Asperger problem
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Male here, what do I do when I'm just walking and a female is walking in front of me at a slightly slower pace? I panic, do I look like a 'creep'? I know at the speed that I walk I will have to pass her, so for some time I'll need to get nearer and nearer, eventually be next to her and pass her, and drift further and further away in front of her.
How would you have walked?
What I did was walk another path. I just don't know what to do or how to feel when there's someone in front of me walking slightly slower, forcing me to pass them or slow down to keep a distance.
Is this a symptom of Aspergers? I get the same kind of anxiety, especially if it's at night and the girl is alone. I'm a tall guy and I've gotten some frightened reactions, which never feels good. I usually just say "excuse me" as I'm about to pass, I figure it's the best I can do so I'm not just silently appearing right behind them.
>>17014654
Maybe every male feels this way, but yes Aspies don't know or care how to act but it gives us anxiety because we expect them to react negatively.
>>17014658
I think you should use carry around a boombox that loudly plays "DO NOT BE ALARMED. NON-THREATENING MALE APPROACHING. I WILL NOT HARM YOU" on a constant loop
>>17014663
That was funny
Well, it's nice you're thinking about it I guess, but I'd say that you're dealing with some guilt about your maleness and scariness to the opposite sex, yes?
If you're not planning on assaulting the girl, I'd suggest you think about that this means, and why you feel guilty about being a man.
Do you think that the black guys who pass you are worrying about your feelings as they do so?
I'd suggest a healthy dose of calming the fuck down and stop feeling guilty and anxious about existing.
>>17014684
>Do you think that the black guys who pass you are worrying about your feelings as they do so?
Yes. Black guys feel CONSTANT anxiety about this shit, and not just about women. Do you not know any black people? You've never heard them tell stories about people crossing the street to avoid passing them, or avoid sitting near them on the bus, or whatever? That doesn't make them think "aww yeah I'm a tough guy," it feels like shit.
>>17014684
Yes ok, but one time I did it and the lady actually JUMPED in shock. I just smiled nervously. I care about her feelings and am indeed scared of the next reaction I'll get.
>>17014684
Do you live in a city with really wide sidewalks, or something? Pretty much everyone I know, male and female, has acknowledged and joked about the awkwardness of this exact situation.
You might be the real aspie ITT if it's never even crossed your mind
>>17014642
That's not a stupid question.
You can cross the street, even if it's out of your way, just so she won't think you're sneaking up on her.
You can cough or whistle (or pretend to talk on your phone) in a way that makes that point.
You can speed up to pass her sooner, but say "excuse me" as you approach.
>>17015502
>You can cough
This is best I think. Just cough two or three times so she can hear you.
as a girl I genuinely get anxious when guys are walking behind me, if i'm alone and it's at night. not so much during the day. i'd say if it's night time, cross the street or slow your pace to give her space.
>>17015502
Solid suggestions. Also, don't feel bad on yourself just because the dumb bitch has no spatial awareness. If someone jumps in shock just keep doing you, react if you want then continue walking on and roll your damn eyes. Try walking around Manhattan on a Saturday. You'll get a handle on that scenario real quick.
>>17014693
>>17014707
100% this.
I also get a bit surprised if I didn't realize someone was walking behind me and thought I was alone on a street (and I'm a bulky dude over 6 feet). It's not always cause they're afraid of you in particular (like oh shit, rape incoming), but a general lack of awareness that catches them off guard and makes them suddenly self-conscious of themselves, while at the same time you happen to project your own anxiety onto the physical expression of that sudden awareness.
Especially if I recently farted or said really stupid shit outloud on the phone or were looking at something personal on a bright screen and I have no idea how long they were behind me for.
>>17015502
>>17015534
Also good points.
