Long question, if you're not interested that is okay. I am trying to be a less judgmental individual. I have a girlfriend of about a year whom I care for very deeply, the only issue is we don't see eye to eye on a few (I think important) things.
First off we like similar music except for she "loves" country but only listens to it when I'm not around. My thinking on the matter has always been either stupid people like country or country makes people stupid, it's more vapid than 80's pop.
Second she is a deist and can't explain it, I wouldn't mind if she could... but fuck... "I don't know, faith can't be explained" is just some bs. She isn't a christian even (though she did use the what if a day isn't 24 hrs bs argument in support of Genesis.) She's a molecular biologist; I don't get how she can be so logical in the rest of her life but just not apply it here.
She is perfect otherwise, gorgeous, has opinions, is somewhat experimental sexually without being a slut, probably the funniest girl I've ever met, very similar interests...
How do I keep from being such a pretentious ass? Ask me anything if need be. Dumping QTs for a few hours.
Caring about what music your partner enjoys, ESPECIALLY when they don't bother you with it, is incredibly petty. I'd bet there's many people who consider your musical tastes shit and more vapid than 80s pop.
Why care if she's a deist? Deism is borderline agnosticism and some of the smartest people in the history of the world have been deists. It's not an unreasonable position to take.
Keep being a pretentious ass and dump her. She sounds way too good for you.
What is your problem with deism? Logically speaking
>>17079958
I'd wager vapidity is objective but my music is shit by most people's taste, point taken.
I understand what you mean about history, but historically we didn't know what DNA was or that the solar system is heliocentric... I place very little stock in what has been right or even acceptable historically. Thanks for the input, I appreciate it.
PS, this is a worksafe board yes?
who gives a FUCK
>>17079979
Without going into Christianity, as it is largely irrelevant, I have absolutely no problem with an agnostic Spinozist. It's that she can't explain it/fails to look at it logically.
>>17079986
I care about arguably the biggest decision I will ever make in my time on Earth.
>>17080000
I don't know how that got in there.
>>17079991
That's the only cute girl you've posted so far, dude.
>>17080010
I am going in order, maybe you find the coming material more suitable.
>>17080000
what? dumping a girl over her views on music and religion is your biggest decision?
yeah you reek of 14 year old
>>17080022
26 and yes. My only other LTR ended for a similar reason.
What are your characteristics, op? You are extremely willing to talk shot on your girlfriend but won't dish on yourself
>>17080135
I'm mostly complaining about myself, not her, nonetheless I am a standard 4chan user (26/m/white/new England/college degree)), maybe slightly more successful financially as i have a decent to good job, 7/10 looks on an avg day, neurotic... idk what you want to know really.
>>17079939
>faith can't be explained
It can't be you stupid fuck. No more than the multiverse can be explained or what came before the big bang. You simply choose to believe.
>either stupid people like country or country makes people stupid
>stop liking things I don't like
You sound like a massive fucking faggot, She's going to leave you eventually.
Only have 12 minutes or so left, posting on phone as well, I appreciate all input.
>>17080184
creationism=/=faith, simply don't profess to "know" which is all faith is, without any rationale.
Also, you may be right, which is why I'm trying to fix my personality before it's too late.
>>17079939
You sound like a whiny sperg; lighten up.
>>17080206
how do you recommend doing so? I've been either depressed or anxious for about 11 years.
>>17080210
Just stop giving a shit about her personal tastes as long as they don't interfere with your relationship. From what you've said it sounds like she's gone out of her way to avoid exposing you to her music and I'd be willing to bet that you bring up religion more than she does. Neither of those things are "important" and you need better help than you can get here if you think they are.
>>17080195
>faith
>strong belief or trust in someone or something
>such as creatonism or God or The Big Bang or
>belief in the existence of God : strong religious feelings or beliefs
Again, faith is just choosing to believe. You don't have to have a reason and don't need to explain why. You just simply choose to.
>Also, you may be right, which is why I'm trying to fix my personality before it's too late.
Step one, you're not as smart as you think you are. Quite the opposite in fact.
>>17079939
it sounds like you don't really have any issues other than bull shit you've decided to fixate on for no reason.
For her own good I advise you to keep it up op, for sooner or later your girl will come to the conclusion there are better ways to spend her time then dating a judgmental ass(and free herself of your presence).
I mean really?
>i've told her I only think stupid people like country music and therefore she is stupid for liking it.
>>she stops listening to country when i'm around because i make her feel bad for liking something I don't like.
reaaaaaaaally op. Music is pretty much the most subjective of the arts in regards to quality, and you have the gall to give her shit over her enjoyment of it?
and i'll just say gods help you op, for I don't even want to get started with everything that's wrong with this sentence.
> is somewhat experimental sexually without being a slut
just stop being a child, fuck.
>>17080226
sorry i mis-typed. I meant to say
"Just stop being an asshat"
>>17080220
I've always thought one should have a reason for everything they do, why should it be otherwise?
Okay so I'm not smart where do I go from here?
>>17080218
You think therapy is in order for fixating on things?
>>17080153
ok, troll thread.
>>17080226
The reason is I think things like this especially the latter can cause rifts between people so I'd rather not invest too much of my time to end up in despair.
and I see nothing wrong with the last point, thanks for the input
>>17080238
>I've always thought one should have a reason for everything they do
she does have a reason, it makes her happy to do so(and that's useally as much reason as anyone needs). as where to go from here, it looks bleak on your end considering all you need to do is relax and stop reacting to everything like a child. this takes time and I'm not sure things between you and your girl will last long enough for you to developed some maturity.
>>17080242
No, just spend some time thinking and pulling your head out of your ass.
>>17080255
I just don't understand the ignorance is bliss concept. Again it's not a problem with deism per se, just the lack of thought put into such a thing. I am having a very very hard time getting over it.
>>17080262
been 2.5 months of thinking about this 4-10 hrs a day. Things are fine when we are together, however, I don't bring this up but it eats at me.
>>17079939
>My thinking on the matter has always been either stupid people like country or country makes people stupid
And what sort of thinking lead you there?
>>17080253
>The reason is I think things like this especially the latter can cause rifts between people
music taste doesn't matter, it's not even on the secondry list of things that matter. the only reaosn they can is due to how you handled it.
YOU INSULTED HER, for liking something you don't. Thats never cool op, especially coming from a significant other.
the issue with the last point is this, she might like certain things in the bedroom that you like, and that means shes the "right" level of matching what you like. thing is by saying "without being slutty" infers you'll shit on her the instant she decides she wants to try something you're uncomfortable with. slut shaming etc.
Point being from here it seems from what you've said so far, that anytime she decides she likes or acts a way you don't agree with you insult her. that shit not cool
>>17080271
>I just don't understand the ignorance is bliss concept.
It's not ignorance. Deism is basically saying "I don't think that the world as it exists is possible to explain through purely rational means so therefore there must be an irrational component to existence".
>been 2.5 months of thinking about this 4-10 hrs a day. Things are fine when we are together, however, I don't bring this up but it eats at me.
That's not thinking, that's brooding and it's not healthy.
>>17080271
>ignorance is bliss concept.
Again, it isn't ignorance or stupidity to believe in a god. Actually, quite the opposite. To straight up say "there is no god" takes as much faith as saying "there is a god"
It's literally impossible to prove either way. This is why people that are actually intelligent are annoyed by atheists so fucking much. Atheists don't understand the hypocrisy.
>>17080271
>ignorance is bliss concept
ok, spell out for me. clearly what question you have concerning why she adheres to deist beliefs
>>17080284
That is a good way to put it. Maybe I'm better off not leading her on then if I can't accept differences in a few relatively minor areas.
>>17080273
statistics regarding states where country is popular vs intelligence, research and personal experience, the same way I thought all opinions were formed, reason.
>>17080293
Thanks for that way of looking at it, similar to The Age of Reason's rationale, as to the brooding, that is why I am here.
>>17080297
I'm an agnostic atheist I have no "faith" in either I just don't see why one should have any faith at all.
>>17080271
Think about this for a second anon since you fail so hard at logic.
It's better to believe in God than to not believe because if you do believe and there isn't actually a God then worst case scenario is you die and are gone forever.
Best case you get to go to Heaven. If you choose to not believe then you are guaranteed a lose/lose situation. Either you just die and that's it or you end up going to hell to burn for all eternity.
If that isn't sound logic then I don't know what is.
>>17079939
Hah OP, this girl sounds amazing, nice catch OP.
About the country music, I listen too. Only person i've met who can tolerate it. Got an excuse though (texan).
And about the deism: it's just a vague belief in a higher power.
Thinking about it logically isn't going to work, deism is just the pure application of faith in a person who otherwise would be agnostic/atheist. It's emotional rather than rational. And there's nothing wrong with that.
>>17080298
1. Maybe she'll findd someone with similar beliefs and leave me, whether due to her mother's suggestion or her own realization that she does find such a similarity important.
2. maybe she starts spending more of her time engaging in religious activities to the extent that she resents time spent with her heretic SO.
3. She meets a good God fearing boy and they elope, idk
Again Neurosis and projection I know but I can't help it, especially as this is what happened to me in my first LTR and I didn't figure out this one even believed in God until 7 months in.
>>17080319
Pascal's wager is based on many false assumptions, mainly that God won't see through your opportunist beliefs...
I'm familiar with this and the ontological argument and several of the other supposed reasons for belief. They don't hold up.
>>17080323
Fuck some Texans make it so hard to hate them...
Where is the emotional payoff? I don't get how you don't look into things until your beliefs are less than vague about...you know... the reason you exist and all.
argh. Thank you.
This is getting constructive. Have a butt.
>>17080337
again, since you're having such a hard time.
Not believing is literally the same leap of logic as truly believing. Asking someone why the choose to have faith they can easily reply "Why do you choose not to?"
>>17080311
>statistics regarding states where country is popular vs intelligence, research and personal experience, the same way I thought all opinions were formed, reason.
Do you have any studies that point to causation over correlation? And comparing it to other types of music?
Part of me wants to be impressed you actually put research into whether country music makes people dumb. But this is 4chan so I'm just going to say that sounds autistic as fuck. :^)
>>17080328
concern 3) this wouldn't happen, as she is an adult. so however much time see spends currently engaging in religious activities is kinda the amount she wants to spend doing it. So unless she suddenly come down with cancer and is dying, she won't suddenly wake up one day and become a religious fanatic
concern 2)as for the meeting a god fearing boy and running away, you do understand if she were THAT kinda girl. she would have never started dating you in the first place right?
concern 1) if she leaves you, it won't be over the lack of chemistry over beliefs. for she has already demonstrated being with someone with like beliefs isn't a big deal to her. as she started and has kept dating you.
>
Again Neurosis and projection I know but I can't help it, especially as this is what happened to me in my first LTR
what wait, is this a LTR?
>>17080359
Long term relationship, together for 18 months she went to a catholic college after being an atheist and got into theology and now posts about how "He has ordained for everything" etc. erry day on FB.
>>17080356
one sec bud.
>>17080337
>>17080349
Do you subscribe to the idea of the multiverse. If it can happen, it will happen. Which means there is an infinite probability for god to exist.
>>17080349
We aren't born with the concept of God. I make no leaps of logic and neither does she as she is an agnostic deist, it's just so hard to see the concept of a personal God persist as one could ascribe that label to the laws of nature...
>>17080311
>what is correlation
>your faith in statistics cannot be explained.
>>17080374
>We aren't born with the concept of God
We also aren't born a complete full sized adult. That doesn't mean you aren't going to grow.
>>17080372
No multiverse, and I've heard the argument, reminds me of Drake's equation. kudos.
>>17080380
it's not faith it is reason.
>>17080384
ugh. I'm not stating that is regression rather that to be an agnostic requires no input whereas you need contact with other theists to become theist.
>>17080356
quick grab of a study, you're welcome to do more research but what was obvious persists, less intelligent people like gangsta rap and country.
>>17080392
I'll add that my taste in Brand New is middling at best. Nonetheless I would relegate it to correlation but music/tv/film represent such a great portion of one's stimuli that I'm sure they have an impact over time.
>>17079939
I know what you mean about country - for me, it's the sociocultural associations (racism, sexism, etc.) that it's been historically associated with which bug me. Maybe listen to the country music she likes and see if it's actually there?
As for the deism, I do know exactly what you're talking about. I felt for a very long time like people who were willing to commit the "philosophical suicide" of faith (existentialism ftw) were somehow spiritual sellouts who deserved nothing but derision.
But then some shit happened, and whenever I try to explain it, things get cloudy and weird and I can't use words right anymore. So I won't try here. But I will say that deep down, I think you know that every person is limited by something, and words are ultimately a pretty shitty form of communication when it comes to the important stuff. They're imprecise. They mean a bunch of different things to different people. Semiotically speaking, there's no universally constant dictionary for sign and signifier, and the signified is basically impossible to even describe linguistically. So think of it like that: she literally doesn't have the language to describe her feelings about god. Neither do I. Neither do you. Neither does anybody. Because, both scientifically and religiously, we're talking about shit that's completely outside the timespace continuum, and in a dimension unable to be experienced by the human mind as we know it.
Talk with her about maybe finding songs that express it, or paintings or dances or something else. Let go of the words. They'll break you up. And if you like her, you won't want that.
Don't allow your smartness to lure you into the belief that people who believe are worth less than you. It's a trap. And a paradox. And the only way to resolve a paradox is to step outside of it and find another system of information.
Dunno; hope this isn't just crazy rambling to you, because I really do empathize with your position.
>>17080319
I hate that fucking wager and here's why.
>if you chose to belief in god and play the part until you die and it turns out there is a god. you MIGHT go to heaven. Only might though since there are lost of conflicting religions to chose from that also state if you choose to worship any religion but the "correct" one you'll burn in hell.
like there's no telling how many of ever exist in the history of the human race, but just counting
those that exict in mondrn times. there are 4200 distaince ones runing about in the world. so i would have a 1 in 4200 chance of picking the "right one" ...so statistically speaking i'm fucked anyways.
or
>if you choose to believe and there is no heaven, you wasted what little time you have to exist observing a religion you didn't believe. wasted countless hours going through the motion getting nothing for your trouble but helping to reinforce others to likewise waste their life in pointlessness.
like i'm fucked no matter what i do.
>>17080328
>1. Maybe she'll findd someone with similar beliefs and leave me, whether due to her mother's suggestion or her own realization that she does find such a similarity important.
>2. maybe she starts spending more of her time engaging in religious activities to the extent that she resents time spent with her heretic SO.
>3. She meets a good God fearing boy and they elope, idk
This isn't gonna happen. Deism is a loose, nebulous belief, it's extremely rare to find someone who's strict or serious about it.
Look at it this way, it's on the spectrum with deism--agnosticism--atheism
atheists are sure there's no higher power, deists are sure there is
but none of the three consider religion to be an important part of their lives
>>17080319
screw that, pic related
>>17080392
Just on a large scale, since both are popular in places where low education is also popular
aka urban ghettos and the deep south
>>17080405
sooo many spelling errors...sigh
>>17080403
That is the best answer I've ever heard to this or any other question on this board. I am trying to find country I like and it exists, and she has made some good points about music being less about the words to her and more about the rhythm... As for the shortcomings of language, though it is the house of being I see what you mean there is so much room for interpretation that someone may (rightfully) get upset at anything! I am amazed by this board sometimes... Thank you.
>>17080405
pray your god is the right one!
>>17080311
>That is a good way to put it. Maybe I'm better off not leading her on then if I can't accept differences in a few relatively minor areas.
I agree, really it seems like you want things to end at this point. You just seem to feel hesitate about doing since you like her so much otherwise. but these minor things have been bugging you this deeply for so long. perhaps it's time to stop wasting her time and yours and find someone else who matches your tastes in music and fath better.
>>17080392
Correlation is not causation. You're pretty much reading a newspaper headline and saying you know what happened in the world today.
>>17080412
Yeah I realize, just as there are religious fanatics much smarter than me there are probably a few rappers much more intelligent, it's not 100%. Nothing in this word is. Thank you for the perspective, here is another Epicurus I've always loved to open discussions with.
>>17080438
I'm just showing where my prejudice comes from. I'm not saying x is true because y
see
>>17080443
>>17080392
I am a math major about to graduate, I specialized in numerical analysis. I can tell you without data sets listed and what methods they used , that graph means nothing.
>>17080431
I laughed, thanks anion.
>>17080457
gratz on the 300k a year. that particular graph may mean nothing but aggregate all the graphs of music and intelligence and they will likely come to a more statistically significant version of the same. Also think about it this way, there are more superficial lyrics in gangsta rap and country, they are more readily comprehensible, the average person would like to understand the music they listen to, ergo.....
I am almost out of clothed, 3d cuties.
OP, there is nothing wrong with your girlfriend. But with all due respect, you sound like a pretentious moron.
>>17080484
The respect may be undue but the opinion valid, I don't think there is anything wrong with her, she is not the one seeking advice.
>>17080473
Your idea only works if people listen solely to one type of music.
Last image before I stop bumping, it has been a pleasure.
Received some good answers so thank you very much. I hope you all had great days because you did your best.
Catch you later!
>>17080473
so many assumptions in this post
> that particular graph MAY mean nothing
does mean nothing until data sets and me is made available
>but aggregate all the graphs of music and intelligence and THEY WILL LIKELY COME to a more statistically significant version of the same
you can't state that, you have no grounds to state that. until the analysis has been done you're just making up points to support a baseless clam. you're overly entrenched in a biased viewpoint. which is doubly illustrated by your comment
> there are more superficial lyrics in gangsta rap and country, they are more readily comprehensible, the average person would like to understand the music they listen to
like right here you are stating your OPTIONS, and then trying to pass them off as FACTS; all to support a so far baseless opinion you hold.
I personally don't like country or rap, but I also don't look down on people for listening to it. nor do i try to make up a bunch of "facts" to justify why it's ok to insult anyone who has differing musical tastes than my own.
whether or not you stay with your girl, I really think you could benefit from some self examination concerning why you keep resorting to attacking others when you encounter dissenting opinions. instead of being more tolerant of those around you.
>>17079939
Senpai, country music is not vapid. Listen to some Townes Van Zandt or Robbie Basho, you'll realise why.
>>17079939
>though she did use the what if a day isn't 24 hrs bs argument in support of Genesis
How is that a BS argument?
If a deist interprets it like that/ allegorically as a midrash, that kinda solves all his problems.
>>17079983
>I understand what you mean about history, but historically we didn't know what DNA was or that the solar system is heliocentric.
At the time that Planck was a Deist we knew.
At the time Bohr was as well.
Oh, and speaking of that DNA ... the catholic priest Mendel who invented genetics kinda would like to have a word with you. So would the catholic priest lemaitre which came up with the big bang hypothesis.
>>17080337
>I'm familiar with this and the ontological argument and several of the other supposed reasons for belief. They don't hold up.
A attempt to proof god de consensu gentii is though ...
>>17080537
As the other person trying to follow this, here's what it says on the site. Kek
>I've listened to artists who after listening to I thought to myself "Wow... loving this rubbish says a lot about someone and how much they got going on in their head." Could one's musical tastes say something about intelligence? How about SAT scores? Well, like any good scientist, I decided to see how well my personal experience matches reality. How might one do this?
>Get a friend of yours to download, using Facebook, the ten most frequent "favorite music" at every college via that college's Network Statistics page on Facebook (manually -- as not to violate Facebook's ToS). These ten "favorite musics" are perhaps indicative of the overall intellectual milieu of that college.
>Download the average SAT/ACT score (from CollegeBoard) for students attending every college.
>Presto! We have a correlation between musical tastes and dumbitude (smartitude too)!
>Music <=> Colleges <=> Average SAT Scores
>Plot the average SAT of each "favorite music", discarding those with too few samples to have a reliable average.
>Post the results on your website, pondering what the Internet will think of it.
>Yes, I'm aware correlation ≠ causation. The results are hilarity incarnate regardless of causality.
>You can stop sending me email about this distinction. Thanks.
If only OP read the site it was from instead of just looking the graph.
>>17080392
>Foo Fighters and Bon Jovi are more likely to make you dumb than fucking Outkast
Well I... Uh... What?
>>17079939
Honestly she seems much more intelligent than you.
>How do I keep from being such a pretentious ass?
Read a fucking book and become knowledgeable about shit. Pretty difficult for someone's who's legitimately intelligent to look pretentious.
>>17079939
You are a very petty person. Nothing of those are actually an issue.
stop making this thread
the key is acceptance
read about 'acceptance'
>>17079939
Still waiting for you to list the important things. If what you posted are the important things that you are going to ruin your relationship over, I hope you die old and alone
