My girlfriend only ever wants anal sex and hates it when I touch her breasts (the nip only is okay sometimes).
I love her so I didn't let it bother me too much but now she wants to wear a realistic strap on while we have sex even though she won't be using it... Just wearing it?
She has body image issues so I don't want to make her uncomfortable asking her... Does she sound like she might be a trans man? She's also bisexual and identified as a lesbian when she was a teenager.
I'm not gay but I want to help her work through it and support her.
Possibly. Or that's just what she's into (strange as it is, there are more "out there" fetishes). We're not going to have a better answer than she does.
It's possible... the strapon (without using it) and anal sex thing seems especially suspect. The first is weird as a fetish.
Maybe watch a couple movies with her involving trans people or something and see if she says anything? Or watch a documentary while she's home about transmen, and make sure she can see/hear it even if she's not watching it with you.
Strapon thing might not be too weird. I'm a girl and I have fantasies of having a dick so I have one for fantasizing and pegging my boyfriend.
Have you ever seen her vagina? Does it look strange at all?
>>17089870
THIS IS THE CAPTAIN, ALL HANDS ABANDON SHIP!!
Seriously mate, it's time to GTFO, for two main reasons. First, somewhere down the line she's going to tell you she's decided to become a man, then pour a thousand years of hatred and scorn on you when you decide you don't want to date her because she's had her pissflaps sewn op and bangers cut off. Second, you're going to end up on the recieving end of that strapon at some point. It starts off with "just" wearing it, then she'll "just" want you to touch it, then she'll "just" want you to put it in your mouth, and the next thing you know you'll come in from work to find her wearing nothing but a ski mask and a plastic dong, which she will proceed to violently ass rape you with.
>>17089893
I have and it looks pretty normal... Why ask?
>>17089870
>I'm not gay
>>17089980
Probably should have mentioned that I'm bi too.
>>17090016
Then why do you even care?
>>17089969
Because if it looks normal then it's highly likely she's not trans and it's something else steering her off of vaginal sex. For a few women it could be vaginismus. Talk to her and see why she doesn't want it. Communication is always key and essential in relationships.
just reading the first sentence i was gonna say she probably has body image issues/previous traumatic experiences that prevent her from experiencing those aspects of sex, but after reading the strap on part....
i won't say that any of it isn't "normal" because normal is so subjective, but it does sound like she's got some fixation on presenting as masculine during sex. even if she isn't trans, maybe she just gets more pleasure by presenting as a guy having sex with another guy. either way it wouldn't hurt to talk to her about it; however it's a sensitive subject so approach with caution.
>>17089870
So, the term "trans man" is a little vague, because when people see it they think "someone who was born with a penis and who identifies as female." That's why people are asking about her vulva/vagina/clitoris situation.
Sorry to say this, but the fact that you're even asking other people whether or not your girlfriend is a trans man bespeaks some pretty deep communication problems in your relationship.
We tend to think of sexual categories as reliable and constant. They're not. People like things from all sorts of areas, and it doesn't "make them" anything.
If you're having sex with her, and your purpose is to bring her the maximum amount of pleasure, then it sounds like she's just telling you how to do that, which makes her a very efficient communicator. But if you're judging those requests and trying to "make sense" of them so you can "understand" and "help her work through it," then you're not really being as supportive as you could be.
It's not your fault - a whole shitload of cultural programming goes toward the function of making men afraid to be gay or do gay things, so you've got some serious hurdles that you should share with her, and if you're uncomfortable doing something, please don't force yourself to do it just to make her happy. That wouldn't be healthy either.
But what you might try is just doing what makes her happy and letting her know if there's any good reason that you don't want to do it - and feeling like it's wrong *is* a good reason, and you need to talk about it now instead of just hoping it will go away.
You should save this thread and show it to her, probably. Let her know your concerns and also see the kind of shit you're dealing with as a man in this society. Unless you think it would hurt her feelings, in which case don't.
But I dunno, she seems pretty cool ;)
