Scrolling through my texts has really made me realize how few friends I have. I've only texted like 12 people in the past year, half of those have been family members or co-workers, and one prostitute.
I've literally only hung out with 1 person in the past month, who is a good friend I see regularly.
How the fuck are you supposed to meet people when you're an adult? I'm 24 and working, a couple years out of college. I feel like this isolation is negatively affecting other areas of my life, I've been feeling depressed and unmotivated at work lately..
Go to church, if they have people your age they are probably nice. At least if it's a Catholic church, I don't really know other kinds.
Or join a charity group in your area.
>durr but im atheist omg stop shoving ur religion
then disregard my advice and try something else
>>17066804
I occasionally go to church with my parents but it's mostly older people and children, no one my age.
>>17066798
I've never seen anyone 23+ on this site escape NEET-dom or become more social. The best that usually happens is that they get a job and upgrade to shut-in.
Your thread is one of many and /adv/ is shit at giving practical advice.
>>17066804
No one under 30 goes to church unless they're crazy jesus freaks.
>>17066855
Oh shoot :/
Yah most are like that, it's hard to find one with a decent young adult/adult group.
>>17066871
Shut the fuck up, plenty of people get over it.
OP you have to DO something. Now I know that sounds hard and impossible but if you DO something eventually you find other people that DO the thing you do and you end up talking to them.
Be honest, what do you do after work? You probably go home and do fuck all and go to bed, then you go back to work and repeat the cycle.
I'm not even going to tell you what to do, you have to figure that out on your own, but sitting in your house doing fuck all isn't going to get you any friends.
>>17066885
Sometimes I go to the gym, but yeah usually I just come home and sit in front of my computer.. I know I have to do something to try and meet people, I'm just not sure what.
Though I noticed a flyer for softball league at my work the other day, maybe I'll try to join that.
>>17066875
Not true for my church. These are the most fun and normal people ever that I have met and all under 30. They aren't Jesus freaks.
>>17066885
>I'm not even going to tell you what to do, you have to figure that out on your own, but sitting in your house doing fuck all isn't going to get you any friends.
>Your thread is one of many and /adv/ is shit at giving practical advice.
>>17066965
Keep shit posting, retard.
OP doesn't need to be told what to do, he is capable of discovering his own hobbies and interests. He has already said all he does is fuck around on the computer when he gets home.
If he needs to be told what hobbies he's supposed to have then he probably isn't that adjusted for modern society and any advice wouldn't help him anyways.
>>17067068
>claiming that a certain line exists that shouldnt be crossed even by /adv/
>>17066947
I agree with this notion. The media portrays Christians as fanatic about their faith to the point where it is everything that defines them, when in reality Christianity gives a plan for living a real life, enjoying hobbies, working, and finding consolation in a tough world.
Christianity is meant for people to live full lives, not hide out in church. But maybe church is different here in California than it is elsewhere.
>>17067068
>any advice wouldn't help him anyways.
You're basically giving him no advice.
OP I'm sorry but that's as far as these type of threads usually go. In fact if your problem ever got solved on /adv/ then this board would disappear overnight. At least half of the problems on this board due to the lack of socializing.
You can vent here, which is the most you can achieve here.
>>17067195
If you want to, you can post some woman-hating stuff and you'll get a million posts, cos /adv/ is useful like that.
Just ever expect any help from this shithole.
Faggot you think you have no friends? Pic related, it's my contact list
>>17067739
T-thanks anon, I think I feel a little better
>>17067739
Way better than having people who won't ever reply or talk to you.
>>17067739
Mine's like that except I have one friend.
Well, I say friend, more like parasite who calls only when he needs something.
/adv/ is so fucking useless.
>>17066855
Then go to one with younger people. Google it
>>17066871
Yeah you've never seem anyone do that because you've never actually seen someone from 4chan. Fuck off to r9k
>>17066798
the following advice was designed for meeting girls, but it actually works even better when it comes to meeting regular people.
the answer you are looking for is:
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
>>17068010
>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!
and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.
Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.
>>17068009
>not going to give any actual advice.
>>17068012
i started my own meetup last week. forgot to set an event. got an email reminder saying i had 20 people join my group waiting for the actual event.
i made the event this morning. two people already confirmed.
just sayian
>>17066947
>>17067095
Good to know bros. /Southbay/ of Socal here, I'm looking into churches currently. I'm doing it because like OP I only work and then go home, nothing else, so I need to make some healthy normie friends
>>17068014
Why are you even sticking around this thread? You're like some ugly troll under a bridge who's just causing drama and lurking around when no one wants you. And it's 4chan so people will have long chains of reply that never lead anywhere.
I already gave him advice and I'm not going to feed into your bullshit by replying after this. You need to get a life
>>17068018
>socal
neighborino
>>17068012
>>17068010
I guess an ideal event would be comic-con or something but I went once before and kinda seemed like most people my age had already formed their circles.
And checking upon meetup.com, the 'geek' groups seem to be full of regular people.
>>17068039
>EXCUSES
this is why you will fail. you are literally being handed a website of people who share your interests and want to meet you. but you are finding excuses.
dont you want to be a 'regular person' ? if they share your interests than what does it fucking matter?
I look like a normie (pic related) but I like talking about how dinosaurs imght have walked with meso americans, or how the rash on my back looks like the kind that people on the internet said is from alien abductions, or hwo im pretty sure sea monsters are extremely real, or how i put on my mario hat and go to the park with my dog to run around pretending shes yoshi and were fighting goombas (the park has weird mushroom structures) or how the new digimon movies are bretty gud or how i have a collection of jester hats.
i started a meetup group specifically for horror fans who like to talk about their nightmares.
it doesnt matter if they seem like 'regular people'. they share your interests, go talk to them.
>>17068039
You should do something that meets weekly or bi-weekly, not a convention. Give one of those geek groups a shot, if it doesn't work stop going and try a different. I still think church would be a great idea too. Find one
>>17068053
>I like a normie
You look like a manlet, low test twink and I can tell by how you post that you're annoying as fuck irl and are ADHD ridden
>>17066798
OP, what are your passions and proclivities?
>>17068053
>dont you want to be a 'regular person' ? if they share your interests than what does it fucking matter?
I meant, kinda meant it in that they look socially-competent. That new breed of geek that knows their shit but still socially-competent.
>>17068039
>the 'geek' groups seem to be full of regular people
I don't even know where to begin with this. Not every vidya playing, dice rolling, 4chan surfing degenerate is going to look like a hole-dwelling goblin. If you're worried about "fakes," the only way you're going to find someone you actually connect with is by sifting through the masses.
>>17068053
>>17068086
Meant it in that they look socially-competent. That new breed of geek that knows their shit but still socially-competent.
Well all the friends I've met I met through the shitty jobs I worked at, we were all miserable in there so we all just sorta bonded
>>17068091
Just try it then damn man. You might have one bad night or you could find a new group of friends. You have to actually be present or you'll never get new friends, half the battle is just showing up
>>17068062
no wonder you are so good at making friends
>>17068075
unless oyu want to start up that 'NEET MEET' website i was talking about, yes, everyone you mean is going to be some level of socially competent. its better for you to interact with these people than people like you, as otherwise you'd develop your own culture instead of learning how to socialize.
do i look like i know how to socialize? i didnt before. what happened was i changed, by going out and meeting these types of people.
Join a club for something you like or want to try
>>17068110
this. if you arent willing to show up to a group of people specifically looking to meet people like you then why bother askign for advice? this is the closest you can get to cheat codes. someone literally made a group and said 'LETS BE FRIENDS CUZ WE LIKE THE SAME THING' and OPs mad that they arent NEETs.
>>17068113
BUT THE PEOPLE WHO GO TO THOSE ARE SOCIALLY COMPETENT!!1!
>>17068115
It's not about NEETs, I think he's just afraid of being embarrassed and shamed for being awkward. I can understand this fear because I was in the same spot once, but if he doesn't try he's never going to have friends
>>17066798
I'm in the same boat dude. Once you get out of college, it's rough meeting people. Best way to do it is to figure out what you're interested in, then find groups who are also interested in that, and join them. Archery? Look for archery clubs. Games? Find a guild or local hobby store.
>>17068133
>if he doesnt try hes never going to have friends
thats what im saying.
>afraid of being shamed for beign awkward
thats something ew all risk every day. you gotta face it though. just remember that worst case scenario is that your life is exactly the same as it was an hour ago.
>>17068071
I'm kind of a stereotypically nerdy guy. I like video games, comic books etc.
Also really into music, I listen to a lot of /mu/-core type stuff, and play bass a little bit. Also enjoy the outdoors, such as hiking, though I don't get to do that too often.
>>17068133
>It's not about NEETs, I think he's just afraid of being embarrassed and shamed for being awkward.
Basically. I don't want to be the quiet awkward guy in my own damn hobby.
>>17068113
>>17068145
Yeah, I guess I should check meetup.com or something. The problem is most of my hobbies involve consuming media and are kind of solitary by nature.
>>17068205
ive heard htat one, doesnt matter.
horror movies is 'consuming media' but i got a meet up i made for 20 people in just one week. there are book clubs for people who read. there are video game clubs where tehy dont even play video games just talk about it.
whatever your hobby you can fidn a way to include people.
there are groups of people who meet up simply to discuss buffy the vampire slayer twice a year.
if oyu insist that you can only ever enjoy something solitary, why do you want to meet people?
>CUZ I NEED TO SOCIALIZE
then see above. or at the very least go to meet ups for things youd like to take a new interest in.
>>17066798
Probably not the best advice but go on tinder
>People hang out in bars
>Potential friends are in that said place
>Cant go to a bar or club alone or you'll look retarded
>Use tinder grills to go to bars and club
>Meet people in said bars and clubs
Also dont be a greedy asshole, You'll end up being as just friendless as before, Just give a couple rounds and after a couple of times of coming to the same place you'll become a known face and have some people to chat with/hang out with
>grats, you now have friends
Just get creative m8
>>17068236
Not him but how do I shake the feeling I'm just there to meet chicks and fucking up their meetup they legitimately want to be at and participate in? I find that 90% of the places I go to try and make friends or meet people that I wouldn't be there if I wasn't, and don't actually care that much about what's happening there or who is there and I'd rather be playing vidya at home or something instead. I really, really hate the feeling of intruding on something people built out of a genuine passion for something just so I can meet any girls that might happen to be there because as a 4chan user of 11 years and a nerd in general many years before that, I've had to chase those kinds of people out of places I liked before.
How to I not be a shitball about it?
>>17068315
if you dont want to be there to actually make friends, then dont go. that being said if ur gonna go with the hope of meeting girls (not ideal, cuz not a lot of single ladies go to these things) consider the following. it was written without this specific intent in mind but i tihnk it would help the situation:
>dont just hit on a woman
its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.
give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.
doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.
>>17068334
>>if you dont want to be there to actually make friends, then dont go.
But I do. I just end up not giving a shit about the actual subject matter. I met some neat people at the last club I joined, but I realized quickly that the hobby wasn't for me so I felt bad for showing up when I barely practice/have stopped practicing it.
>>17068334
Fucking hell I can sense your fedora from miles away
Fuck off permavirgin, Trust me OP. I was like this guy years ago and you're either way gonna end up with no girls or very ugly ones. Just hit on them, Just fucking go for it. Nothing to lose. Don't tip your fedora like this guy said, not gonna work
>>17068349
>I want to fuck sluts and then go home
You're handing him a screwdriver to turn a lag bolt.
>>17068355
>Hitting on girls =/= fucking them once and get no deeper relationship with said girl
Hitting on someone is a normal thing, You just casually start a fucking conversation and get to know her. Its what normal people do unlike you and your 6 month plan that will never work you neckbeard
>>17068365
>Casually start a normal conversation
>Hitting on someone
Pick one
>>17068349
>I DONT UNDERSTAND SO FEDORA PERMAVIRGIN BUZZWORDS
wow.
>>17068402
Bump.
