>>17088614
Like literally I had a short break from this shit but only because I kept busy all the time but now I'm burnt out and can't do that

It's called depression, OP. I'm on my iPod or I'd have some helpful links for you, but regardless you should try to find a psychiatrist and therapist (mental health providers/organizations will often either help you find or provide both, and Google will at least aid in finding them) for diagnosis and treatment.

I hope things go well for you and that you make the best decisions for you, whatever those are (though clearly I have opinions on this, I've been wrong before, lol.).

>>17088645
I'm seeing a therapist, it's not helping
What kinds of treatment?

Anti-depressants worked for me.
I hear exercise can have a similar effect as well.

Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, it's about being present instead of identifying with our thoughts. Also try putting your attention on your breath for a few breaths. It should help. Also look up Eckharts talks on Youtube about thoughts or thinking. Feel better anon.

>>17088614
You have feelings that you haven't dealt with yet, and they are trying to push their way forward when you have down time and aren't actively busy. Instead of letting it cripple you, set time aside for yourself to work through them, feel them, and then put them away.

>>17088831
That's easier said than done. Honestly, it only takes a few seconds of thought to make me feel shitty.