Obsessed with a friend

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Anonymous
Obsessed with a friend 2016-04-07 23:28:35 Post No. 17009170
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Obsessed with a friend Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:28:35 Post No. 17009170 [Report]

I lost a very close friend because I became obsessed with her. She was so close to me that I could not spend a single day without talking to her, and I wanted her to always be near me. I also got jealous of her BF. I felt so sick, that I would sometimes vomit when I was going to see her because I was so nervous and thinking about all the things I'd tell her. At first, she was the one that called me, I am not someone who uses to talk on the phone. But after some months, I was the one calling her all the time. I began to lose control, creating havoc everytime I saw her talking to someone else.

Finally she told me to fuck off, she was worried that I could hurt her. It wasn't easy for me to stay away from her. She is my classmate, and we see each other everyday and have friends in common. A year has passed now, during a long time I was really angry at her, I felt like I'd like to hurt her. But now, I don't feel like that anymore. I still see her but we don't talk. And it hurts me that I lost a friend like her for being so stupid. I'm probably still obsessed, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this. I just want her to be my friend, but she doesn't, it seems. Now everyone says it's been a long time and we should talk again, but I don't think I could(eventhough I'd like to), and she won't neither. What can I do?

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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:32:16 Post No.17009184
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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:32:16 Post No.17009184 [Report]

Wow. That is completely abnormal and worrisome behaviour. Rather than talking about being friends again, you should be talking to a therapist. GL, OP, and go take care of yourself.

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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:40:28 Post No.17009202
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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:40:28 Post No.17009202 [Report]

>>17009170
I think the problem is you don't value yourself or have enough in the rest of your life. That is why you put all this pressure on her to fill the void. You need to fill a lot more of the void with other things.

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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:42:22 Post No.17009206
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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:42:22 Post No.17009206 [Report]

>>17009202
Maybe, but that is not easy.

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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:43:46 Post No.17009210
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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:43:46 Post No.17009210 [Report]

>>17009206
No it is not easy but it is what you must do. You can't put your entire value on someone else to fulfill. It is too much pressure. You have to carry a lot of your value yourself and then look to someone else to round that out only.

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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:59:13 Post No.17009253
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Anonymous 2016-04-07 23:59:13 Post No.17009253 [Report]

>>17009210
It's easier to fill the void with videogames and other useless shit than with something that is productive. That is why I started obsessing with this girl in the first place. I used to spend a shit ton of time in the computer, until I met her. But I changed the computer for her. I just can't seem to find something that is good for me to do and I like to do at the same time.

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Anonymous 2016-04-08 00:02:16 Post No.17009259
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Anonymous 2016-04-08 00:02:16 Post No.17009259 [Report]

>>17009253
I don't mean filling the void of time. You can fill that with anything. I mean the void of seeing yourself as valuable. Playing video games does not make you feel valuable. This girl caring about you would. But you need other things that also would.

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Anonymous 2016-04-08 00:56:19 Post No.17009417
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Anonymous 2016-04-08 00:56:19 Post No.17009417 [Report]

I feel like this with male friends anon... Sometimes I really wonder if I'm becoming gay for them,

But you just went to too far I guess.