Sup /adv/,
Why is it that I can no longer hold a conversation with anyone for longer than 2 minutes? I can generally gather the confidence to say hi to people and get some level of small talk going. It's after that when I struggle to keep things going smoothly.
I just lose track and can't think of how to respond other than "yeah". It's frustrating, since I appear uninterested and that's generally not the case. It's slowly chipping away at my self confidence.
Is it just a matter of asking more questions until it just comes smoothly?
I've only recently started college/uni. I would agree that I have too much spare time and could be doing a lot more interesting things. Not sure how much that contributes.
What kind of things do you normally talk about?
Does your brain just trail off thinking about something else?
>>17089249
instead of saying 'yeah' you are supposed to first volunteer more information on the subject, then ask a question.
if they are trying to invest as much as you are, they do the same. if not, its okay to call it quits imo.
>BUT ANON I ALREADY KNOW THATI JUST LOSE TRACK OF IT AND SAY YEAH INSTEAD
nothing we can do to help that.
>>17089249
I have that problem as well.
It began recently.
Along with some other problems.
And yeah, it's frustrating as hell. I want to talk to people, I just seem to have lost the ability.
Does a conversation with you sound like pic related?
>>17090293
Sometimes. I do go into detail whenever possible, people usually don't have to keep prompting me for more information.
When I am having a conversation similar to what's pictured it's usually because I don't feel there's detail to go into - it's what to do then where I get lost. As >>17090074 said, generally I try to provide some info before I ask something but it's just not always possible.
>>17090010
With people I've only recently been introduced to, it's usually small stuff like the job/course they're in, how they got there, etc. I do tend to trail off, after trying to think of how to respond, which is odd because I usually do want to know more about that person.
>>17091597
Starting one summer I decided to learn a lot about how to pick up girls.
Not sure if this can directly apply to your case but I'm sure it can help.
Erroneously, what most try to do in conversation is ask a series of increasingly detailed questions, the worst of which are yes and no, leaving one party of the conversation fighting against impending awkwardness of one of you running out of things to say.
There is a concept called the deep dive in conversation and I'm sure you could read about it, wherein you have to ask about something unexpected, real, and perhaps relatable following the normal chithcat ,and then return to normal chitchat directly afterward. You get the other person talking and make you seem as the active person in the conversation when really the other person is the one saying more words.
That is the bit I didn't find as helpful but they say it is better so I try to do it anyway.
But make an assumption, this bit really helps.
Not a dumb stupid assumption likely to get put in a Buzzfeed 'What white ppl say 2 x immigrant nationality ppl' video, but one that stirs them up and makes them a little more alert into the conversation.
The best part, if you guess incorrectly then they must often correct you, and begin talking about everyone's favorite subject, themselves. If you guess correctly, the conversation instantly becomes more relatable for the other person.
>>17089249
It's easier if you are genuinely interested, and some people just aren't cooperative either.
That being said, just keep trying and you'll improve, even if it wasn't your fault to begin with.
Whether your own life has anything to do with it I don't know. It makes giving interesting answers harder but having a conversation is more about asking questions and you constantly talking about yourself is not something a lot of peope will enjoy anyway.
