I was debating whether to post this on Reddit or here, and I chose here, because I feel like I'd be getting less sugar-coated bullshit answers. I don't think my boyfriend is gay. He's a hikkikomori and not a porn addict. He hardly masturbated before he met me. You know how people say all guys only care about sex? Or that guys always think about sex? Well he doesn't. It's not with me, it's not with other girls, and it's not with anyone/thing else. He's just not a sexual person. I know he loves me. I know he's attracted to me. But he doesn't have the need or want to have sex with me. And I don't want to spend every fucking day I'm with him wondering if we are going to have sex. I don't think I'm a sex addict by any means but he keeps calling me that and it pisses me off. I think that it's normal to want to have sex with my partner, and he should be pretty fucking happy or feel pretty fucking lucky considering the amount of guys whose girls' DON'T put out.
Ideally, I would love to have sex with him every night. I understand that that is something that would never happen. I can't just masturbate to satisfy myself because sex to me is mostly emotional rather than physical, if that makes sense. I don't want to have sex to feel pleasure, because if I did, then yes I would just masturbate.
So this has led to him being less affectionate, because I let him know that if he starts rubbing me (my legs, crotch, chest) then it will get me turned on and I will EXPECT to have intercourse following that, otherwise he is just teasing/leading me on, and that doesn't feel very nice.
So what do you guys think? Am I in the wrong here or is there something mentally wrong with him for not wanting to have sex with me?
We plan on getting married and a lot of our problems and me crying end up because of lack of intimacy. He can hug/kiss/cuddle with me but just does not want anything sexual because he doesn't "need" it or feel the "want" for it.
Thanks for reading.
this is good bait
there are people here who will bite this bait, and therefore it is successful bait
Small dik
>>17056093
I should also add that physically, I have a considerably nice, thin body. Wearing lingerie does nothing for him, he just wants to "appreciate" how nice I look rather than him want to have sex with me. He just doesn't allow himself to get turned on, and if I start to stroke his penis while we're cuddling in bed, he tells me to stop. He says it's physically stimulating and it feels really good but he doesn't "WANT" to have intercourse with me. In the past he's apparently been forcing himself to have sex with me sometimes and would even say that I've "raped" him a few times. That REALLY fucking hurts me. I don't want to associate sex with love, because I know that he fucking loves me, but it would just make me so happy if he would want to have intercourse with me more often.
if he's really not a porn addict then he probably has low testosterone.
also is he on antidepressants?
>>17056094
I'm being absolutely serious.
>>17056095
He doesn't have a small dick. I would say he has an average or above dick and he doesn't have any erectile problems.
>>17056097
He's not on any medication that would affect his sex drive. He's always been this way (not wanting to masturbate, controlling himself, etc). We've been to a doctor about erectile problems (that was mostly a mental thing because now he can get hard no problem but he just doesn't want to have sex with me). Testoterone is normal.
>>17056093
Some people just are like that, what makes you think he'll change?
>>17056098
you're not going to find much help on r9k, most of the people here have the exact opposite problem that you do, can't get enough sex and/or have erectile problems due to porn addiction
>>17056100
>>17056099
Please, I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I plan on posting this to Reddit under their sex sub-forum as well. I don't want to break up with him. I never thought ever in my life I would be the one to complain about sex. I have NEVER cared about sex before, and I was one of those feminazis who hated most guys because I've had so many experiences with guys who just pretended to like me in order to have sex with me. I never had sex with anyone else because I can't stand the thought of "casual" sex, that just sickens me, but it's because I don't think of sex as for physical pleasure. Yes it feels good, but it's more about the closeness with him than anything.
>>17056093
Hi Hillary
>>17056096
tfw no girlfriend who is just eyecandy :(
Tell him you need a good dickin every so often and if you don't get it you shouldn't get married
>>17056093
>he should be pretty fucking happy or feel pretty fucking lucky
FUCK OFF ENTITLED ROASTIE
tl;dr
maybe because you ugly a shit?
Do you really need him to have sex with you?
Some people just don't want it mang.
>>17056103
I'd love to be "eyecandy" for him but he doesn't see it that way.
>>17056104
Well, he will have sex with me, eventually. I just have to fucking wait for it and that kills me. I hate having to wait for HIS fucking wants but I guess I somehow need to stop wanting to make love with him.
>>17056105
I didn't mean to come off as entitlted, but I've been on this board before and have seen the amount of guys who would love to have intercourse with anyone/thing.
>>17056106
Trust me, I am quite the opposite.
>>17056107
I don't NEED to do that with him. I WANT it. And I just feel like he should want it to.
>>17056093
Definitely don't marry this dude. Sex is a big deal and over time you will probably start to resent him for it (sounds like you do already). This is not a problem that will go away, it will only fester and get worse.
>>17056108
Is he aware of this struggle of yours?
Have you made it perfectly clear?
performance or social anxiety perhaps
>>17056093
talk to him about it, otherwise either accept you two have different libido levels, or break it off
sex every day? you definitely have a higher libido than the average girl
>>17056096
I think you should reevaluate your relationship because you don't seem to realise that having sex with him against his will is rape. Basically you are telling us you want to rape him, and have done so in the past.
I would advise him to get away from you as quickly as possible.
Consider these two things.
(Didn't read the other posts here)
1.
Hikkomori's are often very depressed people, depression kills sex drive. Maybe if he wasn't so depressed he would be more affectionate with you....
2.
Maybe he's just asexual or really does have a sex drive not compatible with yours. You say you suspect him of being gay but, then don't really give any evidence for that.
To me it sounds like you're just not compatible and I was a hikikomori and even I thought I didn't deserve a gf...
I'll bite the bait and give a suggestion.
Masturbate.
You can still have your close contact but if you get horny and he's not up to it, then have a fap. Maybe he'll even watch you and get into it.
Either way, just up your masturbation and deal with it.
>>17056093
Up to 3% of the population is asexual. I can imagine making a big deal/harassing him will make the situation worse. Don't put pressure on him imo.
There are more important aspects of a relationship surely? If he fills all the other boxes as in he's being emotionally supportive, you guys have a good friendship and base level of trust and end up having less sex well... sometimes you don't get everything you want and a serious commitment to a person is compromise and means "I'll love you no matter what" not, "I'll leave if you don't perform like a human dildo on demand".
Sex is inportant, don't marry him if you can't work this out.
It might seem like it isn't, but sex is a primal urge that needs to be satisfied.
Maybe he knows sex will never be as great as he pictures it in his mind and would rather keep it as fantasy. Like me. I have a gf.
>>17056094
Nah, these guys exists. My sister's boyfriend is exactly like this and it upsets her but he's the nicest guy I've ever met and I have to remind her that he doesn't owe her his body the same way women don't owe you theirs. If she has a problem with how often or not they have sex, just break up. He can find someone with a similar sex drive and continue to lead a healthy lifestyle and relationship. Some people are just built differently.
>>17056093
I can only tell you about my own experience here.
In the past I was a little chubby, or at least not /fit/, and felt a little embarrassed about having my shirt off. At that time in my life, I got stressed out about having sex with my girlfriend because I didn't feel good about *myself*. So I avoided it. And made up excuses about why I was avoiding it (no man wants to admit he's a nervous little bitch).
After I got /fit/, this problem went away completely. For me that's all it was. Your boyfriend might have a totally different problem, but that was my experience.
>>17056109
I love him and I can't break up with him. I used to be the one to always say that sex wasn't important, etc. It's because I hadn't found the right guy to share that with instead of feeling like he may be using me to have sex and then break up with me afterwards like so many guys do. How can I just want him to want me? This really hurts and I don't know why Im allowing this to hurt me... I don't know how to get over my wanting my boyfriend to be more intimate with me.
I just want him to want me :(
>>17056110
I don't know what you mean by struggle? I just wish he was more like a "normal" guy who wanted to have sex with me more often, wanting to pleasure me more often, etc...
>>17056111
He has no performance issues. No mental issues either (I have social anxiety disorder).
>>17056112
It's because of him that I feel that way. Before him, I never cared about sex or masturbating. It's not something I ever cared about. I just want to share that with him.
>>17056113
I don't want to rape him. By "rape" I think he means when he shows me he clearly doesn't want to have sex with me but allows me to anyways (cowgirl), so any time I do cowgirl on him I am raping him by his standards.
>>17056114
He is not depressed at all! He has no mental issues! I know what depression is like. I said that he's NOT gay.
>>17056115
Masturbation does nothing for me because I need to feel that closeness with him. It's not physical stimulation that I want. Even masturbating is hard for me to finish because I need to feel that emotional part. I need to have him cuddle/kiss/hold me when I masturbate and it's what I think about. I can't come just through physical stiumation. He gets annoyed that I use something other than him to pleasure myself anyways because he wants to be the one to pleasure me -- although he doesn't actually WANT to pleasure me.
Calm down there, fembot. IT'S JUST SEX :^)
I WILL PUT THIS IN CAPS SO YOU CAN READ IT AND ALSO SO IT GETS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL
>DIDNT MASTURBATE BEFORE HE MET YOU
>DOESNT WANT TO HAVE SEX OFTEN
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT, WOMAN? HE ISNT SEXUALLY MATURE PERHAPS OR JUST ISNT INTO IT. SHIT I DONT MASTURBATE FOR A WEEK IF I DONT FEEL LIKE IT SO SEX? EVEN MORE OUT THE WINDOW.
Sounds like your fucked babe.
rip
>>17056121
If you feel like you can deal with not getting enough sex for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE and still remain faithful to him, then go for it. There's not much you can do but try to talk to him about how important this issue is to you.
>>17056093
Get his testosterone levels checked and ask if he's on antidepressants.
Spike his coffee with some speed if you have to. Just have some viagra on hand.
>>17056098
>not low testosterone or medication caused
Maybe you're just ugly t.bh
>>17056115
And he WON'T "get into it". He just won't. He'll get annoyed/irritated because he knows if I masturbate I'll be all primed and ready to have sex with him, which is not something he wants. I can't just masturbate, I need him.
>>17056116
Making love to him is important to me. I understand not getting everything I want but I can't help but feel bad about this. I love that he's not a typical sex-crazed guy who only thinks with his dick but I wish he'd think a bit more with his dick when it comes to pleasuring me... I can't help but just think that something is very wrong with me because he doesn't want this.
>>17056117
I don't know how the fuck to "work this out" other than just to train myself NOT to want him. maybe I should just completely ignore him and then maybe he'll want me. Maybe I should bring my attention somewhere else, find a new guy I can toy with temporarily to make him jealous and want me. What do you think?
>>17056118
Him having sex with me was the most amazing experience of his life (talking about what he;'s said to me, not how I',m saying it lol). He loves it when we do have sex. He enjoys it a lot, physically the best thing he's ever felt, something he had no idea would feel so amazing. It definitely exceeded any expectations of his. He just doesn't "want" it.
>>17056093
Tell him you want him to start cumming inside him, if he doesn't go for it that I've got no clue
>>17056128
yeah you should definitely get some dick on the side hmu
>>17056093
How often do you have sex? If it's just like once a month, dump him. I would never trust a man with that low of a sex drive who doesn't take antidepressants or have testosterone problems.
There's genuinely something fucked in his head. If you're adamant on staying with him take him to a psychologist or something.
>>17056093
Find out what his fetish is
>>17056093
>ideally I'd like to have sex with him every night
Self reported numbers among women are 2 times per week on average. Being 3.5x average isnt normal. You're a sex addict.
>girls don't put out
No that's just a teenager meme
>we plan on getting married
Just how old are you? I'm sorry to say this anon but you're either dumb or young.
>he doesn't need or want sex
Some people are like that.
Can't you masturbate while he cuddles you?
>>17056120
Totally different problem. My boyfriend is kind of chubby but he's not insecure about it. I LOVE his body, and he knows that I absolutely love his body. He's not embarrassed or insecure or anything because I',m the onlyperson who will ever be seeing him shirtless.
>>17056126
His testosterone is not low and he's not taking any medication.
>>17056127
I'm not.
>>17056123
I'm happy he's not sex-crazed. I really am. But I want him to be, just with me...
>>17056125
Sex to me is emotional, not physical, so not being faithful would NEVER happen, because I only want him.
Oh this IS a troll! I get it now. This poster is just going to reject every answer given. That is the heart of this troll. Decent troll.
Doesn't sound like a 'fixable' problem.
>>17056101
and somehow you found the one guy that cares less for sex than you.
Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
You can't change his nature and you won't leave him. You'll have to learn to appreciate what you have, anon. And anyone telling you otherwise is just whispering sweet, sweet lies.
Your boyfriend is a low test beta faggot, he will learn it when you find someone to satisfy your thirsty pussy. Find a high test alpha male that doesn't watch anime and play video games as the faggot of your boyfriend and get fun. I would fuck you if I could.
>>17056133
Major difference between wanting nightly sex and being a "sex addict". that's ridiculous.
>>17056134
what would happen if you approached him and started giving him a blowjob?
>>17056134
>his test levels aren't low
Come on. You have no way of knowing that.
>>17056135
This
It'd be nice of op at least pretended better.
Gotta to reddit with this. Post results in thread. I bet they will eat it up.
>>17056138
I know her irl. Trust me, you really wouldn't.
>>17056128
Since you've been responding so diligently, I was starting to think this wasn't even b8. However,
>...find a new guy I can toy with temporarily to make him jealous and want me
Brought my doubts back up again. If you do this, you are scum of the earth and you are fulfilling the reason why /r9k/ hates women so much. If you actually love him, that thought wouldn't even have crossed your mind. Because you're frustrated that you aren't getting dicked every day, you would probably end up fucking the "new guy" and that would destroy the relationship you have with the man you "love very much". I've broken up with girls just for flirting with other guys; some dudes consider that cheating.
2/10 made me respond
>>17056139
>wanting nightly sex
Yeah that's not normal outside of teens/newlyweds/fresh relationships.
>>17056137
This. The brain is a strange machine. Don't believe for a second that it's impossible to be asexual.
>>17056094
>I'm triggered so it's bait
Such a thot
>>17056093
>he should be pretty fucking happy or feel pretty fucking lucky considering the amount of guys whose girls' DON'T put out
Lmao, is this bitch serious?
Run along back to r4ddit before I start sperging
>>17056093
>>17056096
>>17056098
>>17056101
>>17056108
desu op it sounds like you should just go for the bbc
seriously is an open relationship something you might be into?
OP, are you ironic Halloween gamrrrr grrrrl?
You sound way to horny.
You have been used up by other chads and become a ROASTIE
He does not want your used up flaps.
>>17056149
Right on the dot
Based bro probably picked her to shut his parents up and to not get kicked out of theaters for NSP.
Now this used up roastie cumrag expects constant sex, and brofriend is going vegan
>>17056129
He already does cum inside me. We don't use condoms.
>>17056130
I'm not wanting to be unfaithful. I could never cheat on him or have sex with anyone else because I need that emotional aspect.
>>17056131
I don't know how to answer how often we are currently have sex. I'd rather not look at it as a timeline anyways. We've been having sex a few times a week but apparnetly because he's been forcing himself to have sex with me. I did not know this until a few days ago. Since then, we haven't had sex. It makes me feel horrible that he would force himself to have sex with me. He enjoys sex but just doesn't want it. i just can't understand this.
Yeah I feel like something is fucked in his head.
The last thing I want to say is that he's not a "real" guy but honestly I'm just feeling more and more like shit because of wanting to be intimate with him.
>>17056132
He has no fetishes. He's not sexual! He doesn't want to get turned on. If I put on lingerie, he's not going to have sex with me.
>>17056133
Not a sex addict LOL. I don't crave sex. I don't want sex. I only want to be intimate with him. Average amount of sex 2 times per week still sounds decent, given that I only see him on those 2 times (I usually see him just about everyday).
I'm younger than him. He's in his 30's.
I can masturbate while he cuddles me, but he doesn't like that. He doesn't like me masturbating because I NEED to feel that emotional aspect in order to feel good and finish. I need to feel like he wants me, and usually that's not the case.
>>17056137
So I should just train myself to not want to be intimate with him?
>>17056139
I've given him blowjobs before. He doesn't really appreciate it. He says it physically feels good but it won't make him turned on or want me. He'll get hard, but that's it. He first asks me "what are you doing" and then tells me to stop because he doesn't want to have sex with me afterwards. Thanks for your nice reply.
Damn, u wrote a fucking entire article for this bait thread.
the things he said are the same things a gay guy I know said to his girlfriend before he came out of the closet
>>17056119
>talking to your sister about her sex life
>>white """""" people""""""
Best of luck OP. You sound like a great girl to have as a gf. Seriously consider going to a psychologist and don't give up on your relationship in any case. Chances are high he will grow out of this phase as well as long as he is not apathatic.
>>17056128
>Making love to him
>>to him
Yeah, that's rape.
It should be "with him"
I've reported this thread to the authorities
>>17056142
I would never cheat on him. I know that my boyfriend is happy to have me, and I know that he appreciates me, and I know that he feels lucky to have me. He knows how often I get hit on when I'm out, and he's seen it happen before when we're out and he goes to a bathroom and I'm alone and have guys approach me. The idea of toying with someone, I'm not sure how that would make me feel. I think ultimately it would just make me feel sad because I'll be thinking that "wow this guy actually likes me, and while my boyfriend likes me, I just want to be more intimate with him." If I were to cheat on my boyfriend, it would be emotional cheating only (think long-distance relationships). In the past, I haven't been able to be "physical" with my "real life" boyfriends either. Basic things like hugging/kissing I had issues with. I've never felt comfortable like I have with my boyfriend now. And that's why I allowed us to have intercourse, because I feel something I can't describe with him. I know HE would never leave me, and he's probably worried that I will one day leave/cheat on him (he doesn't like me being hit on all the time). So I think it would hurt ME too much to toy with another guy (online), when i think of the execution of actually doing so.
>>17056151
There's obviously no solution.
The guy is asexual.
Learn to live with it or fuck off, simple as that.
You don't get everything you want in life, stupid bitch
>>17056143
Unfortunately I haven't ever gotten that so I suppose it's not unusual in our case. He's never really "wanted" to have sex with me, I've only ever been the one to initiate it and I hate that because I feel like it should be the other way around. Before him I've never been intimate with anyone.
>>17056147
NO I do NOT want to cheat on him. I DO NOT want to have sex with anyone else, JUST HIM.
>>17056155
Thanks for the nice reply.
>>17056156
LOL
I use with and to interchangeably. When it's just us we never say sex or fuck, we call it "making love" just to dissociate sex (which sounds way more casual) with "making love" (sounds more intimate/emotional). You wouldn't call a one-night stand "making love".
>>17056093
>>>/adv/ you fucking cunt
>>17056151
You really must be fucking stupid or this is bait.
You were a feminazi before and hated guys who thought about sex. Once youre together with an asexual (gay?) guy you miss sex and "rape" him? If you were a guy you would go into jail for a long time.
Bitch please.
Did you ask him what he likes sexually?
a sex life is one of the biggest features for a successful marriage if he can't put out now it's only going to get worse later on.
>>17056159
"Making love" sounds really fucking gay.
I was fapping and lost my boner after reading "making love".
Now imagine some fat, ugly, pasty white girl that has had dozens of dicks in her complaining about how we " never make love"
Lmao, you're fucking disgusting.
You're gonna get dumped, hopefully killed
>>17056161
What he likes sexually doesn't matter because he doesn't want it. Yes, he enjoys having sex with me. He loves how good it makes him feel. He loves when I suck him off. HE JUST DOESNT FUCKING WANT IT.
>>17056162
That's how I feel...
>>17056163
That's exactly why I didn't want to write "making love" because I feel that an imature amount of people think it's gay as fuck to use that term.
>>17056093
Don't get married. There's no shame in having sexual needs or desires in a relationship. Not having those met is a perfectly reasonable reason to end a relationship. Think about everything that's centered around sex in our society - sex is important. There are other options though, you could get your sexual needs filled outside of the relationship. Talk to him, maybe you can work out some kind of semi-open relationship. A situation where you could seek sex elsewhere, but don't tell him about it. Just DON'T SETTLE FOR A SEXLESS MARRIGE.
>>17056166
It's not immature, it's just really fucking gay.
That's like me saying I'm off to the function to court some young maidens.
Literally the female fedora.
Hope you get raped with a branding iron ;3
>>28000518
>op said the guy was 30
>'gunna get married'
>overly sexually active
>pic
Yep. Op is 12.
>>17056167
I don't want an open relationship I just want him. i just want to feel him, no one else.
>>17056135
Have you never talked to a female? This is exactly how they think and behave.
>>17056093
Maybe he has POIS (post orgasmic illness syndrome)
>POIS symptoms, which are called a "POIS attack",[s 4] can include some combination of the following: severe muscle pain throughout the body, severe fatigue, mild to severe headache,[3] weakness, and flu-like or allergy-like symptoms,[4] such as sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal irritation.[s 2][s 3] Additional symptoms include cognitive dysfunction,[5] intense discomfort, irritability, anxiety, craving for relief, susceptibility to nervous system stresses (e.g. common cold), depressed mood, and difficulty communicating, remembering words, reading and retaining information, concentrating, and socializing.[6][s 2]
He does look at porn and he does masturbate. Even once a week is enough to turn off a guy's sexual drive.
>>17056196
yms?
>>17056093
Is your name Quinn because you sound like a psychopath I know with the name Quinn
>all deleted
You guys are pussies.
>>17056199
Coolcat loves to oogieboogie!
>>17056202
i approve anon
original
>>17056201
they got banned you fucking sped
>>17056176
Well, then you're fucked (in one exclusive sense of the word). He's probably asexual (which is normal), and you want to sex him. You two are incompatible. Whatever way you go at least one of you will be unhappy. Either you rip the band-aid off and dump him, or, if you can do it and be 75% happy, you try having an open relationship. It suck right now, but do you want to live your life without sex? Do you want him to pity-fuck you for the rest of your days? It's not easy to hear, but there's no quick fix. There is no easy solution.
I feel you so much, girl. My soon-to-be-ex husband was exactly like this! We used to have awesome sex but he denied it to me if I didn't do everything else he wanted. Eventually he just cut me off.
>>17056101
The way I see it, you either need to find some other way to gain intimacy with him, or break up with him.
Maybe you should ask him how he finds intimacy with the people he cares about.
I would recommend trying to convince him into some sort of compromise as a third alternative, but it doesn't look like he's budging.
>>17056108
>Trust me
>no proof
>on 4chan
"No"
how the fuck can anyone give you advice if we dont know what your bf has to deal with, post pics :))
>>17056222
Jesus Christ.
/adv/ literally is r3ddit
Fuck this place
>>17056205
I can't have sex with anyone else besides him. I can't be physical/intimate/sexual with anyone else. I definitely do not want to cheat on him and I won't, because I come from a background of no physical or sexual affection. I never cared for it until him. I could never have an "open" relationship that is just disgusting to me. It's not just sex, it's being intimate that I want/need.
>>17056222
I'm sorry to hear that :(
>>17056237
Eh he doesn't really have friends. He's pretty introverted and doesn't really spend time with anyone else. I don't know what kind of compromise you're referring to. I asked him just a few moments ago if he'd be okay with just pleasuring me (oral or with a toy) to get me off but if he's not emotionally into it then it'll do nothing for me. I can't finish with just physical stimulation, because most of anything intimate we do is mostly an emotional experience for me, not physical.
You can actually see where the moderator moved this out of /r9k/ and into /adv/
>>17056093
I think you and I have the same boyfriend. It royally sucks. And I feel the same as you. I don't NEED it. I WANT to have sex with HIM.
That guy isn't obligated to sleep with you at any moment, if you can't deal with his non-existent sex-drive then leave him, if you can then stay with him. People have different sex drives and he doesn't owe you his body. Deal with it.
And stop raping him you freak.
>>17056151
>He already does cum inside me.
He's prob not fucking you because you're baby crazy holy shit
>>17056342
Would you mind like E-mailing me or something so I can talk to you about this? I really don't have anyone to talk to who can relate to this, because it's usually the other way around. throwawaymail2016 (at) gmail if you're interested in talking. I would fucking love to talk to someone about this who can relate.
>>17056093
Get another boyfriend.
Right now, a lack of sex means you're just glorified friends.
>>17056289
>I can't have sex with anyone else besides him.
Jesus Christ, the more I read your replies, the cringier it gets. You're completely delusional to be thinking that this guy is the only person you can have sex with. You CAN have a sexual relationship with someone else, you're just refusing to accept reality that your boyfriend won't fuck you and it's time to move on. You're just so desperate for that affection from him that you're not even considering that you should give up.
>>17056355
I emailed you
I had this with my ex, OP.
>ex
It's the only way to go. In the seven years we were together, I never once felt attractive because he had no desire to fuck me. I tried speaking to him about it, I tried coming onto him, I tried teasing him, but he was just never bothered.
I have since met somebody who I am completely on the same level as sexually and it is the greatest feeling I've ever had.
Although our relationship was fine in most other areas, the lack of intimacy between us was just too big of an issue which eventually led to the relationship breaking down. The only thing I could possibly suggest is some kind of couples therapy.
I really hope you work it out anon.
>>17056289
Is there any sort of way for you to be intimate with him that doesn't require sex?
>>17056380
Hi! Email is throwawaymail2016 at gmail dot com ; I didn't get an Email
>>17056390
If you wouldn't mind Emailing me on a throwaway and talking to me about your ex I'd be appreciative but understand if you don't want to. I've never been to this forum before so I don't know what's appropriate and what's not. I just know that on the other forum I've been getting a lot of trolls and child porn posted. I can't bear to break up with him over this issue. I feel like this is such an insignificant issue. i know that he thinks I'm attractive but at the same time it's so hard for me to feel that way because I just feel like he doesn't appreciate me as much as I'd like; and it makes me sick knowing that there are so many pervs out there who hit on me and shit and my boyfriend gets jealous but doesn't really do shit about it or shows me how much he wants me.
>>17056393
Everything beyond hugging, kissing (not making out, just small kisses like pecks) and cuddling or spooning is just about it. Don't get me wrong, I love doing those small things. But that's stuff we could do in public so I don't really consider that as being "intimidate". I just want to feel him. Fuck it's like I've been spending my time earlier today reading romantic/erotic novels (not so much the sex part, just the romantic lovey dovey portion of it) and it's just making me sad thinking, wishing, "I wish my boyfriend was more like that." I feel so horrible for doing this to myself.
>>17056429
Maybe you should arrange to sit down and have intimate talks with him, really dig down emotionally speaking. There's probably a reason he's not comfortable with sex, and maybe talking to him will provide the intimacy you're looking for.
>>17056421
Email sent :)
>>17056449
It's not that he's not comfortable. He just doesn't want it. We've talked about this. It's just a "feeling" he has and he has no wants or needs to have sex with me. He told me that he does want to WANT to have sex with me, but he just doesn't feel that way, so until he does, I guess I'm on standby until he decides that for whatever fucking reason I'm good enough for him to give affection to.
>>17056093
you need to find someone that you are sexually compatible with. your current bf is obviously not on the same page as you. the sooner you break it off, the better, for both of you. i have been in this situation many times, and none of those partners made any changes when given the opportunity to do so. theres nothing wrong with not wanting as much sex as your partner, but it does mean that you need a new partner.
