am i a bad person?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
for sleeping with married people?
>>17054642
yes, you are a bad person
Not necessarily. It's enabling someone to deceit or manipulate someone else that's bad. If you sleep with a married person and nobody is being lied to then no biggie.
Depends... were they awake?
>>17054661
i feel validated by sleeping with married men. and can't find an actual bf for myself. it's really pretty sad.
>>17054670
Could be worse. I know a woman with 5 kids, from like 3 different fathers that is currently sleeping with a married man and she goes to church.
>>17054682
yeah i'm glad i'm not her, at least. still wish i could find a bf but that's impossible i guess.
>>17054688
Of course it's impossible whenever you're sleeping with another woman's man. That's awful. You're obviously not the only one at fault, but you need to stop. Grow and become a better person than that man will ever begin to fathom.
>>17054670
lol that is pretty sad... are you not pretty?
>>17054688
That one lady once told us that one of the reasons she did that was because she DOESN'T want to get into a relationship with a guy that would live with her and move in with her. Her history shows that it always turns up bad. This was true, Her sleeping with a married guy certainly did relieve her of the kind of bums she would be with at home.
>>17054642
They're going to cheat regardless, you aren't responsible for their marriage.
If they are cheating, they're already unhappy and there isn't anything you can do about it.
>>17054696
better person than someone can begin to fathom? really don't get what you're saying here.
>>17054697
sometimes i'm pretty, and sometimes i'm not. seems to depend a lot on lighting and what i'm wearing and how i do my hair. kinda weird.
maybe that simply means i am not pretty, i guess.
>>17054703
i think i'm the bum. blah. like i work and do school but i'm still lazy and it's hard to clean and do things. sometimes i think a lot about suicide.
>>17054707
yeah that's kinda how i like to think about it.
>>17054707
>They're going to cheat regardless
Not necessarily. There are guys that would cheat but don't have the opportunity they would like. Some guys think about it, want it and would like to experiment in it but just don't because the opportunity isn't there. Sure they could go buy some prostitutes but that might not be what they're looking for.
Bottom line is you can't say with certainty they they WILL cheat. You could say they are unhappy in their marriage, or would like to chat but if they have no opportunity to do it then they won't.
>>17054714
You're stooping to his level, and it's disgusting. What would possess you to do something like this? I feel bad for his wife. You should tell her so she doesn't have to deal with his cheating ass anymore.
>>17054722
>Bottom line is you can't say with certainty they they WILL cheat. You could say they are unhappy in their marriage, or would like to chat but if they have no opportunity to do it then they won't.
I agree with you. Those that cheat are unhappy, but not everyone unhappy can cheat.
I was more saying if they're cheating with OP, they're going to cheat with someone else if OP refuses on moral grounds.
>>17054771
it's better than sleeping alone. i'm alone a lot.
>>17054785
Seriously, you're wrong. There's plenty of better alternatives to sleeping with a married man and they don't involve sleeping alone. You would be better off finding a single guy or even just a friend that would let you use his dick. Or masterbating. If you're looking for sex he's the wrong guy and if you're looking for companionship he's also the wrong guy.
>>17054785
Is it better than sleeping alone, really? I'm sure you stop and look at yourself after each day and feel disgusted at yourself. I know I would. But really, this >>17054793
>>17054793
i'm wrong about what, exactly? men don't seem to like me usually. but married men are a lot easier to get with, i think because they're bored of their wives and are looking for something different and fun.
>>17054802
i definitely have some issues with self-esteem and the like, but wouldn't go so far as to say i feel disgusted at myself.
>>17054814
You don't feel bad for sleeping with someone's husband?
>>17054814
>men don't seem to like me usually
This guy likes you? even if it's because you're an easy lay, are you certain single people wouldn't get with you if you were an easy lay?.
I think you're wrong about choosing a married guy. First all seriously in real life people get murdered over shit like that, (scorned wives) going apeshit. You're playing with fire. If the guy is lying to his wife that also says he would probably lie to you. I would normally say the only benefit might be that this guy only has one other lover so that might lower your chances of getting an STD but if might very well be fucking the entire town behind your back as well as his wife's.
You may ruin this persons family/love life permantly, but thats only if you are found out.
Nothing is evil or good morals only exist in your mind fed to you by society.
None the less tread lightly as you may ruin a family/lovelife with your afair.
athough you are not cheating they are.
>>17054707
No scumbag, you don't get to enable immoral behavior.
OP you're a homewrecking whore.
>>17054814
Why don't you just find a guy that's available for YOU?
I mean, why do you pick unavailable men?
>>17054836
>No scumbag, you don't get to enable immoral behavior.
Go fuck yourself. It's not immoral, why don't you stand on the mountaintop and go "tsk tsk" as loud as you can like a fucking moron.
People are going to cheat regardless of what you or I think, idiot. We magically shame her into never sleeping with married men, then what? What about the millions of women just like her that aren't on this board? Fucking idiot.
Cheaters are unhappy in their relationship. She isn't making them cheat.
The point is to pick relationships better so neither party doesn't want to cheat.
>>17054821
not really. mostly i worry that someone will find out and they'll think i'm a bad person. if no one ever knows though i won't feel bad at all.
>>17054827
i've literally never had a boyfriend, and not for lack of trying. but yeah this guy likes me, at least enough to fuck me semi-regularly. doubt we'll ever get caught. his wife doesn't even deserve him, and she's too self-absorbed to notice the signs even if they're obvious (they're not). he better not give me an std though.
>>17054835
and here's the root of my question. sometimes i really WANT his family to be broken and to feel responsible for it. if it actually happened i'd probably feel badly desu, but it's an exciting thought really. does this make me a bad person?
>>17054840
so far guys haven't been available to me. except these few rare exceptions who happen to have wives. i'll never understand how people find significant others without any trouble. if i could, i probably would.
>>17054851
>It's not immoral
Marriage is an accepted standard of morality, as shown by religion, government, and society.
Sleeping with someone else other than your married partner is not in accordance with the vows taken during a typical "marriage".
just sayin'...
>>17054854
>so far guys haven't been available to me. except these few rare exceptions who happen to have wives. i'll never understand how people find significant others without any trouble. if i could, i probably would.
That's fucking bullshit. You can't find ANY man that isn't married? Come on, that's stupid.
>>17054851
You really are a shitty piece of human garbage. "But someone else would be a piece of shit slut!" is not valid moral reasoning. It is called enabling, this is pretty basic stuff. How can you unironically be this fucking stupid?
>>17054854
>at least enough to fuck me semi-regularly.
That doesn't say much about him liking you. Any married guy would happily put their dick inside a different girl than his wife because his sex life is so shit he actually appreciates it.
I hope you know that married guys are known for spinning the stories in their favor by making themselves look like the victim.
>>17054870
>Marriage is an accepted standard of morality, as shown by religion, government, and society.
>Sleeping with someone else other than your married partner is not in accordance with the vows taken during a typical "marriage".
It has nothing to do with morality. What kind of ancient thinking is this?
People get married all the time that shouldn't be married; people get married for money, for a PR stunt (thanks, Kim), because they were drunk, because they want citizenship, because they were forced by their family, because they don't want to be alone, etc.
You're a fucking idiot if you think marriage is some kind of lofty moral concept. It's not, it's just 2 people that filled out some shit at the County courthouse, that are connected (or were connected) in some way.
That's it.
>>17054871
why is it so hard for you to accept? relationships don't just happen for everyone. never have for me, anyway. maybe you have no trouble finding BFs but we're not all so lucky....
>>17054879
well he seems to like me. the best part is when he holds me after and we talk quietly or don't say anything.
>>17054880
You sound like a dumbfuck desu.
>>17054874
Again, go fuck yourself. You're talking about moral reasoning, you just have no fucking clue what a marriage is or what's involved.
People change, people make bad decisions, people grow apart. People are unhappy in relationships. What the fuck are you going to say to all of them?
"Well, just leave". What if they have small kids? What if they can't afford a divorce? What if they live in a small community and they have no options?
See, you're a fucking moron who has no concept of the real world.
People are going to cheat, regardless. Why? Because most people are in unhappy relationships. That's how it has always been, and that's how it will always be.
There is no enabling of anything, cheaters are unhappy and there isn't shit you can do about it.
Except grow the fuck up.
>>17054670
This sounds like you have underlying mental issues to be honest. You're not alone, and you can get help of you want it.
>>17054883
>well he seems to like me. the best part is when he holds me after and we talk quietly or don't say anything.
That's how you act when you're not married to someone yet. If he were to get to marry you he'd get bored of you really quick and you'd think the next married guy you screw is you're white knight.
Whatever guys you've been hanging out with connived you that there is nobody left worth getting with.
>>17054883
>why is it so hard for you to accept? relationships don't just happen for everyone. never have for me, anyway. maybe you have no trouble finding BFs but we're not all so lucky...
This sounds like bullshit cop out. "I just can't find a single guy so I have to date married men". That's just fucking absolute bullshit.
>>17054884
Yeah, another fucking moron who thinks some idiot ideal of what marriage is.
You're a child.
>>17054889
Nice incoherent butthurt rambling that addresses nothing at all and makes no logically valid arguments.
"wahhhh unhappy people cheat therefor it's okay look I'm angry on the internet REEEE"
Just how stupid are you, really?
>>17054901
Anybody that is married or has been married (like myself) know exactly what I'm talking about.
You're confused because you have no fucking clue how the world works, or relationships.
People get married (usually) with the best of intentions; shit just doesn't work out like that, a good % of the time.
You're a young idiot, so you can't really understand anything I'm saying.
That's ok. Hopefully you'll grow and learn, not everything is so black and white: cheating=bad, staying in marriage=good. These are childish concepts that mature adults don't have.
>>17054897
>how dare someone have moral standards!
Are you a literal sociopath?
>>17054670
You're a female loser. Perhaps you should take a long hard look at yourself and why no guy wants to be with you.
>>17054890
what mental issues? how do you know that i'm not alone? i feel alone.
>>17054892
so i should just keep sleeping with married men, if i want to stay happy?
>>17054895
that's how it happened. i've tried to find guys and do the "normal" relationship thing. it never works. but somehow i keep finding married men who are interested in me. this is the thrid one now. i'd still be a virgin if not for these guys. unless lesbian sex counts which i don't think it does because i'm straight.
I used to think i was....then i stopped caring....go get yours...
>>17054912
yeah, i am a loser. dunno how to fix it. probably i'll always be this way.
>>17054908
So you're a cheating sociopath trying to justify your own amorality with fedora angst. Okay, thanks for clearing that one up.
>>17054913
>so i should just keep sleeping with married men, if i want to stay happy?
After 3rd wife you helped fuck over kicked your teeth in or shoots you in the face or battery acids your face I doubt the "staying happy" won't be an option anymore or any guy wanting to fuck you for that matter.
>>17054921
Until some man's wife catches you and you get the shit beat out of you or worse.
You're on a toxic decline and you're doing nothing to stop it. You really don't know how to stop sleeping with married men? Come on. It's literally that simple...
>>17054921
>yeah, i am a loser. dunno how to fix it. probably i'll always be this way.
Come on, don't be so hard on yourself. Your post title, even the pic you posted...you clearly have reservations about what you're doing.
You probably have low self-esteem, like the attention from these men, like they are "choosing" you over their wives, but also hate the fact that they are with other women and are not really with them.
OP, you can find a regular guy to have a relationship with. You can. It's all in your head that you're a bad person. Again, you're not causing these men to cheat, they are doing it regardless.
Take a hard look at what you're doing, is that what you want to do the next 5 years? 10? 20 years of fucking married men? What kind of life is that?
YOU CAN find a regular guy to be with. You can.
You just keep being in this cycle of attention/rejection, self-esteem/powerlessness, it's not really healthy long-term.
Maybe just take a break from dating anyone for a while, just to clear your head.
TRY to find another guy that can be there FOR YOU and you FOR HIM...instead of sneaking around with these dudes.
DO it for yourself.
>>17054935
really don't think that's going to happen.
>>17054943
obviously i could stop sleeping with him. but i don't want to,
>>17054945
what makes you think i can find my own guy? it hasn't happened yet. probably never will.
anyway this thread is making me sad now. dunno why i even posted it.
>>17054967
You sound like a cunt. I want to piss on you.
>>17054967
Doesn't seem like you think too much. Someone else should really do your thinking for you.
>>17054967
This is the harsh reality of what you're going through, of course it's fucking sad.
Obviously
Short answer, yes.
Long answer, yes but only if the spouse doesn't know and consent to it. If they're in some sort of open relationship and are aware of your existence, it's fine. If you're knowingly aiding someone in cheating, though, that's a very shitty thing to do, and knowingly and repeatedly doing a very shitty thing to someone else makes you a bad person.
