Is there anybody who is willing to talk to me for a little bit. I just feel so confused.. I developed feelings for a girl who lives on the other side of the world. I know it doesn't make sense, but I just feel so confused...
Please, please don't say the useless "move on, get over it" statement. It's annoying and shit advice because it's too vague.
>>17062113
ok sure, we're talking now so lets talk
how do you expect to have a relationship without physical intimacy, and where do you ever see this relationship going?
What? It makes sense that you can develop a little crush on a girl far away from you.
Also keep in mind that she is probably taking ten miles of cock an hour for every mile she is away from you. That makes even more sense.
You know what, OP? Screw being sensible.
Go to the other side of the world to be with this girl and have amazing adventures. Why the heck not?
>>17062121
I don't know.. I didn't intend for feelings for her. She's a good friend. But they just happened. I know this is completely unrealistic. she knows it too. it would never work. But I'm so stuck on her... I care about her a lot.
>>17062122
:(
>>17062125
I wish it was that simple
>>17062133
>I wish it was that simple
Your other option is move on, get over it.
Sort of a binary thing here - either do it or don't
not trying to steal your spotlight
having been to some dark places myself, sometimes the best feeling is simply knowing that your actually able to connect with someone on a personal level.
imagine the possibilities
>>17062133
> :(
What are you sad about? You can't trust fucking women if you leave them alone far away. They just become a giant dick-magnet until a swarm of penises hit them in the face.
If you know it's not going to work, then forget it. Don't get hung up on this bitch. You're only setting yourself up for agonizing emotional pain, I fucking guarantee you that.
>>17062137
What does moving on even mean? How do I get over this? I hate that answer because nobody explains what that even is
>>17062144
I know.. I just think this is unavoidable... It just makes me sad as fuck
>>17062138
That is what I like best about her. We connect mentally. We can talk and talk and talk. i feel comfortable enough I could tell her anything.
>>17062150
>What does moving on even mean? How do I get over this?
Typically, you make the effort to find one of the many other girls who have similar things you like about this one, but who aren't on the other side of the planet.
>>17062169
I don't want to talk to other girls. I mean, I never had the intention to find a girlfriend or find "love". It hasn't been something I've been looking for. Just, after time I developed feelings for this girl. It was unintentional.
>>17062156
that's great man.
my point however was that however unique she may be, there are literally millions of women (closer to you) that you could share a connection with.
be generous. invite others into your world. don't simply focus on one that's out of reach, so to speak
>>17062175
so what is it that you're confused about, anon?
>>17062207
just like I know us being together is unrealistic. But I can't shake the feelings I have for her.. even for living so far, she's been a significant part of my life the past 8 months. She knows that being together is unrealistic too, and I sense she is trying to move on herself. I just feel lonely, and terrible right now. all I want to do is hug her..
>>17062219
why do you want to shake the feelings you have for her?
>>17062242
Because I'm hurting. it hurts to think that there is a 99% chance she will have sex with someone else this year, or she will find a better guy. that's reality. and, she deserves the best. And I want her to be happy. So if she finds a good guy that is good to her, and treats her right. Then good for her. So even though I'll be glad for her.. I'll still be just as dead inside
>>17062256
what makes you think she will have sex with someone else, anon?
>>17062290
Just life? I don't know. I mean, I live thousands of miles away. we are not in a relationship. Even though I don't; I think most people have sex a few times a year right? so it seems like it'll happen. or she'll likely find a guy she likes, who is physically there. Someone she can see with her own eyes and not through a screen. Someone who can actually be there for her when she's sad and needs someone. I can't do any of that.
Should I kill myself? If I'm going to suffer forever over this.. Should I?
>>17062307
no
It will get better man
just remember that
>>17062317
I just feel so bitter inside. Not toward her. But just as a generality
>>17062322
The worst thing that you could do at this moment is let this problem define your current status. I'm not saying move on the next day, week, or even month. It's alright to be hung up on something so important to you. But letting it control you like this, especially when it's this out of your control isn't healthy. Go out, do activities or focus on a hobby you have or always wanted to take up, take your mind off it. Shaking feelings for something like this isn't easy, it's a process. Don't let it take over. It's not how long it take to get over it, it's the fact that you will.
>>17062307
>or he'll likely find a girl he likes, who is physically there. Someone he can see with his own eyes and not through a screen. Someone who can actually be there for him when he's sad and needs someone.
she can't do any of that.
and yet here we are
>>17062336
I've been trying but it's hard. I've been working out a lot, but I think that's actually doing more harm than good.. It makes me feel worse
>>17062338
I'm confused?
>>17062340
Are there any hobbies or activities that you thought would be interesting to take up?
>>17062113
How did you meet this person OP?
Is there any possible way that you would get to meet them face to face?
>>17062348
I've been learning a new language. But it happens to be hers..
Honestly, nothing really interests me anymore. Shit, I haven't even played video games in 3.5 months. I haven't even turned on my computer in 3 weeks.
>>17062359
Met via Internet. I did meet her IRL a few months ago. We had a great 1.5 days together. At the time, it was just platonic feelings. But after I left it changed
I didn't read the others, So I don't know if this advice is going to be repeated or not. Anyway I enjoyed this girl a lot. I talked to her for 6 months, I was going to see her on her birthday, it went agenist everything I believe in relationships. I was going to see her I told her this a month in advance, and reminded her for the weeks to come, She told me she forgot. There's other details I won't go into. Anyway I don't think you should try and pursue her. Long distance relationships never work, and if they do it's fucking lucky. If you try to go after her. You'll just be hurting yourself, because you know you won't ever get to see her next to you anytime soon. Just remain friends, and try to find someone close to where you live. Trust me it's the best you can do.
>>17062366
Then do you think you would be meet again?
Do you still talk to them?
>>17062380
>will you meet her again?
well, I want to go see her this fall. for a few days at least. But I'm worried this will only make things worse for me.
>do you still talk?
Every single day
>>17062390
Holy shit nigga are you me?
Well if thats the case maybe something can work out
Do you feel as if there might be a mutual feeling of attraction?
>>17062406
There was mutual feeling for sure at one point. She even told me she likes me and she wishes that I could hold her while she sleeps at night. But that was months ago. And we haven't talked like that to each other in a long time. I think she's trying to move on. Because she used to be very flirty. But won't anymore
I getting feelings for someone who lives in my home state (CA) and I live in Dallas. met her on here
>>17062430
Maybe moving on would be the better option then as shitty as it sounds
or you could confront her about it to clear up what has happened between the two of you
Forget her. There is no love, just chemical reactions. Though in your case, it's all in your head. You don't really love this girl, those are your very own egocentrical wish fullfilment fantasies. The two of you will probably never be together, you dense fuck, so stop clutching at every straw.
>>17062472
I did confront her about it a month or so ago. I asked her why she is acting different. And he'd response was "oh, I'm just trying to keep my distance from men :)"
I don't understand what that means
>>17063266
It means "kindly fuck off, I have no intention of dating you; I'm too much of a coward to say it like that though"
Take a hint
>>17063281
Then why the fuck would she talk about how she wanted to kiss me, and for us to cuddle together while she sleeps. she even said "I like you :)" before.
Why would she tell me to fuck off??
I've kind to her, she's kind to me. We genuinely care about each other. maybe she's tried to move on. But she definitely isn't saying "fuck off"
>>17063310
You're in denial, OP.
>>17062113
If you have the money and time you can make it happen. Ask if she wants to meet up, if she does book a plane ticket for a few weeks, stay with her and have the happiest time of your life.
If you can't do that it any time in the near future it's hopeless. LDRs only work as an intermediate stage between physical contact.
>>17063427
You're telling me that she doesn't give a flying fuck about me, period?
>>17063461
Pretty much. Then again, this is someone you don't even know.
>>17063463
I do know her. We've consistently talked every single day for the past 8 months. We had a wonderful time together when we met IRL too. We know each other.
Also, if she doesn't care about me at all. Then why did I wake up with a text message from her saying
"Goooood morning!! :D I know it's very early there, but I've already started my day and just wanted to say hi! I hope you are resting well, text me later. I send you a hug! :)"
>>17062113
Ask her out?
I mean we're all just speculating and seeing your side of the story. Maybe we should focus on her side now.
If she answers 'no', you can move on.
inb4
>LDR won't work
>>17063517
..sigh..
I've done that. She said she wants to stay single for a while. She has a lot she wants to accomplish and doesn't want to be tied down. Which I respect. Some time after that conversation. We went into this like 2 month flirt mode. where she was always talking to me about cuddling, kissing and just being with me. we even sexted a bit too. then she went through a rough patch, and since then we haven't really flirted anymore. The flirting stopped. So I asked, and she said this >>17063266
she also said humans are like waves. Everyone has their ups and downs. and end this picture. I didn't really understand what she meant by that though.
We still talk everyday, although less than we used to. I know the others in this thread saying she doesn't care about me are full of shit. Because I know she does care. I just don't know if she's still "interested" in me or not anymore.
>>17063588
>Because I know she does care.
You're being delusional. I have to agree with the anon above.
And this >>17063266 is where you should questioned your own thoughts of her, because what I'm seeing here is just you obsessing over her.
And about that 'wave' analogy, if you believe that the wave would ever go up again, then stick with her. If not, it's probably best to end it. Women who gave analogy like that is like watching French movies. It's all nice and warm and very real at first, but in the end it's a bad ending where everybody walks out with scars or end up dead.
>>17063629
>And about that 'wave' analogy, if you believe that the wave would ever go up again, then stick with her. If not, it's probably best to end it. Women who gave analogy like that is like watching French movies. It's all nice and warm and very real at first, but in the end it's a bad ending where everybody walks out with scars or end up dead
That makes me very sad
>>17062113
Bumping this thread. I have the same exact issue as OP. Only difference is she loves me and both of us feel the same. We've been doing the online relationship meme for 6 or so months now. She's actually planning on coming here and moving in with me. So things actually may become a reality.....
Imagine someone moving across the world for you...you'd think it feels great and it does, but it's also a HUGE commitment...
Idk, I'm still a young guy. It's becoming more and more of a reality each day and I'm honestly scared.
>>17064784
OP here
Congratulations man. I hope that works out for you
>>17064784
btw, hi /cultural Pal/
>>17062113
Okay, from previous experience I can tell you what's the deal.
It's not such a biggie if you fall for someone far away. The issue is if they actually reciprocate and willing to go the long way. In the rare case this actually happens then fucking go for it. More likely than not they will reject you exactly because of the distance, but if they don't, there's nothing wrong with it.
Go for it!
>>17062113
OP I know these feels. I went away for college, about 3 states west. I fell in love with my best friend and she reciprocated. We went on a date when I was back home for a short break and we both came to the realization that we needed to be more than friends. Even though I was in an emotional state I had to be the logical one for her sake. She is garbage at long distance relationships and I absolutely hate them as well. I knew deep down it would never work because she wont move away from her family and I already have a job lined up after graduation in the state I currently study in.
Moral of the story is that these relationships only work temporarily, then when its over you've just lost someone who you consider your friend. As much as I'd love to tell you to follow your heart, I can't. Don't be stupid or let your emotions cloud your judgement. That's what women do and well you can see how much it fucks over everyone else.
You will find someone just like her, but close enough that you can touch her whenever you want. Trust me its worth the wait.
>>17065396
>You will find someone just like her, but close enough that you can touch her whenever you want. Trust me its worth the wait
I'm not saying you are lying. But I do not believe that.
>>17065269
but im scared of disapointment irl and I havent dealt with commitment before.
>>17065779
Make sure it's what you really want
>>17062113
Why are you asking ppl for advice if you don't want to listen to what anyone says?
