So last night my girlfriend was laying on the couch in some nice lacey lingerie. I come home from the gym thinking she wants to fuck, so I come onto her and she keeps pushing me off, telling me she doesn't want to have sex. I keep kissing her and she is laughing and playfully rejecting me and then she says "seriously I don't want to have sex".
So I leave her alone, and I call her out saying she just used me for attention. She of course denies it.
Then just now we go upstairs to clean up before dinner. She lays on the bed doggie style and playfully wiggles her ass. I come onto her again and she rejects me same as last night.
This fucking happens all the time. And she is such a jealous little bitch. If I mention or look at another girl she gets irritated, not like she makes a big deal out of it, but she doesn't like it.
We rarely have sex anymore. And I get rejected like 10-20 times before we actually do have sex. The only surefire way to get her to want sex is when she is drinking, and honestly she annoys me when she is drunk, and it's kind of off-putting that she only wants sex when she is drunk.
Other times we have sex is when I'm distant because she has made me upset. This doesn't always happen, but if I'm distant a whole day by that evening we usually have sex. And sometimes when I get rejected by her I get upset, and then she blames me for making her feel guilty.
Honestly this shit pisses me off so bad I just wanna say fuck it and cheat on her. She seems to have virtually no sex drive anymore, even though it was like a fucking porno when we first started dating.
She's using and abusing you. Dump her.
>>17080743
I dont think it is quite that dramatic.
Every other aspect of the relationship is quite good. Just getting sick of her having low libido.
>>17080749
DUMP HER OP SHE'S CHEATING
>>17080623
Just fuck someone else.
It's one thing to not want sex... I mean, that's fine. You can just jerk it anyway and shit...
It's another when she's deliberately being sexy even though she won't do anythin' with you. Fuck some other girl.
>>17080623
Have you even talked to her about it? Is she physically okay - did she hurt herself recently or something?
>>17080623
she's abusing you emotionally. have you asked her why she does this? try to sit down and talk with her and see if she has deeper issues with her sexuality.
Take away her power - stop approaching or asking for sex, stop giving in to her manipulations. Ignore her teases. Eventually, if she does truly want you, she'll come to you
>>17080781
>>17080778
She's not physically injured. It started when she got on birth control. Her libido tanked. Like completely gone. We have sex roughly once a week now, and I've talked to her about it.
She says she feels bad about not having a sex drive, but that she just isn't really in the mood anymore. She stopped taking birth control and it helped a bit honestly
>>17080623
Fuck her dude . What a head trip, Jezebel ass bitch. Don't let her control you. Fcuking leave her i hate girls like that. although it's probaly not her fault her behaviour is from past trama, but you don't need that shit on you it aiin't fair leave the cunt! I wouldn't cheat though these women love drama aand you don't wanna start a war just leave.
>>17080749
You caught in her web she's fucking with you. believe me I know.
>>17081025
this is the only answer. don't play her games. if she gets upset (she will) that you don't come on to her anymore, tell her the truth. you were tired of her being a tease and you just assume shes not serious now when she does that shit. in the meantime, go workout and shit and make your appearance around her top notch. role reversal dude.
>>17081060
Start denying her when she wants it. Hold out until she does, and then tell her no. Tease her, and then deny her. It'll take an iron will to do so, but maybe it'll get her to figure out that, hey, getting shut down sucks.
>>17081109
Again, I think this is garden variety female fuckery stemming from insecurity/incompetence, not anything malicious.
>>17081097
I mean yea, obviously this is bullshit, but other than this our relationship is pretty much ideal. I mean leave her and then turn to who? Other women, who will do this, and so much worse?
>>17081115
I'm already fit. If I'm ever in a shirtless situation girls eyes are usually glued to me. Even had one girl tell me i had a perfect bod in front of her bf. Dont think looks are a problem, but i guess I'll have to ignore her sexually for a while since that has worked in the past and you guys are suggesting it.
>>17081124
Sounds like a pretty shitty relationship if this is the ideal. She's great everywhere except she'll never touch you and teases you.
She's immature and thinks it's funny to tease you like this. She likes the feeling of you wanting her so she'll do whatever to get that attention even if it means it ends with you getting pissed off. I was the same way when I was younger to my boyfriend at the time. Not much you can do besides talking to her, but it seems your attempts to talk to her isn't working since she continues to pull this shit.
>>17081025
This.
She can blame it on birth control pills and having a low libido all she wants but when she's lying around in sex lingerie and outright wiggling her ass in your face then it's just head games. Don't be the fucking moron who falls for it.
>>17081140
Thanks femanon, any tips besides talking to her?
>>17080623
maybe she actually wants to fool around and not have sex? that seems clear put. cause she would be doing a disservice to her self too since shes getting her self horny. but she actually just wants to play around. as for looking at other girls, im sure youre looking for like 15 seconds instead of a glance or else it wouldnt be a big deal.
>>17080623
sometimes women just dont want to have sex why is that so hard to understand
>>17080623
>I get rejected like 10-20 times before we actually do have sex
bruh..................................
>>17081124
Don't under estimate the hidden evil within the female.
>>17081124
"It's your life it's your call. Stand up or enjoy your fall."
>>17081060
Bullshit.
If pills were indeed to blame for "low libido",
how to explain the lingerie and ass-wiggling?
>>17080623
Dump. Her. Now.
Why don't people get the fuckin picture?
alright anon, here's some food for thought from the other side of this. First of all, the fact that you often have sex after ignoring her for a whole day out of anger or irritation is somewhat of a red flag to me. It's possible that this is due to being ignored turning her on (which is I guess something that happens to some people) but it also kind of sounds like she feels guilty and is having sex to try and make up for it. This is of course massively unhealthy if it's not only a pattern, but also one of the only times you guys have sex. If you care about her well being you need to talk about this with her honestly and find out what's going on.
Speaking of caring about her well being, you need to not get angry at her for turning down sex. No matter what your relationship, sex is never ever owed. You deserve a sexually functional relationship, and breaking up over lack of sex is totally fair, but blaming her and especially getting mad when you're turned down is really unhealthy and isn't going to help your sex life with her either.
To shed some light on her behavior and also the possible consequences of your thinking, I'm a woman with a generally pretty low libido. Things were so-so with my boyfriend; even though my libido is low, he was able to turn me on and with some effort on my part we were able to have some semblance of a sex life. Some things happened and at some point I ended up digging up some old sexual trauma and it became extremely hard for me to have sex, so instead I was trying to take baby steps; sexy cuddling, playful flirting or nudity, sensual-but-not-sexual touching, etc. to try and kind of condition myself to not be afraid of these things one at a time. He ended up responding somewhat similarly and when we finally communicated over it, he made it clear that he wasn't capable of dealing with that because it felt too much like teasing. Well, fast forward a year and we've now experienced complete bed death. (continued)
>>17081626
because I didn't feel like I could be at all sexual with him without full on committing to sex, and since sex wasn't something I was able to do comfortably, I ended up just becoming completely non-sexual.
There's a lot of shame and guilt that surrounds having a low libido especially when you're in a relationship. At this point her actions sound very familiar to me and it sounds like she may have started to associate sex with feelings of shame and guilt. Beyond my trauma I've always been pretty bad in bed probably mostly because of my awkwardness over thinking I'm bad in bed. When I made mistakes my bf would be pretty harsh with me, which would really just make me not want to have sex at all ever even more.
I don't know the specifics of your exact relationship, but it sounds like there might be a great deal of negativity surrounding your guys's sex life right now, and until you make an active effort with her to make it a fun and pleasurable and fulfilling experience for both of you mutually I think her sexual function is only going to continue to plummet.
hey OP thats some toxic unhappy bullshit and you should end it. end of story, I have no more advice for you.
>>17080623
I feel like there can be a lot of reasons for her acting like this. Childhood trauma, perhaps it turns her on to be "a victim" while you play the passionate boyfriend who can't get enough of her while she has to push you away. It's, however, really bad that she guilt trips you, because it looks like you are trying really hard to make it work.
Either way it all comes down to communication. Really sit down with her and discuss your wants. Tell her that her sexy ass wiggling/lingerie wearing turns you on and ask why she does it if she doesn't want sex (Doesn't hurt to throw in that you think she is unbelievably sexy, stroke her ego a little bit). Do not blame her for anything she does, and speak from your perspective, how it makes you feel. That you try your hardest to make your sex life work, and also that you wish you two could have sex more often. But also ask her how this could happen, is there anything that she wishes? Any fantasies she wants to indulge in? What can you do to turn her on more? And remember to start off with that you love her and wants to stay together but that you two need to work this out, so she doesn't believe you are trying to guilt trip her/break up, and gets defensive/crying like a bitch.
>>17080623
don't cheat on her, just dump her ass and if she's not scrambling to get you back she isn't really that into you
fuck you're not married can imagine what that's going to be like? she won't even dress sexy for you but she'll deny you even more because you're stuck now
>>17080623
Leave her if u wanna fuck someone else, don't be a dick.
>>17081588
clueless girl logic
>well I don't want to have sex but if I act sexy for him that's almost as good right?
>>17081588
The ass wiggling and lingerie are a dumb form of playfulness. Like if she walked past him and tugged on his tool in a playful manner but with no intention of dropping to her knees right there and then (which is what we want ladies, when you do stuff like that).
My ex's libido tanked after she switched birth control types.... Not saying it isn't impossible...
But I ended up breaking up with her
>>17080623
A couple is supposed to have a healthy sex life among other things. On top of that she sounds emotionally abusive. You could try having an honest conversation about what is wrong, and if she's still being vague then dump her.
>>17081060
Then get her completely off birth control.
Problem solved dumbass.
>>17081626
>>17081637
You need to get the fuck over your "sexual trauma" and start living your life, because you only live once and you better make the most of it!
Unless you don't wanna have sex out of choice, in which case you are a cunt for stringing your poor boyfriend along.
Next time she teases you go into the bathroom and have a cheeky wank with porn blasting at full volume. Come out looking super satisfied and just give her a "what's up?" look before going about your business.
That'll teach her to cry boner wolf
>>17082016
Don't even go into the bathroom lol, just do it right there. Fap to your ex/someone you know if you could.
>>17082016
Lolol boner wolf
>>17080623
Bet you she has a rape fantasy that she is trying to get you to act on without actually saying she has a rape fantasy. Or she is just a cunt that enjoys abusing your beta ass because she knows she can get away with it.
T A L K
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Ya lousy faggot.
Bring it up with her. Ask what the meaning is for being a tease and denying you, blue balling you and ABUSING your sexual needs.
Yes, a high lack of physical, emotional and/or sexual intimacy, whether deliberate or a consequence of something else, is abuse. And judging by the sound of it, the abuse is obviously working you down.
Don't just go into it thinking she's at fault. Look for the core of the issue together. Once you find out what's wrong, fix it.
If she's unwilling to talk about it, explore why. Then delicately diffuse each problem until you get to the core.
If she's flippantly refusing to discuss anything about it, feel free to expect the worst. You can dump her afterwards, if you want... Or, just buy a sex toy for yourself.
Look. Diplomacy works. Women pick guys on a basis of how hard and assertive they are, but they stick with guys who can be soft and flexible as well.
This is my boyfriend. Getting real tired of his limp dick shit. But when I asked for advice, it was my fault and was asked from everything about my weight to hygiene. When that didn't satisfy anons, they told me he's depressed.
So maybe she's depressed op.
Maybe your dick smells or you aren't attractive enough for her.
>>17082039
ur a funny one.
>>17080623
Have you considered talking to her about it, you idiot?
Jesus. Tell her it fucking annoys you and tell her you're going to break up and see other women if she doesn't at least meet you half way with this.
Establish rules. Be a man.
>>17082031
I wonder how telling it is that I found it really strange that this wasn't brought up earlier in the thread.
Would she ever actually report you if you 'raped' her? Have you ever tried BDSM stuff together, or has she done in the past that you know of?
>>17080749
>Just getting sick of her having low libido.
This isn't low libido, OP. It is sadism. She's getting off on this just fine.
But the thing about sadism is that it needs to be paired with macoshism to arrive at any semblance of a healthy relationship, and you are not a masochist. Write this off as sexual incompatibility and get out of there.
>>17081637
Thanks for the insightful response. I do think we are kind of falling into a negative pattern, and I have tried calmly and gently talking to her about it a million times, and all she can come up with is "I have a low sex drive and I don't feel good about it".
Which, I can accept that, she is a girl and I'm a guy, it isn't unusual that I desire sex more than her, but last night after I left the thread before bed this happened.
>laying in bed
>using my electric muscle stimulator on my arm
>my hand is contracting and releasing
>she puts my hand on her vagina
>says she wants to see if it will vibrate
>I ask her if it feels good
>she says yea
>start to rub her clit
>she pushes me away
>whatever, think back to the advice about ignoring her advances
>give up and act like it's no big deal
>she asks me what's wrong
>i say nothing
>she rolls over all quiet and acts like she's been offended somehow
>ask her if something is wrong, she says no in an irritable tone
>say "okay" turn off the light and go to bed
>she falls asleep quickly
>I'm on the other hand extremely horny
>think about fapping but decide against it
>decide I'm gonna fuck her while she's asleep, I have occasional bouts of sexsomnia, meaning I jack off/rub my gf's clit, or sometimes even fuck her in my sleep
>this time I'm fully awake
>roll my gf over
>start rubbing her clit
>she always tells me how hot sleep sex is, maybe this is what she was waiting for
>she opens her legs, totally receptive
>I take off her underwear and put it in
>at first she seems to be enjoying it, then she starts pushing me off again
>seems to be on the verge of tears so I get off of her
>she rolls over
>ask her whats wrong
>she ignores me and finally says she is fine
>I shortly fall asleep after this
>this morning she told me to stop waking her up for sex
>every other time we've had middle of the night sex she has thanked me
>>17082418
she has issues. get ur butts to counseling and talk all of this over with a witness / objective professional
>>17082438
I've been to a therapist before and they're usually retards, she's been to one but it was just a lady who listened to her vent.
Her little sister went to one if first grade and had a downright awful experience.
It has been my experience that when therapists have the job of "fixing" you, they assume they know the root of the problem and then continue down that path with a scorched earth policy.
Another example, my friend had a girlfriend in high school. She had anxiety so her parents sent her to a psychiatrist, who promptly prescribed her xanax, and then spent their entire session drilling her as to whether or not she was sexually active, or using recreational drugs. Of course, at the start of her therapy she wasn't, but she went on to have sex and experiment with drugs. Not that having sex or smoking weed isn't a normal thing to try in high school, but I think it just goes to show the futility of "professional" help, in most cases.
And on top of that we don't have money to throw around $200 for couples therapy per session.
OP have you considered she doesn't want to fuck you because you're acting like a little bitch?
Slipped into the same shit with my bf but we are mature enough to talk through it. Whenever he wanted to fuck he'd kiss me like 2 times then rub his boner on me.
Sounds like she's trying to be playful, have a bit of fun etc and you're take this as a green light and try to put your dick in her.
Foreplay is a thing my friend
>>17080765
Not necessarily. Even low libido people tend to want to fuck all day when they just got together with someone and are wildly in love and everythinǵ's new. It's only over time (few months to a few years) that someone's real, day to day sex drive surfaces.
>>17082458
I'm aware foreplay is a thing, and I'm not some neanderthal who just hits her over the head with the proverbial club to drag her back to my cave
>>17082461
So is there a cure for low libido if this is just her natural sex drive
>>17082471
No cure. If this is an issue in your relationship (eg, she does think that you're a lousy lover, she wants another kind of sex than you've had, she resents you for things and actively does this to punish you), it could be solved if you're able to talk about it in a mature way. (Although I'd say you'd have to have fucked her over badly for her to act like this on purpose to spite you, and for you to look past that.)
If this is just her sincere sex drive, then that's it. It is possible to get used to more sex than you'd like, just like it's possible to get used to less sex than you'd like, but it's not pleasant and takes investment and effort which most people are not happy about putting in. And even then she would never turn into some nympho, she'd just be able to live with adjusting to your needs more.
>>17080749
That isn't low-libido, that's manipulation and power games.
Next time she seems flirty, simply ask, "do you want to fool around?" If she says no, then go about your business.
Stop falling for the bait.
also, probably time to move on. You are too young to be getting cock blocked by your own gf. This behavior will spread too other corners of your relationship, and when it's money, it won't be cute.
>>17081640
This!
>>17080623
surprise butt sex time OP. Do it.
>>17082418
that's rape anon. You need to reevaluate your view of sexuality because it's been poisoned. Honestly you need therapy and she does too and you both need couples counseling. Your relationship is obviously broken. You can say that it's fine in every other way but I find that your sex life is where a lot of shit accumulates and if the sex isn't working then it's usually a symptom of the relationship as a whole.
She obviously needs therapy for her own individual sexual issues, and you need therapy if you thought that raping your girlfriend in her sleep was a good idea.
That's not to say that you're a monster or a sociopath, it's not necessarily a character flaw of your own that drove you to do that. Our ideas of masculinity and sex and consent are really fucked up as a culture, and it's likely you were just working off that. But even still, you need therapy to correct that thinking and overcome the stupid toxic bullshit that society teaches us.
> laying on the couch in some nice lacey lingerie
>She lays on the bed doggie style and playfully wiggles her ass
this is the issue you should be bringing up with her, the low sex drive from birth control is one thing, but paired with actions like this? Confront her about dong shit like that.
>>17083133
and if you don't like your therapist at first you can keep getting referrals until you find one that matches with you. They can't force you to take medication unless they've deemed you a danger to yourself or others.
>>17081385
Why lay on couch with sexy lingerie, what idea is she trying to put out. Why get on the bleed and shake your assistance at him doggy style if you don't want sex? Her actions do not match her words
You're a fucking retard.
Lol, what an entitled bitch, she has a fit guy for a BF and she's pulling this shit, this is what happens when you date white women.
I have a mid eastern girlfriend and I get sex on tap, whenever I want.
OP, downgrade the cunt to a side bitch while you look for another woman.
>>17080623
>White women
>>17080623
Go gay. Simple as that.
Tighter holes, less mind games.
>OP is unhappy, but isn't prepared to lose his GF over it, so he just has to deal with it and cry on 4chinz like a whiny bitch
Sorry bro, until you're willing to dump her, you really have no bargaining power. When my ex went on depo, her sex drive tanked. I put up with it for a few months, we talked, nothing really changed. I packed up all her shit, and set it by the front door, and when she got home from work, I told her it was over and I told her that I couldn't be in a sexless relationship, or one where I had no self-worth by practically begging for sex. After that, I got laid whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted.
TL;DR- if you're not willing to end the relationship, you really have no bargaining power, and shit will never change
>>17083896
All the middle eastern people I know are from my gym, and their women are ugly as shit, and the average IQ of a sand nigger is 80. Not saying your girl is ugly or a retard, but I'd rather invest energy into my current relationship than dump her to go look for a needle in a haystack of shit culture.
>>17083966
You're probably dealing with turks and arabs, they're shit tier sand niggers but Persian girls are the cream of the crop, educated and loyal.
>>17084007
Yea probably, I'm wel aware Syrians and Persians are indo-european. The people in my gym have oversized ears and noses, and lovely monobrow to complement their cream of shit skin
>>17084016
The semetic ones like you described are bottom of the barrel trash, turks, arabs, ect.
But Persians though, they will appreciate you, specially since you're ripped.
Don't bother with white girls, they're nice to fuck and chuck but not relationship material.
>>17084038
I had a Persian bio professor. She was like 60 but still had a fat ass and a nice body. But afaik she is the only persian woman I ever met.
Shes cheating on you, wake up.
>>17080623
Have you ever heard of projection anon?
if someone is overly jealous and freaks about cheating when you have done nothing wrong that usually means they are the ones having those thoughts and because they have those thoughts they think you do as well. It's basically "If I am capable of cheating, that means he is!"
She is either thinking about cheating or is already doing it. Because she's capable of it means she knows the things you would be hiding or doing if you were too.
I had an ex that was always extremely jealous of me. Every girl I passed on the street she would freak out. In the end she cheated on me. After years of taking jealous abuse she does the exact same shit she was so critical of. Because she was trying to stop me from doing the shit she was thinking about doing.
I was dating another girl after her that was obsessed with the idea that I was going to leave her for my ex and I was still in love with my ex. Every other week she would just get super angry and bitchy to me about how I was going to leave her for the girl that cheated on me. She also constantly complained about her BF before me. Just all the time. I saw the signs this time and left her as soon as I could because I just didn't want to deal with that shit anymore.
The comments here are a being a bit dramatic. She doesn't sound that crazy to me. She wants to feel sexy and she likes to tease you but she just doesn't want to have sex all the time.
Fairly normal woman behavior. In my own relationship I have to make quite a bit of effort to get my gf in the mood. When I say 'a bit of effort' I mean I can't just start humping her while she is sat on the couch watching TV.
Do you feel horny yourself when she does these things? Sometimes I feel a bit horny buy my heart isn't in it and she can tell. She knows I'm not like "Woah baby I need to bang you" and instead I'm like "Uh, I kinda wanna blow a load in you -- do you mind?"
Many women (even most) are not going to fuck you like crazy after you've been with them for a few years. You're going to have to deal with it at some point.
