>>17098908
>Can a narcissist deeply hate themselves? Can a narcissist be capable of committing extreme self-harm? Can a narcissist be constantly suicidal?
Yes, yes, and yes. Narcissism is, at its heart, about extreme self-importance: "it's all about me". We often associate that with undue self-love, partly because this condition gains its name from the myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with its own reflection. But narcissism doesn't have to be associated with positive feelings: extreme self-loathing can also qualify.

>>17099067
What's the difference between someone with BPD and someone with narcissism, then?

>>17098908
>Can a narcissist deeply hate themselves? Can a narcissist be capable of committing extreme self-harm? Can a narcissist be constantly suicidal?
When I saw this in the catalog I immediately thought "BPD".
>A lot of what it seems they did to me, and countless others, was this "idealize, devalue, and discard" method that narcissists tend to use. I can't imagine this person was a narcissist, though, because they hated themselves, self-harmed, and pretty much always wanted to die.
Yep, sounds like BPD to me.

>>17099522
>What's the difference between someone with BPD and someone with narcissism, then?
First of all, they're pretty close together psychologically, there's a lot of similarities. And iirc about a third of people with BPD also qualify for an NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) diagnosis.

Second, it's easy to tell that narcissists think of themselves as special, unique, misunderstood geniuses, secret heroes, etc: people with BPD rarely have delusions of grandeur.
Also, those with BPD will often "cycle" between high and low self-esteem, often switching due to strong emotional events (such as someone getting angry at them or breaking down). A very typical pattern is the BPD partner that abuses their lover, then apologizes profusely and tries as hard as possible to "make it up to them" by doing whatever their lover wants, no matter how submissive or degrading, and enjoy it greatly, since it feels like they're getting what they deserve, what they need, etc. Narcissists won't do that sort of thing.

This is a brief overview that might help:
http://thenarcissisticlife.com/the-difference-between-borderline-and-narcissistic-personalities/

>>17099881
Does that make them the victim, then, if they have BPD? Or would that make their friends victims? Or are both people at fault?

Thanks for the reply, btw, it was very helpful.

>>17099960
>Does that make them the victim, then, if they have BPD?
Only if they're actually victimized. BPD is in cluster B of the personality disorders (along with narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, histrionics, sadists, etc: all tend to be abusers, bullies, etc). Everyone in cluster B is usually considered responsible for their actions regardless of the fact that they have a psychologically characterized disorder, since they can and do control themselves when they think it's necessary (such as to avoid being caught by authority figures).

With BPD in particular, during the "high" swings they tend to abuse others in the classic narcissistic (or even sociopathic) manner.
But during the "low" swings (drastically lowered self-worth), they often try to goad others into abusing them, striking them, being abnormally rough during sex, demeaning and insulting them, etc, to validate their emotions and their evaluation of themselves as unworthy, hated, unwanted, mistreated, etc. If they successfully encourage the other person to abuse them, then yes in that case they're the victim, and the other person is guilty of abusing them (unless they actually can't control their actions or were tricked into doing it).

However, there's definitely a lot of sympathy for such partners even then, because people with BPD (like others in cluster B) are typically excellent manipulators, and can easily bend ordinary people to their will.
Hence common legal exceptions for these people (like "fighting words" in US law) to prevent sociopaths from freely taking advantage of the legal system to support their behavior.

In general, people with BPD are abusers, and anyone close to them gets victimized.
Their victims are rarely at fault for anything other than enabling their behavior, not taking them to a psychiatrist, and not contacting law enforcement when appropriate.

>>17100032
Shit, that was very helpful. Thank you.

I think this person has serious BPD. I'm currently trying to cut all associations, but unfortunately, they were skilled at making things, and I'm attempting to recreate something so I don't have to use what they made. And it is frustrating, to say the least.