/adv/, i've just graduated and i have a lot of choice job offers to choose from that all lead to my eventual dream. i'll also be able to live on my own for the first time, and basically can live anywhere i want with a few of my job offers.
my boyfriend is part of the equation of my decision. he is in a bit of a rut in his life, and been down on his luck as far as jobs go. but he has been nothing but supportive and kind to me; he's just too important to me to not consider.
so i want to ask; would moving somewhere new might help him out a bit? his current home town is so drab and depressing and lacks opportunities. but he's lived there his whole life and has many friends and family. i'm sure the feeling of familiarity of his town is also something he'd miss. another thing to consider is that he suffers from anxiety.
i'm prepared to live in his home town for as long as he wants to, but it's not the ideal place i want to live. maybe i'll grow to love it though, i don't know. personally, i think maybe some change could improve his situation, but maybe there's something i haven't thought about?
what do you guys think? what would you do or think if you were in my boyfriend's position?
>>17097673
you shouldnt really model your career around your boyfriend. he is something to consider, but you shoudl also consider yourself obviously. you will always need a job. but you can't guarantee your boyfriend will always be there for you.
my suggestions is to talk to him. you're doing a lot of gymnastics before even asking his opinion it seems. show him your offers. show him where you want to go, then suggest some locations that have jobs in his field. say you want to go together and make this big adventure and start your lives.
then just react to his reaction. he might just jump at the idea and say hell yeah to live in one of the more interesting places. he may say 'i dont want to move'.
my fianl advice is dont stay, even if he does. staying in your bfs hometown but not yours is a mistake. you are building your entire life around a boy and when hes not there you're going to regret not going places you could have.
>>17097673
Personally it took moving a few times to realize that moving wouldn't fix my issues. I have to fix them myself. Also I learned that I wanted to be closer to home.
So while it might be a good opportunity for positive change, he needs to take advantage of it, it's not a panacea.
>>17097673
What's your job OP?
>>17097681
thanks, but i feel like i'll be ok regardless of my decision. my career is secured as long as my body can function. i've moved around constantly my whole life and i don't really have a "home town" to speak of. i guess i've never placed too much importance of where i am since then, and while i think there are some prettier places than his home town, i just want to feel happy. and my boyfriend helps a lot with that.
i also just want to see if my boyfriend could benefit out of any of my choices. but i will definitely be discussing this with him. i just worry that, if it turns out he wants to move some place new with me, he might regret his decision and i'd feel selfish for convincing him to do that.
>>17097696
hmm thanks, that's a good point. but how about career-wise? i think he just needs a better job and maybe a prettier place to look at so it could nudge him in a more positive direction. i could be completely wrong though.
>>17097711
i'm an artist; i do mostly painting/design/concept for video games and cartoons.
>>17097805
worse case scenario he just moves back home. worse case scenario for you, you're stuck in this home town without him.
>>17097820
yeah, the worst scenarios aren't that bad to be honest.
which is why i'm seeing if there's anything my boyfriend can realistically benefit from moving somewhere new.
