How do I get disciplined ?
My life is a mess right now and it's getting worse. I need discipline.
>>17008551
Realize that nobody truly cares when you fail to follow through with your own plans. And that You are just wasting your own time.
Make a decision and stick to it once or twice when confronted with the opportunity to do otherwise. Then relish the pride you feel for having stuck to your resolution.
It might not exceed the discomfort you feel for having passed up the chance to be lazy, but that's the heart of discipline: being satisfied by pride even when it's the lesser of two rewards. You'll eventually get into the habit of being happy with "enough" rather than "what feels best."
>>17008557
>>17008558
I do take decisions and I always end up letting them go.
>>17008551
the biggest issue is that you need to know what you want to do and focus on that. the fact that you dont bother telling us what you want to do shows us you have no discipline in regards to getting discipline.
viscous cycle
>>17008579
Then you are unfit to make choices for yourself. You will never become disciplined.
Some seeds don't germinate. Some puppies and kittens die. Every form of life around us experiences a significant degree of failure. Humanity is no different. If you're unwilling to make decisions which you are fully capable of making, you're part of humanity's failure.
>>17008585
I don't know what I want.
>>17008591
Go sell your depression somewhere else.
>>17008605
thats your biggest issue. how can you be disciplined if you cant even say what you want? there is nothing to be disciplined about.
you cant make goals or lists or steps for 'nothing'.
>>17008612
how do I get goals ?
>>17008579
procrastination, flaking out, and other self-discipline issues are usually the result of a chain of decisions made unconsciously or half-consciously. one common chain is
>I should do xyz
>I don't want to though
>I'm already in the middle of doing something fun
>there won't be any severe consequences if I don't get it done right now
>I guess it doesn't matter if I put it off til later/tomorrow
>I'll just keep doing what I'm doing
sometimes it's that you're making excuses to yourself. sometimes it's that you want to avoid doing something that's going to make you feel terrible.
idk if this works for everybody, but one thing that has helped me (when I actually do it) is to map out my train of thought from the moment I think "I need to do xyz" to the moment I decide not to do it. then once I mapped it out, I think of rebuttals to each of those thoughts. so:
>I should do xyz
>I don't want to though (that's fine, everybody has to do shit they don't want to)
>I'm already in the middle of doing something fun (you can continue when you're done)
>there won't be any severe consequences if I don't get it done right now (ok this may be true)
>I guess it doesn't matter if I put it off til later/tomorrow (it does matter, you will have it hanging over your head plus you will have less time to get it done)
however, this will only work if you get in the habit of actually paying attention to what you're thinking. fortunately, paying attention to your thoughts doesn't require as much discipline as actually getting up out of the chair. so while you will have to get out of the chair eventually, the preliminary step is pretty easy. and the more you do it, the easier it will be to make the decision to get up and do something.
every day, do something you don't want to do. but not only that, make sure you are paying attention to the fact that
>you are doing something
>you don't want to do it
>you're doing it anyway
>things are okay, you're okay
>>17008632
goals are things you want. you either want them or you dont. dont be stupid.
>>17008643
I want to be rich, have a private jet and I'd rather be in Hawaii right now.
>>17008642
thanks I'll try that
>>17008643
I would go farther and say that a goal is something you want bad enough that you're actually willing to do what it takes to get it. otherwise it's just something that would be nice to have.
>>17008674
where do they sell those
>>17008701
beats the shit out of me
>>17008551
Jesus
>>17008705
where did you get yours ?
>We are creatures of habit
>Our brain is like a sponge, and our mindset is determined by our environment and everything that we consume, that is, everything that comes in through our senses.
>Induging in unhealthy pleasures only makes us crave more of it, and thus we end up being slaves to sensual pleasure.
I found these three statements to be the cornerstone of explaining why we are lazy bastards and how we can change that. I'll elaborate in the next reply because it's a wall of text.
You can read it or just think about them
>>17008551
Stop being a faggot
>>17009209
I'm waiting
>>17009209
one of the first things I want to address and usually the strongest obstacle in our self-bettering is that of sensual pleasure.
Eating junk food. We don't need it. Our body doesn't ask for it, it comes with no nutritional value and it's just an expense to us and production of garbage. Moreover, they usually have additives that please our senses in a way that we end up wanting more of that. The only thing they ever do to us is activating our reward system, making us crave more, more. Often we could be saving our money but the desire is stronger tan us and we end up wasting money in these things.
Can't usually quit them cold turkey either (okay, some you can, I'd advise you to do it). Some are real addictions to us. But we can reduce their consumption and eventually the attraction starts to fade. I'm saying this by experience. I often drop bad habits (such as junk food, which I very rarely consume. After a few years not buying any of those things, I decided to try some X product, and it was a slippery slop and I started wasting real food money on those shits, until I quit them again).
Now, our environment has a lot to do with this. Do you watch TV? then you'll be bombed with ads on these stupid products 20% of your TV time. Quitting that shit is harder if we're constantly being reminded how tasty they are (or rather, how they affect our reward system). Everything we consume, by either of our senses, affects us in some way, and the more we do, the more we think that is the only reality that exists.
Oh, and that period of being addicted to junk food for a few months made me realize something else. When we start indulging in pleasure, our reward system starts asking for more of that, and the more we indulge, the more we are likely to do it again, not once, but twice.
>>17009246
I can go on about this but this is probably the core of the indiscipline problem (in my experience at least, take what works for you).
Along the 'we are creatures of habit'. We have the habit of self indulgence. Of getting up late, of watching porn every day (which works just like junk food in my previous reply), just like self loathing.
our habits determine what we attend, what we look for. By changing our habits, we'll be stepping towards a better position to drop unhealthy activities.
My advice, in sum, is that you should probably dispose of bad habits, in baby steps at first. You can't expect to quit drinking overnight (for example), and you can't just say "nofap for the rest of the year it is", but you can stop watching porn. If you can't drop porn drop 3D porn first. And so on.
I think that by taking down bad habits (and not going further until we are sure we are really not interested in doing them anymore) one is bound to have a clearer mind so you can start taking bigger steps.
Now remember, if you relapse, doesn't mean you fail. Means you might want to take a smaller step next time.
I believe in you anon. We are humans, we can do everything we want if we really want it
>>17009267
quitting porn is almost impossible though.
You can easily avoid fastfood, since it takes actual effort and money to get it. Porn on the other hand is one click away. It's also ingrained in our monkeybrains to fuck, and keep fucking if we can.
Porn is fucking fucked up man. I wish I could quit. But I also don't, you know?
>>17008551
ADHD is a possibility. I'd need to know more about you but the no discipline trying your hardest and getting nowhere while your life falls apart is a good enough sign to consider it possible and talk to a doctor.
As in a physician. It's medically accepted enough you don't have to ask a phoney shrink anymore.
Do a bit of research, see if it fits, don't consider a self diagnosis as fact, and decide if you should see a doctor.
Also don't mind the rage replies to me. I have a clinical psychology education. It is empirically proven and not an excuse.
>>17009347
Op here. Thank you for your help. What do you need to know about me ?