I can't shake this feeling and wish to kill myself, more so when I'm depressed. I think a lot about death and often fantasize about various ways I could do it.
Up until now, all of my boyfriends have been against it or didn't seriously contemplate it. They get upset at me for thinking about this, even when I can't control it.
Where can I find someone who doesn't want to 'live forever', someone who'd be willing to commit suicide with me one day. It would be romantic, probably messy too and we could do all sorts of dangerous things together and talk about death like something we're looking forward to, no selfishness and no pleb talk like those who only say it to appear dramatic or crazy.
See a fucking doctor, anon. Why deal with suicidal thoughts and shit when you genuinely don't have to for any reason?
I'm suicidal-thoughts-free for the first time in years thanks to the wonders of getting my brain shocked, but there are other treatments which are usually tried first and are usually effective for people who aren't me, for obvious reasons.
>>17086048
Get out.
>>17086048
This turns me on, be my waifu?
>>17086048
You're am edgy little fuck. See a doctor. You're not thinking long term, please let someone help you.
>>17086052
I'm seeing one but the meds have only made me more suicidal. I've kind of come to terms with the fact that probably I'll never stop being. I'm trying to embrace it and be okay with it.
Is electrotherapy still being used in a lot of countries? It's not in my country, you made me curious. Did the change happen over night?
>>17086054
No.
>>17086056
More details plz
>>17086072
It's not edgy. Some people wish for different things than what life has to offer, it's nothing edgy or special
Why not live? What else are you gonna do? You'll die and then what? Like where are you going g after that?
How do you intend to enjoy your fast-paced risky romantic relationship if you're dead?
Better yet, why do you even want one if you want to die?
>>17086098
It's a childish mentality no matter how you think about it. OP clearly doesn't understand the impact on those around her. and the idea of killing yourself with someone else should never be described as "romantic". It's fucked. Based on OP's tone she does have the capacity to grasp that I suppose.
You're asking for someone to kill themselves because it'll make you feel happy.
Just let that sink in.
>>17086170
She's not saying that she wants somebody to become an hero for her, she wants to find somebody who's on their way to becoming an hero and she wants to share the experience.
Real goth bitch right here, brodie.
>>17086128
I think it's kind of romantic, many star-crossed couples have killed themselves over the ages, but that's neither here or there.
The thing about suicide is you feel guilty about leaving loved ones behind. OP just wants a relationship where there is no such guilty burden.
>>17086048
Find a gothic edgy fag, should be pretty easy to spot them.
>>17086083
What would you like to know.
>>17086182
Yet she feels no guilt for the life-long self-loathing and regret she's about to inflict not only on her own family, but for the family of the young man who she's going to encourage to take his own life.
>>17086199
I believe that's why she specified that she wanted a bf that plans to kill himself regardless, a suicidal boyfriend. Not a random guy she is gonna harass to the point of suicide.
>>17086206
If someone was so lost they were going to kill themselves regardless they'd of done it instead of yearning for love and the chance to get their dick wet.
>>17086199
Why should she feel guilty for how other people will feel when they obviousl never gave a shit in the first place that she is depressed. Guilting someone about feeling guilty for people who probably wont give 2 shits after the funeral luncheon is over is fucking selfish. Fuck off you cliche spouting faggot.
>>17086048
>even when I can't control it
What? You don't have control over yourself?
>Where can I find someone who doesn't want to 'live forever', someone who'd be willing to commit suicide with me one day.
Oh, you're 14. You'll grow out of it. I hope you don't cringe too much when you look back.
go to rock derivative concerts
anything emo related
hang around psychiatry offices
use your noggin ya dingus
Most importantly call this number you beautiful bastard: 1 (800) 273-8255
I legitimately have a fetish for suicidal teens.
It's an odd desire but nothing interests/kinks me more than the idea of turning some qt away from the darkness of death.
In reality most of these girls are attention seeking, too daddy complexed or damaged beyond reason.
In reality part of me likes the idea for the interpreted life debt which I hope to achieve. Save her from death by enriching her life with me.
>>17086098
I'm gonna do whatever dead people do, be dead.
>>17086126
Maybe we're not gonna do it right away, as soon as we get together. Maybe go with the flow until we bring about our end. Who will worry about not having done this or that after what's done is done?
>>17086514
I hope you get help for your anger before you throw away your life to maybe get your dick wet from some hamplanet on the internet.
>>17086601
>Who will worry about not having done this or that after what's done is done?
If that's what you actually think then why does it matter to you if you live out your garbage romantic fantasy or not? Just kill yourself now.
>>17086197
They re not really willing to actually do it, despite their'darkness' and 'fascination with death'.
>>17086212
I'm probably going to, or at least planning to the same way, even if i don't meet someone like minded. It would be nice though, to not exit this world alone.. Maybe there s nothing afterwards, then we'll just sleep together forever...
>>17086524
No, no control over what i feel or long for. Do you?
>>17086524
Make it 25, buddy. My life and self are cringey enough, and have always been, that i admit. Doubt it's going to change as i age
>>17086590
So this is what they call the saviour complex? Can you save me?
>>17086619
Nice projection there friendo
OP I Dont necessarily see this as a good lifestyle but only you know whats best for yourself. Have you exhausted all avenues to find something of equal satisfaction?
>>17086198
Why does it turn you on, what about dath attracts you if it does and how you want to go
>>17086083
Electroconvulsive therapy is a common treatment for people who have tried everything else and are still very depressed or suicidal, or who need treatment which works very quickly, or are pregnant.
Tell your doctor about how you're still suicidal and they may prescribe you something different. Meds aren't supposed to make you *worse*.
>>17086048
Basically
>tfw no cray cray bf
>>17086048
I tried to kms once with pills. That counts timestamp or gtfo tho
>>17086212
>>17086212
>>>17086206
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