hey guys, my boyfriend(fiance really) of 6 and a half years and I just broke up because i found out he was cheating on me with someone underaged
what do i do?
I got all of his stuff out of my apartment
now im just sitting here on the floor with a 12 pack of not hard enough liquor
he was my entire life, we met when we were 16 and we've been together ever since
i know
high school sweetheart blah blah but i was 100% sure we were fine
he blamed it on my depression but you don't cheat on someone with depression
any advice on what to do next?
I'mc ompletely lost...
pic unrelated of course
I feel bad for people like you whenever I read it.
and for a sociopath that's pretty weird but yeah.
Idk what to advice you but if you play vidyas I could accompany you for a while.
How underage? Like 17 or 14?
If it was really too young, you need to sober up and then call police.
Are your financially stable? If not think about that first which is good because it should keep you occupied. Got a car? think about that too. Any thought of stuff you need to get done and straighten out, now is a good time to do it to keep you focused off your ex.
>>17021504
that sounds nice, not console tho only pc since i sold my console
>>17021512
17, i know it isn't much but still- it's almost a 6 year age difference... His dad is a police officer, too, which is fucking hilarious. He openly admitted to fucking her without a condom a month ago
>>17021527
i have a source of income that wasn't dependant on him in the slightest and have all my bills paid for the month, but still nice to have extra income from his job and have a car thats paid off as well
>>17021541
So you don't have a car? you need to get one. Do you walk to work? take the bus? How much money do you have saved up. I would look on Craigslist. I'm sure people have bad experiences but me and my wife got lucky with the last two (only two) we've every gotten off craigslist. They were a Jeep Liberty 2003 for around $3,300 and a Ford Explorer Sport Trac for around $6,500.
>>17021553
sorry
i guess my sentence wasn't clear
i have a car, fully paid off. Got it a couple months ago since our(really mine) old one broke down and was more expensive to fix.
>>17021561
What do you do for work?
>>17021578
i currently work in child care
>>17021587
That's good. What are your hours? Do you work tomorrow? can you work extra overtime to keep you occupied.
>>17021598
i don't, took the time off... Im going to my parents to see them tomorrow in the evening and i work from 2 to 6ish
>>17021624
Shit. Wrong move if you ask me. I guess at least while you're parents avoid talking about him. Don't dwell on it.
>>17021631
well it's unrelated to this note, we literally just broke up 5 hours ago so
nah i took tomorrow off because my mom's 14 year old cat died friday and i need to spend time with her because that cat was like her fucking kid and i grew up with that cat basically.
>>17021498
distract yourself
first with frivolous things
then with productive things
and finally, with profitable things
let progress be your new bf
>>17021668
god damn right anon
progress will be my new boyfriend
im gonna marry the FUCK out of progress
i have therapy on wednesday and i can't fucking wait for it enough
>>17021537
If it's illegal and you have evidence, report his ass. Hang him out to dry. No excuse for that shit, just shameful.
And yeah this >>17021668
>>17021782
i don't know if it's legal or illegal but i don't want him in my life and reporting it will just continue it
i just want it over and done with
he can fuck up his own damn life with his behaviour and douchebagness
>>17021782
ruining someone's entire fucking life seems a bit excessive don't ya think?
He's 22. That means OP and him started dating when they were fucking 16.(yeah I know she said that but still) It's absolute bullshit to be thinking that relationship was going to last.
It's shitty he cheated but to ruin someone's life because their highschool sweetheart relationship didn't last? Really?
>>17021806
Did you forget he fucked a child?
>>17021806
Hey it was his choice to do something illegal (if it is illegal there) and it was him choice to cheat.
>>17021806
this
i don't want to ruin his life over ruining my own
the last year was shit and he was emotionally abusive and i'm surprised it lasted this long but it just happened so quick
i just want to leave it be and ask for my things back...
>>17021498
Just live your live. You're like what? 21? 22? You met each other in highschool. Odds are if he didn't cheat you were going to. That's way too young to possibly think you would stay together forever and ever.
Cut off all contact with him. Seriously. Just cut the shit now. Don't reply to his texts or emails. Block them. Block him on facebook, twitter, instagram, tumblr, pinterest, fucking everything and do not look back. Don't fuck this up. Don't ever talk to him again. No matter what he says or how angry you get or how lonely. Whatever you fucking do, DO NOT TALK TO HIM AGAIN.
Stop drinking cus that's childish. Go hang out with friends and family. After awhile go meet someone new and you'll forget anything ever happened. Don't be a vindictive bitch and report him to the police for something as arbitrary as having sex with a 17 year old thats probably only a few months from being legal anyways. Don't be that person. Just ignore them and focus on your own life.
You'll be fine. You're young. This shit will happen again in the future so get use to it now.
>>17021806
>Reporting someone for murder
>"Don't ruin his life guys, that's just petty"
wew lad
>>17021816
she's 17, almost 18;
i think it's legal
we both live in oregon
>>17021498
It will suck for a long time. You will feel dead inside, angry and sad for a long time. It fades eventually and you'll learn to be happy again. friends and family are great for this.
You will have issues trusting the next person you date. This is normal and everyone has it.
Any revenge will seem petty and filled with regret in the long term
Don't get back together, people almost never change.
Don't seek validation from a SO as the source of happiness in your life. You need to learn to be happy and handle depression on your own before bringing someone else into your life.
Get a hobby if you don't have one. Netflix/4chan/videogames aren't a hobby. Do something that requires physical effort or requires you to leave your house.
>>17021816
>>17021825
>>17021817
Holy shit you faggots cannot be serious? How the fuck is a 17 year old a child in any way shape or form? How is it comparable to fucking MURDER.
A lot of anons here smoke weed but would you report them to the cops as well?
You people are pieces of shit.
>>17021821
yeah i'm 21, and drinking just sounded nice so i bought a 12 pack of redds wicked and am listening to music and trying to calm down. I told him not to talk to me unless it's needed (ie; getting my stuff, giving him his stuff(it's all in the storage we have with a key) and i just want him gone
>>17021834
In the legal sense lel?
>>17021834
this as well
the girl is almost 18 and honestly
i feel sorry for her because his dick was small and he didn't fuck good
i only came twice the entire 6 years we were together
i just love him a lot, though
well
what i thought was love
he's my comfort zone and i figured no one else will want me due to my depression/anxiety..
>>17021830
i don't really seek validation
it's just nice to have companionship outside of friends and family
it's gonna be weird sleeping alone tonight
and i have hobbies outside of these,
i go for a jog every day and often times go to the library and read and write
but video games are nice
but i can't play our favourite games we had together
it's just not gonna be fine for a while
like i said, i have therapy on wednesday so this is just i guess a way to help advise ways to get over it right now instead of getting so fucked up i'll do something i regret.
>>17021835
Just don't drink until you're to the point of blacking out repeatedly(or even once).
Even then, just be strong and don't get suckered into a conversation. Even if you want to tear into him it's just gonna end badly. What he did was shitty as fuck and he should feel like shit for doing it. Odds are he will regret it later and if he doesn't then he's just a shit person.
They say love is better the second time around anyways.
>>17021846
Honestly, what's going to happen is she will leave him or she'll cheat on him eventually too. Which is exactly what happened to the ex's that cheated on me. Bother of them got with people that later cheated on them.
Karma is hilarious.
>>17021854
i won't
i'm german and irish and have a high tolerance for alcohol so this 12 pack of 8% won't do much besides get me buzzed and feel good
and i won't allow him to contact me unless it's with the intention on giving me something i own or getting his things i threw out of my apartment
it is under my name, i wasn't that dumb
i moved out 2 years ago of my parents place and he lived with me for a year and a half of it
he met the girl on facebook and met up with her (she lives like 4 hours away) and fucked her i guess for the past 3 or so months
i asked him if they loved each other
he said he didn't know
i'm pissed because why didn't he just end it with me?
why didn't I with him?
He emotionally abused me for the past year because he started drinking heavily and staying out late to party
it was toxic but it's what i thought was love
he helped me through a lot in my life....
>>17021863
i'm honestly looking forward to karma bitng him in the fucking ass
it's gonna be so satisfying
more so than when we'd fuck
i'm a good fucking girlfriend
i was faithful to him for 6 and a half years
i basically looked after him and let him live with me after he got kicked out of his mom's place
and my mom told me she had bad vibes from him
i guess i should have trusted her instinct because she's never been wrong before when she felt something wrong
>>17021853
>i don't really seek validation
This entire thread shows otherwise
>it's just nice to have companionship outside of friends and family
that doesn't exist
>it's gonna be weird sleeping alone tonight
it will be weird a while
>and i have hobbies outside of these,
>i go for a jog every day and often times go to >the library and read and write
>but video games are nice
>but i can't play our favourite games we had together
shit sucks, I didn't do a few things I had done with ex for a while after break up, I do them now because I don't associate it with them
>it's just not gonna be fine for a while
>like i said, i have therapy on wednesday so this is just i guess a way to help advise ways to get over it right now instead of getting so fucked up i'll do something i regret.
Therapy? Sounds like a waste of money and time. This is something 99% of the population has or will go through at some point in their life. Get advice from parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, literally any random person on the street. But if you have money to burn then by all means
There is no quick fix to a breakup. You can ruin his life if you want, but that can be very dangerous, because he could just do the same to you. You could go have rebound sex with some cool dudes, which will feel good but you might regret afterward.
Or you can keep posting here looking for that one person to validate what you've already set your mind on doing, like every other thread on this board
>>17021864
>he met the girl on facebook
How do you meet someone on Facebook? Through mutual friends?
>>17021864
>he helped me through a lot in my life....
Not really. He probably helped out a lot less than you're thinking right now. Odds are you helped him more than he helped you. He's doing the typical "woo I'm 20 I want to party and be a massive cunt to everyone" phase so his life is just going to be extremely destructive for a long time. Just relax and continue your life like nothing happened.
I know how the depression feels since I have had that my entire life. It sucks, but you have gotten this far by your own. No one helped you. It's your own struggle you deal with and it's your own achievement when you continue to go on even while feeling like shit.
mostly just stay busy with work or school or hobbies. Pick up painting or photography. If you just walk around the city or national parks or whatever and take some pretty photos you get to relax, workout, and learn a skill. Don't TRY to meet someone new. That almost never works. Just do whatever you do normally and odds are you'll run into someone naturally.
>>17021884
i just wanted advice for right now man chill
and i've been in therapy for a year or so due to life issues i've had since i was little, not for this
it has helped me a lot
and companionship outside of friends and family does exist, ie; relationship
>>17021885
I have met 3 girls on facebook. I have also met girls on tumblr. If you have a skill or hobbie you share online and people like it they add you on social media. If you're really good sometimes they talk to you.
I have had more success talking to girls on facebook than any dating site or tinder or whatever the fuck kids are using today.
>>17021816
>he fucked a child
not really lel
girls that age are like apples ripe and ready for harvest, if you don't do it they are just gonna hit the ground and became damaged
>>17021892
well what I mean with is he was there when i went through family problems and was a place to stay when i couldn't bare it in my parents house
and yeah
i suffer from dysthymia, before it was chronic depression... I've had it for as long as i can remember and just recently sought out help.
and i''ll try to do photography, im gonna start working out soon because i have a membership to a local gym for a sale price for like a year so that's cool i guess..
You've been together since you were 16 and he cheats on you after 6.5 years... sounds like the typical deal where two kids stay together after hs because they're in "love" and before long they realize they built their whole life around this other person that is still growing and changing and not ready to be with someone for the rest of their life.
All I can say is that this is a good thing for you. You might not feel good about it rn or even ever but count your blessings that this happened now and not when you were married with a couple of kids and a ton of shared assets that make for a messy divorce.
A lot of young adults forget that they still have to grow and develop as a person. This is one heartbreak in a whirlwind of experiences that will make up your life, and whatever you take away from this try to learn from it. Learning from failures is the only way to improve your life.
>>17021924
thanksanon
it's just hard
he basically was my first everything
ive had maybe two other relationships besides this one and both were when i was young and they both lasted maybe two months, not even
so a lot of my life was in that
>>17021931
>it's just hard
not as hard as his dick when he sees that 17 yo hah
>>17021980
AYYYYYYYYY good burn dude
thanks for making me laugh when i feel like shit
it's so dirty to think he fucked a 17 year old like wtf
If I lived closer to Oregon I'd offer to take you out and go see a movie or museum or something dumb like that. I've been on both ends of a relationship with depression and anxiety fucking things up, and it's no fun to deal with. Almost super to pick up the pieces afterwards, too, although that will get better over time.
But if you've got someone nearby who wouldn't have to drive two hours just to get into Portland, you should plan something with them, something chill that doesn't take a lot of personal emotional investment. It's best if they're someone you can vent to, cause that might come bubbling out throughout the day. Even if they aren't, though, it's still a good idea to get out and do things.
>>17021806
He sounds like a guy who will simply fuck over others if given the chance, if he hasn't even learned basic human decency at 22 he probably never will. And there's a good reason 16-22 relationships are forbidden in many places.
>>17021795
>i just want it over and done with
>he can fuck up his own damn life with his behaviour and douchebagness
The problem with this is that he'll probably just go on and do it to someone else. Sounds like he's already doing it to another young girl like you were back then, impressionable, vulnerable, etc. If there's at least something in his background check, like a police report/arrest/restraining order, then the next gal will have fair warning. But do what you want of course, your decision. Sometimes it ain't worth the trouble, gotta look out for yourself. Trying to save gullible fools from themselves is often a waste of time.
>>17021987
you're sweet anon
thanks for the offer, i don't even live near portland so hahahaha
and yeah
it ruins everything really, depression does
and i have my mom who i'm super close with that i can vent to
>>17021989
i know what the girl looks like too so if i ever see them around i'm gonna fucking puke
im like
why????????? it's so sad that your ex downgraded from you to a 17 year old girl with nothing going for her besides MAYBE big tits.
>>17021999
That's good. I never figured out how to vent to my parents properly, and even though I'm a little better at it now, I still tend to keep things to myself longer than I should.
Good luck, anon. You'll feel better over time.
>>17022001
It's so confusing when they cheat with someone that's just fucking hideous looking or an absolute loser.
Same thing with my ex that cheated on me. She went for a guy that was almost twice her age. He had no career, no special interests, no personality, poor, and average looks.
Of course they broke up a few months later and she tried to get back with me.
>>17021835
Is Redd's any good? I've never actually bought any but I see it every time I'm at the store.
>>17022029
I love that shit if it's super chilled. Strawberry and apple are bother really good.
Beer snobs will puke if they drink it though. I hate those faggots though. I love all kinds of beers. From the hipster as shit local brews to PBR. Redds is pretty good.
>>17022001
>>17022018
After being in a stable relationship for a long time, most dudes will tend to be interested in new girls that come around and flirt with them, even if they're not as hot as the GF, and even if they have sex twice a day. A big factor here is called the "Coolidge Effect": google it if you want to find out some more about the biology behind this.
Of course, the fact that a dude's animal instincts tell him "HEY WAKE UP, that new girl wants your dick, go fuck her brains out!" doesn't mean he has to do it: we're humans, not chimps. We control ourselves. Those who can't aren't really cut out for the whole "human" thing imo, better they stick to flinging shit.
>>17022001
>it's so sad that your ex downgraded from you to a 17 year old girl with nothing going for her besides MAYBE big tits
>downgraded
yeah right :)))
>>17022029
redd's is SUPER good. Especially with steak/in summer.
>>17021498
you better hope you dont get the po po called on your stat rape ass.
>>17021863
I hope you're right. My ex fucking lied to me since day 1 of our relationship and I only found out after she broke it off with me out of the blue with no reason - kept saying how great I was but she just didn't love me anymore - what fuckery is that. Then I found out she was cultivated another relationship with a total stranger while we were together and she was interstate. I really hope karma gets her back harder than just being cheated on.
>>17021875
This is a common pattern I see on this board. One person gives too much and the other takes it for granted. Speaking from experience here as well.
Gl in life homies, we all gon' make it
>>17021498
So the guy puts up with your admittedly crazy ass, muh depression and shit!, and you're pissed at him for wanting a modicum of happiness? You deserve what you got and I hope that you get some more. Oh...I forgot to include a trigger warning.
>>17021884
But she's a special sad snowflake! She has life problems! Kek at the fucking bullshit that OP is trying to shovel on everyone.
