>Me: Lots of money, great income
>Boyfriend: No money, low income
I'm going to be getting my own house soon, but I want complete ownership of it. I don't want a joint mortgage.
This means either:
>Boyfriend pays me rent, sees no return on money.
Is this a shitty thing to do?
>I pay mortgage, boyfriend lives rent free.
I feel like this is stupid.
Advice?
>>17013279
tell baby to pay you or kick him out. if he does nothing don't enable him. I'm not quite understanding if he has no money, there must be no income at all...? I don't think this is shitty unless you plan on marrying him. Otherwise, find a new guy who's worth the bang (and the buck). Best of luck!
If he is going to get offended at you asking him to contribute, then he really isn't long term material. And if you're not ready for marriage or financial entanglement, he might have the right to be hurt, but better him butt hurt, than you dragged into something you're not ready for.
If he makes enough to pay half the mortgage it should be a joint mortgage. If not then idk, this is s realy weird dynamic.
>>17013288
I was a bit harsh saying "no money". He works full time at minimum wage, and only saves a bit each month. Doesn't have enough to buy, only rent.
>>17013292
I feel like I'm banking on our relationship working out in the long-term though. We've never had any issues so far (4 years together) but it makes me uneasy that I'm investing in something that I only partly own.
Or avoid this situation altogether by moving into a fucking cheaper home you mongoloid.
>>17013304
This is what happens if the laws are applied equally. Think about it - a wife didn't build her husband's business for him but she still gets half of it when they divorce.
I'm not saying that it's right, but to repeat a phrase often repeated to me throughout life, "That's just the way it is."
You either charge your boyfriend rent or you let him live rent free. Those are the only two good options. I say let him live rent free if he's a good *person* just poor. Because remember girl, just because your biology says to constantly compare each other and the "fairness" of it all... that attitude rarely leads to a healthy relationship. I say let him live rent free. That way if he turns into an asshole you have every right to evict his ass immediately because you're doing him a good deed. And if you work out, then you just contributed to a great relationship.
>>17013279
unfortunately this is where the relationship gets sticky. if you say you want to buy it alone it implies that (at the time) you dont see a future with him and want to ensure you have your own place when it does end.
it sucks but theres no easy way around this. does he already live with you? or have his own place? its an easeir transition if you arent living together, but if you live togetyher now and are movingi ntogether soon thats a harder thing to explain.
the best you can do is explain the story as it is, and hope he doesnt hate it.
>>17013349
>>17013279
Just make up an excuse about how buying the house and paying for it by yourself has always been your dream and what it means to you is that you made it and this is an end goal. That it's important you did it all by yourself. Tell him he can save up for vacation money every month put in a certain amount every month or some shit.
>>17013279
Explain that it's a financial decision; you have the money for a house, and he doesn't. You want to buy a house, but you don't want to risk him not being able to pay for it. Therefore, if he lives with you, he pays rent as he can.
Maybe this will motivate him to find a better job?
This depends on how long you see yourselves being together, and if he has any prospects of improved income.
If you expect to be together long-term and potentially marry in the future, I think you should get a joint mortgage under the assumption that he will eventually contribute substantially to the relationship. If you think the relationship will be shorter than that, feel free to ask him to pay rent, but be aware that this will give away your hand.
>>17013389
It has absolutely fucking nothing with how long you see yourself with someone. Most people go into relationships thinking "I will love this person forever" and a year later they aren't together.
Even when mother fuckers get married they don't last more then a year.
>>17013343
>>17013349
Thought as much, seems like I've got some choices to make. Thanks!
>man gets home
>woman pays nothing, lives for free
>women gets home
>"I'm going to make him pay rent"
Check your privilege.
>>17013279
Maybe find middle ground between letting him mooch and bringing an ultimatum to the table.
Suggest that he buy groceries or something and hold him to it. Asking for rent would upset me personally.
Also, so long as you alone own the house, worst come to worst you have a house.
>>17013279
This is easy.
Do not make him pay rent. If you want him to contribute, this is different. You need to have a frank discussion about your plans and what you expect him to contribute. Anyone, in a committed relationship and living together, contributes. People contribute in different ways.
You need to decide what you expect as his contribution. If that's money, that's fine. If that's other things beside money, that's fine. It's different for every relationship.
There is no right or wrong here. There is what you're comfortable with, what he's comfortable with, and your partnership. If either of you isn't comfortable, then the relationship ends.
Based on "this is stupid" it sounds to me like you've already made up your mind.
>>17014048
Sorry bro, /adv/ is invaded by feminists/SJWs. Facts and logic don't work here.
>>17013363
this, plus your credit scores can have a lot to do with it. if he's poorer, I'm assuming (maybe wrongly?) that his credit score is a bit lower than yours. you want the best possible credit if you're getting a mortgage.
also if he's equal owner and something financially disastrous happens with the house, will he end up being on the hook for an amount he can't afford? not sure what that would be though and I'm too tired to dig into it. I just know with houses, there always end up being hidden costs and loopholes and legal weirdnesses that can end up costing money for whoever's name is on the deed or mortgage.
also if you guys get married, his name will end up on the mortgage anyway if you ever refinance.
>>17014048
I like how you think OP is suddenly all women. I never made my husband pay rent even before we were married. he helped out with bills and we split costs for stuff depending on how our work situations were. that's what you're supposed to do when you live together anyway.
>>17014169
well it's a good thing you're setting everybody straight and doing your part to defend the bastion of facts and logic that is 4chan.
>>17014208
I'm from that part of 4chan where low life feminists and SJWs don't ball. You got no game in front of me. Fuck off and crawl back to your safe space.
>>17013279
the second one is only stupid if you don't want to invest in your boyfriend.
since you don't want to invest in his future and make sure he has one, hes not long term material to you by your own mind and opinion.
straight girls, not even once.
Make him pay you rent and put it towards the mortgage. If you guys work out, then he did help pay for the house and it will be yours. If it doesn't, he lost the rent that he'd be paying to someone else anyways, no?
>>17013279
Why don't you just prorate ownership of the house via contract. Based off of your relative incomes?
AKA Mortgage is GBP £1000/month. You pay £700 and own 70% of the house, he pays £300 and owns 30%.
Why can't he just take care of the cleaning, cooking, and other chores that would be required by a "housewife"? If you have enough to buy the house yourself and you're working to do that, then asking him to be the "housewife/husband" seems fair.
