I failed. I rarley did any of that. My will has been drained. When I wake up, I dont do anything. I still dont. There are parts of my day where I dont feel like eating. I know you both would probably just pass it off as "laziness" like how it was back in middle school and highschool. But I think there is something seriously wrong with me and I need help. And im not saying this shit to seek attention.
Do I know what I want to do for the rest of my life?
No I dont. The only things Im intersted in is cooking when I get the chance to and playing guitar (which I suck at) and neither of those will make money
Do I know whats wrong with me?
No. I dont know who or how to ask for help
My ex GF is ruining all of my relationships. Either friends or potential GFs. Whenever she finds out I am talking to someone new she will send them messages that are either threatening or saying a bunch of bullshit lies about me. I have lost almost all of my friends because of her and several girls that wanted to be with me all end up bailing because they don't want to deal with that crazy ass baggage.
I don't understand how she finds out. She stalks me hardcore on all my social media sites. I have them all set to private but I guess there are still ways to view them or at least the people that leave comments on the shit I upload. I guess she finds a person that has been commenting a lot recently and just blasts them.
She is insane. I haven't talked to her in 2 years.
Just fuck off and die already bitch.
I want MY Caitie back.
My mood is heavily influenced by whether I've heard from a friend of mine. I don't think that this is healthy. She's supposed to be just a friend - but I'm sad when I don't hear from her and giddy with excitement when I do. What the fuck.
How do you get rid of a crush before it's too late?
Lol your brother is hilarious, hope you die an early death dumbass. Nice to know the garbage you got brainwashed with got a restraining order for stalking him and then clearly killed herself cause she's a repulsive failed abortion.
Fat shit finally realizing how pathetic she fucking is when that reality sets in? too bad you'll never know cause your brother isn't you and he probably doesnt want to tolerate being around a creepy bitch.
>>17103728
B L O C K H E R.
If I ever had to be tested on my relationship or god forbid, marriage with a sex change procedure, I swear to god I'm dropping the bitch, changing my name and relocating.
You make it so easy to want to cheat on you. I will continue to be a loyal girlfriend but I hope you know you are a terrible lover.
My "fwb" has hoes and its pissing me off. I dont want a fucking threesome with an ugly chick I want you
May a thousand leeches suckle on your cunt until you've been reduced to dust you worthless sack of human garbage. I hate every cell in your body and wish you would be purged from this planet. Lick the ass of a black cat and fall down some stairs you motherfucker.
i like it when the skin on my fingers hardens up and i can just like peel it off, it's like a scale
i like to pick at and examine warts
i especially love peeling corns off my feet and examining the indentations they leave behind
like how could a perfect oval of hard skin just form like that?
my husband sometimes get seborrhea in his eyebrows and i absolutely HAVE to peel it off for him
Former fatty.
Recently lost a lot of weight and am completely incapable of reading signs of interest from other people. There's a really attractive, awkward looking, older guy that works near me. I have to walk past his shop several times a day to get to the bathroom or when I have to visit the mailbox. Sometimes I feel like he's staring at me and when our eyes meet he looks away quickly. The other day he ran past my shop and he waved at me, I swear to god I've masturbated to that memory so many times now.
What the fuck is wrong with me. I'm thinking way too much into this.
soooooo I jacked off and the.edge is gone
yep
reaaaaaally not wanting to continue the conversation, my mood is gone and you're not all that attractive. I really dont.think the sex.will be worth leading you on
the other, on the other hand, is perfectly fine,. because she can actually hold a conversation even with pauses and she's.funny and our humor match. She can be a great friend, yoouuu,are very likely not going to be. Also youre kinda fat, not just body wise but person wise, that's way too much junk food do you just not know how to eat this is what im saying we really just won't get along
>>17101382
I've been trying so fucking hard to make it work, giving him chance after chance after chance after more fucking chances. But the most he can do is continue treating me like shit, abusing me, and betraying me. I hate myself and I hate who he's turned me into. I still want him but I'm fucking exhausted and I'm over being used and abused. I'm worthless. I'd rather kill myself than continue living if the (near) future is anything even remotely like the last two years. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to die.
Is it the front door or what?
I'm in love with you and we'd make each other so happy. Your relationship with him is hurting you, he has too many problems and not enough in common with you, he wants things besides you. You've settled for so long for mediocre relationships just to not be alone that your standards are too low and you don't notice it's not normal for him to be an alcoholic and put his emotional health stability on your shoulders, you aren't and can't be responsible for his anxiety and depression, and if you feel like you're dating him for the person you think he'll be one day you shouldn't be dating him because you're not really happy and dating right now, just biding your time until it works.
We'd work, you should break up with him and date me. I'm not just what you want, but also what you need, and we're already too close for there not to be some boundary that's being crossed. I didn't mean to get so close to you but you wanted it to be like this and it felt natural. You pretty much dated me at this point, and if you don't claim me for yourself I'm going to date someone else and you'll lose me for good.
>>17104019
calm down dude and break up
it's really not worth as nuch as you think
date me instead
>>17104010
honestly i'm surprised that anyone could hold a conversation with you, you read like a real dumbass
but hey, have fun with your equally dumbshit bimbo, retard
>>17103384
Initials?
>>17104030
hit a nerve there princess?
>>17104037
yeah i mean look at him, jesus christ, did he type that with his dick?
and he's yet another piece of fucking human trash leading girls on so he can stick his dick in 'em
nobody honestly respects those types of guys tbqh famalam
>>17104046
he'd be a celebrity on /fit/
>>17104048
you mean manchild central praises each other for acting like a bunch of pigs?
say it ain't so!!
>>17103898
Initials?
I just want to drop off the planet for a while.
>>17103842
really? no shit?
Doesn't matter if I block her. She fucking finds out somehow about the person I'm talking to. I don't know if I have a mole/rat friend feeding her info or what. Either way she always finds out.
>>17104123
It sounds like a massive ego in the way though
Like, you mentioned loads of girls wanting to be with you, not that you're interested in any of them in particular
Last night, you berated me. We're having a baby in four months, and you don't believe in me enough to have enough money saved up. I know I spent a lot on you in this past month, including for Mother's Day. I rub your back every night so you can fall asleep. You get to go home every weekend to see your family. I bust my ass every weekend working trying my damned hardest.
I'm doing the best I can for our daughter, and all you do is worry about shit and ignore. You don't talk to me. You don't ask how my day is, or even how I'm doing. Have some fucking faith in me.
When I was 11-14 years old, there were a few incidents in which I molested my eldest female cousins.
Eventually, my Aunt and Uncle found out. My Aunt has never forgiven me, and has since resented me. It's been nearly ten years since all of that.
I've apologized countless times to both her and my uncle as well as my cousins, but I don't think my Aunt gives a shit. The woman is literally batshit crazy, and I think she is going to try and blackmail me. She wants me to tell my father, whom we amicably decided not to tell when it was all going on. I think he would try to kill himself if he ever found out. Which is why I think my aunt wants him to know. I plan on telling him soon, but I know the outcome won't be pretty.
I'm truly sorry about it all. My cousins and I spoke about it, they said they forgave me, and we are "cool"and that "kids experiment and do weird stuff like that sometimes" but my Aunt is making it seem like that is not the case and that they're "confused." granted, I think the problem is that since she was molested as a child, she is pinning her and anger and frustration on me instead of rationally getting it all out to a professional.
I'm not a pedo, and there were never any other instances of this happening between me and another person. I just wish my Aunt would forgive me.
I'm not going to kill myself because I think life could still be cool and interesting, but I have contemplated many times over going off-grid, changing my name and moving to a different country to escape the intentional torment of this woman. I don't want to throw away all of my friends and my life here, but If I have to, then I will.
Advice? Thoughts?
> inb4 kill yourself you p.o.s
>>17101164
yudh i get most of that
its called being neurotic
thanks for the hpv and the broken heart you fucky little cuntwank
sorry for being a cunt to you mum, also sorry your life has fucked you up
>>17104019
Me again anon.
Tell him explicitly what you want, how you need to be treated. Know you aren't worthless. Know you are more than another's punching bag. If you are both bringing issues to the table, but love each other, lay them out. It seems like fear is driving you apart.. >>17104019
.
I ruined my mind with MDMA. My memory is shot, neuropsyche test verified. No hope, can't perform in school, family doesn't understand, thinks I'm full of shit when the fucking test sitting in front of them as well as an MRI say differently. My brain is the only thing I had going for me and I think I'm done this time. I've survived one suicide attempt but this time I'm going to make sure it works.
the majority of these posts are just butthurt romantic bullcrap/thread
aww shit i'm in a bad mood like all the time i don't know what's wrong with me
i need a drink
>>17102612
i treated them like normal people though
i was overly friendly and yet not too friendly to them
no one deserves this pain except me, and because of the fact that it is my own pain,it makes it just. i cant treat anyone else like shit except myself you know.
i hate my naiviety and being aware of it,but secrets are screts for a reason,especially when you tell them not to talk about this to anybody else. even if it was 14 years ago. even if it doesnt seem like anything bad to that person. other people have different views of it and if they think its wrong and drag other people or friends or even familiy to share their views of it,its hard to get out. its like some guy who had a rehab and he feels better and deeply regrets his past actions comes back to their circle of close friends,they will always have that shred of doubt in their eyes. no matter what you do and how much you changed,they will always doubt you and it hurts like hell
I can't help but think that my friend may know something that I don't about the girl, that rejected me when I asked her out.
My friend is friendly with her aswell, and He is telling me to be friendly with her and it will fall into place down the line. I don't know.
>>17104415
That's 80% of this entire board.
I am depressive as fuck as soon as I am alone. I don't know why.
Family life is shit, I can barely feel anything anymore in terms of emotions. And I'm honestly fine with it, I am at least no longer living in despair.
Life is at least looking up, I'm getting shit done, and I can't sleep for shit. I sleep mabye 2 hours a day max, the rest I just lay there thinking about the good in my life.
It is very productive.
>>17104334
That's the thing, I have been bringing issues to the table, I've told him multiple times that he's abusing me, gaslighting me, treating me like shit etc. Sometimes I even call him out as he's literally in the middle of gaslighting me, but he just gets angry, then we either fight or he stops talking to me and ignores me for a while, thus making me feel even more worthless.
He kept saying he'll try to 'be better' but he's not changing who he is. I have no problem with that, I don't want him to change who he is; I loved him for who he was. But I just don't see any effort at all. If anything, my trust in him is nonexistent now, and I'm just afraid and alone and hurt. All he seems to be doing is hurting me more and more.
What's worse is that a couple of nights ago I found out he's been betraying me and lying to me, fucking again, about a major thing he did that ruined our 'relationship' and absolutely destroyed me.
If he actually bothered to do some research about abuse and how to identify and stop abusing me, and would actually commit to working with me and make an effort, then things could be better.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I hate myself and I hate that he's done this to me. I'm terrified of him and I'm terrified of being without him.
I don't understand how someone can be so cruel to and treat the person they supposedly 'love' so awfully.
I just want to die honestly. I never wanted this and yet I deserve all of it. I can't do it anymore.
Sorry for rambling, I just really, really needed to get that out.
>>17104415
People who get meta in these topics or expect originality in bitch threads miss the point of using them.
>>17104334
>>17104521
Oh and thank you for replying and for your kindness and advice, I appreciate it anon. I hope you have a great day/night.
>>17104521
Was there even a relationship to begin with or do you think you're just entitled to one?
Amber I want to get to know you better and I feel like you're flirting with me. But when I bring up anything that suggests more than friends you shy away and make me feel like a fool, that's how I see it anyway. I want just straight up ask if you're into me but know that it would be extremely awkward for both of us. Please would you give me answer, so I know.
>>17100083
what the fuck is finger herpes ?
I can't stop thinking about you but I don't think I love you. What the fuck is going on. I'd do anything for you because I care for you deeply but I don't think we'd ever work. I'd need someone better for me, I think. Or is no one else going to come around. I know you kissed me but you also said you want me as a friend and I don't know what I want or what to think right now. I want to spend more time with you though. I want to help you be the person you need to be because you have issues and I don't think I could be your number one even though I love the notion. I wont be there for you 100% of the time. I think I just want to absorb your pain into me and then find someone for you and me. Would you leave my mind then? What is it about you that draws me in and deters me at the same time. Who are you? Who am I kidding maybe I'm the broken one.
>>17104701
Initials?
>>17104709
Initialfags are truly pathetic. No, moron, it's not for you.
>>17104709
B.V.
Who's asking?
You're pissing me off. We were great friends. I loved chatting with you. It was all strictly platonic on my end. And then you start pressuring me for a relationship. I was understanding, but I told you I don't want a relationship with anyone. But even if I did, it wouldn't be with you because you're religious and your family is even more religious. It just wouldn't work. I tell you all of this. Including the fact that I am sick, and therefore it just isn't possible for me to have a relationship unless my treatments work - and they haven't, yet.
Now you're getting angsty with me about it. You keep saying it's cool to be friends but obviously it isn't. So I'm trying to pull out of the friendship and you still get pissy at me.
I'm really starting to not be able to stand you. My friends liked you and now they're starting to find you annoying, too.
Leave me alone. Please just leave me alone. I'm sick. I just want to enjoy what I can when I can and you ruin it by getting in my space and being mopey. Stop it. I don't want to be your friend anymore.
>>17104723
Tell that to the (albeit few) people who know people irl who post in these threads, and also write to each other.
>>17104701
What you feel isn't any different.
Somebody once told me to try thinking with my heart for a change. What I learned wasn't the answer, I'd already known that. What I learned was how afraid I was of that truth. I learned how afraid I was of both coming to love and lose somebody.
Listen, if there is mutual care between two people, neither of those people wants to inconvenience the other. Just as you don't wish to see them in pain, neither do they.
The solution is a Boolean value, a yes or a no.
This is science, this isn't magic.
Somebody has to tear the band-aid off.
>>17104723
What does that say about you who wastes their breath on the people you try to put so far beneath yourself?
Seems like a waste of effort, you should learn how to be lazier.
>>17104817
I feel as if that deeply spoke to me but I'm not 100% sure what you're suggesting I do.
Whether she deeply cares for me or not I'm still not sure I want to be with her in a romantic sense.
I'm in the god damned military, there is no future for either of us together. Get over your fucking ex and move on for fucks sakes. Grow the hell up and forget about me.
>>17103835
initials?
>>17104963
What are yours?
I had a great time with you last week. I look forward to getting to know you more each time, and maybe one day evolving our friendship into something more
>>17103835
Do you have S somewhere in your initials?
>>17104995
I do not have an S anywhere in my initials, or my name. But I don't mind.
Two text messages today from a certain person, now... I feel like the end of the world has been cancelled and someone just gave me a free doughnut.
How can I be so affected by something so insignificant!?
I can never be legitimately happy for my friends. I love my friends, and they're the greatest people I ever met, but whenever they get a new job or achieve something I can't feel happy for them. I just start feeling envious and start wishing that I could achieve what they do. Man this shit sucks.
>autistic
>trying to improve, holding down part time job
>take some pride in this as this is the longest I've ever lasted in either work or job training programs
>make a little less than $400 a month, but don't give a fuck
>live with parents because I obviously can't afford an apartment or even pay half of rent and bills at one
>get around town nicely thanks to bus system
>parents get into a nasty argument yesterday
>father is letting rent go, mother and he will take eviction
>nowhere to go
>might have to move to rural area in home state because it's all my mother can really afford
>probably going to have to lose my job and somewhat stable life to move somewhere with nothing
>scared I'll just become a recluse again
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP, LIFE
>>17105025
I didn't write that but who do you want it to be from. Because this sounds like it could have been written for us. Assuming you are my c.
Like I mean this is something I could have written.
Hey man,
What happened to keeping together no matter how hard the times? You were the person who kept me from sitting in my house all day. You got me out. You got me to laugh and forget all the bullshit. Then you had to go and get a girl. You stopped hanging with me. I'm being selfish for losing the one friend I was always looking forward to chilling out with. I don't look forward to anything anymore. I wake up, go out, come back, and sleep. I keep hoping it'll all go back to normal, but the more I hope the more cynical I become.
I hope we talk soon.
That was the last oppourtunity I'm giving any of you to be honest with me.
Everything I do from here on out is to get away from you people. You can view it however you want to, that I'm fucking you over, etc. but the fact of the matter is if you really wanted me around you wouldn't have pulled this shit in the first place. I won't be telling you where I live, I will be changing my number, all avenues of communication or association will be severed.
You've really left me no other choice. Wish I could say it's been nice knowing you, but that would be a lie.
You have no one to blame but yourselves, and should be thankful that I don't cripple you for the reat of your natural lives.
With friends and family like you, who needs anyone.
>>17105244
oh?
initial?
I'm afraid to meet up with an old friend because it'll be clear how much they've accomplished and how little I've changed. I know it's wrong to compare, but I don't want them to know my stagnancy and have nothing to say, while they've likely had a fulfilling life. I do miss the memory of them, but I don't think I miss them at present. Maybe it's better not to meet.
I love them both.
Fuck.
>>17105602
Elaborate.
>Mother applies for foodstamps because my brother got laid off from his job (I still need to wrap up college, but will apply for jobs ASAP)
>Nigger worker says no and asks a billion questions
>Illegals and other niggers meanwhile get approved quickly
Wew, I guess we're just supposed to suffer.
>>17105611
A lady, and another lady.
I get the feeling this isn't a groundbreaking situation.
Lady number two, it's a non-sexual kinda love. So I'm sure everything will be juuuuust fine.
>>17100083
I have to poop but I'm at my friends house and I don't wanna like shit up the place
Today I walked along behind a lady for a few minutes. She had a fairly short skirt on. With each step she took it went swish swish swish on her arse.
Best way to start the day.
Today has been a good day.
What my mind wants interferes too much with what my soul needs. I don't know which is right. I don't know which to choose.
>>17104046
That was me, you idiot
And if I typed that with my dick, then clearly I must have a dexterous dick since you were able to understand what I wrote and what it was about, despite your unseemly kneejerk rage and teenage tier explative rant.
If you weren't so stupid you would've read that it wasn't worth leading her on, and that she was too boring and fat to even make a friendship out of it
So I have to assume that you are also boring and fat to take that so personally and I frankly don't care, who would want to know someone who takes everything as a personal attack and screech about dicks like a lunatic
I had a dream where I went over to your house and watched you sleep. That slender sickly body of yours, untouched and tiny. That warmed porcelain like skin, soft and glowing like a doll's that doesn't match your black insides, and crass demeanor.
In that illusion, I striped you naked, opened your thin weak legs just caressed you the way you do to yourself at night. Touched you with the strength you so envied, as I squeezed your tiny breasts. Then, I gave in to the anger, the lust, and just penetrated you with no feelings of regret, or shame. Engorged by the warmth of your blood, I just pumped in and out of your twisted body, and rejoiced in your moans pleasure and whimpers of pain. I have wanted you like this for over a year, but when we spoke I made no mention of it, no hint that I even cared about you.
Shame I can not longer even try. Such a pity that now we hate each other more than anything else. Part of me still wants you, not just physically, but also emotionally.
When I do this her, I always think of frail little you.
I will miss you, dearly, no matter the disdain between us. I'm a strange perverse way, I love you.
>>17105781
What the fuck dude
>>17105781
Wow just wow
>>17105772
nope :'(
>>17105788
>>17105790
Yep and that's why neither of them will ever read it.
It's an odd love letter I suppose.
>>17105773
Let's guess. . Mind wants visually perfect woman based on societall standards, soul needs someone who understands you and to hold. You ignore the latter for the extremely slight chance that some 'hot' girl will actually want you.
>>17104021
but you're too busy chasing fatties, senpai.
>>17100083
I Have a tedious life, Found love 10 years ago, but because of some family issues i hadnt presented her to them, the girl started hanging out with a business enemy of mine just to tease me so i would let her into my life, i did, then he raped her, now she is psychotic and i have chronic depression
i miss your bony body, messy hair, pale skin and fucked up teeth. i miss your flat ass and tiny tits and hairy legs. i miss the sound of your voice and the way you smell. i miss your dumb introverted personality. i miss cuddling you. i miss telling you i love you.
i miss you.
I want to see a petgirl in real life. No, I am not into BDSM or petplay. I literally just want to see a real life petgirl.
We won't last.
>>17106099
Nope, we won't.
>>17106099
>>17106102
Initials?
>>17100083
Im dying here. You told your parents and now we can never be together. its what you wanted. why are you acting like i did this. I just wanted to love you.
I sleep all the fucking time. I cut out parts of my day just to sleep. Because some times when i sleep, i dream. and sometimes when i dream, youre there and you still love me.
>>17106105
I'm probably not your person. Just feel the same right now. Mine is E
>>17106099
>>17106102
>>17106114
Goddamnit people like you give me fucking heart attacks not signing initials holy fuck
Like I think they might think it's me if they saw it
And it could be them for all I know
Fuck
>>17106120
I understand, believe me. I'm sorry.
E
I copied a dead person for a year. That isn't supposed to be a weird metaphor or anything..I meant it literally. It was a friend of a friend. Everything that person did before they died was pretty cool. But I am probably going to hell
>>17100083
Yes, I fucking did it. Is that what you want to hear? You know who I am, you know how I am, you know how my temper is and how bad I am at forgiving. You're one of maybe four people who could see the significance of the date. You've asked and asked and asked and asked for years, ever since you heard. You say you just want me to be ok, you say you don't want me to ruin my life or throw my future away over him, but its already done and we're already past the statute of limitations so fucking drop it.
You couldn't protect me, you couldn't get me justice, you bitched though my whole childhood that you wished you'd done something (like that was supposed to make me feel better), and now you're up my ass because I did something? Shut the fuck up and leave it alone. You don't want to know.
>>17106138
I was known for my style and mysterious persona but no one knows I was taking a lot of inspiration from a dead person I never even knew. It does feel weird but their ghost probably finds it amusing. I just hope they aren't pissed
I am starting to think my gut instinct is correct in dealing with her.
After the Weird "Date" and being "rejected" the second time around, I essentially gave up hope of it working out, but for some reason my gut was telling me otherwise. It was telling me to be friendly, and invite her to hangout with friends, and that if I do that everything will work out.
Now, my friend who is friends with her as well has told me essentially the same exact thing. Maybe my gut is right, and maybe she told him something that would make him think the same as my gut.
Dunno but Im following my Gut and taking his advice
>>17106193
Are you sure it's a gut feeling and not just what you want? A month ago i had a gut feeling about someone as well but she did not even respond to any message i sent her, what i mean is make sure it actually is your gut and not your heart clouding your mind.
>>17106203
Pretty sure its a gut feeling. But really unsure as to how I can tell
>>17105838
No. My soul needs me to stay away from my ex who has changed, but my mind wants to run back to the girl I loved just to be in contact with her. To watch her develop and see who she becomes.
>>17106203
>>17106276
Eh, It is more likely to be a gut feeling I would say. At least when I message her, I don't get a half assed response, instead they are quite wordy actually. And we do speak often enough in person to say we are friends at least.
I figure there is really no harm in just continuing with being friendly and maybe inviting her to hangout with a group.
Also the fact that a friend of hers is saying to do the same thing indicates something may be going on
>>17105407
I can identify with this. good on you.
I'm still coming home to an empty house, and absolutely hate it. My depression has spiraled downwards as a result. I have no friends or a girlfriend and I try to pass my time with guitar, exercising, reading, watching movies, pretty much anything that will distract me, but ... it just all feels so empty and unsatisfying. The girl I like doesn't like me back anymore, she's not the same while messaging, giving me vague or short replies and she doesn't come around anymore. At one point we could have started something, but I feel like we were both scared of trusting one another, but now there's no recovering. She's attractive so she's probably found someone that's smarter, hotter, or better than me and switched interest over to them. It has literally happened with every single girl I've ever liked, and I've never had a girlfriend as a result. I know it's not them, it's me. I think some people were meant to live out their lives in complete solitude, it's happened to others before in history and I'm currently living in it. It's crazy how I've never been a priority or wanted by anyone my entire life, if that makes any sense. I could die, and my family would weep, but nobody would actually be able to say good things about me at my funeral. I'm not nice, funny, good at conversations, or anything. I'm not even trying to put myself down, my depression has made me this way so I haven't talked to them in years.
The only thing that's good in my life is my job, it's soul crushing labor but provides me with more money then the average person my age. But I've realized that money is not satisfying. I worked and got myself a house, furnished it, bought a nice car, surrounded myself with pretty much every material thing I wanted, but I still feel really fucking shitty on the inside. I'd trade it all just so I wouldn't have to be lonely. I get a pit in my stomach every day on the drive going home. I honestly don't see an end to my life other then suicide.
Hey /adv/, i need your help. Please answer this survey on anonymous forum usage, to help me with my thesis. You'll also get to see general results of other people's answers. Thanks!
>>17106418
You should start putting yourself in more situations that cause you to be with groups of people/part of a community. Start networking. You need to get out there and get to know people. How? I wish I knew, honestly. I need to do the same thing. I have friends, but few. I need a girl right now, but have no fucking means of doing it. I'm nearly in your position. At least, going down that road. It fucking hurts. Humans need other humans. They are literally the only thing that change/sway us. The only reason we feel, happy or sad. Angry or bitter.
>>17100083
I hugged someone for the first time in almost a year. I didn't even initiate it either, they were just so happy to see me they hugged me. Something inside of me changed after this. idk why, but all the hatred i carried sort of faded away. i haven't felt this way in a long time
>>17106464
Holy Christ. I feel you. It's nice, isn't it? Warm. Cozy.
>>17106465
it really is, they both held me for a second. it felt soooooooooo good. The whole world felt like it stopped in that brief moment
>>17106451
Sorry, i forgot the link to the survey. Here it is:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1jRMjlTDESD_3OBKEuEf3Wiy952OkJqo5We2GuJZ0JjU/viewform
Thanks!
>>17106470
Fuck, that hurts. I've been missing hugs too. So badly. Not from people, but from someone I love. I remember the same thing that happened to you happened to me a while back. I also hadn't hugged anyone in a year. But damn, the hug from someone you love romantically is 10x better. I miss it.
>>17106477
its not anonymous. requires a log in. piss off
>>17106456
It's pretty much impossible. Nobody wants to befriend the quiet awkward loner when they're out with their large group of friends.
But thanks for the input.
>>17106481
I love you. Thanks. I almost did it too.
>>17106481
>>17106492
This is someone trying to see if someone they think is on this thread is on it.
>>17106488
That's why you need to find a community that just puts you in them. I can't think of any other examples, but imagine like starting a new job where you work alongside co-workers. You get to know them, befriend them, and start to go out etc. Or maybe something like a sports team, or I don't know what. You get the idea though.
>>17100083
Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?
>>17106480
i don't have a loved one to hug but I just miss having friends that fully give a fuck about me. since i've come to college i haven't felt like anyone gave a shit about me, but I think i have actual friends now. it feels really nice. One friend who i had a little crush on last semester was so excited to see me she literally jumped out of her chair and hugged me. It felt. so. damn. good. to have someone care about me that much
>>17106488
I would suggest bars and clubs, getting to know a girl, being her friend then being introduced to more people, but honestly that's just bad news and you don't need that shit. I mean, MAYBE you could pick out a few that look out of place, but it's tough pickings.
