After years of being in the deepest mental hole beyond imaginable I've nearly given up on finishing school, I haven't been attending, I have no passion for anything, depressed/bipolar/psychotic symptoms and all that, talked to psychologists and psychiatrists, I just can't get myself to do anything in this world anymore. I've always been aware of the systems in place but I've gotten to a point where I'd rather die than do anything useful for machine. It would be nice to find something to hold on to and have a reason to live instead of death though. I just don't know what that is for me, and I feel like I won't be able to figure it out, plus, I'm running out of time. I'm on the border of dropping out of school because I physically can't make my brain analyze and write up papers. If I am to drop out, I will have only a few months to get my shit together and think about what to do, the sooner the better obviously, I can't stand even the thought of casual store or office jobs, and I can't stand years of school to get labeled for qualification of an actual job. Can't take working for someone else or doing mindless tasks. I want to create, be something, separate from the generic shit.
The purpose of this is to ask, what is a route I can take in life that won't make me want to kill myself? Is it even possible to break out of the system of formal education and all the qualification bs. Everybody tells me I'm beyond intelligent but this situation just makes me feel retarded.
>>17009146
Pic irrelevant btw.
And I fucking hate Rice A Roni.
>>17009146
Adopt one of those poor African children and dedicate your life to giving them the best life possible.
>>17009154
Another life to worry about.
Fantastic.
>>17009182
Yeah, to distract you from your own. I thought that would give you a purpose since you might not think you're worth anything but you would see them as innocent and deserving and it would make you want to help. No?
>>17009190
I still have no money and no job and don't want to finish school, I'm basically fucking myself. I don't think a child wants to die with me. Better idea for the future I guess.
>>17009195
I meant that would give you a reason to get a job and money. If you don't care about yourself enough that that motivates you, then having someone else to help could. I thought what you wanted is a purpose to motivate you since you don't care about yourself enough to be a motivation for yourself.
>>17009198
I see where you're going with that, but even if I were in that situation, I physically can't get myself to work in school or mindless jobs, there's just something in me that says, fuck this pointless shit, and I leave it.
>>17009208
What do you feel most passionate about on earth? Anything? Even if you don't think it's the kind of answer I'd be looking for?
>>17009211
I like video games, as an art form, as entertainment, as a sport, I just like them. Same with film, of any kind, could be a YouTube video, a movie or a full length multi-season show. I've thought of somehow taking that and making it into a career, but I like to be independent. But I feel it's hard to create this stuff alone, and even if I did, they would take too long and use too many resources and not be worth it in the end. I don't work well with random others or under someones power, and grinding through school to get on board with a large group to create something big doesn't appeal to me.
>>17009239
I assume there are people that run side businesses on their own and work as contractors to those industries. So then you could have your freedom and still contribute to your passion?
>>17009239
> I like video games
>... as a sport
Literally kill yourself. I know your type and you're all lazy assholes who all think they're going to be famous for playing Clicker Hero 7: The Carpal Tunneling.
>>17009258
I was only making the point that I like it for multiple reasons. I'm not some MLG wanna be fat kid in a basement with a 360p webcam thinking I'll be something in that zone.
