Depressed virgin.
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
25 y/o male virgin. I'm convinced it's never gonna happen at this point. Give me any reason no to blow my head off right now.
I'm 22 and am facing false rape allegations from my ex gf
It could be worse, man.
>>17029584
maybe you shouldn't hit women you fucking asshole
>>17029572
How often do you talk to women and how often do you go on dates? When you're out with a girl are you flirty and playful or reserved and formal/in interview mode? Do you play up your sexual side around women or hold back in fear of being rejected? How do you rate yourself in looks, do you still love with your folks, and do you have any major passions or interests?
>>17029590
I didn't hit her. I saw that other thread though, so maybe you think I'm that guy.
>>17029572
lost my virginity at about your age, went on to have some truly delightful sex inc threeways.
that said, other reasons include: puppies, sunshine, that next movie in that franchise you like
invest in grindr or some other internet matchup service
>>17029641
grindr's for gays isn't it?
>>17029624
Don't go out on dates because I have a hard time meeting people. I have severe anxiety/security issues that have crippled me in the romance Dept.
I'm not a 10/10, but I'm not bad looking.
I can be flirty/playful, but I'm always very reserved, and kind of shy.
I still live with my parent, which makes it worse.
I really don't think I have the social tools to make it work. I'm tired of being alone, and I'm just burnt out.
Almost hung myself tonight, but I decided against it.
>>17029624
Not OP, but also a 25 yo virgin
>How often do you talk to women and how often do you go on dates
fucking lol if you think women want to talk to me, let alone go on dates with me
>flirty and playful or reserved and formal/in interview mode
what?
>Do you play up your sexual side around women or hold back in fear of being rejected
what the hell does ''playing up your sexual side'' mean? groping her?
>How do you rate yourself in looks
im honestly pretty good looking. Too bad women don't care all that much about looks.
If anything else, it only gets me attention of gay guys
>do you still live with your folks
yes
>do you have any major passions or interests?
yes, i love to play piano (classical) and practice alot. I don't really see what this has to do with attracting women. Ive seen guys who do jackshit all day but smoke weed, and don't give a shit about anything, laying a shitton of girls, while ive also seen guys who travel alot and have lots of interesting hobbies having trouble getting any girl to even notice them
>>17029658
I made a match profile, no bites. Took a class, but every woman is in a relationship.
>>17029641
I'm just barely hanging on right now, on a tiny glimmer of hope that it works out like that.
>>17029658
if you're feeling sincerely suicidal, and have anxiety and security issues, your problem is less about being single and more about underlying depression / anxiety issues. getting laid won't fix those. seeing a professional and getting counseling or medication as you need will- and you might find that, when you're not fighting with your own mind any more, other things come easier, including social interaction. it's hard to do anything when you're struggling like that, let alone complex stuff like managing interpersonal relationships
source: been there, trust me
and living with your parent isn't an issue. LOTS of adults live with their parents. it's an economy thing, and it isn't a turn-off
source: i said so
>>17029685
I have a good counselor, I've tried multiple meds. I really don't think it's working anymore.
>>17029572
You're a virgin, so you want to blow your brains out? You don't have problems, man. Please refrain from being retarded.
>>17029572
I thought you were saving it till marriage?
>>17029572
Being a born again virgin is worse. I haven't had sex in over 5 years. Sex is also overrated if the only goal is sex and not connection.
>>17029692
If the counseling isn't helping, your counselor may be good but they're not good for you. Just like trying different meds until you find one that works, you may need to try different counselors.
That said, unless you've tried every medication on earth, there are still more you can try. Some just don't react well with our brains; We build up resistances to others; etc etc etc.
If you're only 25, you there's no way you've exhausted nearly every possible solution. Keep trying, dude. You'll get there.
>>17029757
Thanks anon.
>>17029572
Watch television, imitate confident/attractive guys; play your role well, it'll happen.
>>17029802
a good way to spot autists is to see if someone bases their real life behaviour and persona on a fictional character
>>17029572
Bro, 25, male, had sex with one girl, she goes on years later to (personally in real life) ruin the perfect night with the women i love(her friend) bro lift and save it for marriage
>>17029572
>25 y/o male virgin. I'm convinced it's never gonna happen at this point. Give me any reason no to blow my head off right now.
Don't worry about the sex. Just find someone you can stand to be around and have fun.
When you're young sex seems to be the end all / be all, and movies about teens / young people are all about sex.
After you've done it a few times, you'll see it's just not that big of a deal. It's an extension of your relationship.
Go to some country where prostitution is legal and fuck someone
alternatively move to thailand and become a god king
>>17029660
If you can't see why women wouldn't want to talk to you based on your answers alone, I don't think you can be helped.
>yes, i love to play piano (classical) and practice alot. I don't really see what this has to do with attracting women. Ive seen guys who do jackshit all day but smoke weed, and don't give a shit about anything, laying a shitton of girls, while ive also seen guys who travel alot and have lots of interesting hobbies having trouble getting any girl to even notice them
Classical piano is a very niche interest, take it from someone who wasted 12 years worth of lessons because of their parents. If you can focus on learning music theory and how to compose music then you might have hope. So many piano players are just "play by ear" douches that are not really that much different than the college guy who plays chords on guitar and thinks he's 2deep4u. People with actual hard earned skill in music are the truly interesting ones.
Also, fucking a ton of girls means nothing if they don't want to stick around and be your girlfriend, they're just sluts beings sluts. The guy who travels a lot might be having a more difficult time with women because he does travel. which opens a can of worms on its own merit.
>>17029624
Just to be clear: you're responding to a guy who's a 25-year-old virgin, and you're asking these profoundly stupid questions.
where are you anon? will you fuck me?
>>17030390
No frog, you're going to eat me. Fuck you. I sense Jeffery dalmer a mile away.
>caring about sex and women
You are just not enlightened yet. Free yourself. I'm a 26 year old virgin and happier than ever before. Seriously I'm just glad that nobody bothers me. I can't stand other humans for a longer time period anymore. Life is good.
>>17029572
I lost mine to a girl at 29 and I can tell you it wasn't worth it - nothing changed. Don't beat yourself up about it.
I lost virginity at your age.
I started to work out at the gym and chatting randomly with girls around, even ugly ones.
My confidence went through the roof, and believe me i was very shy with always the worst answer.
Soon youll understand you can treat girls like your male friends and not be afraid.
Then i took the next step. Get a haircut, dress always like you are gonna meet your girl of the life today. Clean nails. Wash yourself and have a good smell.
It will happen boy.
I discovered i am also a good woman fucker and now i have tons of pussy around and a super girlfriend.
I would never believei would becomw this. Just take your future in your hands NOW.
>>17030775
>Clean nails
What the fuck lol
>>17029572
You're a 25 year old virgin, and you still worry about it? I'm in the same boat and haven't really given a shit in years. I mean it'd be nice if it happened, but fuck it, I'm not centering my self worth on where my dick's been.
>>17029658
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZEsdGDRs0U
>>17030775
>Clean nails
jesus how disgusting were you that this is even on your list...
>>17029572
Just go get a gf and have sex, dummy
>>17029584
>only 4 more years until the statute of limitations is up for the one girl that I would ever be concerned about pursuing rape charges
I'm gonna make it, senpai!
>>17029572
Don't do it anon, there's more to life than sex. It's kinda overrated to spend a day bumming around with someone who adores you, cautiously flirt more and more with each other, passionately kiss and makeout on her couch until you're both ragged and frustrated, then start stripping each other's clothes off while you at first worry what they'll think of you then get reassured by how desperate she seems to get your dick inside her mouth or her vagina, then spend the next few hours wrestling and humping in a sweaty tangle of needy fucking, capped off by a snuggle and a contemplative, tension-free philosophical conversation.
It's not all that great.
The thing that always that I find odd about these type of threads is that both OP and the advice given seem to ignore the situation that has led up to OP being a 25 yo virgin, namely the lack of a social life and friends.
Losing your virginity is a milestone you were supposed to pass through organically, just though connecting with other people and not just in the "getting laid" sense.
>>17030905
>Losing your virginity is a milestone you were supposed to pass through organically
Not everyone gets to have friends.
>>17030775
girls who are minding their own buisiness don't want to be approached by random guys, why would i be somehow different from the hundreds of guys that approach her daily
>>17029658
I'd fuck ya
>>17029572
Im a 31 year old wizard.
No regrets. I have my own house, an airplane, and 3 cars.
Ehen i hit 40 i will adopt a kid ( 10 years old or older) then at 50 i will adopt teens about to age out and help them on in life bu paying for college and being fatherly.
>>17030885
Sounds horrible
>>17031045
approach come naturally if you are expansive and confident enough.
i met my girlfriend at the train station. i was in the mindset i explained before. confident and always ready. she was nice, looking at me. i smiled at her, she smiled back. i went near and just said hi and chitchat. why are you here, what do you study, etc... we sat near in the train. talked a bit. then we exchanged phone numbers. she wrote me first.
it should be your daily exercise. every time you go out, talk to some girls. the objective is NOT to latch on and have a date. you only desperately need to be confident talking to girls. you can be the ugliest, but believe me confidence is the sexiest thing for a girl. they are a lot more attracted by sensations than by physical apperance. it's different from us.
at the supermarket: hey, do you think those biscuits are good or too much chocolate?
inside the bus: wow this driver drives like a mad!
at the post office:hey is that a samsung galaxy s7? how is it?
basically you can talk everywhere and you'll be surprised how much the girls are willing to talk to you. at first you will feel shame. but with time you'll realize you probably will never see them so there is nothing to be ashamed of.
you will start to notice the most responsive ones, they will likely ask you questions or be very willing to talk to you in a general chitchat.
then invite her for a coffee. or a drink. talk some more. and it's done.
when you are more confident you can even start an argument with a compliment. shoes, bags, eyes. just be funny and don't pretend to be interested. just smile and say simple things.
woman LOVE guys who have the balls to talk to them. they feel it on the skin.
they have WAAAY less approaches than you think.
about the nails: it's more important than you think. it was just an example. but girls are champions at noticing if you take care of yourself. and they like it if you do.
beard, eyebrows, clean skin.
your natural defects don't matter
>>17030848
sounds harsh i know. my nails were ok, but i have a form of dermatitis i sometimes scratch a bit here and there. that little skin that goes under the nails, oxidises and becomes dark.
so now i keep them more trimmed than a normal person would.
>>17031082
Sounds kinda dumb and a recipe for screwing up a kid.
>>17029827
As an autist, I can confirm that this is true
>>17031375
Not the same guy you're talking to, and you may be long gone from this thread so I guess this question is for anyone.
How can you possibly be confident when you have absolutely no experience with girls? I mean, confidence comes directly from experience right?
Should I just expect that my first attempts are going to be painfully awkward? But then I'll be more confident as I do it more?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how can an inexperienced guy be confident?
>>17033374
not gone already and glad you asked.
One part of confidence is experience. i come from an all-male upper school and then went to university. i was awfully shy and awkward i know the pain.
you almost see every girl around like an unreacheable trophy and the idea to talk to a girl is embarassing.
with time and some positive chat feedback to girls you will soon realize they are human beings, they like you for the simple fact that you are a male, they have the same desires and fears as you.
it will be awkward at first. you could even be at the point to have your brain freezed and say stupid things after a few words. i did that many times. but it WILL go away. you just have to cross the line a few times and remember you didn't to anything wrong.
the other part of confidence comes from knowing you are ok with yourself. gym builds confidence very quickly. you don't need to be muscular, the simple fact of taking care of yourself builds confidence. the same with haircut, some casual dressing you feel good into.
no need to spend tons of money on. a pair of jeans, shoes and a shirt will do. the point is feeling ok about yourself.
and remember: you might not like what you see on the mirror, we are all conditioned by male models wee see around. but girls have different tastes and care more about emotions than physical appearance.
ever seen an ugly guy with a pretty woman? that guy probably is confident.
I think you should do something about your thoughts of suicide before you start seeking mates.
>>17033755
[cont.]
build up confidence with every woman you can.
it's an exercise. talk to ugly girls, talk to old ones, talk to young ones.
you'll be surprised. just smile, be gentle and be yourself. have an opinion on everything, don't be afraid of disagree on something, just state your opinion. they feel if you are lying. don't force youself to agree on something you don't.
the pretty ones will come with time.
if she has a vagina, it's fine for the point of exercising.
when you'll be at the top of the food chain you'll even realize pretty girls are even easier, males are afraid to talk to them and many are alone for this simple fact, even if they will make everything to appear the opposite.
also another advice, when you will be more into a girl:
ugly/average ones: --> compliment about appearance
pretty ones: --> compliment about intelligence and funnyness
>>17033755
>>17033774
Different anon here.
Without too much detail, 18yo almost 19 virgin who's lonely beyond all belief, used to be social at my uni when I was 16-17 but three really nasty cunts ruined it, and I've been a depressed shutin for about 6 months.
Thanks for the reference material. I believe in myself again and I think this will help a lot.
Thank you kind stranger
There's a lot more to life than sex.
There's definitely a lot of girls who would like a boyfriend. I know a lot of them. Some of them are angry about it and some are really nice. The biggest barrier between a normal guy and meeting them is just trust, they really want somebody but they are going to be suspicious at first.
Having a life solves every problem here.
>>17033827
Happy to hear this anon. I'm having a beer in your honor.
>>17033841
Anon it is true what you say.
But sometimes the desire of sex can make you feel a looser and you desperately need to make a change for yourself.
After you've had your fun, your priorities change and you realize it was just a step in your life.
My brother is almost 28 and a kissless virgin if that makes you feel any better.
>>17033827
>19
Man, get lost. The threshold is 25+ before it get's weird.
Just go to the gym and all else will come
>>17034019
I'd say it starts to get weird after about 20, It isn't creepy until after 25.
brah i'm 25 y/o male virgin too.
Don't sweat it. No need to rush that shit like society wants you to. The time will come but first things first; you gotta LOVE YOURSELF before you can love others.
Don't kill urself.
Please.
I have a question. Is there any way to get rid of the intense feelings of wanting a female to love you?
I'm 18 and in University. I fucked up my first year socially, but I'm ready to start trying again next year. How do I not go crazy until then though? Up until college I was fine, but now half of every day I'm thinking about what it would like to hug and kiss a girl. I've tried dating sites but they only make it worse because they remind me how real women aren't attracted to me.
>>17029572
Because sex is such a trivially small part of life, and not worth the anguish you're putting yourself through over it
>>17029572
Work on yourself. If you're at the point where you have no hope left for yourself you might as well take actions to create the life you want for yourself. Always wanted to play guitar? Do it. Always wanted to go to Amsterdam? Book a trip. The more you obsess over something the more daunting it seems. Instead take actions on aspects of life you have direct control over and it won't happen overnight but soon you will be attracting the type of women you've always wanted.
>>17029572
I´m in the same boat, 20m and never had a girlfriend.
I´m not even ugly or something, I´m 6'3, do MMA and lifting. My face and style are not exceptional but pretty ok. I´m in College rn, studying CS.
I guess my main problem is, that I don´t really go to parties and dont really talk to people.
Since i started doing sports(about 1,5y ago), i started catching girls checking me out. But i have no idea what to do, so I´ll always stare on the ground.
All I want is a cute gf to cuddle with :(
I will be a 27 year old virgin soon. In all honesty I could lose my card this week if I lowered my standards and actually went to a bar or some such. I stopped trying when I was 21 or 22, basically stopped talking to women. My teenage years were awful, I got bullied all of the time, I had terrible acne, and every time I tried to talk to a girl turned out a full blown disaster (being laughed at and made fun of.) Suffice to say I'm not the biggest fan of people, I don't like socializing.
I am different now though, more confident, reasonably healthy, I am not great looking but normal enough, I dress well and I make decent money.
I dedicated myself to my career (computers) and I am doing fine for someone my age. Work pays off. Soon I am buying a new truck and a small house somewhere out West where weed is legal. I am going to smoke weed, play video games, read books, explore the wilderness.
If you think about it, this kind of life has positives and negatives. You are relieved of most of the burdens that most men deal with. I am not having kids which gives me a lot of disposable income. I don't have to worry about appeasing a girlfriend or a wife, I can live the life I want, even if others consider it immature or wasteful.
>>17036058
That plan sounds pretty awesome man.
I'm a little bit similar, 28yo not virgin but haven't had sex in 8 years. Not good at talking to people or socialising. And while I do often wish I had a nice girl to be intimate with, the vast majority of girls I meet or see in real life do not interest me. I went on a 'coffee date' type thing with a girl from okcupid about 1.5 years ago, and the anxiety made me piss blood.
I went but it was a bit of an embarrassing disaster. I could tell, especially in hindsight that she thought I was a boring loser. But hey she was pretty boring as well.
>>17036073
>the anxiety made me piss blood
are you being serious or is this an expression I've never heard before?
Dude your first time will be horrible. Might as well bang an ugly girl and get over it. There are desperate girls out there. Losing your v card sucks but when you actually get good it is great
>>17029802
>pic related?
>>17030775
>I discovered i am also a good woman fucker
kek
Fuck bitches. Just... not in that sense
Honestly, I mean, maybe it would feel good to do the sex and you might long a companion or whatever. But you should get that off your mind. Stop giving a shit. Let go of that desire, and work on yourself. On being great at something, or achieving something great, or what fucking ever. Just, don't give a shit about wimyn no more. Guys like Newton and Tesla died virgins, and look what they accomplished.
>>17036112
No I actually did have blood coming out of my dick. I went to a doctor and got scanned but there were no problems and it went away after that. The anxiety caused me to piss blood.
>>17029572
Hit the gym brah, get shredded as fuck
Stop being a sad cunt brah. I'll write you a gym plan if yuou want(just ask)
>>17036150
jesus, thats brutal. I have anxiety like a mother fucker but i've never had physical symptoms that bad.
>>17036155
Piss off fag
>>17036155
I miss zyzz
>>17036163
I did feel nervous but not THAT nervous. So it's like, instead of emotionally feeling the anxiety it got channeled into a physical symptom.
>>17036166
Never gonna make it with that attitude, brah
Alpha males bring up everyone around them, beta males cause social terrorism due to their inferiority complex.
Dude, I lost my v card freshmen year of highschool. Just bang your local slut
>>17036179
Shit, why didn't I think of that?
>>17036112
porphyrias, rhabdomyolysis
>>17035978
>Is there any way to get rid of the intense feelings of wanting a female to love you?
No good way. It's like amputating a toe cause you keep stubbing it.
>>17029644
Well OP is probs shit out of luck with women.
>>17036179
I don't even know who my local slut is.
>>17029590
Is this a joke or a real assumption?
I used to think things like this were a joke until I browsed tumblr
>>17033877
>tfw younger brother is posting
i just want to crawl up and die because i feel its far too late for me, and it discourages me from even starting to change because i feel theres so much i need to do that i'll never turn it around before i grow old and die
>>17037051
Your loss. Thousands (more like millions) of obese, ugly, no-life fucks are having sex right now. Not with models exactly, but it's still women.
>>17037109
yeah, im no winner right now, i get that, but i dont want to settle for something like that as a loser either
maybe im picky and deserve my fate, but i dont want to just be having sex with fat women who dislike me and treat me like dirt for the rest of my life.
>>17029572
30 years old male muslim virgin. jobless master degree.
no alcohol, no smoking, no gambling, no pork, no drugs.
can you imagine?
Listen up, you miserable fuck. First of all, don't kill yourself, because I love you. Not kidding, bro.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3+ years. I wanted it, it's because this is my last year in college and I wanted to mess around a little before settling down for good. Long story short, these past few weeks have been hugely sexually frustrating for me. With two different girls, both of whom I'd gladly fuck, got them all alone and made it up to their rooms and then "Oh Anon, I'm tired, I just want to go to bed. You should probably head out." Fucking bullshit.
Literally like two hours ago, went out to a bar w/a bunch of people from school. Hit it off with this girl I've been eyeing all year. Buy her drink, conversation, etc. BUT I forget to get her number. Then she disappears on me to go do some shit with her girlfriends.
I wanted to put my fist through a fucking wall. I wanted to go out walking at 3:00 a.m. and chuck my beer bottle through the window of the first miserable piece of shit suburban McMansion I could find. I let my friends down (who tried to wingman for me as best they could), and I'm sitting here in bed ruminating over what happened.
Anyway, the point is that you're going to get knocked on your ass in the dating game. It's a fact of life. But, to give a timely example, remember that Kobe Bryant has missed more shots than anyone in the history of the NBA. He *had* to, in order to become what he is today.
Tomorrow, I'm going to walk up to that girl and ask for her number. Not reminisce about how I fucked up, or wonder how I could have done better. I'm just going to fucking do it. With a smile on my face, firmly but nicely.
Also, watch this video. Some pretty amazing stuff right there. Just goes to show. https://youtu.be/X7PAYhmoKkA
Like I said, I love you and I feel for you OP. Stay strong, power through this shit, and above all, be patient with yourself. It will happen.
Fuck, felt good to get that off my chest.
>>17037263
What a bunch of shit (that youtube) none of those cunts would actually go out with him, they just don't want to admit it in front of a camera.
Those numbers they gave him were fake, they just wanted to bring him down gently.
>>17031375
I am socially retarded
How do you find things to open with. And things to discuss after.
If I'm not near cookies or on a bus with a crazy driver, how do I come up with things to say? And how do I even continue the conversion afterwards?
If someone told me the driver was crazy, I'd literally just say "yeah..."
>>17030775
Posts like this are why i browse /adv/, I can't even imagine the kind of person who would post shit like this.
>>17037415
I've always thought the same thing about crazy youtube pick up videos. The girls either give a fake number, or give their real number but just ignore him when he texts.
>>17038058
Bump
>>17038058
plz respond
