Boyfriend
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
me and my boyfriend have been arguing for a couple days now, its getting really bad. when we first got together he told me he didn't tolerate weed smokers, I wasnt a chronic weed smoker so it was easy for me to stop and I haven't done it since. last night i was hanging out w some people who were smoking. I got back to my room and he wanted to see me so we can work things out. when i saw him he was yelling and got pissed because I just smelled of smoke even though i didn't smoke. he yelled that he doesn't want to be with me anymore and threw all my stuff out his room and kicked me out. hes not speaking to me at all. I've been extremely loyal to him. I just feel really bad and don't know what to do. do i stop hanging out with almost all my friends because they smoke? I feel like i have to tiptoe through this relationship because I never want to make him mad . pls help
>>17031583
what happened before last night ?
>>17031583
>said he doesn't want to be with you anymore
>put your stuff out
>kicked you out
>no contact sense then
I'm pretty sure it's over and he broke up with you.
Dude sounds crazy. Get out of there and don't look back imo. Anyone so controlling is probably not worth it.
You're flawed if you're not free :)
Well I know he broke up with me. But should I feel bad about it? I feel like I was in a really controlling relationship
>>17031583
this is the part where you realize there is no happy ending in this relationship and you bounce. sad ot say but i know from personal experience. it is depressing, it is sad, it is hard but you shouldn't have to tiptoe through life so you dont hurt someone elses feelings.
before last night he was mad because I wasn't in the mood to have sex for a while. he didn't believe that I just simply wasn't in the mood. But he apologized and said he was really wrong for that
this not the first time he's been controlling. He was mad because I posed an ''inappropriate'' picture on snapchat and it wasn't really like that. He's been mad before because I wear makeup
ask your friends to kill him.
>>17031601
>>17031603
Time for you to move on to the next controlling asshole.
>>17031601
Christ you sound like a terrible gf
This is the first controlling relationship i've been i just didn't know how to deal with it. its been hard because i've always wanted him to stay but this time i'm even pushing for him to come back. Hes always pissed, we can never stay happy, he's the one that always has to right and I can't deal w it anymore
People have boundaries, his seems to be smoking. You crossed it by meeting him smelling like a furnace. I'd have done the same. Time to move on now.
Why are you bothering to rationalize whether it was a 'good' or 'Bad relationship?
If it's over - and you acknowledge that, yeah, it's over - why put any more thought into it? If you feel bad, feel that. If you really don't feel bad then don't worry about it.
Yeah, it sounds like it was possibly controlling. But you might just be using that as an excuse not to feel regret about it ending. Either way, the only healthy thing now is to move on.
>>17031583
Your ex sounds like a mad man.
Best thing to do if find someone else that won't lost his shit when you have done nothing worng.
>>17031603
can you post such picture so people here can judge whether or not is inappropriate?
>>17031583
He told you he didn't want you smoking, you came back and smelled like smoke. He doesn't want to date a deadbeat gf who hangs around bums, why don't you date one of your stoner buddies?
>>17031644
very perceptive. I am 90% sure OP's version of events is half truth
>>17031657
>implying that was the point of my post
this was the picture. some people feel its inappropriate and others don't. I guess its just a matter or what you tolerate. this happened last summer
>>17031663
Definitely inappropriate
You ex did the right thing
>>17031663
well, if I were your bf I would be upset for this pic,
You don't want to see your gf whoring yourself on the internet.
I think the things that pissing him the most is that you think doing this kind of things while having a bf is a-OK.
yeah, he sounds kinda crazy op.
That happens all the time though.
Don't take it to heart, you did nothing wrong.
i don't know if I would call him "controlling" for being intolerant of smokers though. That's just a condition he has, and he thought you broke it so he ended the relationship.
People who are in controlling relationships are frequently more manipulated than this situation seems to be. Like your BF is very crazy but I wouldn't say he's like abusive or anything like that. He hasn't crossed any lines to make it that serious from what you've told us
Lol yeah bye bitch
>gf won't have sex with me for weeks
>posts suggestive photos on snap chat for everyone, other guys included, to see
>told her from the beginning that I do not tolerate weed smoking
>she used to smoke weed, and she comes home smelling like weed after hanging out with people who smoke
>she says she didn't do anything
>I've had enough and tell her bluntly and firmly that I don't want to see her anymore
>move her things out of my room
>don't contact her after that
>she makes a thread on /adv/ about me making me out to be a controlling bad-guy
>>17031673
whoring herself*
also, how old are you?
he didn't break up with me because of that picture. because he realized that was stupid as well. he throws around the break up card a lot
>>17031659
>implying I wasn't just using your post for my own ends
i'm 19. I don't think that picture is innapropriate. Im not showing any skin and the only people who are on my snapchat are my close friends. so i wouldn't call it ''whoring around'' i barely even post pictures of myself.
lol It wasn't weeks. I wasn't in the mood not to have it for at least 3 days. plus im on birth control so ever since i started it my libido has been down.
>>17031692
What the fuck do you want from us? To reassure you that what he did was wrong and you're in the right? That's not how relationships work.
>>17031583
what kind of faggot wont tolerate weed, gods gift to mankind
I'm not making him out to be controlling. Im asking you if you think the situation is? But most people around us thinks were just too different for eachother. hes conservative and im liberal .
>>17031663
what is the color of your skin in this photo
>>17031677
but you are a controlling bad-guy
kek at all the fags in this thread
don't feel bad girl
>>17031692
so what do you think about your own picture ? in which mood were you when you thought "ok, i'm gonna take this pic and send it to the chads I know" ?
>>17031692
it is innapropiate because you have a bf.
This can of pics are aimed towards man, women get nothing from pics like this (i guess lesbos do?),
also you are pretty much exposing your cameltoe there.
So put yourself in perspective, a girl with a bf post a suggestive picture of herself for the world to watch. The world clearly see the picture for what it is, your bf would feel you walked over him and you don't respect him.
I can see where he comes from.
>>17031680
It seems like this was just the straw that broke the camel's back then.
Listen, I wouldn't call the BF controlling- he just has specific standards that he is clear about. If you do something that he thinks violates that, he'll simply break up with you. We all have those standards. For example, one of my standards is that I don't want my man texting innapropriate things to other women. I'm not being "controlling" by limiting him in that way because I've made it clear that that's an expectation of we date. If he would rather do that, he's 100% free to- but it will be without me.
I feel like that's how your BF Feels.
I've been in a controlling relationship before- it went like this:
-~400 text messages a day (no exaggeration) asking where I was, when u would be done, when I could see him, etc
-guilting and emotional manipulation. I'd get dinner with a girl pal and he's say something like "wow, I thought you cared about me but apparently you care about HER more since you're choosing to spend your free time with her."
-extreme jealousy to the point of paranoia. I had a group project where the teacher paired me with a make student for the assignment and my boyfriend had to attend every project meeting to make sure my partner didn't try anything.
In that relationship, he NEVER mentioned breaking up. In fact, he made it seem like it wasn't an option by threatening to kill himself if I ever left him. By trapping me in the relationship and forcing me to adhere to his rules, I was being controlled
In a relationship like yours, it sound like your BF actually encouraged you to walk away if there was an issue with compatability. That's not being controlling- that's just making his expectations clear. If you don't like his expectations, you are free to walk away
no. i apologized to him and said he was 101% right and I shouldn't have seen him like that. I just don't know how to handle the situation. He was my first everything so I'm really torn and stuck. But I don't want to stop hanging around my friends i've know for 6-13 years just because my boyfriend doesn't like weed. I don't smoke but when Im with people its bound to be around me because its just a social thing to do amoungst some people.
>>17031711
>Listen little baby, you're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that aint what I'm about. You're perfect the way you are. You hear me, sugar? Perfect. You deserve everything and anything you want. Stay safe for me, baby girl.
>MFW thinking about you hurting
>>17031720
Is this dick worth breaking it off with your friends? If so your friends deserve someone better than you anyway.
>>17031720
You just have to choose your BF or your friends.
I suggest your friends, simply because you will come to resent your BF for making you choose.
Just find a guy who doesn't mind you smoking with your friends occasionally- then you can have both. A loving BF and some fun friends.
Don't settle for this guy if you are not compatible in this way
>>17031706
>But most people around us thinks were just too different for eachother. hes conservative and im liberal .
They are right. You need better partner choice and to find someone compatible next time.
>>17031720
Honestly you need better friends.
I'd guess your bf is a couple of years older than you and he realized that you aren't exactly what he wants from a partner and decided to end it.
Now if he goes no contact and you never heard a word from him again, it means that I'm right and you weren't right from each other.
If he wants you back in a couple of months/weeks, he is an asshole and you should be around him for you own good.
As you can see either way the relationship is over. Stop losing your mind over this and focus in your life, school, work, whatever. Life doesn't ends here.
>>17031720
How long have you been with your boyfriend ?
I mean the pic is definitely suggestive but this thing over smoking is quite an overreaction.
Maybe it's better for you, find someone else who accept the fact that you smoke occasionally, respect that and who will not be a little bitch about it.
and he got mad because i've been hanging out and not spending all my time with him like I used too when we first got together. but he's a math major and he has alot of hw and I get that. he has priorities first. I just don't get to see him that much, but Im not gonna wait up all night for him to finish his hw all the time even though I have before. He expects me to drop everything for him and have no social life outside of him even though he told me he didn't want me to his shadow. So I start making new friends and he gets upset. Its just confusing and frustrating sometimes.
>>17031711
>controlling bad-guy
he just wanted a normal decent gf like his friends have,
poor dude.
>>17031734
shouldn't be around him* fuck
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and he's 20.
>>17031739
he meant girl friends, not shitty stoners that would rape you first chance they got.
I was his normal decent gf. His other friends gf's are out of control. I dropped everything for him. Did everything he didn't want me to do. spent all my time with him, at one point he was my only friend. but we just don't get eachother when it comes to anything. even controversial topics
>>17031663
This pic is not suggestive and if you think it is then you have no idea what it is like to be a teenage girl.
Listen op, I'm 21 and I don't think that picture is suggestive- in fact there are specific things that make it NOT suggestive.
1) you're not showing any cleavage
2) you cannot see the shape of your body clearly because of the way your jacket is draped
3) you can't see your ass at all.
This is a typical "artsy/edgy" teen photography hi lighting your outfit, nails, and jewelry.
You're cute so of course men are going to sexualize it. I understand why you BF may have misinterpreted your intentions and gotten upset and I think it was right for you to remove it since there are probably other guys who would misinterpret it as well (like the boys on here have).
But as a woman, I know you didn't mean this in a sexual way because you would have made different choices.
these aren't stoners. these are people i've known my whole life and only smoke on occasion
>>17031739
>math major
good thing you broke up, you and your friends will only drag him down.
Mathematics requires devotion and sacrifice. I have more respect for him now.
>>17031758
you both are just young and naive.
Let it go.
Find someone else.
he's also had a problem because Im bisexual so he was insecure for a while and thought i was going to leave for a girl because in his mind you can't like both. you always like one more than the other and thats not the case. I only wanted him he's great and I would never hurt him like that
>>17031739
I was a little bit like this before, got dumped few times because I started to get paranoid about friends of my exes. Thing is, you're better without him now. He has issues that he needs to work on. You don't have to apologies because he draws limits for your everyday behavior and get mad once you're just how you are. Enjoy the company of your friends and find someone else.
>>17031765
Unless you become his obedient slave and change your nature, you're just too different, seriously.
>>17031765
>bisexual
oh boy
>>17031583
from this thread it sounds like this guy is a conventional guy that needs a conventional gf, I have no idea why he got with you in the first place. I hope he will not comeback to your life.
I think we are just too different, and I just have to let it go. He could never accept for who I was as a person and my own opinions without making him upset. Im young, I fucked up a couple times, but I was wrong for still showing up smelling like that in his face. Usually i would want him to stay but we just arent compatiable. and I think i've finally realized that and it hurts cause he was I devoted so much time to him and I just don't want to waste either of our time anymore.
he got with me because we attracted each other but after a while we just started to clash because we think two totally different ways
>>17031801
>>17031805
glad to see your opened your eyes.
Also two years is nothing.
Of course it is now because you are only 19 and was your first everything.
But with time you'll realize you are just being a silly girl.
Also if he tries to come back to you, tell him no.
>>17031583
>I feel like i have to tiptoe through this relationship because I never want to make him mad
If you don't want to feel that way, don't stay in a relationship with that guy. You two obviously aren't compatible.
